Bottom of the Ocean
by That Girl Again
Summary: Edward leaves and Bella releases a single, where she shares she'll never stop loving him, and she becomes a success. She gets what she wants, but what happens when Jacob, Edward and Victoria are thrown into the mix, in with celebs? ACTUAL PLOT. MY IDEA.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first story I write that isn't based on a song! Yay!**

**Um, also, I know this is like, a really common idea, and lots of people have done it, but I just hope mine is different.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any of the songs I use here.**

* * *

BPOV:

Edward had left. Yes, that was true. I'd been a zombie for a few months, but then I remembered the one thing that had never failed to make me feel better: Music.

The only thing _he_ didn't know about me was that I could sing, write music and play the guitar and piano. When I'd fallen in love, I'd written songs. When he left, I did the same after finding one of my music sheets where I wrote '_Until You're Mine'_, and it sort of just came together and I wrote a few others.

I usually kept my songs under my bed or in a folder or in my locker or sometimes in my binder, and one day, after Charlie said enough was enough, I went to Angela Weber's house and as she was checking my History notes, she came across '_Bottom of the Ocean_' and '_Until You're Mine'_ and said: "Hey, did you write these?" I nodded. "They're amazing! Can you play one?"

"Do you have a guitar?" She wordlessly handed me an acoustic guitar.

I started strumming and then singing '_Bottom of the Ocean'_:

_It's been in the past for a while  
I get a flash and I smile  
Am I crazy?  
Still miss you, baby_

_It was real  
It was right  
But it burned too hot to survive  
All that's left is all these ashes_

_Where does the love go?  
I don't know  
When it's all said and done  
How could I be loosing you forever?  
After all the time we spent together  
I have to know why I had to lose you  
Now you just become, like everything I'll never find again  
At the bottom of the ocean_

Tears were flowing down my cheeks.

_In a dream you appeared  
For a while you were here  
So I keep sleeping  
Just to keep you with me_

_I'll draw a map  
Connect the dots  
With all the memories that I got  
What I'm missing, I'll keep reliving_

_Where does the love go?  
I don't know  
When it's all said and done  
How could I be losing you forever?  
After all the time we spent together  
I have to know why I had to lose you  
Now you just become like everything I'll never find again  
At the bottom of the ocean_

_This is it_

_Let go_

_Breathe *Whispered*  
_

_You don't have to love me for me to, baby, ever understand  
Just know I love the time that we both had  
And I don't ever wanna see you sad  
Be happy_

_'Cause I don't wanna hold you if you don't wanna tell me you love,  
Just know I'm gonna have to walk away  
I'll be big enough for both of us to say: 'Be happy'_

_Do do do, Do do do do, (Be happy)_

_Mmmmm_

_Be happy_

"Oh Bella, that was beautiful!" Angela squealed. What was totally, completely, absolutely, utterly unexpected was: "You know, my uncle, he has record label right here in Seattle. He would be delighted to have such a talented in his label and I'm sure you'd love it. Do you want me to call him?"

"Sure, I guess." She got her phone and dialed.

"Hey Uncle Arthur!..... Yeah, I'm ok.... Um, yes, everything's fine with Ben...... Well, um, see, my friend Bella, I just discovered she can write her own songs, sing them and play them on a guitar...... Yeah..... Um, she has pale skin, chocolate brown eyes, chestnut hair, um, not tall like me, but not short like Jessica Stanley, you know, that gossip? So Bella's maybe like a 5'4" or 5'3" and she's smart.... Let me ask her..." She turned to me. "What are you doing tomorrow? Do you think you can come down to Seattle to show him a few of your songs?"

"I'll probably clean the house, so yeah, I can go." She smiled.

"How many songs have you written?"

"Um, about 20, or so, I think... They're all pretty much about the same thing, but they're all different at the same time." It was true; some were more pop than rock, while others were rock and then others sounded like pop and country mixed together.

She nodded and turned back to the phone. "She can go down tomorrow and she's written like 20 songs. She says they're all different...... Ok, yeah, I'll tell them. Love you. Thanks! Bye!" She hung up and looked at me excitedly.

"You are gonna come down with me to show them your song and play them, then if all or most of the guys like it, then you record them and do a photo shoot and then you release a single. I am so excited and happy for you! Are you done?" She said this all very fast.

"Yes, sheesh. You talk so fast, you sound like Al---" I stopped myself before it got too out of hand and flinched. "Um, anyway, yeah, I'm done. Why?"

"Um, we could pick out the songs you're gonna use and your outfit. And you could show me a few others." She looked very excited, and despite the hole in my chest, and my feelings, I want to do this, so I will do it.

"Sure." We cleaned up and walked downstairs and into the downpour and got to my house. There, we ditched our books on my floor and I got my keyboard and acoustic guitar and all my sheets of music.

"I have a bunch of songs, but I'll take like 15 or so." I started playing _See You Again_:

_I've got my sight set on you  
And I'm ready to aim  
__I have a heart that will  
Never be tamed  
I knew you were something special  
When you spoke my name  
Now I can't wait to see you again_

_I've got a way of knowing  
When something is right  
I feel like I must've known you  
In another life  
'Cause I felt this deep connection  
When you looked in my eyes  
Now I can't wait to see you again_

_The last time I freaked out  
I just kept looking down  
I st-st-stuttered when you asked me  
What I'm thinking about  
Felt like I couldn't breathe  
You ask what's wrong with me  
My best friend Angie said:  
"Oh, she's just being Bellsy!"  
The next time we hang out  
I will redeem myself  
My heart, it can't rest till then  
Ooh, Oh, Oh, I  
__I can't wait  
To see you again_

_I got this crazy feeling  
Deep inside  
When you called and asked to see me  
Tomorrow night  
I'm not a mind-reader  
But I'm reading the signs  
That you can't wait to see me again_

_The last time I freaked out  
I just kept looking down  
I st-st-stuttered when you asked me  
What I'm thinking about  
Felt like I couldn't breathe  
You ask what's wrong with me  
My best friend Angie said:  
"Oh, she's just being Bellsy!"  
The next time we hang out  
I will redeem myself  
My heart, it can't rest till then  
Ooh, Oh, Oh, I  
__I can't wait  
To see you again_

_I got my sight set on you  
And I'm ready to aim_

_The last time I freaked out  
I just kept looking down  
I st-st-stuttered when you asked me  
What I'm thinking about  
Felt like I couldn't breathe  
You asked what's wrong with me  
My best friend Angie said:  
"Oh, she's just being Bellsy!"  
The next time we hang out  
I will redeem myself  
My heart, it can't rest till then  
Ooh, Oh, Oh, I, I  
I can't wait  
To see you again_

_See you again_

_Whoa, I, I can't wait to see you again_

"Bella, you freaking rock!" Angela came and hugged me, then drew back and smiled. "Let's pick the songs we're going to use."

We got my sheets and ended up with my favorites, which made me very happy. Then she walked over to my closet and looked over everything. She dragged out my darkish skinny jeans, the deep blue blouse _he'd_ complimented a bunch of times, and a stretchy white tank top to go under it. "What do you think?"

Well, it was his favorite shirt, and it would remind me very, very, _very_ much of him, and that would hurt. But maybe it was a good luck sign. Maybe... Maybe it would give me strength and confidence. I thought about it and came to a conclusion. "Yes, it's perfect. I'll wear it with the worn-out black Converse to show my down-to-Earth-ness." We laughed and then she asked me to play another song.

"Here's another one: _Forever & Always_

_Once upon a time  
I believe it was a Monday when I caught your eye  
We caught onto something  
I hold on to the night  
You looked me in the eye and told me  
You loved me_

_Were you just kidding?  
'Cause it seems to me  
This thing is breaking down  
We almost never speak  
I don't feel welcome anymore_

_Baby what happened?  
Please tell me 'cause one second it was perfect  
Now you're halfway out the door_

_And I stare at the phone  
He still hasn't called  
And then you feel so low  
You can't feel nothing at all  
And you flashback to when he said  
Forever and always_

_And it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always_

_Was I out of line?  
Did I say something way too honest?  
Made you run and hide  
Like a scared little boy  
I looked into your eyes  
Thought I knew you for a minute  
Now I'm not so sure_

_So here's to everything  
Coming down to nothing  
Here's to silence  
It cuts me to the core  
Where is this going?  
Thought I knew you for a minute  
But I don't anymore_

_And I stare at the phone  
He still hasn't called  
And then you feel so low  
You can't feel nothing at all  
And you flashback to when he said  
Forever and always_

_And it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always_

_You didn't mean it baby  
I don't think so_

_Oh, oh, oh, __Oh, oh oh_

_Oh, oh, oh, __Oh, oh oh_

_Back up, baby back up__  
Did you forget everything?_

_Back up, baby back up  
Did you forget everything?_

_Back up, please back up!_

_'Cause it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always_

_And I stare at the phone  
He still hasn't called  
And then you feel so low  
You can't feel nothing at all  
And you flashback to when we said  
Forever and always_

_'Cause it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always  
You didn't mean it, baby_

_You said forever and always, yeah_

"When was that?" Angela asked when I was done removing tears from my cheeks.

"You remember the few days before---" She nodded before I said anything, as though she understood. "Well, it got real quiet. Like he was avoiding talking to me. And then that was how it felt. The pain. It was the worst thing. I couldn't feel much except the pain, or the numbness, so I decided nothingness over pain. I'm just sort of glad music helped me through it."

After she saw most of my songs were either about falling in love, or breaking up, and how it feels, she didn't ask me to play them. I wanted to play _Distracted_, but she said she had to go. I drove her home and she told me to be at her house at ten so we could get to Seattle in time.

..........

It was eight in the morning and I was getting ready for my audition with Angela's uncle's record label. I took a shower and curled my hair, then put on my clothes and went all-natural. No make up. After that, I got an over-the-shoulder bag and I put my sheets in there, some gum, a few chocolates and my battered old wallet. I checked the weather and decided it was best to take my coat just in case. It was fifteen minutes to ten and I called Angela. She picked up after three rings.

"Hello?"

"It's me, Bella." I was so anxious my voice didn't even sound right.

"Oh, hey. Are you ready? My mom's gonna drive me to your place instead, because she has to take the boys to a birthday party. We're leaving in---" Someone in the backround yelled. "Now. I'll see you in a few. Don't forget to take your guitar. The have a keyboard there, though, so you don't need to worry about that."

"Ok, later, then." I hung up and tried to get my mind off what would happen if the record label people liked my songs, because if they didn't, I'd be very disappointed, and trust me, I knew a whole lot about disappointment. I mulled over that while absently picking at my cereal. But what if they _did_ like my songs? And my voice singing them? Would I be a big success, like Taylor Swift? Or would I be one of those stupid one-hit wonders?

I saw Angela's car before I heard her knock. Of course she would knock. She wasn't rude.

I opened the door and she smiled at me, the said: "We should get going. Are you ready?"

I nodded, got my bag and guitar and we got in my decrepit truck. I wondered briefly if it was up for the job, then decided it didn't matter. We drove in silence, until she asked why I wrote _Bottom Of The Ocean_.

"Um, well, the song is pretty much about someone you love, but for some reason they don't love you anymore, but you still do, and you want them to b happy, even if it hurts you. The song is about where I'm at. I want him to be happy, and if where I am is not where he's happy, he can go. Nothing will ever change how I feel, but this is an outlet. It doesn't have to be about losing love, though. It can be about losing a relative or something. I wrote it when I was at the very peak of my pain. I'm still there, but it's dulled down a bit. I can't really say the pain will be gone with time, because it probably won't, but I can say I'm learning to live with the loss."

"Whoa Bella, that's deep," she said. "Ooh, look! We're here!"

I looked aroung and saw a big building with a sign at the top that read 'RED MARK RECORDS' in obviously red letters. Had the ride gone by that fast? We'd been silent for _quite_ some time, then. I parked and we got out, then Angela led me all the way to her uncle's office. She knocked on a glass door at the end of a corridor that had big red letters marking it: 'BIG BOSS. MR. WEBBER'.

"Come in," said a stern voice.

Angela opened the door.

WOW, the inside of the office was so freaking flashy I won't take the time to explain it.

"Oh, ANgela, it's great to see you!" A man with Angela's height, dark hair, glasses and blue eyes got up from behind the chair and hugged her. The he turned to me. "You must be Bella, right?"

"Yes, sir." He shook my hand and asked me to sit down in a very comfortable-looking chair.

"Bella, from what Angela told me on the phone yesterday, you have a great singing voice and you can write your own songs and play them. What you are going to do here today is simply play us a few songs. Since it's early, we'll call you after lunch and tell you what we want with you. If you get chosen to represent our label, then you record some songs and get a photo shoot, then we send out a single and see what happens. The hard part is getting to see which song you want as your first song ever. Then wheat instruments and special effects you want on it." He smiled. "Now if you would please follow me, we'll go to the conference room and you'll play a few songs. Angie here can come too, if you like."

"I owe her! Of course she can come!" We jumped up and went down the hall, then into another room. This one looked more proffessional, and the people in the bussiness suits was a nice touch.

"Everyone, this is Bella. She'll play a few songs and then we've got until after lunch to decide what to do," Angela's uncle said. He sat at the head of the table and only then did I notice the chair next to me. I got out my guitar and the sheet for _Until You're Mine_, and began playing.

_My state of mind has finally got the best of me  
I need you next to me  
I'll try to find  
A way that I can get to you  
Just wanna get to you_

_The world I see is perfect now  
You're all around  
With you I can breathe_

_Until you're mine  
I had to find  
A way to fill this whole inside  
I can't survive without you here by my side  
Until you're mine  
Not gonna be  
Even close to complete  
I won't rest until you're mine_

_Mine_

_Alone inside I can only hear your voice  
Ringing through the noise  
I can't find my mind  
It keeps on coming back to you  
Always back to you_

_Wanted something out of reach  
It's me  
You're all I see_

___Until you're mine  
I had to find  
A way to fill this whole inside  
I can't survive without you here by my side  
Until you're mine  
Not gonna be  
Even close to complete  
I won't rest until you're mine_

_Mine_

_Just stop wondering  
If we were meant to be  
Forget about fate and just hold me_

_I'm ready to begin  
The waiting has to end_

_Right now! Today! I've gotta find a way! Yeah!_

_Mine_

_Until you're mine _

_UNTIL YOU'RE MINE!_

___Until you're mine  
I had to find  
A way to fill this whole inside  
I can't survive without you here by my side  
Until you're mine  
Not gonna be  
Even close to complete  
I won't rest until you're mine_

_My state of mind has finally got the best of me  
I need you next to me_

I finished with tears in my eyes while everyone clapped. "How many do I have to play?"

"How many do you have?" Asked a sweet-looking lady in a gray suit with blond hair and golden colored eyes. That brought a flashback, but I answered through the lump in my throat.

"Um, about seventeen or so." I shrugged.

"As many as you want, then."

I played _Forever & Always_, then _Bottom of the Ocean,_ then I started strumming my latest: _Crazier_

_I'd never gone with the wind  
Just let it flow  
Let it take me where it wants to go  
Till you opened the door  
There's so much more  
I'd never seen it before_

_I was trying to fly  
But I couldn't find wings  
But you came along  
And you changed everything_

_You lift my feet off the ground  
You spin me around  
You make me crazier, crazier  
Feels like I'm falling  
And I, I'm lost in your eyes  
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier_

_I watched from a distance as you  
Made life your own  
Every sky was your own kinda blue  
And I wanted to know  
How that would feel  
And you made it so real_

_You showed me something that  
I couldn't see  
You opened my eyes  
And you made me believe_

_You lift my feet off the ground  
You spin me around  
You make me crazier, crazier  
Feels like I'm falling  
And I, I'm lost in your eyes  
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier_

_Oh_

_Baby, you showed me what living is for  
I don't wanna hide anymore_

_You lift my feet off the ground  
You spin me around  
You make me crazier, crazier  
Feels like I'm falling  
And I, I'm lost in your eyes  
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier_

_Crazier, crazier_

Once again, everyone clapped. I played _East Northumberlan High_:

_My problem isn't that I miss you  
'Cause I don't  
My problem isn't that I kissed you  
Oh oh oh oh_

_I figured out  
That you're nothing  
But a thought you're about  
You're just caught in a place  
That some time will erase in my heart _

_You're my type of guy  
I guess if you were stuck in  
East Northumberland High  
For the rest of my life  
But people change  
Thank God I did  
Just because I liked you back then  
It doesn't mean I like you now  
Just because I liked you back then  
It doesn't mean I like you_

_Your problem's not full lack of trying  
'Cause you do  
It's just that you're at your best when you're lying  
Oh oh oh oh_

_Now you're standing here  
And saying things and things I wanted to hear  
But you've got it all wrong  
I've already moved on  
My dear_

___You're my type of guy  
I guess if you were stuck in  
East Northumberland High  
For the rest of my life  
But people change  
Thank God I did  
Just because I liked you back then  
It doesn't mean I like you now  
Just because I liked you back then  
It doesn't mean I like you_

_When you're standing near me  
I can't see so clearly  
The feelings are still palpable  
__But when I take two steps away  
And shed some light on my day_

_Yeah, you can't go back  
It's all in the past  
Guess you gotta laugh at it_

_____You're my type of guy  
I guess if you were stuck in  
East Northumberland High  
For the rest of my life  
But people change  
Thank God I did  
And if there's some confusion  
Let me tell you  
You're just delusional  
Get a clue 'cause people change  
Thank God I did  
(Thank God I did)_

_Yeah, just because I liked you back then  
It doesn't mean I like you now  
Just because I like you back then  
It doesn't mean I like  
Doesn't mean I like you  
Just because I liked you back then  
It doesn't mean I like you now_

This time around, even though they clapped, they were a bit confused.

"It's not how I feel. It's how he wants me to feel. He wants me to get over him. This song is just a fake. I wrote it to please him, even though he'll probably never even hear it. It's what he would want to hear, though," I clarified. Their expressions cleared.

I played _Chemicals React, Cold As You, The Outside, See You Again, Quiet, One In A Million, A Perfectly Good Heart, Distracted, Breathe, _and then _Don't Forget_. Then my stomach grumbled as I was about to say my fingers were about to bleed.

"Oh, yes. It's late," a lady with dark hair and big green eyes behind thick lenses said. "Why don't we all go to lunch together? We can disscuss what we'll do there." She looked at all her seven other partners and said: "We're keeping her, aren't we?"

Everyone said yes and we went to lunch to disscuss what I would do.

SO many questions: What name would I be under? What category in music would I be? What would be my first single? How would I be introduced? Would I be a success? Would they be able to make me a success?

All of those--- or most of them, anyway,--- would be answered, and then I'll go into the recording studio. I could hardly wait!


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry I've taken so long. I'm writing a Twilight skit, more stories, plus a bunch of other homework, but I'm going on vacation so I'll have more time. (Eighth grade sucks!) Thank you so very much for all the support and reviews. Please note that even though I've read a few stories like this one, (Edward leaves, Bella releases a single and becomes a huge success, etc.), I made my own plot. I think it's original, and I hope you do, too. Here's chapter 2:**

* * *

**BPOV:**

During lunch, Brianna, the lady with dark hair and green eyes, was talking about what we should do for the photo shoot. Everyone agreed I should wear something deep blue, because the color looked so great on me, and that I should be as natural as possible. I agreed, but after Nicole, the lady with golden eyes, said I should be wearing a sundress in the pouring rain, I said: "I like the pouring rain concept, but please don't make me wear a dress. I'm more the type that wears jeans and Converse rather than a skirt any day." They all nodded and started talking about who would be my band and how they had 'The Jeany' on hold. I asked what that was.

"Well, they are four boys about your age who are a band for a singer like you. You can do a few songs with them to see if you like them, if you want. Then you can record your favorite songs and we can pick one and talk about your clothes for the cover. We want it to be something symbolic. You know what I mean?" Brad, a guy in a navy blue suit was telling me. I nodded.

After we finished lunch, we went back to the studio and while the guys went to the the band, the s went into a room and told me they were going to measure me, to know what sizes to get me when we decided on clothes. I wondered why I couldn't just go to a store and just buy what I would wear, but I knew enough about this bussiness to be naive enough to ask. Angela was about to protest about how stupid the whole thing was, when there was a mall down the street, but I just blushed and whined at her to please shut up. Then Brandy, another lady, laughed and said when you were professional, you weren't supposed to fit into things--- they were supposed to fit _you_.

They checked my height and weight, then we went into a studio, where they told me to sing my three favorite songs they way I wanted them to sound with the vocals. I picked _Forever & Always, Bottom of the Ocean, _and_ One in a Million_. I sang them the way I wanted them, and by then it was four. I used Brandy's phone to call Charlie and took Mr. Webber on on his offer to have dinner with my father to talk about my contract. Dad said yes and we were to meet at the Pizza Hut down the block at seven thirty, because thanks to those bears that were causing in the woods, Dad had to work overtime to check if there had been any reports before leaving.

After calling Dad, I went over some ideas for the cover. It had to be artistic, and I didn't have much of an imagination, but I got a great idea. A darkish cover. I'm wearing a deep-blue dress just above my knees and high heels. My shoulders are slumped from the cold. It's raining. The dress is sleeveless. I'm under an umbrella and it's dark out. It looks like twilight. Over my head in blue letters it says: 'Bottom of the Ocean'. I shared the idea with Britny, the idealist and she loved it. She was jumping up and down like a seven-year-old who's being told she's going to a Hannah Montana concert. She sketched it and it turned out beautiful. Then it was time to go.

**(Sorry there are so many after's, I'm just reading another story, and while I stop a bit there, I write a bit here. Sorry! Later! Continue reading, please.)**

I went in Mr. Webber's car with Ang to Pizza Hut, and we saw Dad's cruiser in the parking lot. We got out and went inside, and saw him sitting in the little sitting area. He got off his lazy backside, (just a joke), and introduced himself, then shook hands with Mr. Webber and Angela. Mr. Webber talked to the waitress who I distantly recognized and we were seated. She had fake blond hair and suddenly I recalled a different place, with a different person, almost a year ago. No, NO, _NO_!!!! Did it have to be the same that was flirting with Ed--- with him when he saved me from those rapists? Why? Is it because since I've been so happy today I should feel some of the past come back with some misery? Is that it? Karma is a really bad person. It's really irritable, too.

So the chick, Patricha apparently, got our orders and then Mr. Webber was looking intently at me, then Charlie.

"Mr. Swan, your daughter is a talented, talented . She's beautiful, she's smart, she's funny, and she could accomplish a lot if she set her mind to it." _Got that right. I left the zombie stage, didn't I? _I though. "We have talked to her a lot and I truly believe she can do what she sets her mind to. I think what her mind is on now is focusing on her music, and she can do that with my label. I think she could go far, and with a few regulated things that you could help me with, this could be a good, healthy thing for her. I don't want her to end up like Lindsay Lohan, who started out so squeaky clean and now she's just... I don't want to trash her, but any news about her is never good news. I don't think Bella will _ever_ end up like that. So, if this is what Bella wants, then we all sign and get working. I really think this is gonna work."

Dad nodded and the s started talking about my contract. Well, that should turn out pretty well, considering my father knows _so much_ about business. Hey, look at me, I'm actually developing a sense of humor like a normal kid.

They signed and not long after Dad and Mr. Webber shook hands, Dad and I were in his car, (Angela riding my truck to her house), and Dad was asking me if this was what I wanted.

"Dad, I know you're worried, but senior year is a few months from being over, and after that, what else is there? I go to college, then I try and get a job and do that for the rest of my life? I don't like monotony, and if this works, then nothing will be monotonous. I'm going to take college courses online, and I'm going to try to be the best, because you know I don't like improper things. Dad, this is what I want right now. Thanks for agreeing. It means a lot to me. I love you. I can do this, right?" I finished my mini-speech in an undefinitive tone, so that I wouldn't sound rude.

"Sure, then, Bells. But you gotta know that this business is really harsh. If they don't want you to do something, they let you down easy, but you wanted it so much that you're heartbroken and dumbstruck. Honey, I love you, and I don't want that to happen to you. Plus, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan are great examples of what happens when you go crazy with fame. It's like: Fame+Money+Teenagers= Disaster. I don't want you to be that . If you even go to the smallest craziness, you're done. Got it?" I nodded. "Good. Now let's go home. It's late."

We were already halfway home, so we were quiet. I thought of an idea for a video for _Bottom of the Ocean, _until Dad suddenly said: "Oh, Bells, I almost forgot. Mr. Webber wants you to be at the studio tomorrow by nine in the morning. You don't have school tomorrow, so it's ok. And also, Angela wanted to go with you. When we get home can you call her to answer?"

I nodded and wondered briefly what I would wear, but then decided it didn't really matter. Because they already knew I was a simple person. SO when we got home, I called Angela and told her she could come with me--- and she squeaked so hard I think I heard it in my house, and she lives several miles away. After that, I took a shower and picked out a purple V-neck long sleeve shirt that had a black bow around the back, with the jeans I wore today, and the ever-present, worn-out Converse. Then I went to bed after a hundred pages of bed time reading. The book was Harry Potter One. I liked it for bed time reading because it's very fluid, and I love the innocence of Harry's thoughts.

The next morning was foggy, so I got my big coat, even though I was positive it would be sunny in Seattle. I showered and put my clothes on, then put on some Chapstick and eyeliner, then ate breakfast fast and called Angela.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" I asked after she picked up.

"Yeah, I guess. I just need to tie my shoe. I'll see you in a few minutes, 'cause I know you're in your car, rounding the corner on your street," she said.

"You know me so well. See you." I hung up.

Seven minutes later Angela was in the truck, and we were well on our way. There I told her about my idea for the video, and she said it was pretty cool, and that Britny would love it. Then we talk about inanimate hings, and somehow the topic changed from our History paper to how her relationship with Ben was, and somehow she ended up asking how bad it was. That changed my mood completely.

"What do you mean, how bad it was?" I asked irritably.

"I mean, how bad was it when he left you? I know it's not my territory, and you could call it snooping and being nosy, but you need to let this out. Please tell me, Izzy."

"Izzy?" I asked, completely taken aback by the name.

"I thought it might be a cool name for you. Do you like it?" She sounded hopeful. I felt sorry I had to crush her hope, but I hated that name.

"Sorry, I don't like it. Just call me Bells, or Bella, or Bellsy."

"Oh, ok." She composed herself and asked in a tiny voice: "Can you tell me about it?"

I put as much venom in my voice as possible. "No."

I didn't want to upset Angela, but really, this was not any of her business. I mean, HELLO! She's asking me about one of the most painful moments of my life. It hurt to even think about thinking about thinking about it. This was not something I wanted to disscuss, ever. I mean, it wasn't that I wasn't ready to talk about it, because I never would be, it was that no one would ever understand. When you talk to Dr. Laura about a break-up, if you're not completely honest she can't help you. Icouldn't be honest to anybody. I mean, who would believe that my vampire boyfriend left after his adoptive brother tried to kill me because I was bleeding? Ouch. See? Even that hurt. So, yeah. I turned to Angela, (I had stopped at a red light).

"Sorry, I'm just... I-- I just can't. Sorry. Ok?" I said apollogetically. She smiled sadly at me.

"It's fine, I guess. Turn!" She screamed suddenly. I'd continued straight and missed the exit.

"Crap. Oh, well. I'll take the next one, then." I made a mental note to never ever talk about hard stuff while driving to a meeting. "You know what, I think I do. Ok, this is like, really painful, so please don't make me stop. I'll tell you when we get there. I need to concentrate." I was going to tell . her. I needed to let this out. She nodded.

Fifteen minutes later, I was parking, and getting ready to tell her. I took a deep breath.

"Ok, after my birthday, we didnt talk much, and I didn't see Alice either, so I couldn't ask her what was wrong, and he had a sort of dead expression, kind of. His eyes had gone all cold, and he didn't smile. Then, on the third day, after school, he came home with me and we walked a bit into the forest. Then he said 'we' were leaving. He meant his family and himself. I begged him to take me, too, but he said no. He said I didn't belong in his world. I said I was going and he said-- he said he didn't want me to go. He said he didn't want me. Then he kissed my forehead and walked away." I had tears down my face. It hurt so much. I was trembling.

"Oh, my. Wow. Oh. Bella, I'm sorry." She hugged me. The comfort felt good.

We walked in and sat down. I had no idea what we were gonna do today, or if I was up for it. All I knew was that he was out there somewhere, enjoying his distractions, and I was here, crying over him. He would never know, or care. That hurt worst of all, except knowing all the love and trust and everything was a lie. That hurts worst of all, and it would hurt forever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, here's the next chapter:

* * *

**

**BPOV:**

Angela let me cry on her shoulder. For fifteen minutes. The whole was not getting better, on the contrary, it hurt a bit more than the last time I thought about hi-- it. And that was two months ago, when I wrote '_Bottom Of The Ocean_'. After the tears went away and my body stopped shaking with suppressed sobs, she gently let go of me. Then she reminded me why we were in the building in the first place: To meet up with the, um, what are they called again? Well, whoever they are, we were meeting up with them.

"We have to go to my uncle's office. He's gonna tell us what you're doing today. Hey! Maybe we're meeting your new band! That would be so cool!" She said excitedly.

I wiped my face and sniffed. "Ok, let's go." I looked at my watch. "Oh, crap! We're so late. I was supposed to report there at nine and it's almost nine thirty! We gotta run!" And we set off. We ran up the stairs, and down three different hallways, until finally, though panting slightly, we were in front of his door and ringing his doorbell.

"Come in." We entered timidly. "You're late, Bella. Almost half an hour late. This happens again and we're gonna have a problem. Is that clear?" He had his back to us, and his tone was grave.

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry. I was very upset, and I missed the exit and I lost track of time. Sorry." The words sounded more confident than I felt. They were true, but I didn't want to admit I'd been crying my eyes out over the boy that left four months ago. I didn't want to look unstable, because I'm not... most of the time, anyway.

"Uncle Arthur, it's my fault. I got her upset and then I pointed out the exit too late, and we got here in time, but she was crying... I'm sorry!" Angela said breathlessly.

"Alright, but Bella, you've had four young men waiting. You are going to meet The Jeany. They are your band, if you want. They are in the studio, waiting for you, listening to the recordings from yesterday."

"Really? Well, I should go then, right?" I was still breathing heavily, and the thought of meeting four boys who would make my music actually music didn't help the no-hyperventilation strategy. Mr. Webber nodded, and we made our way to the studio.

Once there, I opened the door a bit and I could hear the recording of me singing '_Forever & Always_'. I was by the bridge. Now I was pretty much screaming the chorus. I cleared my throat and four boys turned.

One was blond with gray eyes. He was fair-skinned and he was maybe 5'9", and he had his fair share of was wearing dark-ish jeans, a gray print T-shirt and slip-on Vans. Another had dark skin, eyes and hair, and he was a bit shorter than the first one, and he wasn't as bulky. He was wearing jeans, a black T-shirt and brand-new gray Converse. The third had blond hair, green eyes, tanned skin and he was quite tall. He was wearing a light blue T-shirt with a dark bright blue hoodie half open over it, jeans and black Converse almost as worn out as mine. The last one had brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin and he was about three inches taller than me. He was wearing a polo, jeans and Converse. They all looked nice enough to me. At least they weren't Goth. That would've sucked.

"Guys, this is Bella. She's the singer." I blushed as Mr. Webber said that. I smiled as realization hit their faces.

"Hi," I said in a voice that sounded weak even to me. Angela was the only one who knew why. The rest probably thought I was nervous meeting them. And I have to admit I kind of am.

"Bella, these are Mark,"-- blond with gray eyes-- "Joey,"-- the dark dude-- "Nick,"--tanned blond with green eyes-- "and Jake,"-- brown haired guy. "They are The Jeany, and they want to be your band. Is that ok?"

"Um, you're asking me if I want them to be my band?" Mr. Webber nodded. "Well, I--"

Jake cut me off. "First, you should hear us play. I mean, you don't want to hire someone, then not like them. We heard your songs and we read through a few of your sheets and I think I speak for everyone when I say we would love to work with you." All the other guys nodded. That is so sweet.

"Uh, so do you have any music you made?" I asked.

"Nah, we were gonna play '_Jump Then Fall_' by Taylor Swift. It's a nice song. Do you know it?" I nodded. "Sing it with us if you want. We can go and record it. We have all are crap here." So Joey was referring to musical instruments as 'crap'? Not nice. I gave him 'the Look'. He shuddered slightly. Nevertheless, I nodded and they got their stuff from who knows where and we went into the studio. They had a keyboard, a guitar, drums and a base guitar.

The music started:

_I like the way you sound in the morning  
We're on the phone and without a warning  
I realize your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard_

_I like the way I can't keep my focus  
I watch you talk you didn't notice  
I hear the words but all I can think is  
'We should be together'_

_Every time you smile, I smile  
And every time you shine, I'll shine for you_

_Whoa, I'm feeling you baby  
Don't be afraid to jump then fall  
Jump then fall into me  
Baby, I'm never gonna leave you  
Say that you wanna be with me, too  
Cause I'm gonna stay through it all  
So jump then fall_

_Well, I like the way your hair falls in your face  
You got the keys to me, I love each freckle on your face, oh  
I've never been so wrapped up,  
Honey, I like they way you're everything I ever wanted_

_I had time to think it over  
And all I can say is 'Come closer'  
Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me_

_Every time you smile, I smile  
And every time you shine, I'll shine for you_

And we finished the song... **(Sorry, but it's too long and I've typed A LOT today, so please spare me hate mail saying that's not the whole song, because trust me, I know that.) **

"You guys are really good," I said to the guys as we finished.

"Us? You are an amazing singer." More compliments from Jake.

I blushed. "Thanks. So, anyway. I like the sound of that. I like your edgy yet somehow cool and smooth and somehow pop-country-ish sound. That's kind of how most of my stuff sounds. Or how I want it to sound, anyway. So, yeah, I like you guys as a band, but what's with the name?" I didn't want to sound picky or hypocritical, but I have an aversion to the word 'Jeany' nobody, not even _him_, knows about.

"We threw around a whole bunch of names, and nobody liked any of them, and my sister, Katy, came up with it and it was so far the best. We're open to suggestions, though, because most of us hate it too," said Mark.

"Um, well, actually, Bella's father stated in the contract that she would be a single-named star, like Demi Lovato. Not Bella Swan and the Jeany. Sorry guys. Shoulda told you that before. My fault," Mr. Webber said.

I blushed again. Curse Dad, but still, I liked Dad's idea better. It's a shorter name, and I really don't like the name 'The Jeany'.

"Ah, that's cool. Much better than being known for such a lame name." All the guys laughed. Jake kept looking at me. A lot.

After working out the better parts of the recorded songs we had an actual song put together by lunch time. It was actually pretty good. We did '_Bottom of the Ocean_' and I added the sound of waves, and it was really good. Then, after lunch, we did '_One in a Million_'. I added a little piano, and it sounded really nice and sweet. When the guys wanted to do '_Forever & Always_', I said I wanted it to be a piano song. I got my piano and played it and with the keys and sounds, plus the almost-tangible pain in my voice, it sounded sad, yet somehow angry and sweet at the same time. By then it was getting dark outside. Dad came around and we showed him the songs, and he said: "Bells, I know you're really into this now. You're doing your best, and I trust you. This is really good." Then he turned to the guys and said: "I know positively nothing about music, but I can tell you guys are very talented, and I know you won't make my daughter look bad, _right_?" He gave them his best Chief look and then smiled.

"Bells, Angela, do you guys wanna go to Longhorn? My treat," Dad offered.

I looked at Angela. She smiled. "Sure, Dad, of course."

Dad turned reluctantly toward Mark, Joey, Nick and Jake. "Do you guys want to come, too?"

Joey answered. "Nah, we're crashing at Mark's tonight. His mom's making Chinese. Maybe some other time." He looked careless about this, but Nick and Jake looked quite sad that Joey had brought it up, and Mark looked surprised, as though this was all news to him.

"Ok, then. Well, I have school tomorrow, so I'll see you next meeting. Later," I said. I smiled and waved, then got my bag and walked out the door with Ang and Dad.

We had an uneventful dinner, until Dad said: "So, Bella. Mr. Webber called around a quarter to ten this morning. Said you'd been upset. Wanted to know if I knew something. I don't, so I said no, then he hung up. Bella, is something wrong?"

"Dad, I'm fine. I just had a... um..." I looked desperately at Angela.

"We saw a truck run over a deer and it kind of affected her. I mean, we saw the poor thing die, for crying out loud. Then we were already sort of late, and she missed the exit, which made her cry harder. We finally got there, but I thought she was too traumatized to go, so I waited for her to calm down, and then we went to Uncle Arthur's office. Nothing's seriously wrong, Chief," Angela said sincerely. She covered up pretty well.

Dad nodded, though a bit surprised, and we continued eating. After dinner, we dropped Angela off and I told her I'd see her at school the next day. Then we went home.

"Bella, those guys, are they nice? Are they fine young men? Or are they cursing, and being improper?" Dad asked.

"Dad, they were so nice to me. They were not improper and they were nice as far as I could tell," I sighed.

I was almost ready for bed when he came in and said: "Uh, Bella? I almost forgot. Mr. Webber wants you in the studio after school tomorrow, and this time, Angela can't go. Sorry, kiddo. So, yeah. Goodnight."

Nice. Well, at least I have something to look forward to now.

School dragged. I hate it when it does that. It always does that. So, yeah. Anyway, I was wearing a brown sweater with pink and fusia accents, my usual jeans and Converse, but I had a lighter blue tank top and a cardigan for when I went to the studio. I stowed the stuff in my locker and went to my first class, where I had Angela. She smiled at me as I took my seat and I forced a smile back, because I knew I couldn't tell her that I was going to the studio, because she couldn't go with me.

After class, Angela was walking with me to our next class, and she whispered: "Are you going today? To the studio, I mean."

I really, really, _really_, suck at lying, but I didn't want to hurt Angela. I opened my mouth to spout a lie as we entered the classroom, but the bell rung. Saved by the bell, how cliché. So we got through the class, me totally spaced out, and I was trying to decide what to tell Angela. Should I crush her with the truth or spout a lie that might (and let's face it, will catch up with me, probably) catch up with me? By the end of the lesson, I decided the truth: "Um, yeah, I'm going..."

"Oh, great, well, I have Computer Apps next, so see ya at lunch!" She said cheerfully.

Ok, well, that went well. The rest of the school day was monotonous. Then I was driving to Seattle, with the radio on. A song came on: _When You Look Me In the Eyes_

_If the heart is always searching  
Can you ever find a home  
I've been looking for that someone  
I'll never make it on my own  
Dreams can't take the place of loving you  
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true_

_When you look me in the eyes  
And tell me that you love me  
Everything's alright  
When you're right here by my side  
When you look me in the eyes  
I catch a glimpse of heaven  
I find my paradise  
When you look me in the eyes_

_How long will I be waiting  
To be with you again  
I'm gonna tell you that I love you  
In the best way that I can  
I can't take a day without you here  
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear_

_When you look me in the eyes  
And tell me that you love me  
Everything's alright  
When you're right here by my side  
When you look me in the eyes  
I catch a glimpse of heaven  
I find my paradise  
When you look me in the eyes_

_Every day I start to realize  
I can reach my tomorrow  
I can hold my head up high  
And it's all because of you by my side_

_When you look me in the eyes  
And tell me that you love me  
Everything's alright  
When you're right here by my side  
When you look me in the eyes  
I catch a glimpse of heaven  
I find my paradise  
When you look me in the eyes_

_When you look me in the eyes  
And tell me that you love me  
Everything's alright  
When you're right here by my side  
When you look me in the eyes  
I catch a glimpse of heaven  
I find my paradise  
When you look me in the eyes_

Oh, crap. That's how it feels. Or rather, felt. And then he left. Oh my God. Why does the past have to come back and bite my ass when I'm so "happy"? Because I'm not happy, but I'm getting there. I turned the radio off before that new annoying Miley Cyrus song started. You know: _Party In The U.S.A._? I mean, I don't get it.

So I drove in silence to the studio, then I parked and went to the bathroom and changed because I was already hot.

Mr. Webber was waiting for me outside his office. He greeted me and then we walked to the upstairs rooms, while he was saying: "Thanks for not bringing Angela, Bella. I know she helps, but today we need you really focused. We're doing a lot today, and I'm going to excuse you from school tomorrow, because we need you here all day. Today you have to pick what song will be your single, and we're gonna get you fitted into a few things for the shoot. Then the guys are coming later because they are getting fitted, too. Then we're gonna sketch ideas for the video. One of my clients has connections with Taylor Swift, and we're lucky enough that she's in town this week, and she's doing a few shows, and she said you could be one of her opening acts. That way you get noticed, and next week, your single will come out. Is that ok?"

"What time are the gigs?" I asked.

"They're during the afternoon. About at five, because they're not actual paid concerts. They are about three, so it's the rest of this week, counting tomorrow."

"That's cool. I love Taylor Swift. I'd love to sing with her!"

That's on the fun-genda, and so is the shoot, but how do I do it? That's what everyone goes through, I guess. Whatever, all I know is I want to be the best, and I'll do my best to get there.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok, here's the next chapter:

* * *

**

**BPOV:**

I walked through the door and saw a much larger room than any of the ones I had been in. It had a huge, uncovered wall with a paper over it reaching the floor, which was probably for shoots, then it was painted an off white color, and there were chairs, racks with beautiful and obviously expensive dresses and clothes, make up vanities, hair products, lotions, etc. Paradise, for a girlie-girl. There was also a smallish space in the corner with a table, a little recording studio, and some chairs, papers and sketch paper, plus pencils and watercolors.

"This is where we create. Over there's the make up table, with everything you need, the clothes and shoes racks, and the shoot wall. We're going to the record booth. There, you choose your single and we get to sketching the artwork. Come on," Mr. Webber said.

I heard through all the recorded songs and decided to go with _'Bottom Of The Ocean'_. It was the most real song right now, and I liked how the sound of the waves clashed with where I found out what he-- _they _were. Jacob Black had unknowingly told me that they were vampires walking down First Beach, and it was funny that I associated the beach with them leaving. Funny in a sick and twisted kind of way.

Then Britny wanted to sketch the cover. I was wearing a deep blue strapless number that was below my knee by a few inches, **(the link is on my profile. It's another David's Bridal dress, but it's really nice, and it took me a while to find, so please. The dress Bella wears is the same, only the line around the bust is embroidered with very small crystals and the top didn't have a design.)**, high heels, my hair was messed up in curls, and my bangs were down to my eyes, my shoulders were hunched from the cold because it was pouring rain and I was holding an umbrella. It was twilight and I was standing on a lonely street that was pouring rain, and in the distance you could see the guys looking at me. Over my head it said the title of the song in small white letters, and my signature was written in my clumsy scrawl around the title. Britny loved it.

The only difficult thing about it was that my bangs were too long, and Britny didn't want to cut my "beautiful, long, luscious hair". I said bangs wouldn't matter, and they'd make me look cooler and more mysterious. They were the hairy, straight long kind. The ones that hid about half your eyes. Britny agreed in the end, but only when I said we wouldn't do that cover if I didn't get bangs because the look wasn't complete without them.

Then the guys came in and we showed them the work, but I don't think Jake and Nick were listening. Anyway, they liked the song we chose, and they liked the idea for the cover, so we started talking clothes and make up. They didn't have a dress anywhere near what I wanted, so they called a dress store, and we were going later to see. The guys decided they would all wear jeans, T-shirts and Converse, because 1) It was what most of them felt comfortable in and 2) It was significant because it was what I wore. I was going wear these silver heels that would clash with my earrings that had small crystals like the dress, and it had straps around the back so it wouldn't fall off. It was quite pretty, the outfit.

The guys would not wear make up, but I was going for black eyeliner, darkish eyeshadow and cream lips. My bangs would be cutting into my eyes, so you wouldn't actually see much.

By this time it was already almost seven, so we couldn't go to the store or anything, so I asked what I thought was a harmless question: "Mr. Webber, just out of curiosity, why couldn't Angela come today?"

"Well, for one because she distracts Joey, and we need your heads in the game, and two, we needed to keep all the planning confidential, that is until it all comes out to the public."

I nodded and turned to the exit, but Mr. Webber caught my arm and spun me on the spot. "Where are you going?"

"Home?" I said.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. I paid you night in the hotel a few blocks away. You should go home and get your overnight things, but I expect you here by seven thirty tomorrow morning. Got it?" I nodded, he gave me the paper work and all the stuff I needed and went home to get my stuff.

"Hey, Dad." I waved as I went inside. "Um, Mr. Webber wrote me an excusing paper for school tomorrow. He wants me bright and early tomorrow. He paid me a night in that hotel down there. Is that ok?"

"As long as you catch up in school and be responsible and make me some food I'm ok with it. Honestly, Bells, the food here sucks without you," Dad said. He smiled and I got working on some chicken.

While it was cooking, I went upstairs and got a bag out. I put some sweats for bed, clothes for tomorrow, socks, shoes, and an extra pair of sweats in case. Then I put my face wash, my tooth brush, my hair brush, and my shampoo. I put some money, some make up just in case and an over-the-shoulder purple purse. It was pretty big and that was pretty much my bag, so I closed it and went to finish the chicken, plus the baked potatoes and salads I was making. When it was cooked, I served it and as usual, dinner was silent, but this time because Dad was too entranced by my food to say anything.

I was done first, because Dad was chewing slowly, as if by doing that the taste would last longer. I washed my plate and all the supplies I used, then said: "Oh, Mesmerized One, are you going to be done soon? Because I need to go."

Dad stood up and, (thankfully not through a full mouth),said: "Bella, your cooking is great, and I understand you have to go. So, goodbye. Have a nice night and call tomorrow before you go to the studio. And, BE RESPONSIBLE. I love you, honey. Bye," he said. Then he hugged me closer and kissed the top of my head. He let go and smiled, then I turned, got my bag, and left. Dad was still smiling as he watched me close the door.

I drove to the hotel and asked for 'Mr. Webber's for Swan's' resevation, apparently, and to my surprise I got the really expensive suites. You know, those with the big bathroom and jacuzzi's and all that crap that I don't need? Well, at least I got a HUGE bed. I thanked the girl that lead me up here and closed the door. I wanted to call Angela, but something held me back. I needed to tell this to someone. Someone who didn't know. I suddenly recalled that this room had a computer. And I had Alice's old e-mail in my agenda, which was in my bag. Hmm.

**5 Minutes of debating whether or not to e-mail Alice later:**

_Dear Alice,  
I don't know where you are or what you're doing. I know I probably shouldn't be doing this, but here goes. _

_This is something I never told you guys. I can sing, I can play piano and guitar, and I write songs. I was with Angela (Webber) the other day and she found my music and told me her uncle could get me a deal. So we went there the next day and I got myself a deal. I'm working with some guys in a band and we're going to be releasing a single soon. Tomorrow's the shoot for the cover. The song itself is pretty good. So anyway, I also wanted to say that I'm staying in one of those rooms in a hotel where they even have a computer for guests. It's so glamorous, and I'm so... me. So, yeah. I also wanted you to know that I'm not over what happened. miss you guys a lot and I miss HIM a lot. It's like a whole has been punched through my chest. But this joy of finding something that I'm 'good' at and all the interesting things that go with it is, well, not so much fun, just distracting from all the reminders. I will never forget you guys, not even if I die. I seriously think even if I die, (when I die. There's no 'if' about it anymore.), I bet I'll still remember you and the loss I felt when all of you left. _

_P.S. Even if you DO get this you don't have to answer. I'm not exactly expecting a reply, but I can't tell Angela because she'll come rushing over, and the boss said it has to be confidential, and I can't tell Jessica Stanely because she'll be so jealous and angry I'll regret it, or worse, she'll tell everyone. _

_Love, Bella Swan_

I hit 'Send' and hoped for no reply. It would hurt worse if she did reply.

I unpacked and took a shower, dressed for bed and got a book from my bag for bedtime reading. I fell asleep with the lights on and the book open across my face. Thankfully, I had not forgotten to put an alarm.

...........

I woke up to the sound of _'Hot N Cold' _by Katy Perry, which was apparently playing during my alarm. It had just started. I played it while getting ready. Then they played '_Waking Up In Vegas' and 'I Kissed A Girl'_. I like those songs. I was ready by six thirty. My face was make up-free, I was wearing comfty and warm sweats, and my purple bag was full of the stuff I thought I should bring; like make up and my other clothes. I went downstairs to breakfast, but the guy said: "No, Miss Swan, I have specific orders to get your order and bring it up to your room."

"I'm not a bichy airhead. I want to eat like everyone else, allright? Who gave the order, anyway?" I asked**. (See? I sensored the word! This is totally appropriate!)**

"Um, a certain Mr. Webber. You can get your food, but please tell anyone who asks that Harry Grotmun sent your food up." I nodded and went to get my breakfast, which turned out to be a yummy piece of toast with butter, bacon, some scrambled eggs and orange juice. After I was done I went to my car, and as I was unlocking it, I got a text from Britny saying: "hey, good morning. take a cab. we're in for a LONG day. see ya soon."

I grumbled as I put my key in my pocket and walked back to the main entrance. Harry Grotmun came up to me.

"Miss, you've been scheduled in another night, is that ok? Do you need anything?"

"Uh, I really need a cab." He ran off to the nearest phone. Honestly, what is up with that guy? Does he treat everyone like that, or just priority guests? Or just me? I'd hate to think it's the last one. He came back and said one would be here: "...in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1. Let's wait outside. Yes, it's here. Have a nice time, Miss Swan."

I got in the cab and told him where I was going and I made it in time.

Today would be a crazy day, I just knew that. I just hoped that if Alice opened and/or got my e-mail, if she replied, oh, I just hoped I opened it after this crazy day was over.

* * *

**Sorry I keep ending the chapter in cliffies. Really. I just thought the next chapter is too big and exciting to fit here, and I really don't want to cut it in half. Also, yes, I did get the idea that Bella e-mails Alice what's going on from the NM movie. Don't sue me for it! Please! So, yeah. Anyway, please review and tell me if you want this to go faster or if you want to know what I think happens in the process of getting famous. I know things from what I've read from teen magazines and Miley Cyrus' book, but I'm not a star, so I really can't write with experience. And I've never been kissed, in love, or even had a boyfriend, so I don't write from experience. I write from what I think it's like. With the ups and downs. So review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, I feel like I left "Catch Me" in a cliffy-ish moment, so I'm going to try and write this quick. I usually take a few days till a complete chapter is done, because I read-write-read-write, etc., so yeah. Here you go. For the record, I started this story a long time after "Catch Me", and I think I'm going to beat how many chapters the other has now, because I'm so immersed now. Also, I have about 3 pages straight out of New Moon, but I don't own that. Just saying.**

**

* * *

**

**BPOV:**

I was lead by an assistant into the room I'd been in yesterday as soon as my taxi dropped me off. Britny and Briana greeted me and said it was good that I was wearing comfty sweats, because I was in for a LOOOOOOOOOONG make over. No joke, that's exactly how they said it. I showed them what I brought and they were relieved I had _Sephora _eyeliner. Then we had to wait for the hired proffessional stylist. They showed me the dress and heels they'd gotten, and they were just what I'd pictured in my head. Let's see if I could live up to the image I'd painted of myself in it.

About twenty minutes after I arrived, the stylist did. She "marveled" my "flawless, and perfect skin" and my "flowing long locks of chestnut any guy would die for". I was a bit creeped out, to say the least. Then she sat me in a chair and washed my hair with moisturizers and hydrating shampoos and conditioners. After she was done, she sat me up and took a bit of hair from the front and started cutting. The bangs were a bit longer than I expected, but she said after they were blowdried they'd be perfect. Then she dried my hair carefully, and then made the bangs look messy and cute. My hair looked really shiny, and Britny said she liked the straight better than curly for the cover. Then she used a clip to pull my newly cut bangs back and the real torture began.

I can't see what girlie-girls find so amazing about doing their make up. It's just hiding your true self by aplying colors and lines that don't exist. I wasn't going to voice this though, because all three women crowded around me had their faces caked with make up. So I liked the eyeliner, and she outlined my eyes with grays and dark blues, and put a bit of glitter. The upper lid wouldn't be seen, but she brushed it with a nice light gray just in case. She outlined my eyebrows and passed thick mascara down my lashes, but it didn't make them look chunky, just thicker and longer. She applied a light transparent gloss on my lips and released my bangs and positioned them carefully. I opened my eyes so Britny and Briana could see.

"Oh my goodness, she's beautiful. I mean, Bella, it's not that you weren't beautiful before, but... um... I should stop talking now." Briana looked flustered. Britny smiled at me.

Then the stylist said: "Do you want her to have a mani-pedi?" They nodded and I groaned. I was completely ignored. "What color?"

"Bella, what's your favorite color?" Briana asked.

"I don't really have a favorite color. It changes from day to day. It's according to my mood." It was exactly (or at least very close) to what I had told him.

"Ok... what color do you think would fit best?"

"Black."

"Then black it is!" Britny cheered. "You do have black, right?"

"Pish posh, girl, I have every color known to man and some known to dogs and dolphins only!" The stylist sat me down again and made me remove my shoes and socks. She did the whole treatment, you know, the ones they give at really expensive spas? Then she painted my nails oh so carefully. Actually, so carefully you'd think she was trying to recreat the Mona Lisa on my toenails. Then she was done.

"Oooh, Bella, you look so beautiful!" Britny squealed.

"Thanks, but now I have to change into the dress and somehow slip into the heels without injuring myself. Oh, and don't forget jewelery," I said cheerfully.

They nodded and lead me to a dressing room, where they helped me put on the special bra and the dress. Then i came out and they helped me into the shoes and I walked over to the jewelery vanity. There was so much to choose from! Everything had to be silver, so yeah. I chose these medium sized hoops, a charm bracelet with a diamond heart and my usual silver ring. Then I had to wait for the guys, and I was getting cold, so I asked for a jacket. They brought me a comfty jacket, my jacket, a quilt and one of those ne blankets with sleeves. The _Snuggie_, I think. Wow, odd. I chose my jacket because it felt familiar in this alien world.

The guys got here and changed, and then it was time for the photo shoot. Then the cover shoot.

First, they wanted to get close ups of my face. I was supposed to look serious... sad... excited... smiling... Finally, they did snapshots of me. I had my hand on my hip... I was turned sideways... I was smiling and making a heart with my hands... God, this is _endless_! _When will it stop_? Oh, hey, it just did!

Now they were taking pictures of the guys... Mark... Joey... Nick... Jake... Me with my arms around Nick and Jake's shoulders, (they quite enjoyed that)... Us making funny faces... Every picture you could think of, they took. Then finally it was time for the shoot for the artwork. They got me a transparent umbrella, which was pretty cool, and they put us in front of a green screen. Then we posed for about fifteen minutes, not supposed to be moving, flinching every time the flash went off. I was supposed to have my legs together, my shoulders hunched, both hands grasping the handle, and I was supposed to look miserableith dark circles under my eyes, on the verge of tears. The guys were just supposed to stand there in the distance with concerned looks on their faces. I don't know why Britny bothered; all that was going to be shown as them was four dark silhoutes in the distance looking at me.

After that was done, they printed the picture everyone liked best, and they told me to put the title and my signature where I wanted it. I wrote '_bottom of the ocean_' in my clumsy scrawl, and then wrote a huge 'B', and inside the second bubble wrote '_ella Swan_'. Get it? Then they scanned it and told me to go change because in a few minutes we would be off to lunch, then we'd be back to create the backround.

At lunch, everyone was commenting on how beautiful and absolutely stunning I was. Then Carrie, a woman I hardly ever worked with, said: "You know, I think if the whole singing thing doesn't work out for ya, you could easily be a model. I mean, you are beautiful. Even when you walked in with jeans and Converse, you looked stunning. I must say, I wonder why you never had a boyfriend. Dear, is everything ok?"

I had flinched. I couldn't help it. I nodded to her and the conversation flowed normally again, but I still couldn't get his words out of my mind. _It will be as if I'd never existed. _The absence was everywhere I looked. Sure, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't really be here, but if I was, and he was here, I'd feel so much better. _"It will be as if I'd never existed." _Yeah, right! I would never forget him. I wouldn't let myself. This was a way of remembering them sort of.

No oine noticed the hole was sucking my happiness and hope, which I was thankful for.

After lunch, they knew I still had a lot more time until I had to perform with Taylor Swift, and they knew I hadn't been getting enough sleep, so they let me take a nap. I dreamt the worst dream I could possibly dream at this moment:

_"Come for a walk with me," he suggested in an unemotional voice, taking my hand._

_I didn't answer. I couldn't think of a way to protest, but I instantly knew that I wanted to. I didn't like this. _This is bad, this is very bad, _the voice in my head repeated again and again._

_But he didn't wait for an answer. He pulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwilligly, trying o think trhough the panic. It waas what I wanted, I reminded myself. The chance to talk it all through. So why was the panic choking me?_

_We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail-- I could still see the house._

_Some walk._

_Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable. _

And suddenly I was separated from the Bella Edward was going to leave. I was still watching, but from the outside. I could see the determination and fear in my eyes. And the coldness in his.

_"Okay, let's talk," the other me said. It sounded brave, but I knew it wasn't. Not really. _

_He took a deep breath._

_"Bella, we're leaving."_

I had supressed this memory for four months. Why did it come back to haunt me now? I couldn't even remember what I'd been thinking, so it confused me when the other me took a deep breath too and said: _"Why now? Another year--"_

_"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon, regardless."_

_The other Bella's face twisted in confusion, and she stared at Edward, as though trying to understand._

_He stared back at her coldly._

_Then her face twisted to one of pain. "When you say _we_--," she whispered._

_"I mean my family and myself." Each word sounded separate and distinct. _

_She shook her head back and forth. He waited without showing any sign of impatience. It was a few minutes later before she spoke. "Okay, I'll come with you."_

_"You can't, Bella. Where we're going . . . It's not the right place for you."_

_"Where you are is the right place for me."_

_"I'm no good for you, Bella."_

_"Don't be ridiculous," she begged. "You're the very best part of my life."_

_"My world is not for you," he said grimly._

_"What happened with Jasper-- that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"_

_"You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."_

_"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay--"_

_"As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct her._

_"_No! _This is about my soul, isn't it?" She shouted. She looked furious, but it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you-- it's yours already!"_

_He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder-- like the liquid gold had frozen solid._

_"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on her face, watching, like me, as she absorbed what he was really saying. There was a pause in which she seemed to be sifting the words through her head, searching for their real intent._

_"You . . . don't . . . want me?" The words sounded so wrong in that order, somehow._

_"No." _

And I was screaming. Screaming at her to run. Screaming at him "No! NO! You can't do this!". And then cold water was running down my face. What the hell?

"I think you should slap her, Jake. Maybe then she'll hug you! Oh crap, I think she heard that," I heard Joey say. I opened my eyes.

I'd fallen asleep in an uncomfortable sofa in the room, so everyone who was inside heard me. Including the band.

"Guys, why'd you throw ice water in my face? Ashantee is gonna kill you!" I told them groggily. Ashantee was the stylist.

"Sorry, but why the freak were you screaming? You were screaming at someone to 'RUN! GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE BEFORE HE HURTS YOU MORE!' and then 'NO! NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!' What is your problem? Who were you screaming at?" Mark, who I'd come to know as the insensitive one, asked.

I sat up. "I had a really bad dream. Sorry."

Jake and Nick nodded, but Joey laughed and Mark scowled. "Well, Jake, you don't get that hug today then. Try your luck tomorrow, though. Or maybe with Lisa. She's pretty hot..."

I drowned their banter out. I was still shaking. This is what I get.

"Bella, you're needed for the backround choosing," someone called through a PA. Well, here we go.


	6. Chapter 6

**I feel like the last chapter of Catch Me was incredibly short. _Probably because it was_, say the voices of Edward, Bella, and Alice in my head. SHUT UP! I tell them. Anyway, we've got a big day for Bella, because every time she needs to focus, something or someone comes in and remindes her. I would have started writing sooner, but THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS** **was on, and it's 2 of my best friend's favorite movie. So I watched it. I liked it. Here goes the chapter. P.S. I write these things before the actual chapter, but I'm pretty sure Taylor Swift will be featured in the next few and this one. I have never met Taylor Swift, and I am making the whole thing up. Like I did in Mary's Song. I also predicted the future, because I said Bella would become an English teacher for Middle school, and in Stephenie Meyer's Q&A on her website, she answered the same thing, except her Bella would teach High School. On with the show:**

**

* * *

**

**BPOV:**

I had been called, but it was painful to get up. I was surprised that I did. I glared at each boy separately, so that they got the message to NEVER pour ice water on my face. Ashantee gasped at my ruined make up and bangs, then when I explained she said she was "going to skin those boys alive for destroying my greatest creation, I am!". I shuddered. Scary. Then I told her that I needed them for my music, so she just smiled a sweet smile and said in a creepy high pitched voice: "Oooh, I'll get them, I will. Some way or another, but they'll be GONE! Or their dignity, anyway! Mwahahahaha!" Que the shudder. Then she smiled again and started to pack up, but promised she'd re-do my bangs and make up for the show later. I smiled as convincingly as I could and then walked to where I was needed.

"Isabella, yes?" A man in a berret said in a French sort of accent. I nodded. "You help me work with colors, yes?" I nodded again.

"Bella, this is Antonio Ferrelinoh. He's the best computer artist here, and he's going to help us get the artwork you want," Mr. Grytemun, one of the directors I'd hardly met, said.

"Oh, hello. It's very nice to work with you, sir," I said in a confident voice. Now where did that come from?

"Nice to work with you, too, Miss Isabella. So, we paint green to dark, no?" **(I'm not trying to make fun of French people, just of this one guy whose mom happened to be born in a French town. He wasn't raised in France, but he learned the language, even though he sounds kind of incompetent.)**

"Um, yes, I think." I turned and called Briana and Sydney, another official I hadn't known very well. I gave them a look that said: "_This _is the best you've got?!" They smiled sheepishly and Sydney said: "Sorry. He is not. Our best guy is doing something for your show later, and he said he'd be here when he was done, but I guess--". She looked around as the door opened. "Oh, there he is!" She ran toward him and leaped into his arms.

"That's not how she treats all her tech people, is it?" I asked Briana.

"Hardly. That's her boyfriend. They've been dating for three years, and she says he's going to pop the question every time they go out, but he's literarly afraid of marriage. He does know his way around a computer, though," she added thoughtfully.

They came over to us now, and I saw that this guy was sort of handsome. Never in _his_ way, but in the guy's way. He had brown hair in a short pony tail, sparkling blue eyes and a really nice smile. "So this is the amazing Bella. Well, I'm Cody Harrigton, at your service." We shook hands.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Harrigton," I said. I smiled, too.

"Well, I'm supposed to make the backround for your single, so, what is it that you want?" He asked, all businesslike. We sat on the sofa with Britny, Briana, and Syndey to help, but I was the one that was really doing all the talking.

"The pictures are me with an umbrella miserable, and it's supposed to be raining. I want it to be a gray, dark sky with clouds, but no lightning, and I'm standing in the middle of this gray road, and all the leaves in the trees are being blown away, like there's a strong wind. And it has to be raining, hard. Oh, and I also need a sign that says 'Welcome to Forks', or something along those lines... It's where it takes place, so yeah." He'd been writing all this down, and when I stopped, he looked at me and said: "You know, I've met a lot of artists, but you are the only one who really knows what she wants, in specific detail." He smiled at me and then we walked over to the computer.

He tried, following my instructions extremely well, several combinations, but none of them looked like the one in my head. Just when Ashantee told me I had to start getting ready for the concert, he had the perfect combination.

"That's the one." I walked to the chair and closed my eyes. I felt her take the make up off and replace it with a new combination. She passed eyeliner, mascara and something around my lips, then she blowdried my new bangs again, then rearranged them so they looked the perfect amount of messy. Then she told me to open my eyes.

Now I had light blue on my eyelids, black eyeliner, some sparkles around the edges of my right eye, and the same cream colored gloss from this morning. Then she said: "Now Bella, I need you to take this beautiful dress off, and put on--- wait! BRIANA! SYNDEY! WHAT THE HELL IS SHE WEARING TO THIS PRESENTATION CONCERT?" Briana and Sydney rushed over and said: "Well, she's going to wear a dark blue sweater, her skinny jeans and the black platforms I got her. It's something simple because she's only singing three songs."

I took the dress and silver heels off and changed into the slightly more comfortable outfit. The sweater was V-neck and three-quarter sleeves, and it just had a small desing of a white flower near the bottom, and my skinny jeans, which were slightly worn out, were familiar, but I begged Sydney to let me wear my Converse. She wouldn't let me. In the end, I wore the stupid platforms, but my feet would hurt soon enough. Then they got the recordings of three songs and I got my bag and we were off to the concert arena, (which was in the middle of a mall), and met up with Taylor Swift.

"Oh, wow, you're the girl who started so soon. I'm Taylor. I'm glad to have you here." We shook hans as I marveled how beautiful she really was. Not as beautiful as Rosa-- _one of them_-- but still amazingly pretty. Her long blond hair was curled into orderly spirals, and she was wearing a sundress the shade of new grass with birds following bees around the hem, which was above her knees. Being Taylor Swift, she completed this look with cowboy boots.

"Hi, I'm Bella. It's so great to meet you. Thank you for letting me do this. You don't mind that my melodies are all in CD, right?" I was getting nervous. People were starting to trickle in, and almost everyone was wearing a Taylor Swift T-shirt. Nobody was coming here to see me. They were coming to see someone talented, not someone who had gotten her deal just a few days ago.

"It's ok that you have that, because we don't really have space for a band onstage." She seemed nervous, but in control. I was nervous. Briana and Sydney and Mr. Webber wished me luck and left. I turned back to Taylor and focused on breathing normally. "So, are you nervous?" She asked me. I nodded. "Aren't you?" She nodded, too. Someone wearing a headpiece asked me for the CD and said I was on in five and gave a bejeweled silver microphone. I glanced at it. "Oh, I'm sure gonna feel comfortable with this, now."

"It's Miley's. She said she was coming and gave me her mic, but th she ditched for a bigger show. She's not coming for the rest of the week, but I have you, so it's cool." I blushed and smiled in answer. Then a male voice boomed: "Welcome everyone to the Taylor Swift Benefit for Seattle Mall! We have a great show this afternoon, and don't forget to check out the Taylor Swift Gift Shop at Border's before you go! But first, here's our amazing opening act! Please put your hands together for Bella Swan!"

Taylor pushed me out into the stage, and I walked toward the middle. I could see curious faces in the crowd. Some people were clapping. I saw Briana and Mr. Webber and Sydney clapping hardest.

"Hi, um, I'm Bella. Thanks for having me! Here's my song," I said awkwardly. I queued the guy and he started playing _One in a Million_. I started to sing:

_How did I get here  
I turned around and there you were  
I didn't think twice or rationalize  
'Cause somehow I knew_

_That there was more than just chemistry  
I mean, I knew you were kind of into me  
But I figured it's too good to be true_

_I said: "Pinch me, where's the catch this time?"  
Can't find a single cloud in the sky  
Help me before I get used to this guy!_

I was just standing there, swaying from side to side, but I got into the song and started twirling and dancing as much as I could without tripping.

_They say that good things take time  
But really great things happen in a blink of an eye  
Thought the chances to meet  
Somebody like you were a million to one  
I cannot believe it  
You're one in a million_

_All this time I was looking for love  
Trying to make this work  
They weren't good enough  
Till I thought I was through  
Said I was done  
And stumbled into the arms of the one_

_You're making me laugh about the silliest stuff  
Say that I'm your diamond in the rough  
When I'm mad at you, you come with your velvet touch_

_Can't believe that I'm so lucky  
I have never felt so happy  
Every time I see that sparkle in your golden eyes_

_They say that good things take time  
But really great things happen in a blink of an eye  
Thought the chances to meet  
Somebody like you were a million to one  
I cannot believe it  
You're one in a million_

_Yeah, yeah  
All this time I was looking for love  
Trying to make this work  
They weren't good enough  
Till I thought I was through  
Said I was done  
And stumbled into the arms of the one_

_I said: "Pinch me, where's the catch this time?"  
Can't find a single cloud in the sky  
help me before I get used to this guy_

_They say that good things take time  
But really great things happen in the blink of an eye  
Thought the chances to meet  
Somebody like you were a million to one  
I cannot believe it_

_Whoa_

_Yeah, yeah_

_They say that good things take time  
But really great things happen in the blink of an eye  
Thought the chances to meet  
Somebody like you were a million to one  
I cannot believe it  
You're one in a million_

_Yeah  
You're one in a million_

_Yeah  
You're one in a million_

I stopped spinning as I carried out the last note. I smiled as everyone clapped. I couldn't believe it! I singed and people liked it! And I didn't trip once!

"Thank you. Thank you!" I said. "Here's another one." I queued the guy for _Forever & Always_.

_Once upon a time  
I believe it was a Monday when I caught your eye  
We caught onto something  
I hold on to the night  
You looked me in the eye and told me  
You loved me_

_Were you just kidding?  
'Cause it seems to me  
This thing is breaking down  
We almost never speak  
I don't feel welcome anymore_

_Baby what happened?  
Please tell me 'cause one second it was perfect  
Now you're halfway out the door_

_And I stare at the phone  
He still hasn't called  
And then you feel so low  
You can't feel nothing at all  
And you flashback to when he said  
Forever and always_

_And it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always_

_Was I out of line?  
Did I say something way too honest?  
Made you run and hide  
Like a scared little boy  
I looked into your eyes  
Thought I knew you for a minute  
Now I'm not so sure_

_So here's to everything  
Coming down to nothing  
Here's to silence  
It cuts me to the core  
Where is this going?  
Thought I knew you for a minute  
But I don't anymore_

_And I stare at the phone  
He still hasn't called  
And then you feel so low  
You can't feel nothing at all  
And you flashback to when he said  
Forever and always_

_And it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always_

_You didn't mean it baby  
I don't think so_

_Oh, oh, oh, __Oh, oh oh_

_Oh, oh, oh, __Oh, oh oh_

_Back up, baby back up__  
Did you forget everything?_

_Back up, baby back up  
Did you forget everything?_

_Back up, please back up!_

_'Cause it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always_

_And I stare at the phone  
He still hasn't called  
And then you feel so low  
You can't feel nothing at all  
And you flashback to when we said  
Forever and always_

_'Cause it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always  
You didn't mean it, baby_

_You said forever and always, yeah_

It was a slow, piano tune, so when it was done, I was applauded again. I swear, I think I saw a girl with tears on her cheeks. Odd. I didn't think it was that bad. Not to people not in the know, anyway.

"Thank you. This is my last song. It's my single, which is coming out next week. Show the love people!" I had more confidence now. The guy started _Bottom Of The Ocean._

_It's been in the past for a while  
I get a flash and I smile  
Am I crazy?  
Still miss you, baby_

_It was real  
It was right  
But it burned too hot to survive  
All that's left is all these ashes_

_Where does the love go?  
I don't know  
When it's all said and done  
How could I be loosing you forever?  
After all the time we spent together  
I have to know why I had to lose you  
Now you just become, like everything I'll never find again  
At the bottom of the ocean_

_In a dream you appeared  
For a while you were here  
So I keep sleeping  
Just to keep you with me_

_I'll draw a map  
Connect the dots  
With all the memories that I got  
What I'm missing, I'll keep reliving_

_Where does the love go?  
I don't know  
When it's all said and done  
How could I be losing you forever?  
After all the time we spent together  
I have to know why I had to lose you  
Now you just become like everything I'll never find again  
At the bottom of the ocean_

_This is it_

_Let go_

_Breathe *Whispered*  
_

_You don't have to love me for me to, baby, ever understand  
Just know I love the time that we both had  
And I don't ever wanna see you sad  
Be happy_

_'Cause I don't wanna hold you if you don't wanna tell me you love,  
Just know I'm gonna have to walk away  
I'll be big enough for both of us to say: 'Be happy'_

_Do do do, Do do do do, (Be happy)_

_Mmmmm_

_Be happy_

I stopped mid-twirl and bowed. "Thank you." I was panting because I'd been dancing and twirling so much. "Thank you." I was signaled to walk off stage, but I had to introduce Taylor first. "And here's the talented Taylor Swift, everybody!" I walked off as everyone screamed their heads off.

Mr. Webber, Syndey, and Briana met me backstage. "Bella, that was wonderful! You were amazing out there! You looked so confident!"

I thanked them, and I thanked them for setting this up, and I hugged them. And I was excited until they told me a critic was reviewing the show. And that they'd film it and it was airing across the country. Then I wasn't so excited anymore.

"How could you guys not tell me?" I asked.

"We know how you get when you're nervous, and we thought that it would increase the panic. They're not filming or reviewing tomorrow, though. You can count on us to tell you the truth," Briana said.

Yeah, I could totally do that. Then I suddenly remembered I had reservations at the hotel again for tonight.

"Mr. Webber, a guy at the hotel told me I had reservations for tonight, too. I have to stay again? I have to miss school?" I asked Mr. Webber.

"Bella, I already worked it out with your father, so you won't be going to school for the next two days. We already asked Angela to get you your work, and you were excused, so I wouldn't worry. I made reservations for the rest of the week. That's ok with you, though, right? Because I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Mr. Webber added.

"Not at all, sir. I was just wondering. What time do I have to be at the studio tomorrow?"

"Before eleven, if you don't mind. We're going shopping for things for your shows this week, and things for being seen in," Sydney said. "Don't worry, it's money you get when you work with me as your manager and Mr. Webber as your dealer." She smiled and I felt better. They knew me, so they wouldn't make me wear pink and silk and crap like that. I was happy about that.

I was shocked when Taylor came and asked me to say goodbye with her. I was so entranced in my personal happy bubble that I hadn't even noticed what she sang. I bid goodbye to the audience and Taylor and I exchanged numbers, then I bid goodbye to her and the people and took a taxi to my hotel. I got to my room and asked for dinner, then I went over to the computer. I turned my e-mail on and gasped. It read: _New mail- Alice Cullen- - Re: _

_She'd replied.  
_


	7. Chapter 7

**The last chapter was long, don't you think? This is something I kind of planned on doing, I just wasn't sure when. I'm shocked that I'm doing it so soon, but something just told me I had to do it. I hope you like this.

* * *

**

**APOV:**

I was flipping through the channels seeing nothing. I was bored, and miserable, and feeling Edward's pain. How _dare_ he leave Bella? They were perfect for each other, and he'd ripped that apart and ruined her life. He told me to try to not see her future. I'm not looking, but I caught glimpses.

Bella had been impossible. She wasn't eating, sleeping, talking, eating. How she was surviving was beyond me. After a week she snapped out of this behavior, but she was still in some ways a zombie. Then something I didn't see happened and she snapped out of the whole thing. She was more animated, but she still kept to herself. A few days ago, Edward had checked in, and he read my mind and yelled at me to not look for her future. I wasn't, but he wouldn't believe it.

I quit looking for something exciting and turned my laptop on. I knew it was dumb, but I checked my e-mail anyway. I had one new message. From Bella. Crap. If Edward found out, he'd kill me. I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't resist. I won't answer it, I promised myself. I would just read it through to see how she's doing. I opened it.

_Dear Alice,  
I don't know where you are or what you're doing. I know I probably shouldn't be doing this, but here goes. _

_This is something I never told you guys. I can sing, I can play piano and guitar, and I write songs. I was with Angela (Webber) the other day and she found my music and told me her uncle could get me a deal. So we went there the next day and I got myself a deal. I'm working with some guys in a band and we're going to be releasing a single soon. Tomorrow's the shoot for the cover. The song itself is pretty good. So anyway, I also wanted to say that I'm staying in one of those rooms in a hotel where they even have a computer for guests. It's so glamorous, and I'm so... me. So, yeah. I also wanted you to know that I'm not over what happened. I miss you guys a lot and I miss HIM a lot. It's like a whole has been punched through my chest. But this joy of finding something that I'm 'good' at and all the interesting things that go with it is, well, not so much fun, just distracting from all the reminders. I will never forget you guys, not even if I die. I seriously think even if I die, (when I die. There's no 'if' about it anymore.), I bet I'll still remember you and the loss I felt when all of you left. _

_P.S. Even if you DO get this you don't have to answer. I'm not exactly expecting a reply, but I can't tell Angela because she'll come rushing over, and the boss said it has to be confidential, and I can't tell Jessica Stanely because she'll be so jealous and angry I'll regret it, or worse, she'll tell everyone. _

_Love, Bella Swan_

My breath caught. Bella got a record deal? How the hell had I not seen that coming? It didn't matter, anyway. All that mattered was that I couldn't answer. I was sorry. I sighed and turned the TV back on, where I surfed through the channels again. This time, I stopped. A news reporter was in the Seattle Mall, and around her were screaming girls. The reporter was saying: "... it was very nice of Miss Swift to do this. She had days off her vacation, and she decided to come help out here. Oh, and let's not forget it's a three day thing, so girls, it's a free concert in the Seattle Mall, today, Thursday and Friday, and she's going to be presenting a newly found singer." Then a guy came up next to her and said: "Oh, yes. She's just fresh off the studio recording her new single, but already she's performing. I don't know how she got this, but I hope she's good at performing, because I expect this crowd wants the best. My best wishes to Bella Swan, our new performer."

I gasped.

Bella? Performing live? Now? I couldn't turn this off. Suddenly I was glad I was here all alone.

"Ah, there is the queuing for the show to begin. Catch ya, later, folks." And the camera changed its focus.

The camera focused on a blond guy standing on a small bare stage. He was saying: "Welcome everyone to the Taylor Swift Benefit for Seattle Mall! We have a great show this afternoon, and don't forget to check out the Taylor Swift Gift Shop at Border's before you go! But first, here's our amazing opening act! Please put your hands together for Bella Swan!"

Oh, crap. Well, I was gonna see her perform, at least.

Bella stumbled out of the left side that's hidden from view and walked nervously toward the middle of the stage. "Hi, um, I'm Bella. Thanks for having me! Here's my song," she said into a silver bejeweled mic. She queued the guy and something sweet sounding started to play. She sang.

_How did I get here  
I turned around and there you were  
I didn't think twice or rationalize  
'Cause somehow I knew_

_That there was more than just chemistry  
I mean, I knew you were kind of into me  
But I figured it's too good to be true_

_I said: "Pinch me, where's the catch this time?"  
Can't find a single cloud in the sky  
Help me before I get used to this guy!_

She had been standing, swaying from side to side, but now she began to twirl and spin beautifully. She had a really great voice. It was sweet and soft and hard somehow, but I was surprised when she couldn't do high notes. I knew the '_guy_' at the end there was a high note.

_They say that good things take time  
But really great things happen in a blink of an eye  
Thought the chances to meet  
Somebody like you were a million to one  
I cannot believe it  
You're one in a million_

_All this time I was looking for love  
Trying to make this work  
They weren't good enough  
Till I thought I was through  
Said I was done  
And stumbled into the arms of the one_

_You're making me laugh about the silliest stuff  
Say that I'm your diamond in the rough  
When I'm mad at you, you come with your velvet touch_

_Can't believe that I'm so lucky  
I have never felt so happy  
Every time I see that sparkle in your golden eyes_

_They say that good things take time  
But really great things happen in a blink of an eye  
Thought the chances to meet  
Somebody like you were a million to one  
I cannot believe it  
You're one in a million_

_Yeah, yeah  
All this time I was looking for love  
Trying to make this work  
They weren't good enough  
Till I thought I was through  
Said I was done  
And stumbled into the arms of the one_

_I said: "Pinch me, where's the catch this time?"  
Can't find a single cloud in the sky  
help me before I get used to this guy_

_They say that good things take time  
But really great things happen in the blink of an eye  
Thought the chances to meet  
Somebody like you were a million to one  
I cannot believe it_

_Whoa_

_Yeah, yeah_

_They say that good things take time  
But really great things happen in the blink of an eye  
Thought the chances to meet  
Somebody like you were a million to one  
I cannot believe it  
You're one in a million_

_Yeah  
You're one in a million_

_Yeah  
You're one in a million_

Could it be? Was this song about Edward? I couldn't stand not knowing!

The audience was clapping. She seemed to really enjoy it. She was thanking the audience: "Thank you. Thank you! Here's another one!" She queued a guy and sad piano music began.

_Once upon a time  
I believe it was a Monday when I caught your eye  
We caught onto something  
I hold on to the night  
You looked me in the eye and told me  
You loved me_

_Were you just kidding?  
'Cause it seems to me  
This thing is breaking down  
We almost never speak  
I don't feel welcome anymore_

_Baby what happened?  
Please tell me 'cause one second it was perfect  
Now you're halfway out the door_

_And I stare at the phone  
He still hasn't called  
And then you feel so low  
You can't feel nothing at all  
And you flashback to when he said  
Forever and always_

_And it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always_

_Was I out of line?  
Did I say something way too honest?  
Made you run and hide  
Like a scared little boy  
I looked into your eyes  
Thought I knew you for a minute  
Now I'm not so sure_

_So here's to everything  
Coming down to nothing  
Here's to silence  
It cuts me to the core  
Where is this going?  
Thought I knew you for a minute  
But I don't anymore_

_And I stare at the phone  
He still hasn't called  
And then you feel so low  
You can't feel nothing at all  
And you flashback to when he said  
Forever and always_

_And it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always_

_You didn't mean it baby  
I don't think so_

_Oh, oh, oh, __Oh, oh oh_

_Oh, oh, oh, __Oh, oh oh_

_Back up, baby back up__  
Did you forget everything?_

_Back up, baby back up  
Did you forget everything?_

_Back up, please back up!_

_'Cause it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always_

_And I stare at the phone  
He still hasn't called  
And then you feel so low  
You can't feel nothing at all  
And you flashback to when we said  
Forever and always_

_'Cause it rains in your bedroom  
Everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here  
And it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said  
Forever and always  
You didn't mean it, baby_

_You said forever and always, yeah_

I guess that's how it was for her before we left. I knew Edward barely talked to her.

She looked slightly more confident now as she said: "Thank you. This is my last song. It's my single, which is coming out next week. Show the love people!" A guy wordlessly started the last song, and it was a sweet melody. It was even sweeter when she started singing.

_It's been in the past for a while  
I get a flash and I smile  
Am I crazy?  
Still miss you, baby_

_It was real  
It was right  
But it burned too hot to survive  
All that's left is all these ashes_

_Where does the love go?  
I don't know  
When it's all said and done  
How could I be loosing you forever?  
After all the time we spent together  
I have to know why I had to lose you  
Now you just become, like everything I'll never find again  
At the bottom of the ocean_

_In a dream you appeared  
For a while you were here  
So I keep sleeping  
Just to keep you with me_

_I'll draw a map  
Connect the dots  
With all the memories that I got  
What I'm missing, I'll keep reliving_

_Where does the love go?  
I don't know  
When it's all said and done  
How could I be losing you forever?  
After all the time we spent together  
I have to know why I had to lose you  
Now you just become like everything I'll never find again  
At the bottom of the ocean_

_This is it_

_Let go_

_Breathe *Whispered*  
_

_You don't have to love me for me to, baby, ever understand  
Just know I love the time that we both had  
And I don't ever wanna see you sad  
Be happy_

_'Cause I don't wanna hold you if you don't wanna tell me you love,  
Just know I'm gonna have to walk away  
I'll be big enough for both of us to say: 'Be happy'_

_Do do do, Do do do do, (Be happy)_

_Mmmmm_

_Be happy_

She just said she would never stop loving Edward! And this song is beautiful! I'm sure anyone apart from Bella would sound terrible singing it! Oh, I must tell Edward!

She stopped and bowed, then, panting slightly, said: "Thank you. Thank you. And here's the talented Taylor Swift, everybody!" She walked off as the screaming began.

I needed to tell Edward. He should know about this.

But I couldn't. He'd say I was looking for her future, and that I should lay off and leave him the hell alone. I needed to do something.

I watched the rest of the show. Taylor Swift sang three songs and said if they wanted more they should come back tomorrow. Then the camera focus went back to the reporters. I grabbed the laptop, knowing I shouldn't do it, but not being able to help myself. I watched the news report first.

"Well, Benny, that's that. What did you think of Bella Swan?" The woman asked.

"She has a very nice voice, and I know as a fact she writes her own songs, so she's very promising. And you could tell right there she's got great stage presence. I'd be watching out for her name if I were you," the news guys named Benny said.

"Yes, I would, too. Her single will be out next Tuesday, on a Digital release on i-Tunes, it's name is _Bottom Of The Ocean_, and she'll be appearing with Taylor Swift on each of her shows this week. We're sorry to say that we won't be catching the next two shows live, but we will join them together for a special news report on Friday. Goodday everyone!" They signed off.

I got my laptop and opened Bella's e-mail again. I hit reply.

* * *

**And so I leave it in a cliffy yet again. Next chapter is BPOV, starting with her reading the e-mail, so you'll get to see what Alice wrote back. Some reviews said they wanted to know, and I said they would here, but the temptation was too great. I couldn't help myself. Please review on what you think Alice is gonna say!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I know I took like forever to update, but I just got really into my other story Catch Me. And I was checking (for some unknown reason) the hits on my stories. THANK YOU GUYS SOOOOOO MUCH. Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't updated, but it's just that in Catch Me, Bella's so cautious and worried all the time, and here she's enjoying herself and thinking of the ups and downs, but she just wants to this and that's it. No Jacob butting in and making her feel bad, and no Alice putting make up on her... Hmmm. It's hard to change moods, but I'll try my hardest. Also, if you have a youtube account, please subscribe to Clevvertv, because once Dana and Joslyn get 100.000 subscribers, then they'll do an Eclipse thing, and I want to hear it. And, please review and react to what I'm doing here, and I know I deleted the last chapter. Well, that was because I discarded that stuff and I'm writing a different e-mail and all that stuff. Another side note, I was shopping for school things and on the way home, we saw a man get escorted into a cop car. He was handcuffed. They moved him to another car five minute later; he was stumbling and tripping. I'm a bit scared that someone like that might crash into me. Here goes:**

**

* * *

**

**BPOV:**

I was shocked Alice responded, to say the least. I wasn't sure if I should open it. Maybe I shouldn't. It would be healthier, and it wouldn't hurt as much if I didn't. But I wanted to know what she thought. And I was desperate for a shred of reality. I mean, this chance was amazing, but it was time to get back to reality, because a week ago, my reality had been studying, and making my way through the rest of the year unnoticed. Now it was to make good music and hope people liked it. I opened the e-mail.

_Dear Bella, _

_I'm soooooooo happy for you. I just saw your performance on TV. You are amazing. How could you not tell me you could sing?! I mean, why? Anyway, did you see the looks on peoples faces after you sang? I did! I soooooo know you're going to beat Miley Cyrus on the charts! LOL. Um, so, anyway, how's it going? Are you happy with your band? Do you like your new hairstyle? How did you like Taylor Swift? Oh, man, I think Rosalie's coming back from hunting. I have to go, but don't call, because you know what they'll think. And just for the record, I'm so anxious to hear what your album sounds like, because if you're THAT good onstage, then recorded must be AMAZING..._

_Bye, Alice Cullen_

Alice was amazing. She's so nice. She thinks I'm an amazing singer, and she heard it through TV. When she said the 'You will beat Miley Cyrus off the charts' I laughed. No one beats Miley Cyrus, because her fan base is too big. *Cough* Seven year old girls. *Cough* Hm, she's actually interested in how I'm doing. And she wants my album.

I hit reply.

_Dear Alice,_

_Thanks so much for responding. I miss having you here. Thanks for all the compliments. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I could sing, but I never told anyone. I wanted to keep that part of my life private. I didn't see people's faces. I think I was talking to my boss, or whatever he is. It's going ok, I guess... I mean, it's fun, doing this stuff, but it's not the same as hanging out with you. But I got excused the whole week from school, so that's a plus! The guys are annoying, but they're fine. They threw ice water down my face so I'd wake up, so I'm mad at them, but they're fine artists, so I guess that's fine. I was the one that suggested the cut, so I like it. Taylor Swift is like the nicest person in the world. She's so sweet. I don't know when the album's coming out, but then again I don't know if people will like my songs, so, yeah... Anyway, gotta go; my dinner's getting cold._

_Love, Bella_

I hit send and ate my dinner. It wasn't late yet, but I took a shower and climbed into bed. I had to wait for Charlie, and when he finally came, he brought a lot of clothes, and some books, and he hadn't eaten, so I ordered dinner for him.

"Thanks, Bells. This is really---." He tasted the burger I got. "That is good."

I nodded and went back to putting clothes in the drawers and books on tables. Then I saw my guitar. I was sorely tempted. A song had been writing itself in the back of my head, and it was acoustic, and powerful, and I suddenly felt the need to strum it out and write it down. I picked up the guitar and got a sheet of paper. I wrote the lyrics with the curious eyes of my father watching. Then I began to strum.

_When I was younger  
I saw my Daddy cry  
And curse at the wind  
He broke his own heart  
And I watched  
As he tried to reassemble it_

_And my momma swore  
That she would never let herself forget  
And that was the day  
That I promised  
I'd never sing of love  
If it does not exist_

_But darling,  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception_

_Maybe, I know, somewhere  
Deep in my soul  
That love never lasts  
And we've got to find other ways  
To make it alone  
Or keep a straight face_

_And I've always lived like this  
Keeping a comfortable distance  
And up until now  
I had sworn to myself  
That I'm content with loneliness  
Because none of it was ever worth the risk_

_Well,  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception_

_I've got a tight grip on reality  
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here  
I know you're leaving in the morning  
When I wake up, leave me with some kind of proof  
It's not a dream, Ohh_

_You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
And I'm on my way to believing it_

_Oh, and I'm on my way to believing_

Just as it fell into place my phone rang. I put the guitar down and ran to it. "Hello?"

"Hey, Bella. It's Briana. See, Taylor Swift called. She wants to go shopping with you tomorrow. She's coming around eleven. Is that ok?"

"Um, yeah! But, I wrote a new song... Can I record it before I go?" I asked.

"Sure... Come by around nine. We still have to talk about videos and clothes..." She trailed off and I agreed, then she hung up. I sighed and put the sheet in my bag, then turned to Dad. He had an uncomfortable expression on his face. "What's up, Dad?" I asked.

"Well, you remember Jacob?" I nodded. "He was sick at home today and he was surfing the channels on TV and he stopped when he saw you performing at the Seattle Mall. He said you were fantastic, and he called me to turn it on. Dave at the station turned it on and everyone saw your last two songs. Hon, you are amazing. I'm just disappointed you didn't tell your old man you were gonna be on TV. If you had then I would've watched the whole thing..." He smiled and I knew I was forgiven. I hugged him. He hugged back after the shock wore off.

"Dad, I didn't know I was on TV until I was done and Mr. Webber went to tell me. I'm sorry. So, um, are you, uh..." I trailed off, not wanting to sound rude.

"I know what you're saying. It's a long ride back to Forks, and you want your old man gone." He chuckled. "I'll call Angela and tell her you're fine. She's been really anxious. She'll probably jump up and down when I tell her you met Taylor Swift. Anyway, Bells, goodbye." We hugged once more, and then he left. And I was alone once again.

I don't have a facebook page because I found it quite stupid to put your whole life there for people who know you. Celebrities do that because their fans don't know them, but I'm not a celeb, not yet, anyway. Briana said we were going to get a publicist and stylist, but that was just another step. I can't wait till I see Taylor tomorrow. She's such a good person.

I went to bed after I set an alarm for tomorrow.

I woke up and showered, then dressed in jeans and a blue T-shirt, and I pulled a white hoodie over it and went downstairs to eat. I'd filled my bag with everything I needed and I was eating my toast when a little girl walked up to me. She was tanned, blond, with a missing front tooth, and she looked very excited. "Hi sweetie, can I help you?"

"Are you Bella Swan?" She asked me. I nodded. She squealed. Just then, her mother came over.

"I'm so sorry. Is she bothering you?" She asked. She turned to her daughter. "Now Tiffany, what have we talked about walking up to strangers?" The little girl hung her head.

"No, she wasn't bothering me at all. I love kids," I said. "So, Tiffany, was there something you wanted?" She looked up and smiled.

"Could I take a picture with you? And get your autograph?" I nodded and she gave me a pen and a small notebook. I leafed through it. Wow, she had Miley Cyrus', Nick Jonas' and Emily Osment's autographs. I signed my name just like in the picture for the artwork and handed it to her, then her mom took out a camera and flashed a picture. "I saw your performance yesterday. You were really cool. Thanks so much! Bye!" She walked, (or rather skipped), away and sat down, examining the signature. I smiled. I'd made someone happy by signing my name and taking a picture.

After I was done I called a cab, and told the guy to hurry, because I had fifteen minutes to get there so I could record the song. He took that seriously and we made it in five, so I gave him a tip. I walked, or rather half-ran, up to the booth while dialing Briana's number. She picked up after half the first ring; the time it would take to check caller ID. "Hey, Bella, what's up?"

"I'm here. Where can I record the new song?" I asked.

"You're panting. Bella, did you run here?!"

"No, no! I just really want to record this song. Where can I go?" I repeated.

"Um, the one in the room where we do shoots and stuff. Come on, I'm there. Oh, wait. Is that you?" I looked over and saw her standing outside a door with keys in her hand. "Oh, come in. Wait, why are we talking on the phone?" I hung up and hugged her, then she opened the door and lead me to the booth. "Wait. Mr. Webber said we don't have time to record and put together songs, so today and tomorrow you're just gonna go acoustic. With your guitar or keyboard. Is that ok?" I nodded and she smiled. "However, I do want your vocals just in case, and so you sound stronger."

I recorded my vocals for _The Only Exception_, (the new song), _Distracted_, and _Breathe_. And then, since we were the only ones there, Briana and I picked what I would wear to the show, and what I'd wear to shop. Apparently, what I was wearing was _way_ too casual for going shopping with Taylor Swift. She means, what would I say if the paparazzi got a picture of me? Did I want to be known as the simple girl from Forks? I gave in and changed into skinny jeans, my Converse, and purple V-neck that fit me snugly. I layered it with the white hoodie, and we put my ring and some bangles, and Briana approved. She told me that the record label payed for my clothes and all my necessities and she gave me about five hundred dollars for shopping. She said it was 'in case I found something too cute in a designer boutique'. I'm not going anywhere near a hundred, but I'm not going to argue with her.

We played around a bit, taking candid pictures, shooting videos of me doing vocals, and then we threw ideas around for a video for the new single. We wanted it to be on a beach, a broken, battered, and rainy street, and my bedroom. I loved the ideas, and I liked the beach concept, but once she said: "We could get you to swim in a blue bikini or something to make it in the ocean," I said that there was no way I was going to be recorded in a bikini. Then my phone was ringing.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey, Bella, it's Taylor. Um, can you tell me where to go? Cause I'm kind of lost-- whoa! Oh no! Get somebody down here! Paparazzi everywhere!"

"Hold on, lemme grab my bag and I'll be downstairs. Are you by the parking, or the front entrance?" I asked.

"Front." She mumbled a thank you and something dinged. "What floor are you on?"

"Five, I think. I'll meet you at the elevator," I said. I hung up and said goobye to Briana and walked out. She said: "I'm going to look for a publicist and manager, so I'll be busy. Oh, and remember you have to come back around three thirty to get ready. Have fun!"

I walked off and met Taylor at the elevator, and we went through the back door that lead to the company cars, which I conveniently had a key to. I had a key to a 2009 silver Volvo, which if you thought about it was pretty bad, but his model wasn't as new, and this one's color looked closer to black than silver. **(Author's Note: Let's pretend this is happening in the year 2009, and the Volvo Edward drives is the one from Twilight, and the one Bella will drive is the one from New Moon. Please play along.)** I opened the doors and Taylor and I got on, and then, as I started to back out, she said: "You drive _this_? I mean, my car's pretty cool, but this is an a-mazing car!"

"Oh, actually, this isn't my car, but the guys at the hotel won't let me take my old truck out, so I was given the keys to this baby. Unfortunate, but necessary. I didn't think you'd like to take a cab to the mall," I said sheepishly.

"What do you mean by 'unfortunate'? Lots of people I know, including my best friend Abigail, would love to drive this car," she said.

"Um, my ex drove a silver Volvo. He's, uh, well, I'd rather not talk about it," I said. My voice saddened at the end and she shook her head. "It's fine, Bella. I get it. So where do you want to go shopping?"

I was suddenly reminded of the time _we_ were going to come to Seattle to shop. We went to his meadow instead, but I was reminded anyways. "Um, I don't really shop much. I don't know what they have. Where do you want to go?" I said casually. Meanwhile, the whole was ripping at my chest. It hurt, and I was panting, but I didn't let it show.

"I like Walmart, and retail stores like that. But we could go to any places you want to go... Oh, wait, I have an event! I have to get a dress for something. And I can't sit and design it because I don't have enough time. Ok, well, then we'll look that and some dresses. Ooh, and we could look for outfits to wear today and tomorrow." I was parking at a Walmart, so I was concentrating, because this car was smoother and easier to drive than my truck, but it was so different it was a bit hard. I finally did it and as we got out, I saw a flash go off and turned. A little girl had taken a picture of Taylor getting out of the car. I pointed this out to her and we basically ran inside the store. There, we walked to the juniors section, because even though she was tall, she was quite slender, and I, well, you know I'm average, not tiny like Alice, not statuesque like Rosalie. They had some nices things, and we both ended up buying skinny jeans, several tops, a few scarfs, and a sundress. I argued that I would never actually wear a _sun_dress in the constant rain I lived in, but then she mentioned touring and sunny weather, and I tried it on and ended up buying it. I don't want to tell you how much I spent, but I can assure you I still had over three hundred and fifty when I was done, because I'd also shopped for necessary things, and I'd bought that movie that I had no idea how I found; _A Walk To Remember_. I'd always loved that movie, and I cried at the end along with my mother when we'd watched it.

We had lunch in a little pizza place down the road, then we went to the mall, to look for the dress she needed. Apparently, she wanted something light, short, sophisticated, and not too show-offy, because it was a private event. I couldn't help but ask: "What's the event?"

"Oh, Miley just wanted to show a viewing of some new episode. And then we were going to perform for this school. Her new boyfriend, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Leslie, Mandy, and some of her other friends are coming. Hey, do you want to go?" She asked out of the blue.

"Oh, well-- I--" I stuttered. "Do you think Miley would let me?" I asked.

"I think so." She took out her phone. "Here, let me call her." She dialed. "Hey, Miles, um, I've got a new friend and I was wondering if she could go to the thing next week..... She's Bella Swan..... Um, I don't know....... Here, then." She mouthed 'She wants to talk to you'. I took the phone.

"Hello?" I was actually talking to Miley Cyrus, I think.

"Yeah, hi, this is Miley. So, anyway, Taylor says you want to come to my party..." She trailed off. From her tone of voice, I could tell she didn't want some unknown person there.

"Actually, she invited me," I said.

"Oh, well, then, one question. Do you watch my show?" Well, I'm not sure.

"Sometimes, I guess, but I generally don't watch TV much; my dad's always watching a sports game," I said.

"And do you like my music?" That's two questions, captain not-so-good-at-Math.

"Um, yeah," I lied. It wasn't that I didn't like Miley Cyrus music; I just liked classical and rock more.

"Well, then, sure! You can come! Gotta go, I have to shoot a scene! Wait, Emily, that's my bracelet!" She hung up. I gave the phone back to Taylor.

"So can you go?"

"Yeah, but apparently I had to like her music and show to go," I said. She giggled. Then the woman came back with her dress and she turned to me. "What color looks best on you?" She asked.

"I've been told a deep blue looks lovely with my skin," I said. She nodded. We walked toward that side of the color racks and looked and looked until we found the perfect dress. It was a halter top, but it was very subtle, and it had a little band around the waist, so the rest ended in ruffles. Taylor and I went inside the fitting rooms and tried the dresses on. The mint green looked lovely, and it was a simple strapless number, with sparkles around the bust. A ribbon made of silk was under the bust, and the dress fell normally up until a few inches of her knees. My dress looked fairly well, and it ended three inches above my knees. We both loved the dresses, so we went to look for shoes. She chose silver flats, and I chose some black strappy heels.

We bought these and went over to the jewelery section. She chose just a silver ring, because she had jewelery for the event, but I chose some cascading silver earrings, a silver charm bracelet with only one charm on it, which was a crystal star, and I would wear my ring, and my necklace. We payed for these, took the things to my car, (thankfully not followed by paparazzi), and went inside to get ice cream. As I was licking my mint chocolate chip, I looked at the watch. "I have to be at the studio around three so I can get ready," I said.

"We should go, then," Taylor responded. I nodded and we went back to my car, but as we went, a man with a video camera and about half a dozen photographers followed us.

"Hey, Taylor!" One of the called. She turned and grinned and waved. "Hey guys, listen we gotta go, so could you please...."

"We just need a picture of you and her for a website, ok? Could you just pose together or something?" We smiled as we walked and six camera flashes went off. "And we need you to tell us who this is," one of the guys said.

"This is Bella. She's a new friend and she's performing a few shows with me." She turned to me, "Now lets go." We got in the car and I concentrated on not running over anyone, but they moved away as soon as they saw what I was trying to do, but kept taking pictures anyway.

I left Taylor at her hotel and then went to the studio. It was a quarter till three. I met up with Briana and told her I'd bought some stuff, and she told me to go change into sweats and to wash my face. I did so and when I came back, she had a woman with her. The woman was Chelsea Brown, and she was going to be my stylist. She approved of the outfit I planned to wear to the show, and she did my make up, which I must say looked great. Then I changed into the outfit I was going to wear while Briana and Chelsea checked some celebrity gossip site. The outfit was a long shirt, with thick straps, yet no sleeves, skinny dark jeans, my black flats, and my normal jewelery. The shirt's top was knit, and the rest fell (thankfully it wasn't tight) and it was purple. I was wearing a little white cami under it just in case, and it looked pretty cute. I had to remember I would be sitting on a stool playing, and not dancing around and twirling.

I was admiring the look in the mirror when Briana squealed. "Bella, come quick! You're on the internet!!!" I rushed over, more out of pleasure to please her than actual interest. It was a celebrity gossip site, and the headline was **TAYLOR SWIFT SEEN WITH NEW FRIEND SHOPPING IN SEATTLE**. It was the pictures the photographers at the mall had gotten, plus some of me and her looking at other dresses, and me talking on her phone. The story read:

**Taylor Swift has been seen with a friend, and it wasn't Miley Cyrus. As we know, Swift is doing some benefit shows in the Seattle Mall, and it was said she would be performing with a new act. I guess this new act, as confirmed yesterday by the DJ at the event, is Bella Swan. Bella Swan is said to be releasing a single soon, and once she sang yesterday fans of Taylor were not disappointed. She is unknown, but apparently she's already got good friends. Taylor said: "This is Bella. She's a new friend and she's performing a few shows with me." We think Bella is one lucky girl. The two went shopping and had some ice cream, and then Bella dropped Taylor off at her hotel. It seems to me that the two will be seen together often, because they are both going to Miley Cyrus' private party next week, and they'll be performing together these next few days. Good luck to Bella and Taylor. **

Briana closed the page and said: "So you're going to a Miley Cyrus party?"

"Taylor invited me and then Miley said it was ok, and we got a dress and shoes and earrings.... Is it ok if I go?"

"Bella, you should have called. We need to get you tickets to LA, and excuse you from school, and that's not easy. You know what, I'm going to have to talk to your father about homeschooling. You're missing so much school, and with so much work, you could hardly get any work done. Yes, I will call your father. And about partying with Miley Cyrus, too. Go, or you're gonna be late," she dismissed me while taking out her phone. I grabbed my bag and guitar and walked out, going to the car. I drove to the mall and was met by screaming girls. I don't know how, but I made it inside. I walked over to where I could see Taylor talking on her phone while someone was curling her hair. She looked worried.

"Hey, Taylor," I said cheerfully. She smiled and someone told me to sit in a chair. I sat and began strumming and humming the melody while a lady touched up my make up. I really didn't care much for make up, but they said in this industry you had to wear it. I'm like, Whatever, but you know how people can be.

I started strumming _Forever & Always_ and Taylor turned. "Hey, that song.... You sang it yesterday, right?" I nodded. "Well, it's such a great song, and, well, I don't know. I just wanted to say I really like it." I smiled at her and went back to my random strumming. Then the screaming crowd got louder. The show was about to start. Taylor introduced me to her vocal coach, Jenny, and we all did vocal warm-ups. Then someone announced my name. A stool was already outside, in the middle, in front of it a mic stand. I was told it held a mic for my vocals and for my guitar. I walked out carrying my guitar and a smile.

"Hey guys! Today I'm doing acoustics," I said. I sat and propped myself up, then slung the guitar strap around my shoulder and looked at the audience. "Ok, this song is called _Distracted_. Here goes,"

_I was doin' just fine  
Till you messed with my mind__  
Why'd you have to be so perfect?  
Now you're stuck in my head  
I'm losing sleep over it  
I don't know how to be objective_

_Having trouble staying focused  
Can't pretend that I don't notice  
How you make me feel inside_

_I get so distracted  
When you come around  
My head's in the clouds  
Can't seem to concentrate  
Oh oh, don't you know that I  
Get so distracted  
When I see your face  
Get caught in a daze  
Sometimes I don't know what to do  
I get so distracted, distracted, distracted by you  
_

_By you_

_That's right_

_Wonder if you're aware  
I really don't mean to stare  
But you know I just can't help it  
I try to stay in control  
Yes I do, but I don't  
I guess I must be losing it_

_Having trouble staying focused  
Can't pretend that I don't notice  
How you drive me out of my mind_

_I get so distracted  
When you come around  
My head's in the clouds  
I can't seem to concentrate at all  
Oh oh, don't you know that I get so distracted  
When I see your face  
Get caught in a daze  
Sometimes I don't know what to do  
I get so distracted, distracted, distracted by you_

_What have you done to me?  
I'm not the one I used to be  
You got me all confused  
Maybe that's just what you meant to do_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Having trouble staying focused  
Caught up in the other door  
Think about you all the time_

_I get so distracted  
When you come around  
Me head's in the clouds  
I can't seem to concentrate at all  
oh oh, don't you know that I get so distracted  
When I see your face  
Get caught in a daze  
Sometimes I don't know what to do  
I get so distracted, distracted, distracted, distracted, distracted, distracted, distracted  
By you_

Everyone cheered, and even if it was acoustic I could hear the drums in my head. I looked at people's faces. Some looked pumped, others overjoyed, others excited. "Thanks so much guys! The next song is really, very sad, but I hope you like it anyways!"

_I see your face in my mind as I drive away  
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way  
People are people and sometimes we change our minds  
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time_

_Mmm Mmmm Mmm Mmmm_

_Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie  
It's the kind of ending you don't really wanna see  
Cause it's tragedy and it only brings you down  
I don't know what to be without you around_

_And we know it's never simple, never easy  
Never a clean break  
No one here to save me  
You're the only thing I know like the back of hand_

_And I can't breathe without you  
But I have to  
Breathe without you  
But I have to_

_Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt  
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve  
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out  
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out_

_And we know it's never simple, never easy  
Never a clean break  
No one here to save me  
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand_

_And I can't breathe without you  
But I have to  
Breathe without you  
But I have to_

_It's 2 a.m., feeling like I just lost a friend  
No, it's not easy, easy for me  
It's 2 a.m., feeling like I just lost a friend  
No, this ain't easy, easy for me_

_And we know it's never simple, never easy  
Never a clean break  
No one here to save me_

_Oh_

_I can't breathe without you  
But I have to  
Breathe without you  
But I have to  
Breathe without you  
But I have to_

_Ooh, Oh,  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, yeah  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry_

I looked around after I finished. Some people had tears down their cheeks, others were smiling, but everyone was cheering and clapping. "Thanks guys! Here's my last song; I wrote it last night and I just had to show you! It's called _The Only Exception_."

_When I was younger  
I saw my Daddy cry  
And curse at the wind  
He broke his own heart  
And I watched  
As he tried to reassemble it_

_And my momma swore  
That she would never let herself forget  
And that was the day that I promised  
I'd never sing of love  
If it does not exist_

_But darling,  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception_

_Maybe, I know, somewhere  
Deep in my soul  
That love never lasts  
And we've got to find other ways  
To make it alone  
Or keep a straight face_

_And I've always lived like this  
Keeping a comfortable distance  
And up until now  
I had sworn to myself  
That I'm content with loneliness  
Because none of it was ever worth the risk_

_Well,  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception_

_I've got a tight grip on reality  
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here  
I know you're leaving in the morning  
When I wake up, leave me with some kind of proof  
It's not a dream, Ohh_

_You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
You are the only exception  
And I'm on my way to believing it_

_Oh, and I'm on my way to believing _

People had been singing along at the end, and now they clapped harder and screamed. "Thank you so much!" I started to get up and they chanted: "Be-lla! Be-lla!"

"You guys want another song?" They screamed. "Ok, just one more, then."

* * *

**This will be continued, but in my opinion it's already quite long, so it'll be in the next chapter. I need you guys to tell me something: Do you guys want Bella to get along with Miley Cyrus? She's going to that party and according to your votes she'll wither be the sweet person Taylor and Demi say she is, or the bitchy person we see. It's up to you. BTW, she will get along with other Disney stars, and the upcoming Justin Bieber! I love that guy! LOL. So vote now!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok, guys, before I say anything, I'm sorry, because I know you hate it when I do this, but lately, I haven't been getting any reviews. I work really hard on these chapters, and I don't have Betas who check them and make sure there aren't any mistakes, or it's not too cheesy, or unnecessary, so I just go with it. But I need you guys to help me write. I know it's hard to review when you've got homework, but I have to read two novels for Spanish AND English, and the test for Spanish is on Wednesday, and for English next week, but I'm here, writing a chapter for you guys. I want to make you guys happy because I made a super-long chapter for Catch Me and it's so weird, and I posted it on Friday and so far I got..... (wait for it) only one review! That's right, just 1, one, uno solamente. So please review. **

**Anyway, I know I took a little while, but I just started school, and my mom won't let me use a computer with Internet. My little HP Mini only picks up Wi-Fi, and only if it's available, and I think it's pretty unnecessary to say we don't have it at mom's house. Anyway, I write the chapter on my laptop, and then pass it to the site. I kind of feel like I'm only doing filler, because it's so much longer until Edward comes back. I'm sorry! Someone asked, so here: Bella has to release her single, see how popular it is, do her video, her album, be on a talk show, (which incidentally is going to be the Ellen DeGeneres show, being recommended to her by her good friend Taylor Swift), and there they talk and she talks about Edward, and Alice tells Edward to watch, and ... I must say no more. Before you begin, there are a few things that I don't know how they happen, or if they happen like that at all, so let's pretend they do. After all, I'm no Pop star to tell you how you make a video. On with the show:**

**

* * *

**

**BPOV:**

I dropped into bed, oh so very tired. I sang an encore before I got off, because I'd already sang too much. Seriously, people, Taylor Swift is the main act. Her manager made her sing two more songs so she'd look like she was the main act. She laughed about it afterwards, but it still bothered me some. I was to go to the studio tomorrow around seven so I could record a few more songs and get a mani-pedi, and then I'd meet my publicist and manager, and then we'd discuss ideas for a possible video for _Bottom Of The Ocean_. We'd talked about this, but it had been very vague, and a video couldn't _be _vague. It had to be defined and a work of art, according to Britny and Syndey anyway.

I put an alarm and fell asleep, too tired to even take off my tight jeans. After the concert, I had dinner with the stylist, where she talked non-stop about how my hair looks best, what color eyeshadow makes me look natural, different, mysterious, crazy, and devilish, while I _hmm_'d and _ah_'d in all the right places. I didn't really even notice how she kept talking about how I couldn't use blue all the time and had to find other colors that looked great on me, how I should work on my balance, how I should get into yoga, and how I.... Blah, blah, blah. I didn't really catch much of it, except when she said she was effed up that our dessert hadn't arrived yet. That shocked me that she would use such language. I mean, sitting behind us was a family of four, the youngest being a seven year old boy, then a twelve year old girl who looked like she was about to scream, and parents that looked really effing irritated, to use her choice of words.

I needed to sleep, and my alarm brought me out of a very odd dream, indeed. I was floating in water, (I have no idea what that's about), and I saw a flame in the water, and I was loosing consciousness and I saw Edward. Was he going to save me? That didn't seem likely, because he was just standing there, telling me to "keep fighting" and to "not give up". As I lost it, my loud alarm went off. At least I didn't drown. God, that dream was so realistic. It was like it was really happening. And the flame in the water. That was officially the weirdest dream ever. Oh, well, my mind works in strange ways, doesn't it?

I took a short shower and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and flip flops, (I'd left some flats at the studio), and put my hair in a high pony-tail, grabbed a bag and my guitar, and went down to breakfast. Today was the last day set for a show, and then Taylor would be going to New York for a photo shoot and I would be back in school. It would be so weird to be back in school after a whole week of meeting with Taylor Swift, Mr. Webber, and all these people that were working to make me a singer. I put that out of my head as I got out of the elevator and went over to the buffet. I got a bit of everything on my pate as always and began nibbling on a piece of buttered toast while I made my way to a table. I ate in silence, then I noticed I had to be going, so I walked outside and asked the valet parking dude for a cab. He called one and said it would be here in about ten minutes. Then a girl around maybe thirteen or fourteen appeared around the corner.

"Oh my gosh! You're Bella Swan!!!!!!!!" She screamed. "Oh, can I please, please, please, take a picture with you? My friends and I were screaming our heads off at your show yesterday!" She took out a camera and ran her hand through her hair a bit. She came and stood next to me and I put my arm around her waist and smiled while she did the same. The valet parking dude took the picture and the girl took out one of those flippy phones. You know, like the Sidekick? She texted faster than I could see and pressed send, then out of nowhere, fifty girls were running in from everywhere, holding little notebooks and pens and cameras. I just stood there like an idiot. The valet parking dude, however, was faster and he told me to run inside. I did so, almost tripping over the hem of my jeans.

The girls followed me inside, and I said: "Hey, hey, wait!" They screamed. "Hold on!" Most of them stopped screaming, but kept squealing. "What do you guys want?" I half yelled. The screaming began again. I heard 'pictures', and 'autographs', and even an odd request of 'pants'. I yelled: "I have to be at the studio in a little while, but make a line and I can take pictures and sign autographs, I guess!" And they made a line. I took pictures with girls taller, shorter, younger, older, thinner, and wider than me, I signed little notebooks, I signed phones, and iPods, heck, I even signed the white part at the front of a bright blue Converse shoe. I signed the last picture (I don't know how she got a picture of me), handed the girl back her purple sharpie and ran outside. I got in the cab and amazingly, I wasn't late when I got to the studio. I mean, I was flustered and shocked, and a bit surprised, but I wasn't late.

I ran to the recording booth Briana told me to go to and arrived at six fifty-nine, breathless. Briana was there, and she had seen me breathless enough times to know that I just didn't want to be late. She smiled at me as she opened the door and let me in. I smiled back and settled in a chair and grabbed the guitar nearest me. I started strumming tunelessly until all the thingies were on and I could start recording. I got my sheets of paper and recorded like three songs (_Distracted, The Outside, _and_ See You Again_). I recorded them several times because with each one I hit a note wrong. When the guys got here, I told them how I wanted that and even started tapping the beats for Joey on a tabletop. They recorded the instruments in to perfection, and I was insanely happy. Even the song about not fitting in sounded upbeat; just like I wanted it. And then Chelsea dragged me off to another room to get my mani-pedi.

She sat me in a chair and immediately two blonds took off my flip flops and rolled up my sleeves. They began pampering every bit of my feet they could get their hands on while Chelsea showed me different colors to use. A weird purple, a bright blue, a too-yellow yellow, a way too bright pink, a white color that was even whiter than vampire skin, and black. Purple is awesome, but is was such a weird shade, the bright blue and the dark blues I'm always wearing would not clash, the yellow looked like a good sunshine, the kind that you never saw in Forks, pink is just so... _pink, _and white brought back odd memories I didn't need. For some reason I wanted black.

Chelsea was all for it, for some reason. I guess she thought it would look cool. I let her paint my nails, and they did it with such care you'd think they were recreating a Picasso. I laughed internally. When they were done with my fingers, they dried them and let me strum freely on my guitar. I wasn't actually thinking of any song, but I found myself strumming to a Taylor Swift song, for some weird reason. Then Chelsea told me to change into some skinny jeans and a baby blue blouse to meet my new publicist and manager. I changed and slipped into some dark blue heels and silver jewelery, and I have to say, it looked pretty darn good.

Then Britny, Briana, Mr. Webber and I walked to the room where I auditioned. The Conference Room, as they called it. Britny and Briana were there because they knew me best and knew where to draw the line, and Mr. Webber was Mr. Webber. He got to do this kind of stuff.

We sat on the left side of the long table, and five minutes later, a man in a spiffy gray suit and a woman in jeans and a black blazer came in. The man had gray hairs in his short brown, and he had the kind of air that said 'No non-sense or you're gonna get it'. The woman, however, had dyed blond hair with blue streaks here and there, her jeans were ripped, her blazer sleeves were pushed up to the elbows, and the tank underneath was loose and blue. She had bangles and trendy bracelets, big hoop earrings, and a headband with a tiny stuffed bow on the left side. She had peep toe heels on, which only added to her trendy-ness, and she was carrying a huge handbag. Her hair was shiny and curled to perfection, her make up was oh-so perfect. She looked so beautiful she made me feel like I felt next to Rosalie; plain and average and ugly.

"Bella, this is Kristen Mella, she will be your publicist," Mr. Webber said. He pointed at Miss Glam. She stood up and held her hand out, which I shook with mine. "And Robert Glander, who will be your manager." He pointed at Mr. Spiffy. He merely nodded and smiled tightly.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you. Thanks so much for doing this. So--". Kristen Mella cut me off.

"Oooooh! You're that girl singing with Taylor Swift!" She squealed. "Oh! We're going to go shopping and get you glam clothes and into cool awards shows and talk shows and magazines! And you need to be friends with the right people! Which means yes Taylor Swift, no Miley-slut Cyrus!" She was jumping up and down clapping like London Tipton. I half-expected her to squeal "Yay us!" soon.

Mr. Robert Glander calmed her down and turned to me. "Sorry, but my partner was so excited for having a new client that she drank too much coffee, again. She's going to be handling where you are seen, when you are seen, and with who you are seen. What magazines have which pictures, and which shows you are on. I'm going to be handling pretty much everything else, with the help of Mr. Webber, that is." He finished his speech looking at Mr. Webber sternly. I nodded my head to no one and looked at Briana. She read the unspoken question in my eyes and said timidly but confidently: "Excuse me, but Bella has to go with us to get changed and then start talking ideas for a video, and she has to go hook up with the boys so she can get the instrumentals on a song. Thank you."

And we went back to the room and sat with Briana, Britny, Sydney, Chelsea, and the guy we worked with to make the artwork, and a few other production people I didn't know. We sat on a round table with me in the head. We all had sheets of drawing and normal paper, color pencils, normal pencils, and everyone had a folder with some things Briana had set up, and Sydney's boyfriend had a camera. Sydney spoke up. "Ok, we want this video for what song?"

A babble of voices broke out, which Briana ended with a whistle. "Bella wants it to be her first single, _Bottom Of The Ocean_."

Sydney nodded and looked at me. "Can you show us the lyrics so we can get ideas, Bella?" She asked. Everyone nodded and I held a hand up.

"The lyrics are actually in the folder in front of you. I think it's the first paper, if I'm not mistaken," I said. Everyone opened their folders and took out a piece of paper, then proceeded to reading. After everyone was done, one of the people I didn't know asked me to sing a bit so they knew how it went. I sang the first verse and chorus and they all nodded.

"So we have a slow, powerful, painful song, it mentions the ocean, and Ms. Sydney likes to make things symbolic, so we'll probably shoot on a beach, and you want it to match the artwork, so I think clouds and dark and gray and blues are good," said a man I'd never met before. Most of the others nodded, but Sydney looked pissed for some reason, and she glared at the dude who just spoke.

I liked filming on a beach, just not swimming in said beach while they were filming. "Ok, I like filming on a beach, but can I just walk along the shore? Because I certainly do not like to swim while being watched," I said. "Also, it would be perfect for it to be stormy and rainy and gray." A sudden idea hit me. "Hey, how about I walk along the shore on the beach in a dress, barefoot, while the sky is gray, and the waves are powerful, but they don't crash into me? And we could have a little part in the room where I'm singing about dreaming, and you could have like little memories playing and then me sitting in the same spot holding a teddy bear or something..." I trailed off as everyone widened their eyes. "What?"

"Sorry, Miss Swan, it's just that me and my team have never met any artist who knew what they wanted. I mean, I worked with Demi Lovato, and one element she always wants is her and her band performing. If you look it, every video except the _La La Land_ one her band is performing. And she lets everyone handle the rest with some pointers about things she would like," said the guy who recovered first. **(Author's Note: I don't know Demi Lovato, or anything about how music videos are made, but if you look it, every video except the La La Land one is her performing plus a little something more. So yeah.)**

"Okaaaaaaaaaaaay......." was the brilliant answer I could manage. "Well, then, I guess I'm a freak." Something beeped from Chelsea's pocket.

"Oh, it's time to get you ready for the show!" She stood up and grabbed my arm and pulled me out. "We'll continue this sometime next week. Anyway, we shouldn't be talking about this at all before we even know how the song itself is doing on the charts. BTW, Sydney's boyfriend, I don't know your name, so whatever, but are you done with the artwork? I want to see how it looks ASAP. We have to send someone to take it to i-Tunes so they release it. They don't do things like that, you know, but seeing her popularity I think they will. Tootles!" And she pulled me away.

She pulled me into a changing room, which had my name on it and a black glittery star. It was a small room that I'd never known the existence of until about two seconds ago when I found out it was mine. There was a vanity with millions of make up, moisturizers, jewelery, and magazines on top. There was a big chair in front of it, and the walls were painted lilac and baby blue. There was a big dark purple rug in the middle of the floor, and there was a white leather sofa against another wall. The room was covered in mirrors, and one wall was entirely a mirror. There were two racks of clothes in a corner, and a platform that held different types of shoes. Heels, platforms, Converse, boots, peep toes, any kind, it was there. It was sophisticated and so me. I loved it.

"I had it made as soon as you left yesterday. I've been working non-stop. Do you like it?" I shook my head. "Love it?" I nodded. She squealed.

She pulled me to the rack and made me choose an outfit. I wanted to really wow the audience today because they were going to televise it and it was my last show till only God knows when. So I picked skinny jeans, a deep blue cami, and a white sleeve-less shirt. It was loose, and Chelsea told told me I was going to put a jeans vest over it. Then I wore my ever-present Converse. And then she practically strapped me to the freaking make up chair. God, she's strong. I said: "Could we do something that looks kind of natural? Like light colors and stuff like that? I don't want to overdo it." She nodded her head slowly and told me to close my eyes. She started with a small brush around my cheeks, then something around my eyelids, and then some eyeliner, and mascara, and a painting brush for my lips. Then she tapped my shoulder and muttered: "Eff. I should have done the hair before the make up... Oh frickin well."

She curled my hair in Taylor Swift-inspired curls and let my bangs fall. They were long and they tickled my eyes. Anyway, then she put a little clip to pull back a few curls and then told me to open my eyes. I looked amazing. Like, really, really just amazing. And then she told me to put on the jeans vest. It looked nice and tight, but still me, just a little more edgy. And the clip had sapphires on it.

And then she told me to grab my guitar and bag and go. It was time for my last show. And I got in the car. And I was going with my manager and Chelsea so she could help with anything, and the publicist came along to take pictures. We got in the car and drove to the mall. There was a TV crew setting up and when they saw me arrive, a guy rushed over with a lady. "Hey, Miss Swan, can we have an interview?" The lady asked.

I looked at Kristen, my publicist, and she nodded. "We'll go set up your stuff in the back." Everyone walked off backstage while the guy got a camera. The lady started talking to me. "Ok, this is going to be featured on our recording of the show here for the seven o'clock news along you with and Taylor Swift's performances. It's not live, so no pressure. We can cut anything you want." The camera guy returned and the woman lifted a mic and the guy began rolling.

"Hello, Seattle! As you all know, Taylor Swift has been giving some free performances this week at the mall, and today is the last day. She has also introduced Bella Swan. I'm here with Bella now, before the show." She looked at me and I waved and smiled. "Bella, what's it like performing for you?"

She held the mic out to me. "Well, for me performing is like putting it all out there. Like I write a song, I record it, and then I perform it. And you know it feels awesome. It's amazing, and the fans have been wonderful, because they're here to see Taylor but they're cheering for me, and that's just a great feeling, you know."

She nodded. "So, what are you doing right now?"

"Well, I just started, and I've got a bunch of songs written and I'm recording them and just starting out. I'm just doing what I feel comfortable with, and I'm just writing and recording and I'm living in the moment."

"When do you plan to release your first single?"

"Well, we already have the artwork for the single, and I'm going to sing the song today, and if all goes well I think we're going to release it on i-Tunes next Tuesday. And I think that depending on how it does then we'll release a video for it. We're already working out ideas for it, but it's probably going to be on i-Tunes by next week or so."

"Well, that's really cool, then. So, my thirteen year old daughter told me the other day she was on a website and she saw you shopping with Taylor Swift. Do you like Taylor? Who are your best friends?"

"Well, Taylor is an amazing person, and she's very sweet and nice. And she's funny, too, and she makes me feel so short. She's so beautiful. And she's definitively on my cool people list. I don't know if we're really best friends, but I'd love to be, she's awesome. And my best friend is Angela Webber. She's very sweet and smart and she set up the whole thing with Mr. Webber, and she's just so cute! And she makes me feel very short, too. And then Alice. She's awesome, short, and I haven't seen her in a while, but she's still like my best friend. I love them all. I really love all my friends, they're amazing."

She laughed. "Taylor _is_ tall. So, uh, have you ever thought of acting? You know Taylor has a movie coming out soon."

"Well, I've been told that I pretty much suck at acting, and I can't lie at all, so I don't think that I'd be a very good actress, but if I could be like an extra or something that'd be fun. And I'm totally pumped for _Valentine's Day_. The movie, not the holiday. I think it'd be cool to be in a movie, but I don't know how to act, so, yeah." I chuckled humorlessly.

"So, are you in any relationship right know?" She wiggled her heavily penciled eyebrows.

"Umm, no. First, last and only relationship I was in ended in September last year, and I'm not looking for one. I don't mind being single, you know. It's not like I need a guy. Actually, most of the songs I've written are centered around this guy."

"Could we know the name of this guy?"

"I'd rather not say. It hurts."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry. Do you think he's watching now?"

"Probably not. I mean, why would he? He probably doesn't even know I'm doing this. I never told him I could sing. His sister, Alice, she knows, but I doubt she told him."

The guy from behind the camera gave her a thumbs up as I talked and now she said: "Well, thank you Bella, have a great show. Break a leg!" I thanked her and the guy stopped rolling and turned off the camera.

"Thanks. Really, Bella, thanks. So, have a good show." She shook my hand. "Ooh, looks like the fans are here!" There were already girls crowding around the doors.

"I better run then. But I have to ask, why did you want to interview _me_? Why not Taylor?" I asked.

"Because even though everyone loves Taylor Swift, everyone is going to love _you_ soon, and these are things that someone will record with their phone and when you're even more popular then these will be really interesting things to see. Plus, we interviewed Taylor the first day, so," she said. She wished me good luck again and walked off.

I shook my head and walked backstage. Chelsea sat me down in a chair and told me not to get nervous. Taylor was in the chair next to mine and she smiled at me. She was getting her hair done, and apparently today she was having half in a ponytail and the other half curly and down. She was wearing one of those many sparkly dresses that she has and boots. And as always she looked beautiful in it.

We were done with make up and going through the songs we were going to do when she came across _I'm Only Me When I'm With You_. "Hey, can we sing this together? It'd be an awesome finale."

I looked it over. "You don't mind it's about a boy?"

"No, no, no. It could be about friendship, and I like it," she insisted.

"Well, sure then. And, maybe we could record it together for my album..." I trailed off as they introduced me. I grabbed my guitar and walked out and propped the guitar up with the stool.

"Hey guys! Thanks for coming out!" Loud cheering. "Well, today I'm singing acoustic and instrumental, and we've got a surprise ending for you guys! Here I go!"

Music started and I began singing after the intro.

_I didn't know what I would find  
When I went looking for a reason, I know  
I didn't read between the lines  
And, baby, I got nowhere to go_

_I tried to take the road less traveled by  
But nothing seems to work the first few times  
AmI right?_

_So how can I ever  
Try to be better  
Nobody ever lets me in  
I can still see you  
This ain't the best view  
On the outside looking in  
I been a lot of lonely places, I  
Never been on the outside_

_You saw me there but never knew  
That I would give it all up to be  
A part of this  
A part of you  
And now it's all too late _

_So you see, you could have helped  
If you had wanted to  
But no one notices until it's too late to do anything_

_How can I ever  
Try to be better  
Nobody ever lets me in  
I can still see you  
This ain't the best view  
On the outside looking in  
I been a lot of lonely places, I  
Never been on the outside_

_Oh yeah_

I sang the next part slowly and carefully.

_How can I ever...  
Try to be better  
Nobody ever... lets me in  
I can still see you  
This ain't the best view  
On the outside looking in  
I been a lot of lonely places, I  
Never been on the outside_

_Oh_

_Oh_

_Oh_

_Oh_

As I finished singing girls screamed and cheered. "Thank you! Thanks!"

I adjusted my mic and the one for the guitar then sat on the stool and grabbed the guitar. I began strumming and then singing.

* * *

**Hey, sorry for not updating sooner, but I've had waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much school work. I wanted to update before the month ends, so I will, on the LAST day of the month. LOL. Please tell me your comments. Thanks. Bye.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey, sorry for taking so long to update. I've just been having lots of school work. Damn the person that came up with the periodic table. Nahir, a BFF, whispers: "He's already dead...." and I scream: "Well, then I'll revive him and kill him again after saying the periodic table was the worst invention of all time!" and she laughs. Yeah, I have fun BFFs.

* * *

**

**BPOV:**

_As I finished singing girls screamed and cheered. "Thank you! Thanks!"_

_I adjusted my mic and the one for the guitar then sat on the stool and grabbed the guitar. I began strumming and then singing._

I wanted to play some old songs. Not old, just songs I'd played before, so people would get used to them. So I was going to play an acoustic version of _Forever & Always_. I don't have to tell you the lyrics, do I? Because I'm pretty sure you already have them somewhere. People cheered and screamed, and I swear I saw some people singing along. Creepy.

Then I said: "Guys, thank you. Um, this is my last song for today. I wanted it to be special, and it's going to be my first single. It's coming out on Tuesday on i-Tunes, and here goes!" I'd already arranged it, and I queued the guy backstage and the music for _Bottom Of The Ocean_ started. I with the mic, I twirled and had fun singing the song of my life. Yes, it represents how I feel, and it will forever. Nothing will take this pain away.

I finished and bowed as everyone cheered. I put the mic to my mouth. I knew my forehead was sweating. "Thank you! And now here's TAYLOR SWIFT!" I ran off the stage and slapped Taylor's high five. She came out with her guitar over her shoulders. I could hear what she was saying as I walked out backstage.

"Hey, guys. That was Bella Swan, everyone!" Cheers. "Yeah. As you probably know, I have a new movie coming out soon, and I wrote a song for it. I wanted to preview the song here, seeing as it's already out in i-Tunes!" And she started playing.

_Today was a fairytale  
You were the prince  
I used to be a damsel in distress  
You took me by the hand  
And you picked me up at six  
Today was a fairytale_

_Today was a fairytale_

_Today was a fairytale  
I wore a dress  
You wore a dark gray T-shirt  
You told me I was pretty  
When I looked like a mess  
Today was a fairytale_

_Time slows down  
Whenever you're around_

_Can you feel this magic in the air?  
It must've been the way you kissed me  
Fell in love when I saw you standing there  
It must've been the way  
Today was a fairytale  
It must've been the way  
Today was a fairytale_

_Today was a fairytale  
You've got a smile  
It takes me to another planet  
Every move you make, everything you say is right  
Today was a fairytale_

_Today was a fairytale  
All that I can say  
Is now it's getting so much clearer  
Nothing made sense till the time I saw your face  
Today was a fairytale_

_Time slows down  
Whenever you're around  
Yeah_

_Can you feel this magic in the air?  
It must've been the way you kissed me  
Fell in love when I saw you standing there  
It must've been the way  
Today was a fairytale  
It must've been the way  
Today was a fairytale_

_Time slows down  
Whenever you're around  
I can feel my heart  
It's beating in my chest  
Did you feel it?  
I can't put this down_

_But can you feel this magic in the air?  
It must've been the way you kissed me  
Fell in love when I saw you standing there  
It must've been the way_

_Can you feel this magic in the air?  
It must've been the way you kissed me  
Fell in love when I saw you standing there  
It must've been the way  
Today was a fairytale  
It must've been the way  
Today was a fairytale_

_Oh, oh_

_Yeah, oh_

_Today was a fairytale_

People were cheering so hard. Since the single was already out, people sang along. Weird thing was, it actually felt like that song could explain some things. It felt magical when I was with him. Every thing did feel like a fairytale with him, (excluding the part where I was a damsel in distress), and even when he would wear the most casual of things and I'd wear a pretty dress with French tags that Alice picked out, I wouldn't look like I had the same degree of beauty as him, but he'd still say I was beautiful. Heck, he said I was beautiful when my hair looked like freaking hay!

"Thanks! Now here's _White Horse_!" Taylor said. She began strumming her guitar, even though off stage she had her own band.

_Say you're sorry  
That face of an angel  
Comes out just when you need it to  
I pace back and forth all this time  
Cause I honestly believed in you_

_Holding on  
The days drag on  
Stupid girl  
I should've known, I should've known_

_I'm not a princess  
This ain't a fairytale  
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet  
Lead her up the stairwell  
This ain't Hollywood  
This is a small town  
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down  
Now it's too late for you and your white horse  
To come around_

_Baby, I was naive  
Got lost in your eyes  
I never really had a chance  
My mistake, I didn't know to be in love  
You had to fight to have the upper hand_

_I had so many dreams about you and me  
Happy endings  
Now I know_

_I'm not a princess  
This ain't a fairytale  
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet  
Lead her up the stairwell  
This ain't Hollywood  
This is a small town  
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down  
Now it's too late for you and your white horse  
To come around_

_And there you are on your knees  
Begging for forgiveness  
Begging for me  
Just like I always wanted  
But I'm so sorry_

_Cause I'm not your princess  
This ain't a fairytale  
I'm gonna find someone some day  
Who might actually treat me well  
This is a big world  
That was a small town  
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now  
And it's too late for you and your white horse  
Now it's too late for you and your white horse  
To catch me now_

_Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh_

_Try and catch me now  
__Whoa, oh  
It's too late  
To catch me now_

People clapped and cheered. "Thanks guys! Here's one of my older songs. _Our Song_!"

_I was riding shotgun  
With my hair undone  
In the front seat of his car  
He's got a one-hand feel  
On the steering wheel  
The other on my heart_

_I look around, turn the radio down  
He says: "Baby, is something wrong?"  
I say: "Nothing, I was just thinking how we don't have a song."  
And he says_

_Our song is the slamming screen doors  
Sneaking out late, tapping on your window  
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow  
Cause it's late and your mama don't know  
Our song is the way you laugh  
The first date: "Man, I didn't kiss her and I should have."  
And when I got home  
Before I said 'Amen', asking God if he  
Could play it again_

_I was walking up the front porch steps  
After everything that day  
Had gone all wrong  
I'd been trampeled on, and lost and thrown away  
Got to the hallway  
Well on my way  
To my loving bed_

_I almost didn't notice  
All the roses  
And the note that said_

_Our song is the slamming screen door  
Sneaking out late, tapping on your window  
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow  
Cause it's late and your mama don't know  
Our song is the way you laugh  
The first dat: "Man, I didn't kiss her and I should have."  
And when I got home  
Before I said 'Amen', asking God if he  
Could play it again_

_Da-da-da-da_

_I've heard every album, listened to the radio  
Waiting for something to come along  
That was as good as our song_

_Cause our song is the slamming screen door  
Sneaking out late, tapping on his window  
When we're on the phone and he talks real slow  
Cause it's late and his mama don't know  
Our song is the way he laughs  
The first date: "Man, I didn't kiss him and I should have."  
And when I got home  
Before I said 'Amen', asking God if he  
Could play it again_

_Play it again  
Oh yeah  
Oh, oh yeah_

_I was riding shotgun  
With my hair undone  
In the front seat of his car  
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin  
And I  
Wrote down our song_

People cheered, clapped and sang along to her, myself included. I loved how she was so nice and sincere. She thanked the audience, waved to the camera, and proceeded to singing _Teardrops On My Guitar._

_Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see  
That I want, and I'm needing everything that we should be  
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about  
And she's got everything that I have to live without_

_Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny  
But I can't even see anyone when he's with me  
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right  
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night_

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do_

_Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?  
And there he goes, so prefectly, the kind of flawless I wish I could be  
She better hold him tight, give him all her love  
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause_

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do_

_So I drive home alone, as I turn off the light  
I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight_

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart  
He's the song in the car I keep singing don't know why I do  
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough  
And he's all that I need to fall into_

_Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see_

People cheered and sang along to the older song. I loved it. Taylor, meanwhile, was putting her guitar down. "Here's one of my most popular songs, followed by another. _You Belong With Me_!"She sang the mega-hit, (which I won't put the lyrics of because I'm sure you've heard it at least once or twice), and then sang _Love Story_, another mega-hit. It was actually the first Taylor Swift song I ever heard, and I completely fell in love with it.

_And I said  
Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone  
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run  
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess  
It's a love story, baby just say yes  
Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel  
This love is difficult, but it's real  
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess  
It's a love story, baby just say yes_

_I got tired of waiting  
Wondering if you were ever coming around  
My faith in you was fading  
When I met you on the outskirts of town_

I tuned the song out and refletcted on it. I had told . . . _him _he could take me anywhere he wanted, as long as I was with him. Charlie hadn't really approved all that much, but it really was a difficult love, and yet, it was totally, utterly and completely real. For me, at least. For those Spring months last year, at least. Yet, when I was running in Phoenix, my faith never faded. I didn't know he would come and save me, but I knew he'd try. Faith in that never wavered.

And now I wasn't waiting. I knew I really wasn't, because he told me he'd never come back. And I wasn't waiting, regardless of what Charlie, Jessica, or Renee thought, I wasn't waiting for him, because I knew he'd never come around. I came back to reality when Taylor was thanking the audience. I got back just in time-- my eyes were stinging.

"Thanks! Ok, you guys know this is my last show here in the Seattle Mall, so Bella and I wanted to end it with a blast! Bella come up here!" I walked from backstage and got a mic from the dude and got on stage. I was met by cheers and screams. "Thanks for coming out!" Taylor said. She hugged me and whispered in my ear: "Do you know the cords for the song? Cause you could sing the first verse and me the second and we both do the third, then the chorus you start and we both go at the middle." I nodded and let go of her.

"Guys, this is Bella's song. She wrote it, full credit to her, and we're singing it as a finale!" People cheered while I arranged everything. I got my guitar and adjusted the strings, adjusted the mic for it, got the stool and sat down. Taylor got another stool and the sheet of paper with the song and I began to strum. I started singing, showing Taylor how it went, how the melody went.

_Friday night beneath the stars  
In the field behind your yard  
You and I are painting pictures in the sky  
And sometimes we don't say a thing  
Just listen to the ra-i-in **(I know it's not how it goes, but cope with me here. You can imagine them singing that, right?)  
**Everything I need is right here by my side_

_I know everything about you  
I don't wanna live without you_

I started singing the chorus.

_I'm only up when you're not down  
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground  
It's like, no matter what I do_

And Taylor started singing along with me.

_Well, you drive me crazy half the time  
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true  
And I'm only me when I'm with you_

Taylor started singing, adding her own twist to the melody.

_Just a small town boy and girl  
Living in a crazy world  
Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true  
And I don't try to hide my tears  
My secrets or my deepest fears  
Through it all nobody gets me like you do_

_And you know everything about me  
You say that you can't live without me_

We both plunged into the chorus.

_I'm only up when you're not down  
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground  
It's like, no matter what I do  
Well, you drive me crazy half the time  
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true  
And I'm only me when I'm with you_

I played the cords and we both sang carefully.

_When I'm with anybody else  
It's so hard to be myself  
And only you can tell_

_That I'm only up when you're not down  
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground  
It's like, no matter what I do  
Well, you drive me crazy half the time  
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true  
And I'm only me  
Who I wanna be  
Well, I'm only me when I'm with you_

_With you_

_Uh huh uh, yeah_

People screamed and cheered. I loved how it sounded with her voice. I'd love to record it with her. I'd have to tell her that some time. Taylor was the first to catch her breath, so she spoke first: "Thank you so much for coming out! I'll be singing autographs tomorrow! Thanks! I love you guys!" And I said: "Thank you so much for having. Thank you, Taylor. Thanks for all the support. Thank you!" And someone signaled us to get off the stage. We walked out and hugged.

"You were amazing, Bella!" Taylor said.

"You were better, following my lead like it was your own!" I squealed.

"Well, it was pretty constant!"

"Hey, about the song...." She looked up, interested. "I'd really like if we could record it together. It sounded way better than anything I could have ever done!"

"Wow, Bella, I'd totally love that!" We hugged again, but we were interrupted by Taylor's manager.

"Taylor, I have someone special who came to see you!" she said. Just then, a girl with red hair ran at Taylor and hugged her around the neck. I'd seen pictures, and I could put two and two together. This was Abigail, Taylor's number one BFF. The one she sang about in _Fifteen_. They hugged, but instead of feeling like a third wheel, it felt comforting to watch them.

And Mr. Webber came in and said: "And Angela came over to see you here, Bells!" And Angela ran over and hugged me.

"Bella, you were amazing!"

In the end, Taylor and I ended up introducing our BFF to each other, and we went for ice cream. Then Angela and I had to leave. We had to go pack for my return home to Forks, but Taylor asked to speak alone with me before I left. We sat on a different table and she looked at me intently in the eye.

"Bella, I know you're such a great person, and you're going to be a big star, so I want you to know that after this, you're going to be dealing with gossip, mean bullies and other people who just mock teen celebrities for a living. But I'm always here." She smiled. "And Miley's party was cancelled, because she wanted to show the season three finale of Hannah Montana, but it won't be aired till March, and she didn't have the permission to do it. She's going to be hosting another more public party for her new movie anyway, which she _can_ show us. And she said it was fine if you tagged along. If you give me your e-mail, we can sort it out and keep in touch. I'm going to miss hanging out with you." She gave me a napkin and I wrote my e-mail there. **(It's not actually any real address that I know, but don't try and use it. It's not mine.)**My e-mail was: bellabee913 yahoo . com.

She thanked me and as we got up, she said: "Where do you live? Maybe I could go visit you some time."

I told her my address and she thanked me, we said goodbye, and I left with Angela.

All in all, I think I had a pretty good day.

And never once did it not cross my mind that... _he_ would have made it a little bit better. But he would never be by my side again. And I had accepted that. Now I just needed to stop fantasizing about it.

Angela and I went to my hotel suite, packed my stuff-- well, I did; she was too busy looking at the room in awe-- and we drove in my loaned car back to Forks. I dropped her off and went to my house. As I came inside, Charlie hugged me. "I missed you, Bells."

He ordered pizza, and while we ate dinner, we talked. He about everything that was going on, like all my friends calling to congratulate me, how great everyone thought I was performing on TV, and those bears wreaking havoc in the forest. I talked about how it was behind the scenes, how horrible it was to be pampered by Chelsea, and how nice and friendly and sweet Taylor was.

After dinner, I went to my room and flopped on the bed, falling asleep almost instantly. Not checking my e-mail. Not planning to wake up until at least ten tomorrow.

**What do you think? Good? Next chapter will be AlicePOV, and then we skip ahead a few months. Thanks! Review, and if you're reading Catch Me, then you know what's going on, and I'd rather you help out here with this story, too. Both of them boost my self-esteem. I need that. Thanks, bye.**


	11. Chapter 11

**APOV**:

I know it was completely wrong to want to get the message from Bella. I know she'd reply. I just couldn't bring myself to open it.

But I knew she was going to be live again on Friday, which was today.

Rosalie and Emmett were off on yet another honeymoon, Edward was in South America, Esme and Carlisle were out and about looking for some wallpaper that Tanya wanted for her room, all the Denali's were out on a visit to Europe, and Jasper was upstairs, thinking of a place he went to when he was alone, where there was a really good hunting ground. I already told him I saw that he'd seen it and I knew exactly where it was, but he told me that if I saw he remembered, then I should let him remember without telling him.

He could hear it if I turned on my laptop, or if I turned on the TV, or even if I sighed. I sighed, and heard him sigh too, and turned on the TV. I flipped to the channel where Bella would be performing. It was supposed to start in about half an hour. The reporter was saying something about how it was all a benefit week concert, and then the lady said: "Oh, before we start, we had a little interview with Bella Swan when she got here. Here's the clip."

As Bella appeared on the screen, Jasper appeared on my side. I got a vision. Edward, walking toward the Denali house. There was still some snow, so I guessed it was soon. I forgot all about it as Bella appeared on screen.

"Hello, Seattle! As you all know, Taylor Swift has been giving some free performances this week at the mall, and today is the last day. She has also introduced Bella Swan. I'm here with Bella now, before the show." Bella waved and smiled. "Bella, what's it like performing for you?"

"Well, for me performing is like putting it all out there. Like I write a song, I record it, and then I perform it. And you know it feels awesome. It's amazing, and the fans have been wonderful, because they're here to see Taylor but they're cheering for me, and that's just a great feeling, you know."

Bella was wearing a very stylish outfit. Skinny jeans from what I could see, a deep blue cami, and a loose white tank top with a jeans vest over it. Her make up was natural, with the lone exception of the eyeliner, and her hair was styled in Taylor Swift-like curls, while her long bangs fell. She had a clip in her hair that held up a few curls with sapphires on it. Just amazing. Edward would die all over again if he saw her like this.

"So, what are you doing right now?"

"Well, I just started, and I've got a bunch of songs written and I'm recording them and just starting out. I'm just doing what I feel comfortable with, and I'm just writing and recording and I'm living in the moment." Bella smiled unconsciously.

"When do you plan to release your first single?" The reporter had a persistent voice. And trust me, I know about persistent.

"Well, we already have the artwork for the single, and I'm going to sing the song today, and if all goes well I think we're going to release it on i-Tunes next Tuesday. And I think that depending on how it does then we'll release a video for it. We're already working out ideas for it, but it's probably going to be on i-Tunes by next week or so."

"Well, that's really cool, then. So, my thirteen year old daughter told me the other day she was on a website and she saw you shopping with Taylor Swift. Do you like Taylor? Who are your best friends?"

"Well, Taylor is an amazing person, and she's very sweet and nice. And she's funny, too, and she makes me feel so short. She's so beautiful. And she's definitively on my cool people list. I don't know if we're really best friends, but I'd love to be, she's awesome. And my best friend is Angela Webber. She's very sweet and smart and she set up the whole thing with Mr. Webber, and she's just so cute! And she makes me feel very short, too. And then Alice. She's awesome, short, and I haven't seen her in a while, but she's still like my best friend. I love them all. I really love all my friends, they're amazing." I feel touched.

She laughed. "Taylor _is_ tall. So, uh, have you ever thought of acting? You know Taylor has a movie coming out soon."

"Well, I've been told that I pretty much suck at acting, and I can't lie at all, so I don't think that I'd be a very good actress, but if I could be like an extra or something that'd be fun. And I'm totally pumped for _Valentine's Day_. The movie, not the holiday. I think it'd be cool to be in a movie, but I don't know how to act, so, yeah." She chuckled humorlessly. How true that was.

"So, are you in any relationship right know?" Bella's face took on a hurt look, but she hid it so quickly that maybe she didn't notice it.

"Umm, no. First, last and only relationship I was in ended in September last year, and I'm not looking for one. I don't mind being single, you know. It's not like I need a guy. Actually, most of the songs I've written are centered around this guy." Edward, I will kill you when you get here.

I heard a cry of 'Why?' from far away. It sounded like Edward's dead voice. Oh, for the love of all that is holy! I turned down the volume so only Jazz and I could hear it. Edward was at least fifty miles away. He must have yelled.

"Could we know the name of this guy?"

"I'd rather not say. It hurts." Eff you, Edward.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry. Do you think he's watching now?" Hell, no! If he does, he'll have my head. My pretty head. And then Jazz will have his.

"Probably not. I mean, why would he? He probably doesn't even know I'm doing this. I never told him I could sing. His sister, Alice, she knows, but I doubt she told him." Again, if I told him, then there is no way I'd be alive in this moment.

"Well, thank you Bella, have a great show. Break a leg!" Bella thanked the reporter and the clip stopped.

Jasper gave me a serious look. "Alice, love, you know that if Edward sees this, and knows it's about him, then he will never rest until he gets her back, and she won't get this chance. She needs this. Why don't we record it?" I nodded and he set it up, then I turned off the TV. Five seconds later, Edward-the-guy-that-made-Bella-miserable came in.

"Why'd you say you'd kill me, Alice?" He asked in the dead voice he'd been using for the past four months.

"No reason. Just thinking random things. You made her miserable. She's still hurting, and it's all you're fault," I said lightly.

Jasper winced visibly. I felt a wave of comfort wash through me. Edward was hurting. Was that good or bad? Was I supposed to be sad or glad? They were both hurting. Shit, Edward, get the hell out of my little head!

I knew he was peeking in to see what I meant. I started singing _Party In The U.S.A._ by Miley Cyrus, just because I knew he hated it. We all hated Miley Cyrus. It was just instinct. Her voice was no good, and with our enhanced hearing it was even worse.

"Alice, what are you blocking?" Edward asked, sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. He was trying to figure this out. Too bad he never would. Until it was time.

"Time for what?"

"Nothing, dear brother, nothing at all," I said in a would-be sweet voice. "Just that, um, yeah, we were having so much fun alone, me and Jazz." Edward snarled low in his throat. I knew he didn't want to hear what Jasper and I had been doing as mates. He didn't want to hear what he could have had.

"Alice, stop," Jasper said, putting a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see his pained expression. Right, he's feeling Edward's rage and desperation and sadness. It was so strong it was almost tangible. Out of the corner of my eye, I think I saw Edward look at the TV, as if he was suspicious of what I'd been watching. Now way he would decipher it.

"Decipher what, Alice?!" he growled.

"Nothing. Um, I'm going hunting. Jazz, you coming?" He nodded and we ran off, but not before I threw a thought at Edward that made him stiff, thinking for so long that when we got back he was still in the same position. '_Don't turn on the TV._'

..........

**BPOV:**

It has been such a rush.

Alice doesn't answer my e-mails, but I tell her everything. I forgot, it's been three weeks since we released my single on iTunes. We had to pay a fee, but within three days, it was number one. And it's stayed there. Charlie gave in to the homeschooling idea since I was so busy that out of a five-day week, at best I went a few hours. So, yeah, now, between photo shoots and recording sessions, I go to school on a chair with a tutor. She's cool, though, and she knows about my problem with balance, so she's not making my take PE. Bless her.

If you're wondering about the video, well, I can assure you that was a lot of fun. We're so close to Forks and La Push, that the guys decided to ask if we could film there. Billy was very adamant about not letting some random people across his land, until I came out of the bus and asked very politely. He was saying a sorry 'No' when Jacob saw me and began asking, too. After five solid minutes of Briana, my manager, my stylist, Sydney, Jacob and me begging, Billy gave in, saying we could only film along the shore and in the beach. I said a very long thank you, and that was all that we needed. Then Sydney started talking to him about what they needed while my stylist looked at the sky, and how dark and cloudy and perfect for the video it looked. And Jacob suggested we caught up.

We talked, and it was just like before; easy and fun. Until he asked about.... _him_. He actually asked if I'd heard from him. I responded with a sad 'No'. Then he asked if all my songs were for him. I looked away until he said: "I get it." Then we went back to talking about random crap that I forgot s soon as Sydney came over to say we had to pick out a dress and some angles because we'd start shooting tomorrow. Fuuuuuuuun.

And I said goodbye to Billy, Jacob and Charlie, who'd come down when Billy called. Charlie wished me luck as he hugged me goodbye. I thanked him and got in the car.

The video was supposed to start with me looking into the camera, standing in the lonely beach, which is cloudy and calm. As soon as I started singing, I'd start walking along the beach, hugging my elbows because it's supposed to be cold. As I sing the chorus, I'd be lying in my room on the bed, looking at the ceiling, with an expressionless face on. When the '_In a dream you appeared, for a while you were here_' line goes, I would close my eyes and we'd film a little sequence of random things with a cute actor. I didn't specify how _he_ looked like, so it was a random person. And then you'd see me at a school, talking to some actresses, but Taylor and Angela would be there, talking to each other, but looking at me, and I'd just be moving my lips, singing, while trying to ignore the school noise. Also, just in case, we'd be filming me walking down a broken and deserted street while it was pounding rain, making me soaked, and since this was Forks, it would not be CGI rain. And then I'd be back in the beach, walking, and for the end, I'd mouth 'I love you' and turn away. We were filming the whole song in each setting to see which parts would be best. They were also making a set instead of using my actual bedroom, which I found completely satisfying.

My manager told me I'd be meeting the actor tomorrow, and that in the beach and street, I'd be wearing dresses, and no shoes. But it was worth it when we shot it. Sure, meeting the actor was awkward at first, but he was a nice guy, and cute. And it wasn't awkward to snuggle because neither of us meant it. And then it was going to premier on after the airing of some show. We were watching at the studio, and I have to say, it looked WAY better than I thought it would. And the next day, on i-Tunes, then sale rate went so high.

Life is on the fast lane now. I'm going off for a photo shoot with Tiger Beat Magazine in L.A. and the paparazzi were following my every move. Good thing I picked out something nice.

And then we released _Distracted _as a second single, and the sale rate went super-high, too.

And now I'm in the studio with Taylor. I should probably mention it's April. See, she liked _Forever & Always_ so much, we decided to record it as a duet. It'll be twice on the album, first as just myself with the piano and then me and Tay-Tay with a faster track. It was fun singing with her.

I also went to the Kid's Choice Awards, even though hardly any potographers got pictures of me, I wans't presenting and I wasn't nominated, and I was definitively not performing. Just goes to show. Show what? I don't know. But my publicist told me to go, and she said she wanted me to meet Justin Bieber, so I could leave a good impression on some people. Let me tell you, Taylor Lautner was busting out of that jacket! And he's so sweet. And cute. And Justin Bieber is sweet, too, as is Nick Jonas. Joe was with Demi and Kevin with his wife, but they were all nice to me.

And as I said before, now life is speeding up for me. I hardly go to Forks anymore, so I've decided to buy a house or an apartment around L.A., and Mr. Webber's setting up a studio for me there. And the album's getting ready. It's going to drop the day one of my fans graduates: May 25.

I think that's all I can say now. So goodbye. For now. Bye.

* * *

**I'm going to skip a bit for now. And I was thinking about maybe making Bella a Twitter and FaceBook page, just from this story, so you could have a better idea of how she does and stuff. It'd be managed by me, and I'd probably upload pics of myself, because I imagine myself as Bella in order for the whole thing to work. Anyway, tell me about your thoughts on this, the chapter, the KCAs, and maybe follow me on Twitter because I just made the account like 5 seconds ago. LOL. But seriously, about the Bella getting all the movie deal and the Twitter, help me choose.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys, I was wondering if you wanted to make a FaceBook and Twitter for Bella. Like, just for this story. Anyway, this is just so when Bella says she Tweets something, it can actually be true. LOL. Anyway, this is skipping a little, so it's almost her release date for the album. It's May 10. Just so you know.

* * *

**

**BPOV:**

It was early in the morning. I had actually gotten a nice apartment in L.A., and at just the right time, too, because now I was all over the place promoting the album. Like I was right now, on the way to the Ellen DeGeneres Show. I was halfway there, with Chelsea at my side. She was doing my hair and make-up when we got to the show.

**30 minutes of insane Hollywood driving later**

We were backstage, and I was wearing a dress. It was about three inches above the knee, lilac and cute. My hair was curled, but my bangs had completely grown out, so now I had a small portion of the bangs in the left side, and that was as long as the layers, while the right side was about an inch below my eye, but now they were both visible.

My make-up was, as always, natural, except for the eyeliner I almost always wore. And Ellen DeGeneres was wearing her usual. And she was getting ready to introduce me. I had a mini-mic attached to the neckline of my dress. And Ellen DeGeneres always gives something away, so I was giving out a coupon for a free copy of my CD, valid for a week.

"Today we have a very special guest. She's young, she's talented, and my goodness she's so cute! Welcome, Bella Swan!" Ellen announced.

_Forever & ALways,_ the version with Taylor Swift, the faster one, played as the live audience cheered. I walked out the side, waving and smiling. I was painfully aware that these shoes had a very high heel. And how short this dress actually was. But nevertheless I hugged Ellen and gave her a peck on the cheek and waved hello to the audience. I waited for Ellen to motion for us to sit, like I'd seen her do.

And when she did, I sat and smiled at her.

"So, how are you? It's the first time on this show for you, right?" she asked.

"Yes, it is," I said.

"Great, then, um, you know Twitter?" I nodded with a small 'Yeah.' "Great, do you have one?"

"Um, no. I do not. My friend Angela keeps telling me to get one, just to make it clear, because she has one and she says there's like a fake person, and they're like: 'Hey, wassup guys? Just hung out with Justin Bieber! we might do a duet soon!' and stuff like that and it's like," and I shrugged.

"Oh, well ya heard it here first, people. Until now, Bella Swan _does not_ have a Twitter." People laughed, which I found totally random. "And you got an album coming up, right? What's that like?"

"Oh, yeah, it's big. I mean, like, it's not the same as releasing a single. This is the big one. Yeah. It'll be released in just a little more than two weeks. We're counting down the days." I smiled.

"Oh, and uh, there are, what? Two duets with you and Taylor?" she asked. "Cause I've heard you guys are friends. She was on a little while back and she said you're on her Cool People list."

"Oh, well, Taylor, if you're watching, Thank you so much. You're definitively on my Cool People list, too." I waved. "Angela and Alice, too, if you're there!" I waved and smiled some more. "No, but seriously, they're great. Taylor's such an amazing singer, and to have her vocals on my album was such a blessing. They are actually two songs that I wrote, and one we co-wrote together. Anyway, they are amazing songs, and, I hope you like them." I finished with a laugh.

"And, uh, so you're doing a movie? What's that like? Because I heard you say on a blog that you've been told you're horrible at acting," she finished with a laugh.

"Yeah. I am doing the movie, though. It was such an amazing opportunity, working with Pierce Brosnan, and Jessica Alba and such actors as experienced as that. And I love the script. I can't reveal anything yet, but I can say this much: If you liked 'Remember Me' with Robert Pattinson, then you're going to like this one as well. But it is a great story." I smiled.

"When do you start filming?"

"Oh, see, the director, which I've received orders not to reveal, wants to film during the summer. We're going to start around June fifth and we'll be wrapping around August. And Demi and Angela will be visiting the set often, so it'll be ok," I provided.

"And how's it like working with Disney princess Bridgit Mendler and Logan Lerman?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"I haven't met Bridgit yet, but I've seen Good Luck Charlie, and I really like her." Cue the smile. "As for Logan Lerman, what can I say? I saw the Percy Jackson movie. I love his eyes." People laughed and I giggled. "No, no, it's true! I loved the movie, so I read the books between takes for my video, and while I recorded songs. They're really good. And then on Disney, like, in March, they played Hoot, another movie he was in. And I really like it, too." I smiled. "It'll be really great, working with them."

"Good, good, so you're working with people you know." She smiled. "Yeah. And, there are a lot of rumors going around about you dating Taylor Lautner. Tells us about that."

"No, no, I mean, he's a nice guy and everything, but like, we're not dating." I was blushing so hard.

"Oh, I've heard of your blush. Apparently, you blush a lot." She laughed. "No, but seriously, how are you dealing with all of this? I know you're new to the whole 'Hollywood' thing, and sometimes it's too much for some people."

"Yeah, it is sometimes. I mean, when I'm home, or like, talking to my Dad, or something, it feels normal. But then I get a call from Taylor, or a Tweet from Demi, or I go online and like, see a picture someone took, or how much my singles are selling, and that's when it feels kind of crazy." I giggled and she laughed. "No, but it's true. Six months ago, I was a normal girl, doing her homework with her friend, worrying that her father would get home safe."

"Yeah, yeah, cause your father's Chief of Police, right?" I nodded. "And how are your parents handling this?"

"Oh, um, my Dad was there when I signed the contract, and he's been really supportive, and my Mom. Well, I wanted to surprise her and tell her when the single cam out, but.... she beat me to it. She saw a performance and she was really glad I had a talent." Everyone laughed. "No, seriously, because of my poor balance, no one thought I could do anything."

"Ah, well, we've seen you can do wonders when you're on stage, right?" The crowd cheered. I smiled. "So, uh, any chance of seeing that in the movie?"

"Uh, I don't know. So far, the character likes music, but in the book, cause it's based on a book, the girl can't sing. Or at least, like me, she can't do high notes. I mean, if I try too much, it doesn't come out as nice. It comes out thinner. But anyway, the girl doesn't sing, so I don't think they'd get me to sing in the movie. Maybe something for the soundtrack by my name, but I don't think anything like performing," I said.

"Oh, well, it looks like we have to take a commercial break. When we come back, Bella's gonna talk to us about boys, her album, and her move to L.A.," Ellen said. And the camera zoomed off and she stood up. "Ya did great, honey, but when you talk about boys, don't keep it as open. Be vague. Keep people wondering. Ok, I gotta go get some water. You can stay there, if you like." And she walked off.

I was getting nervous as the people in the audience watched me like I was some monkey in a zoo. I had to perform _Forever & Always _and that song always made me nervous, because it was so powerful to me. I didn't write it like all the other songs, after I snapped out of the pain. I wrote it when I was numb-- unfeeling. Like how it says in the lyrics. And it always remembered me of that.

And in my nerves the two-and-a-half minute break passed and Ellen was running to sit next to me. As the camera zoomed back in, she said: "Great story, Bella. Oh, and we're back. Now, Bella here is going to talk about boys, her album, her move to L.A. and her upcoming FaceBook and Twitter." The crowd clapped and Ellen smiled. "Now, look at you. You're young, just eighteen, and so beautiful, so I'll bet you've had quite some boyfriends, right?"

"No, actually. Just one." I blushed.

"Just one? Really? But, uh, you've had crushes on other guys, right?" Ellen seemed surprised.

Briana was mouthing 'LIE!' from the audience. I didn't know what to do. Oh, God, please.

"Um, yeah, like, two guys in middle school and then one in high school, and then my boyfriend last year." Where the hell did _that_ come from?

"Oh, well, can you tell us something about these guys who were lucky enough to get your attention?" I decided to play mysterious.

"That would be too much information, now wouldn't it? I can't say much," I said, smiling slyly.

The audience laughed and I faked a giggle.

"Now, we know your album's coming out soon.... What makes it so special?" Ellen smiled.

"Oh, well, it's my first album. It's the big one. And, you know, it's like a diary. Sadly, some songs couldn't be included, but it's some of the old and the new ones." I took a deep breath. "It's weird, because a year ago if you told me I'd be one the Ellen Show, talking about my upcoming CD, I would've had you committed." Everyone laughed.

"Well, a year later and it seems like you're off to a good start," Ellen said. "Now, you had to move so that you could keep up with the CD and everything. Tell me about that."

"Yeah, the move was really hard because I'd just moved in January last year with my dad, and now I'm moving so far away, and I'm living alone. And some people love to live alone, but I don't like seeing a mess and knowing I'm completely responsible for it." Ellen laughed. "No, but it's weird, because now my parents and I stay connected via Skype and e-mail, and sometimes they come see me. My mom's loving it." I smiled. "She loves the apartment. It's very relaxed and Zen, but it's got funky, cute touches, like some purple and blue and lilac, and my mom's really into that. She likes it."

"Oh, well, that's good. Now, you said before you don't have a Twitter," Ellen stated. "Are you planning to get one? How about a FaceBook?"

"I don't have any of those right now that are public, but I'm going to get the Twitter soon because it's an easier way to connect to fans, and you can tweet whatever and help people keep track of what you're doing. I'm probably gonna get it when the CD comes out, and I already picked out a username, so it's gonna be in code all over the lyric book in the CD. As for FaceBook, well, I don't know. That's up to my publicist. SHe doesn't think it's such a good idea right now. Because, you know, I don't want to seem like I think that I deserve everything and that I'm the most popular thing out there, because I don't, so we're not doing that yet," I said. "I do have an e-mail for fans, though. It should appear below me, right? It's bellyboobotorocketmail . com. E-mail me if you want," I finished.

"Ok, quick, we have time for one more question. Now, I know you met Miley Cyrus, through an event, so, what's your opinion on her?"

I blushed. "Ah..... um...... I don't think I should say. I mean, I like her lyrics, but nothing else. I saw The Last Song, and it's a beautiful story and all, but she can't act very much. And I did meet her, and I don't know, but she wasn't exactly very nice to me. She was only letting me in because I was with Taylor...." I said.

"Wow, um, well, we've got another commercial break, and then we get to hear the lovely voice of Bella Swan!" And the camera zoomed out again. "Miley was like that? She's usually such a sweet kid," Ellen told me in a low voice.

"I don't know," I said. "But I remember her glaring and ignoring me. Anyway, I should get to the stage." I stood up and took the mini-mic off my collar and walked to the stage where there was a lone mic.

Some guy backstage yelled: "Five till we're live!"

And the camera zoomed in to Ellen, who was standing just off to where I was. "And here is the lovely Bella Swan!"

The piano music for _Forever & Always_ began and I sang the song, all the while trying not to cry. I had deep feelings that I was constantly hiding. And when I sang the song, I got a standing ovation.

"Thanks Bella! Don't forget tomorrow, when we have Dakota Fanning talking about her new movie! Bye!" Ellen and I waved. The camera zoomed out and I shook hands with Ellen.

"Thanks for being on the show, Bella," Ellen said.

I thanked her and walked to Briana, who congratulated me. I changed and we went to BK for some lunch, Angela tagging along. She was taking a vacation for a little while, here in L.A. with me. She was staying in the guest room at my place, but she didn't want to wake up for the show.

And that was my crazy first interview with Ellen DeGeneres.

And afterwards, for the next fourteen days, it was promotion this, interview that, sign this, answer that, etc. I was really glad to have Angela there, and Dad was coming the day of the album release. Which is tomorrow, and I was going to a special store in L.A. to celebrate it with the fans that showed up.

I consider myself very lucky to have this opportunity, and to have all the success that I've had with it, and I hope this is only the begining.

I'm signing off now, drifting to sleep to the same dream. It still scares me, but I do not scream anymore. Because I know exactly when to stop it and turn it into a better dream.

* * *

**What did you think? Um, this is like, really pretentious, (if I spelled that right), but I made Bella an e-mail so you could like as her for advice and send her random stuff. It's bellyboobotorocketmail . com without the spaces cause then you wouldn't be able to see it, I think. And her twitter is bellabooboto, her name being Bella Swan from BOTO, BOTO being Bottom Of The Ocean. If you want, follow her. I'll be tweeting stuff with that account. And my account is adriswifty13, if you want to follow me. Hope you liked it. Review please. Bye.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Anyone following Bella on Twitter? Sorry I didn't update in so long. I had to learn three scripts, change and direct and act in a two-scene play for school, tons of homework, and I had to learn an Apache dance for an event at school. AND I just didn't find inspiration. You can follow Bella on Twitter bellabooboto and me adriswifty13.... Review!

* * *

**

**BPOV:**

Cast list for _"It's A 'Once In A Lifetime' Thing"_:

Nick- Logan Lerman  
Taylor- Bella Swan  
Sammy- Bridgit Mendler  
Brandy- Emma Roberts  
Mom- Sandra Bullock  
Dad- Pierce Brosnan

That was the main cast list. We also had Jessica Alba and it was tentative for maybe a role for Johnny Depp. I wish. He'd be playing the teacher closest to me, who would help me through everything. I was holding the script in my hands, the one I had received just a few hours ago. The movie was scheduled to begin filming late in June, and it was hardly the first week, but I was already nervous and excited.

We were driving past the studio, Angela and I. And we were blasting Miranda Cosgrove's CD. Amazing, by the way.

Angela had never really been in L.A., though she'd visited like four times. So I was driving my new car, touring her around the city. She was staying, as usual, in my apartment, and we were meeting Demi Lovato for lunch after we drove past the HOLLYWOOD sign. We were close, and Angela wanted a picture with it to show Jessica and Lauren. I don't know why she'd want to show those petty newly grads pictures of us, but she said they didn't believe the 'Bella Swan' everyone was so crazy about wasn't me. And how pictures would prove them wrong, I didn't know. But Angela was Angela, and if she wanted to take a picture by the HOLLYWOOD sign, then darn right she would.

We took the picture on my iPhone and Angela sent it to herself by e-mail so she could later send it to Jessica and Lauren. Then we got back in my midnight black Audi S5 and drove to the pizza place.

Now, you might think I'm living the life, but I had black vans tailing me, and cameras flashed every time I looked somewhere. Heck, some blog would probably post the pictures of me and Angela by the HOLLYWOOD sign before she could send them. _That _would be proof.

I parked my car and put my Ray Bans on, then lead Angela towards the back door of the place. Demi was waiting for us there. She was wearing skinny ripped light jeans and a loose blue stripes T-shirt, paired with Converse and her Ray Bans. And she looked beautiful, as always. She saw us and waved over to a table, where we sat. It was waaaaaaay in the back, and there was no way any paparazzi could see us.

Angela was beside herself with excitment. She was such a big Demi fan. She was practically shaking.

"Hi, I'm Demi," Demi said, looking at Angela.

"Uh, I'm-- um, I'm Angela," she stuttered. They shook hands, and almost immediately, Angela asked for Demi's autograph. Demi couldn't help those puppy-dog eyes and she caved and signed Angela's white tote bag.

We ordered our pizza and Demi turned to me. "How are you liking Logan?"

"Logan Lerman?" I asked, just to be sure.

"Duh! Which other Logan have you met?" She obviously meant it as a rhetorical question, but I had an answer ready anyways.

"Logan Ray, from my junior class in Phoenix," I said.

"And don't forget Logan Paxton, that freshman in Forks," Angela added.

"Yeah, yeah. How do you like him?" Demi asked.

"I haven't met him. He seems so sweet, but I couldn't tell you. I'm meeting him when we rehearse, which is in like two weeks. And by then you'll be getting ready for tour, right?" I asked.

"Yeah." She sipped the water the waiter placed in front of her. "So, I was listening to your album, and I love it so much, so I thought for something, we could do like a duet...." She left that hanging.

"Us? A duet?" What I was feeling was probably not showing on my face, because Demi quickly back-tracked.

"I mean, if you want to." She shook her head. "Because your vocals are so amazing and we could write a really cool song. If you want."

"Oh my gosh, Demi, it's like, yeah, I'd love that." She smiled and we talked about random things, and then our food came and we ate. After we were done, Demi excused herself and said she had to go, and Angela and I called Selena.

"Hey, Bella?" Selena's voice came through the speaker.

"Hey, Selly! What are you doing?" I asked. Angela walked away to keep herself from squealing.

"Um, just hanging out in my room. Why?" I could hear pop music in the backround.

"I'm with Angela and I was wondering if you wanted to go bowling or something," I offered.

"Sure, let's go to that one in that mall where we bought those sparkly shoes. Remember that place?" I nodded, then realized she couln't see me.

"I nodded. Yeah," I said.

"Come pick me up in twenty minutes. I'm at my hotel. You know, the one next to the studio?"

"Yeah, the one with the pool and the slide. Cool, I'll meet you there." I hung up after a brief goodbye. Angela skipped over to me.

"We're going bowling with Selena Gomez?" she chirped.

"No, Selena _Freakitup_! Which other Selly do I know?" I asked sarcastically.

"Uhhh, no. She's the only Selly we know," Angela said.

We got in my car and blasted _Blah Blah Blah_ by Ke$ha while we drove to get some fruit smoothies. After twenty minutes, I drove to Selena's hotel, where she was waiting for us in the front. Of course, people, mainly paparazzi, knew she was staying, so when my car turned and they saw me and Selena getting in, pictures snapped and I was almost blinded.

"This is why I prefer Seattle," I said as Selena strapped herself on in the back and I drove off. "Not as many photografers and nowhere near as much news about celebs."

"Ah, quit your whining." She smiled to let me know she was joking. "Wait! Turn here!"

I quickly turned and took the street she told me to take. "Why are we going this way? The other way is faster."

"Did you not _see_ those vans? If we don't criss-cross and zig-zag around for at least ten minutes then they'll get more pictures than the ones of you and Nick on your FB profile. Just take as many turns as possible," Selena explained.

I nodded and took turns, twists, weird streets, and after about fifteen minutes, Angela reported the vans weren't following us. Then I ungracefully tried to get us back on the road that would eventually lead to the bowling alley.

"BTW, I'm so into it!" Selly said from the back. I was on a red light, so I quickly looked to see what she was talking about. She was on her phone, writing a message, probably Twitter or FaceBook or MySpace. Angela was on her iPhone on FaceBook, and she showed me her post. A picture of me, her and Selena, with the message: _iGoing bowling w/ Selly and Bella. OMG!!!!!!!_

The light changed and Selena put her phone down while I sped up.

"Did you know Logan Lerman is doing an interview for the movie right now and he said he's very excited to work with you and that he thinks you're very talented?" Selena asked.

"I knew there was an interview today!" I yelled. Selena and Angela giggled. "What?"

"You're playing the main character, and yet you aren't at the interview?" Selena gasped through laughs. "That's......."

"That's _what_? Huh?" I challenged.

She didn't answer, however, because just then the guy at the gate for the parking knocked on my window. It was tinted glass, so I rolled it down.

Let me say that after _him_, I don't really look at guys. I mean, sure, I recognize Taylor Lautner and Logan Lerman are cute, but I'm not into them. But this guy was sorta cute in a way. He had tousled black hair, green eyes, and pale skin. Once he saw who I was, his jaw dropped and he stuttered.

"Can I just have my parking ticket, please?" I asked politely. I was nervous because I knew the paparazzi could show up any minute. Just because we lost them doesn't mean there aren't more. "Sir?"

"R-right!" He blushed and scrambled around his desk for a ticket, and he printed it out, and handed it to me.

"Thank you." I rolled the window up and drove around the lot, until we finally found a space. We got out and pulled up our hoods and put on our sunglasses. We scurried in the door and paid for our lane. We bought some sodas and waited for the others to finish with the lane.

Once they did, we grabbed our shoes and played an epic game. Thanks to my great balance and gracefulness, I only tripped, oh, a couple dozen times. Selena totally won the first game, with 198 points, while Angela came in second place with 153. I finished with 139. It was embarrassing. And there were so many people taking pictures of us laughing and joking around and just bowling.

After around five Selena asked me to drop her off at Demi's, and after I did, Angela and I went to my apartment and I made some pasta. We ate and watched some TV, and by eight, Angela called her parents, and I called Charlie and Renee. Afterwards, Angela called Ben, her year-long boyfriend, while I took a shower. Then I called Taylor and we went to sleep.

Just another day in the life.

Except even though I didn't tell you, my day was haunted by _him_. While we were bowling I found myself thinking how much more fun it would be with _him_ there, and in the most unapproprite moments, I found myself thinking of him, and thinking of how horrible it would be to have to act like I love Logan Lerman when I loved......... _him. _

I fell asleep thinking of those short months that would always be the best of my life, even if the past five had been amazing.

* * *

**What did you think? I'm sorry this chapter was so short and such a disappointment. And I'm sorry the next few chapters are probably gonna be filming the movie, some concerts, days out with Angela, and possibly some interviews. I'm not gonna give out the whole plot, because this is a story I actually wanna write. Please review and remember to follow Bella and me on Twitter. The address is above. Bye.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hope you liked the quick update. I know this chapter kinda disappoints, but we're getting there. I assume this story will be like maybe 20 chapters. Anyway, I hope you like it. Please review. Enjoy.  


* * *

**

**BPOV:**

"Okay, I think we're done for today!" the director yelled out. I dropped my hands from Logan Lerman's and smiled at him. Bridgit was supposed to be standing somewhere behind me and we had plans, so I was turning to find her when the hand I'd been holding only seconds ago grabbed my arm.

"Wait up, Bella," Logan said. I turned and looked at him.

"Yes?" I asked, ever so polite.

"Would you like to go to dinner?" he asked. He smiled at me in that cute, confident way of his.

"Sorry, Logan, I already have plans." I started to turn, but he held me back.

"With?" he asked, just the hint of curiosity that he always used when asking questions about me.

"Bridgit. We're changing and then going down to Pizza Hut for some dinner," I said. "It's too bad we had to film the Prom sequence in an actual school during the night, because most of the shots were against walls, anyway."

"Yeah." Then he brightened up. "Can I come with you guys? I could bring Alexandra, I think she's in town."

Alexandra, as in the girl who played Annabeth Chase, Alexandra?

"Um, Alexandra Daddario?" I asked, just to be sure.

"Yeah, if you want," he said.

"Sure! But only if she wants to come." He nodded and I found Bridgit and we walked towards the dressing room we shared.

"Told you he was gonna ask you out," Bridgit said, walking towards her bathroom as she kicked her silver heels off. "God, I'm so happy Brandy only wears flats! These shoes are so uncomfortable after standing in them for three and a half hours."

I sighed as I took mine off and started removing the corsage from my arm. "Yeah, well, you only had at best five lines in that scene, and you didn't have to cry, kiss or yell at anyone. It was an unscripted kiss, for crying out loud!"

She laughed as she went inside the bathroom with her clothes folded. As she closed the door, she said: "Chris and I took a bet that he would do that. I'm thirty bucks richer thanks to that unscripted kiss!"

"Ugh!" I went inside my bathroom with my clothes on and changed, then e-mailed Alice. I knew she never answered, but it was like a form of therapy. What I couldn't tell Bridgit, or Angela, or Selena, or Demi or Taylor, I told Alice. And I had to tell her Logan Lerman asked me out and I declined, because if I told anyone else, they'd be shaking me, asking if I was insane.

Bridgit beat me and got all her make up off and undid the bun in her hair before I could get the pins and mascara out. They only pulled some of my hair back to give the illusion that my hair was waaaaaaaaaay curlier than it actually was, so they just took the top and pinned it to the back in a half-pony. We were keeping our hair curly, but the make up all came off and we put on our own. Then we called Selena and Logan, who arrived with Alexandra Daddario, and drove in my much admired Audi to the Pizza Hut.

And yes, if any of you are wondering, Alexandra Daddario's eyes really are that bright and blue.

I parked and we all pulled up our hoods and walked into the restaurant. Don't ask why we do that. We just always do. It's like a sixth sense.

We ordered some bread sticks and the pizza, and then Logan started making jokes about how I always look at Bridgit when I can't remember a line.

"That is so not true!" I squealed.

Then Alexandra Daddario seemed to noticed who was sitting beside her.

"Oh, my, you're Bella Swan!" she squealed. Thankfully, she knew not to squeal loudly, because then people would notice. "I love your CD. When Logan told me he was filming with you, I couldn't believe it."

"I can't believe you were Annabeth Chase! You know, I really love that character," I said.

"Um, hello, Bella?" Bridgit interrupted Alexandra and me from saying how stupid and yet smart it was from Rick Riordan to make Annabeth unsure whether she loved Percy or Luke.

"What?" I asked, playfully impatiently.

"I was saying that every time we do a scene where you have to cry, you get this haunted look on your face, and then tears just flow freely, but controlled. Just wondering how you do that. Cause for the show, I had to cry in one episode, and let me tell you, it was not pretty!" She laughed. "Oh, Jason pinched my arm from behind and Mia started crying. And we ended up with the drops in the eyes. I can't do that."

And I'm sure my face took on that look from before. I knew what I thought about to bring tears in my eyes, and I knew what it did to me. And I'm sure at least Logan and Bridgit saw the face return as I remembered, but neither mentioned a thing. Instead, they asked me something I'd actually like to talk about.

"When are you touring, Bella?" Bridgit asked.

"Um, right after we finish filming there are some TV appearances and interviews and then I pack up and get ready for tour, but by the time the movie comes out I'll probably be done. I mean, it's only a US tour, even though I'm gonna try to squeeze in a Puerto Rico show one night," I said.

"Cool." Bridgit sipped her water, and I knew she really wanted to ask me something. She always grabbed anything edible when she wanted to talk.

"What is it, Mendler?" I snapped jokingly.

"Wanted to--." She had started talking while there was still water in her mouth and she spit a little bit of it out, the rest coming down either her shirt or her nose. "Oh, that's gross!" she yelled. She started dabbing at her shirt and her face with napkins while we watched, amused. When she was done and there was nothing more she could do, our bread sticks arrived and she glared at all of us in turn.

"You could have helped me, you know," Bridgit said as she reached over and grabbed a bread stick.

"Yeah," I said, nibbling on one. "But that wouldn't have been nearly as fun."

Everyone laughed, as I smiled. Even Bridgit smiled. We ate in silence, except for when Logan asked Alexandra if she knew whether they were doing the second Percy Jackson book as a movie. She replied she didn't know, but she hoped that they wouldn't change her favorite line in the book.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Oh, where Percy asks Annabeth her biggest flaw and she says 'Hubris' and then he says 'Isn't that what you put on vegetables?' and she says 'That's hummus. Hubris is worse.' and he says 'What could be worse than hummus?' That line always makes me laugh," she replied.

"Oh yeah, that's like one of my favorites." We ate in more silence until Bridgit caved.

"Bella, will you please call my cousin?" she exploded.

"What?"

"Call my cousin. She's like seven and a huge fan of yours and she found out we were playing best friends and she wants you to call her," Bridgit said. She took a deep breath and calmed herself. "I'm sorry she's so annoying. All you've gotta say is 'Hi, I'm Bella Swan.... Bye' and hand the phone back to me. Please?"

I considered it. Okay.

"Dial the numbah," I tried. She smiled in that amused way of hers when I did something stupid that was also funny as she pulled out her outdated phone. You'd think that her being so cool and awesome, she'd have like an iPhone or a Sidekick or something, but she had a really old, beat up phone. The kind that was so old, if your parents had it, you'd try to walk away if they answered the phone in public. Anyway, she dialed a number and passed the phone just as I heard a shrill voice yelling: "Bridgit! Bridgit, is that you?!?!"

"Umm, hi," I said.

"Who's this?!?!" the voice yelled.

"Um, I'm Bella Swan," I said.

"Holy crap! No way!" the voice yelled.

"Um, yep, I am."

"Prove it!" the voice yelled.

"How do I prove I'm Bella Swan?" I asked. The whole table snickered.

"Sing."

I put my hand over the receiver and told the the guys: "She wants me to sing. I don't sound like I do on the CDs when I sing quietly, but I can't sing loud or everyone will know we're here!"

"Um......" Bridgit and Alexandra were thinking hard, but Logan was calling the waitress, asking how much longer our pizza would take. Figures. He'd probably want to take it Carry-Out. "Ooh! I got it!" Alexandra took out her bag and started looking for something in it, but apparently didn't find it and proceeded to look in _all _her pockets. Finally, she came up with an iPod Touch.

"How's that gonna help?" I whisper-yelled.

"Hello?!?!?" the voice from the phone yelled.

"I have some of your songs. Just play this into the receiver and sing a little and no one will know," she explained.

"Brilliant!" I grabbed her iPod, turned it on and looked for the music. I played _Distracted_ and sang along to it for about ten seconds. "Well?" I asked into the receiver.

"That's not Bella Swan!" the voice complained. "That's some wanna-be with an iPod."

It hadn't occurred to me that normal people don't have their songs with music on their iPods and it would be very weird for me to be singing with music.

"Well, fine!" I said. "I'll sing."

Logan had our pizza and drinks ready to go anyway. And I doubt the world is like _Hannah Montana_, where she gets mobbed every time she is recognized. I mean, Taylor goes by fine. Look at us, we were sitting in Pizza Hut without even signing autographs.

"This is something new I've been working on," I said.

_You might be crazy  
But have I told you lately  
That I love you  
You're the only reason  
That I'm not afraid to shine  
_

_And it's crazy  
That someone could change me  
And no matter what it is  
I have to do  
I'm not afraid to try  
And you need to know that you're the reason  
Why_

The girl one the other end was screaming her head off, and some teenage girls in the front were looking at me.

"You _are_ Bella! OMG!" the girl on the other end yelled.

"Gotta go!" I hung up the phone and passed it to Bridgit. The girls in the front were whispering, and other people had noticed my outburst. We left forty bucks on the table and walked out of the restaurants front door, looking for my car. And of course, there was paparazzi everywhere. We smiled and waved, which was hard for Logan, considering he was holding the pizza, and as soon as I found my car, we got in and I drove to the nearest park. As I parked the car, Logan scoffed.

"This is where we're eating?" he asked.

"Do you want to go back to the hotel swarming with Percy Jackson fans?" I asked. Bridgit and Alexandra laughed, but I'd seen him react to the fan girls on-set. He was freaked out.

"Why don't we sit by this nice tree over here?" he said sarcastically.

We laughed and sat under the shade of a tree, the only light a lamp post from about a few feet away from us. The paparazzi could get pictures of this and I wouldn't care.

We ate and I drove Logan to the lot where he kept his car, who was going to drive Alexandra to where her car was.

"Promise me we'll hang out later," she said before she got in Logan's car.

"Sure. Just call him and we can hang out." I smiled and waved and she got in. I walked back to my car and drove to our hotel.

See, all of us from the movie who were just starting out were staying in a nice hotel. The superstars like Sandra Bullock and Pierce Brosnan and Johnny Depp were staying at a hotel so fancy I felt out of place, walking in there in jeans and a sweater.

Bridgit and I were changing to go to bed (Yes, we share a room. We're close now, okay?) when my phone beeped. An alarm saying what time I needed to be up tomorrow for shooting and to pack the rainbow swimsuit, because we were gonna shoot the pool scene tomorrow.

I fell asleep and was haunted again by the memory of how I cried on-demand.

* * *

**APOV:**

I love Bella Swan music.

There, I thought it. I was safe, though. Edward wasn't really here.

He wasn't oblivious to the whole 'Bella's a famous singer now' thing, but he wasn't into her music like I was. He didn't listen to her songs. Every time I thought a song, he would rush out. I was a huge fan of hers, and I knew she was filming that movie with Logan Lerman, and I knew he liked her.

I checked the daily gossip, only to see a very surprising headline.

**BELLA SWAN'S NEW MAN**

**I'm sure we all know about how teen-pop sensation Bella Swan writes her own songs. And how they're mostly all centered around one boy. Well, we have the exclusive scoop on who might be her next song inspiration!  
You know she's filming with Logan Lerman, and we've kept you updated on what friends and co-stars like Emma Roberts and Bridgit Mendler say. He was crushing on her and about to ask her out. And you also know how his best gal friend is Alexandra Daddario. Well, we caught Bridgit, Logan, Bella and Alexandra out at Pizza Hut, and then they all went and ate pizza at the park. Sounds like a perfect excuse for Logan to get Alexandra's approval of Bella. And they seemed to hit it off.  
What we think is that if the sparks flying from the set and their characters hasn't rubbed off yet, it certainly will. They seem like they would make a cute couple, don't you think?  
Leave us a comment below and check back for more Lella updates.  
--Gossip Chickadee**

I would _know_ if Bella was dating Logan Lerman. She e-mails me all the time, and she would've told me. Plus, I would have _seen_ it.

I know she's doing a great job with the movie, even if she couldn't lie before, but she got the part for something, right? Anyway, I had to get her with Edward. In all her e-mails, she always told me how something reminded her of him, and how at least once a week she'd break down crying in bed, and have the dream she'd been having. And I knew he wasn't so well off, either.

I just had to find a way to make sure he knew she would never stop loving him. Of course, her first single was proof enough of that, but he wouldn't listen to it. Or any other Bella Swan song, for that matter.

I just had to find a quantifiable way. Like a live interview, or something.

This was going to be complicated.

* * *

**What did you think? Was it good? Was it suckish? Write back and let me know. Also, Edward will come in in about like two or three chapters. I think. Review! Bye! **


	15. Chapter 15

**Hope you liked the quick update. I know this chapter kinda disappoints, but we're getting closer. I assume this story will be like maybe 20 chapters. Anyway, I hope you like it. Please review. Enjoy.  


* * *

**

**BPOV:**

_I don't even care when they say  
You're a little bitt off  
Look 'em in the eye  
I say I can never get enough  
Cause it's all right  
Keep it together  
Wherever we go  
And it's all right  
Oh, well, whatever  
Everybody needs to know_

_You might be crazy  
Have I told you lately  
That I love you  
You're the only reason that I'm  
Not afraid to shine_

_And it's crazy  
That someone could change me  
And no matter what it is  
I have to do  
I'm not afraid to try  
And you need to know  
That you're the reason  
Why_

We cut the session just after the second chorus. It was late, and I had an early shoot tomorrow. By the way, that song was for the movie, for the soundtrack.

"Goodnight guys," I said as I left the studio.

Angela was back in Forks, studying her butt off for college and I was in L.A., recording, scheduling cover shoots, taping, and scheduling TV appearances. And tomorrow I filmed the ad for my tour. It was such a rush, and to think that a year ago, I'd been cuddling up to.... _him_. And know I was recording, taping, filming and booking. I was such a lucky girl.

I got in my car and drove to the hotel, and when I got there, some paparazzi got a few pictures, in which I tried to smile despite how freaking tired I was, and then I made it to my room. I showered and updated my Twitter, which I'd made after Logan and Angela convinced me to, and then I surfed the channels. I found something interesting on ABC, and I watched the re-run as I waited in my PJs for the room service to get here.

It was an uncensored and yet censored show, _Ten Things I Hate About You_. It wasn't Disney crap, like all girls talk about are shoes and boys, but it wasn't _all_ bad and dirty. I knew I wouldn't get it if I started watching from the middle, so I gave up and rented the whole first season, or what was out so far, and watched it instead.

After about ten episodes, I was all like, _Poor Cameron_. And that son of a gun Joey! Who does he think he is?

I devoured my steak when it got here, and I knew I should be getting to bed early, or at least soon, since it was already 11:30 p.m., but I couldn't seem to stop watching. It was getting late, but I was absorbed with Kat breaking so many rules, and Bianca being such a bitch to Cameron. I started to feel slightly better when Bianca tried to become friends again with Cameron, but it's just impossible, and besides, why is she dating Joey anyway? He's so stupid. (No offense to anyone who thinks they are the perfect couple.)

I sighed when I saw the last episode, then freaked out when I saw the time. 2:46 a.m. How had _that _happened?

I Twetted that I was obssesed with the show, then turned off the lights and tried to fall asleep.

But sleep evaded me as images of how perfect Patrick and Kat were together, two very different people who were meant to be together regardless. It suddenly occured to me how much that was like the movie I was making, but I only made that comparison because I knew even though it applied to my previous relationship, I didn't want to compare it. It was like the movie, however, because even though he was a rich boy, he wasn't spoiled, like most of the other characters in the story. My character, Taylor, had everything she wanted, but she wasn't spoiled. Because she apreciated what she had.

And she never thought a boy like Nick, Logan's character, would fall in love with her. Because she, like myself, thought she was average. And yet, she was so different from him. He was a rich boy who had everything, and yet he had nothing. His parents only saw him as their heir, and his friends saw him as the one who paid the bill after dinner. With Taylor, her parents and sister loved her, and her friends were real friends who loved and cared about her. And she had a random, likable personality, while Nick was just quiet, mysterious, and homeschooled.

And it was different, because against all odds, they both fell in love, and like Kat and Patrick, they had their little fights, but they were also strong and similar. And I fell asleep remembering how _he_ and I had been, knowing our love had been stronger than Taylor and Nick's would ever be.

..........

I woke up to my damn alarm, knowing full well I had to be at the lot in an hour and I'd only slept four hours during the night, thanks to the marathon I was watching.

I was sleep deprived, and I was hoping a shower would wake me up, but had no such luck. I drank a frapuccino, again hoping for some perkiness, but I was still sleepy. I was so out of it I had to call a cab, simply because I was in no state to drive, and I could ride with Bridgit because she had an earlier taping today and left way before I did.

I called the cab, but as I got in, I had the feeling someone was watching me. _Probably paparazzi_, I thought. I glanced discreetly over my shoulder, but I saw no one. Besides, the staff made sure no paparazzi got through the gates. I was just being paranoid. Probably a product of staying up so late.

As I rode to the lot, the make up artist told me I looked like a mess, and I had to explain that I stayed up late, which earned me a disapproving stare. She tried to get rid of the circles under my eyes and did my hair and make up for the first classroom scene. I went to the dressing room, where Bridgit was changing from her date dress to her school clothes, and I changed from my sweats to my school outfit, too. Now I had to admit that as two of the mildly popular girls in the school, my character and her best friend has style. It was a random style, yes, but it was style.

I was wearing white skinny jeans, and since it took place in a sunny place, a purple tank top. Thing is, for the role, I actually had to have a tan, so I got one, and let me say, it didn't look so me, so they changed it back to the regular skin tone, just not so pale. Purple looked good on me. Anyway, I was wearing the white skinny jeans, the purple tank top, and blue cardigan over it, and my worn out Converse, and my hair was straight and pretty, and my bangs were brushed to the side.

Bridgit, or Brandy, was wearing a baby blue skirt that was a few inches above her knees with a white, fitted shirt and blue flats. Her hair was curly and there was a pin holding a bit of it back in a braid, like in _Good Luck, Charlie_.

We smiled at each other, a signal that we both looked fantastic, and grabbed our school bags and walked outside.

We were filming pretty much the intro to the movie, where I explain what's going on, who everyone is, etc. But as I walked from the dressing room to the set, I felt eyes on me. This time I _knew_ there was no way in hell it was the paparazzi because this was a closed set. I kept glancing inconspiciously around me, trying to see who was staring, but who I thought I saw made my eyes sting, and I couldn't cry because of the damn unnoticable mascara I was wearing.

"Let's hurry," I told Bridgit. "I think Logan's waiting, since we've got the rain scene right after this one."

Bridgit, to my relief, nodded, and we both walked hurriedly across and got to the set, where while the director explained the smallest details, some of the crew reapplied some stage makeup and went around making sure the props we needed were there. Then I stepped into the set, Bridgit on my side, Jennifer Stone on the other, playing one of my other best friends. The director yelled action.

"C'mon girls," I said. We linked arms, me in the middle, and walked through the cafeteria. "This is our time."

We sat in our table and Brandy and Cassie, my friends, started talking as I got the faraway look in my eyes, staring at space for exactly thrity seconds, before Cassie snapped her fingers in front of my eyes.

"Whoa! What the heck?" I asked.

"You were spaced out again, Tay," Brandy said. "Why is it that before we get our lunch, but after we sit, that you always start thinking and forget us?"

"Sorry, girls," I said, trying to sound apologetic. "I'm just _so_ not looking forward to tonight."

"Ten bucks says she's got a date with one of the guys her mom picked out," Cassie said, tapping her forehead and smiling in that 'Oh-I-Know-This-So-Well' way.

"No. She's got to tag along with Sam on one of her dad's dinners to meet a family!" Brandy guessed.

"Bingo! Give the ten bucks to Brandy, please," I teased, smiling.

The girls laughed and Cassie took out a ten dollar bill, and then I stared into space again until the camera zoomed out, knowing full well the spaces that weren't filled with talk would be as I explained.

"That," the director said after he yelled cut, "was great. And Bella, great spacing out. It didn't seem like you were about to fall asleep, but you weren't totally alert, either." I smiled at the others. "However, I think we should do another take. This time, hold your head in one hand and stare at the other side, okay? That way we have different sides to choose from."

I should probably tell you the set was filled with other teenagers, all of whom were going about as if they were actually having lunch in a school cafeteria. People were walking around, some were eating, some were talking, some were laughing.

We re-shot the scene, with the new directions from the director, and then Bridgit and I said goodbye to Jennifer, because she wasn't in as many scenes as we were, and she wasn't filming more today.

Bridgit and I walked back to the changing room and changed into a different school outfit, still cute, but this time, it was a different scene, emotionally and otherwise. Bridgit and I were going to walk in, only to find the boy I was totally smitten with talking to the principal. He'd walk up and kiss me, and then Bridgit would storm off, not able to believe I hadn't told her I was dating someone. When I wasn't.

But again, as we made our way back to the set, this time an outdoor set (It was sunny. Thank God, because if not we had to film the cryig scene.), I felt the staring again. I tried to convince myself I was just being paranoid and sleep deprived, but I swear, someone was watching me.

We got to the set, and oh, my God, it looked so beautiful. It was like a little meadow, with some stone benches around, and the sunlight was like a halo of golden light across the whole place. Amazing. And there had to be a few students around, so a a girl with light brown hair in a lilac blouse was sitting in one of the benches with a binder open in her lap, and a book bag at her feet, and some skater dudes were skating across the sidewalk. Of course, there was an arc that had the school name, which was intended to be the entrance, this being the yard.

"Okay, you guys are walking in, disscussing how much fun you had at the sleep over, when Nick sees Taylor and comes over and kisses her, and then Brandy just watches, and when they break apart, you see your friend has been lying to you and you just storm off, pissed. Got it?" We nodded and he yelled action.

We walked in, walking slowly, Brandy looking around, hoping to see Jeremy, her crush. "It was too bad, though, that Amy didn't show up, don't you think?" she was saying.

"Yeah, but she can't eat chocolate, and then we wouldn't have been able to do that mask thing," I said, expecting Logan soon.

"Right, right, cuase she's allergic to--." Logan turned and saw me, and he walked over, silencing Brandy.

"Oh, Taylor, I was begining to worry where you were," he said. I smiled, trying to get my eyes loving as he leaned down and kissed me. I closed my eyes and kissed him back with all Taylor had, just as the script said, and when I pulled back, Brandy yelled.

"You lied to me!" she yelled.

"What are you--?" I stopped short as she stormed into the school. Then I turned to Nick. "Why the hell did you do that? I told you it was one time we saw each other. A once in a lifetime thing. Did you have to ruin my friendship, too, not just my outlook on love!?"

"But, I transfered so we could be together," Nick said, sounding confused. "So that it wouldn't have to be a once in a lifetime thing! Doesn't it count what I feel for you? What I did? What we felt?"

"Not now!" I yelled. The students were trickling in, since it was close to the bell. "Brandy needs me! And I told you not to! Go away!" I ran into the school and left him standing there, one camera filming my back, at the same time his face, and another filming me as I walked into the school. I stopped as the director yelled cut and felt someone looking at me again. I looked around, and this time I saw that person again, and the hole in my chest ripped open. I dropped to the floor, holding my torso, trying to keep the tears in.

"Bella, come on, we gotta do another take," Logan yelled. I slowly stood up and found the strength to go and film the scene again, but I told the director I felt sick and asked if I could go. He said yes, because he needed to catch up with some Nick scenes anyway, and I changed into my sweats and Bridgit drove me to the hotel.

I sent an e-mail to Alice and went to my room and cried until I fell asleep, because I felt so emotionally drained, knowing my brain was doing this to me. Because there was no way he was here now.

Because the person I'd seen watching me was...... _Edward._

**What do you think? Sorry for the late update. Review. Thanks.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for reviewing. Two updates in one day. I must say I'm proud of myself for this. It's just what you guys wanted. Review, please. Enjoy.**

**BPOV:**

The movie was done filming, it was very early August, and I was recording the voice-overs for the movie. It had been fun, filming the movie, and I'd made so many new friends, and I got a chance to show everyone I can act.

"See, for me, life is simple. You go to school, take your classes, talk to your friends and ignore the popular girls' snide comments about your rich daddy. Then at home--" That was when Cassie snapped her fingers in front of my face. I was watching the parts of the movie I had to narrate to have a reference. "As I was saying, at home, it's slightly more complicated, because my father closes deals and investments, and he's mostly either traveling or at the office. But when he's home, it means to savor the moments...... or he's closing a deal at dinner and we all have to go. Which was happening tonight."

I took off the headphones as the guy fast forwarded to another scene and I looked for the right papers. Then he gave me the thumbs up and started recording.

"At home, there's my sister, Samantha, or as I call her Sa-devil, and my mom and dad. Mom's fun, but she's strict, too, and dad...... well, when we see him, he's funny. That's why he loves these dinners, because his partners see how he's not some business robot and take him up on the offers." there was some dialogue between the mother and Taylor, in which she told Taylor to wear a nice dress and heels. "Forgot to say, mom's a fashionista, too. And she hates it that I could have designer clothes, but I only wear jeans and T-shirts, which isn't mostly true."

There was more dialogue and then I said: "What I hate most about these dinners is that you never meet anyone interesting. All of the girls are snobby and stuck up and wearing Gucci and Prada. And the guys are all excessively dressed and think they're the Hottieof the Year, and they try flirting and getting you to drink a beer or champagne, and then, well, dot dot dot is all I should say. I never had trouble with them, because mostly I steered clear of them and texted back and forth with Brandy."

More dialogue and then it zoomed out. The guy told me what scene he was going to put, I looked for the paper, and then repeated the cycle.

I did this for an entire week, mostly because they wanted you to feel everything you were supposed to feel, and my voice-overs and the music were supposed to help with that.

Then I finished recording the song for the movie and went to my apartment. Renee was staying withme this week while Phil played in San Diego. She was happy to drive my car around, but with her driving skills, I was afraid for my Audi. So she waited for me and when I was done, which was usually around noon, and then we had lunch. Today we went to Wendy's and afterwards I had to go to a photo schootfor the movie with Logan, Bridgit, Emma Roberts, who was playing my sister, and Jennifer Stone. Mom watched as they changed me into the cute sundress (in which I was barefoot) and the light make up for the photo shoot and then the darker, prettier dress withthe heels and the darker make up, and then the casual, school clothes with Converse.

Then they brought in Logan, wearing his casual school clothes and his sneakers, and there were pictures of us staring at each other's eyes, on of me with my hands on my hips, looking at him disapporvingly, and smiling coyly. Then of him holding me, his arms around my torso, his eyes loving as he looked down at me. Then Bridgit and Jennifer came in and we did our signature poses, then some of them with their hands on their hips, looking disapprovingly at Logan while I leaned against his shoulder, smiling.

And that was it for the promotional shoots. Then Renee and I went to the movies and watched a randomly chose one, and then she said she had to call Phil. I told her I had to record a video for the next week, and she said it was okay, since Phil was going to have to go back to Florida to train and she wanted to go with him. I drove us home and then she packed and got a flight ticket. She left and I was alone again.

And withno one withme, it felt like I was being watched again. Sure, this is not safe for a celebrity, but I mean, I felt watched. And all the time I was around L.A. alone, or sometimes with friends, I felt watched. And I saw him. Around. In fact, I saw him so very often I expected him to pop up behid me and yell: "BAZINGA!" I mean, he couldn't _actually_ believe I didn't see him.

Anyway, I tried to shake it off and watched some TV, until an announcement for the Teen Choice Awards came on. I was bored, so I decided to go online and vote.

And I could not believe no one told me. I was nomimated for two Teen Choice Awards. And the award show was in two weeks, and I was invited. OMG, you know what, I'm going. And I'm going to wear white.

I called Chelsea, my stylist, and we began working on the dress, the shoes, and the purse, and she booked a flight for tomorrow. We hung up and I decided to tidy the house up a bit, and then called Taylor Swift to tell her I was bored.

"Why don't you go hang out with Logan?" she asked. "I mean, aren't you two dating?"

"No, what gave you that idea?" I asked.

"Everyone's saying you are," she said. "Maybe you should publicly speak about it."

"Okay," I said. "How are you?"

"Good, but mostly tired," she said. "Are you going to the Teen Choice Awards?"

"Yeah," I said. "Did you know I'm nominated for two?"

"Yeah, you don't know how many times I've voted for you," she said. "How about we ride together?"

"Yeah," I said.

"How was the movie?"

"Oh, amazing. It was so much fun!" We talked a bit more and then she hung up, and I was bored again.

I decided to post on Twitter I wasn't dating Logan, and then within an hour it was all over the gossip sites.

..........

I was walking down the red carpet, posing for pictures, answering questions, and mostly enjoying myself. Then I sat and watched as the show progressed. Then the announcers for Choice New Young Artist made a joke.

"And the nominees are: Justin Bieber, Miranda Cosgrove, Emily Osmentand Bella Swan!" With each name, there was a small interval of time to let the cheering fans scream. I was so surprised when people screamed as they said my name.

"And the winner of the Teen Choice Award is......" The announcer opened the envelope. "Bella Swan!"

My mouth dropped open. I was sitting next to Taylor, and on my left was Renee, and next to her Charlie. I jumped up and hugged them all, screaming. They congratulated me and I walked up, took the surf board and hugged the announcers. Then I turned to the audience and the mic.

"Oh, my goodness, this is such an honor," I rushed. "Thank you so much. This has been such an opportunity. I want to thank Angela, who pretty much got me my deal, my parents for being so supportive, my friends for putting up with everything, and most importantly my fans, because if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here, making videos, music, and a movie. Thanks so much." I walked off, waving, and sat back down, then started smacking Charlie in the arm, because I was so happy.

..........

Tonight is the first night of my sold-out tour, and I'm gonna do the best that I can. After the opening act, I would be lifted on stage by a platform, rising from the floor. I wasn't doing much dancing, but I was twirling and spinning and moving across the stage, so I was wearing a flowy blue, short dress and ballet flats. I had a white mic in my hands, and as the crowd cheered, I gripped it tightly and crouched down as the platform began to rise. The spotlight turned on and I was being lifted, when I felt a wave of motivation as the crowd screamed. They were here to see me, and as the music began, for one of the covers I was doing.

_Here I am  
Once again  
Feeling lost  
But now and then  
I breathe it in  
To let it go_

I stepped off the platform and sang the title to the hit show _Victorious_, twirling, waving and dancing. Then the concert turned out to be a mix of covers and my songs, and by the time I was done, I flopped onto the hard bed, exhausted. I pulled out my phone and called Angela, who was starting college in a few days. She was starting the fifth of September, and today was the first.

"Hey, how was the concert?" she asked as soon as she picked up.

"Exhausting," I said. "But I love it." She laughed. "How's Ben?"

"Oh, fine! Just fine!" she answered too quickly.

"What happened?" I asked slowly, sitting up.

"Um, well, we sort of had a fight and broke up," she said. "I have to focus on my studies, though, so it's okay."

"I'm sorry," I said, truly meaning it. She and Ben were perfect together, even if he was like six inches shorter than she was. I honestly thought they'd be together for much longer than a year and a half.

"It's fine." We talked about some other stuff and then I told her I was tired and hung up. I fell asleep almost instantly.

..........

It was September 13th, my birthday. And the Washington, D.C. date, too. Important people were going, and I honestly wanted to make a good impression, so obviously I was nervous, because the guys in the band were big on pranks. They'd already pranked me in the Orlando date, and in the end, instead of wearing jeans and a hoodie for the firsr part of the song, I ended up wearing PJs.

I woke up and looked at my watch. I had forty minutes till had to be at the arena for the soundcheck. And I showered, ate and got ready, then went to the arena and met the guys.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" Joey yelled.

"Thanks," I said. The contrast between last year's birthday and this one would have been comical if it wasn't so painful to remember.

We did _Hot N Cold _by Katy Perry, and _Jump Then Fall _by Taylor Swift, then when the sound was perfect, walked around the city. We didn't have much time for sight-seeing, but the guys each gave me a present, except for Joey and Mark, who both paid for the Sony Cybershot they got me. Jake got me a $25 gift card at Forever 21 and Nick the Katy Perry CD. We all ate lunch and then went back to get ready. I saw Nick and Joey snickering, so I knew something was up.

I went through the usual routine, but played up the colors. Tonight, I was wearing a silver dress with purple tights and silver flats. My eyeliner was sparkly purple and my make up was dramatic, like the smokey eye and nuce lips. The band opened and I got on the platform, to my surprise, instead of _Make It Shine_'s intro, the guys were playing a Happy Birthday tune as I rose.

"It's Bella's birthday today!" Nick yelled as I gripped the mic and stood straight.

The crowd cheered and the guys and the crowd sang happy birthday. Then I sang the second song. And when I went to sing _Forever & Always_, which I always sang at the piano, something was up.

_Once upon a time  
I believe it was a Monday  
When I caught your eye_

The piano was off-key.

_Whoever's down there better get off if they don't know what's good for them, _I sang as though it were part of the song.

Mark scurried out, wearing black jeans and a black T-shirt, wearing a luchador mask. I screamed in terror as he yelled in my face, then ran off the stage.

"Oh, my God. Sorry. I'm scared of luchadores who scream in my face when I'm about to sing," I apologized sarcastically to the audience. Then I began the song again.

And the concert went by like that. I always sang a cover of _Should've Said No_ by Taylor Swift and I always tried to get the pelting rain like she got it, but the guys kept putting an umbrella over me so I wouldn't get wet, which was the whole point of having PELTING RAIN. And when I covered _Kissin U_by Miranda Cosgrove, the guys from the opening band came in dressed up as Hershey's Kisses. Pranks like that. Until I ended the show with _Bottom of The Ocean_ and they all yelled "Happy Birthday, Bella!"

I smiled as we ended the show and went back to sign autographs. I got lots of happy birthday wishes, and when I was done, we went for dinner and ice cream. And in the bus, I flopped on the bed and checked my e-mail, but most of it was fan mail wishing me happy birthday, along with the same from Angela, Renee and Charlie, and an odd one from Alice wishing the same, too. And that if we went to New Hampshire to tell her so she could go.

I would've been jumping with joy that she wanted to go to one of my concerts, but I was too tired, so I just smiled and fell asleep.

..........

It was almost Christmas, which meant I was in L.A., filming the segment for the Ellen DeGeneres show that would air the day of my concert here.

I was wearing a light brown strapless dress and heels, my hair straight down my back. My make up looked natural and my bangs had been growing, so we'd cut them again a few days ago, so they were back to how they'd been in the beggining. Ellen introduced me and the crowd cheered. I walked out, the mini-mic on the dress, waving, until I saw a flash of bronze hair that made my internal alarms go off.

I walked to Ellen and hugged her, and she said: "Oh, my, wow, you look so cute! You know, every time I see you, you look cuter."

"Thank you," I said. We sat down and she smiled.

"Well, you've grown a lot since you last sat in that chair, I'm guessing," she said. I nodded. "Mentally, though, right? Because you look as beautiful and healthy as ever."

"Yeah, I mean, making the movie was hard work. Lots of team work," I said. She nodded.

"Yeah, so tell me what that was like. I know last time you were on, you couldn't tell me who the director was. And now I've seen a trailer, and my, you look amazing!"

"Thank you!" I took a deep breath, scanning the audience, hoping not to see him again. "Well, making the movie, as I said, was hard work, because everyone has to be going down the same line. If Logan was going down a different line as me and Bridgit, the story wouldn't have been the same, know what I mean?" She nodded. "It was all in the team work, but we got really lucky. Everyone was great and so pleasant, and that's amazing. Plus, I made some really great friends."

"Well, that's really great, isn't it?" she said. "What about the _Day to Day_ tour, huh?"

"Oh, I actually just fnished it, and we're taking a break and picking up after February so I can go to the premier of the movie," I said.

"Now, I've heard you say one boy has inspired most of your songs, but do you have any other influences?" she asked.

"Well, Taylor Swift obviously writes very sincere music, and I think that inspired me not to cover the truth up and just make it as real as possible. And then for the sound, I wanted some dance music, but also something you can sing along to, no matter how fast the beat is," I said.

"And after this commercial break, Bella's going to tell us about the boy she calls her inspiration, and about turning nineteen on the road!" The camera zoomed off and I looked at Ellen.

"I can't talk about the boy I call my inspiration! I can barely think about him without---." I calmed myself down.

"Just skim a little and talk a lot about your B-day, sweetie," she said. She got up and walked to the snack table, then went sat back down as the camera zoomed back in. "And we're back! So Bella, who's the boy you call your inspiration?"

I blushed, then squirmed in my seat, uncomfortable. "Um, well, he was my boyfriend for a short time, but he made me feel and write. He was special."

The crowd _ooh_'ed, and I scanned it again, and this time, I saw him staring straight at me, his face plain shock.

"If it's okay, why'd you break up if he was so special?" Ellen asked.

"He had to go, and he felt it was easier for me if we had a clean break. So, yeah, not what I had in mind, but it's what happens." I was holding back tears, and I was so glad this wasn't live on TV.

"Honey, if you need to cry, it's okay." I nodded and she went to a commercial break, then I scurried off to the bathroom. Thank God for water-proof mascara.

I cried into the tissue paper, then made sure I looked fine, and went back out. He was still out there, staring at me. I smiled at Ellen and she motioned for the dude to zoom back in as I sat down.

"Bella, are you okay?" she asked. I nodded. "Well, back to our other question, what was it like to turn nineteen on the road?"

"It was definitively different from last year's birthday experience, but it was funny." I laughed. "The guys in my band got me some presents, and Joey and Mark got me a camera, and then during the whole show they pranked me, knowing full well I hate being screwed up. But it was a great birthday."

"And that's all the time we have, thank you for watching, don't forget to catch Bella tonight, bye!" Ellen and I waved as the camera zoomed off. The crowd cheered, and I got up to sign autographs, but afterwards, I walked away, ready to go home, when a cold hand caught my arm. I yelled, but no one heard me.

"Bella," he said.

I refused to look at him. Hearing his voice say my name after over a year was so painful. And more so when he was touching me.

"Let me go," I said firmly.

"Bella, can we please talk?" his velvet voice asked. I was not going to look at him.

"Let me go," I repeated in the same tone.

He sighed and let go of my arm, and I walked away briskly, knowing what I was doing. I didn't want to know what he wanted, but I knew if I looked at him I'd beg him to take me back. And I didn't want to do that. So I walked to the dressing room, changed into my jeans and hoodie, looked for Renee and after I found her, we got in my car and I drove to my apartment.

Not once did I look back.

* * *

**What did you think? Please update. Thank you.**


	17. Chapter 17

**I took a week to write this one. Review, please. Enjoy.**

**BPOV:**

I knew it was only noon, but I told Renee I needed to rest. She told me it was fine, then called some old college friend of hers and they went off around L.A., having the fun I should be having.

I know it's stupid of me to be crying over someone who left me over a year ago, but that didn't make me feel better. I couldn't tell Angela, Taylor, Selena, Demi, Bridgit, and this was the one time I couldn't tell Alice, either. I felt alone.

Seeing him in the studio, asking me to talk.... it was unbearable. It didn't seem like it, but I took what was left of my dignity and walked away, only to break down later, in my apartment, alone.

I was curious about what in the world he wanted to talk about, but it was too late to find out. It had probably been a once in a lifetime thing, seeing him again. Just like the movie. And I thought that kind of thing wasn't possible.

Around three, my phone beeped.

I'd been hoping for the oblivion sleep brought, but no such luck. I reached for my phone and saw the screen.

A text, from a number I didn't know. I opened it.

_Bella, I'm sorry. Did I scare you? I suppose that's possible. Can we please meet somewhere? I need to talk to you.-- Edward Cullen. (Sorry.)_

Oh, my God.

The name broke through all my walls, and a fresh wave of pain washed over me. I fell on the bed and I heard my phone thunk down on the hardwood floor. I didn't care. I gathered my arms around my legs and pushed myself into a little ball, trying to hold myself together. This hadn't happened since last year. I used to be able to control this damn pain. Not anymore.

**EPOV:**

Bella looked so beautiful. I mean, she'd never been even slightly normal-looking, but even in the dull dress she was wearing, she looked amazing.

I didn't like to stare, but the high heels she was wearing made her legs look great, and her hair had gotten so much longer. The bangs, however, I didn't like very much. They hid her eyes from me, and that was one of the things I loved most about her-- those chocolate brown eyes. Her make up unneeded, was great. And the confidence she now had that had been absent when we'd met was only more attractive, because it wasn't a stuck-up kind of confidence.

And the way she talked to Ellen, like they'd been friends and she did this every day. I'd seen her around L.A., and she was mostly with the most popular celebrities, like Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift. And for some reason, she always looked about as comfortable with them as she did with Alice. And it made me mad. I mean, I suppose this was what I'd wanted for her, to be happy, but it seemed like she didn't miss me. And that broke my cold, dead heart even more.

Anyway, now that she lived in L.A., she always wore T-shirts and shorts, something I'd never seen her in. Hell, she hardly ever even wore skinny jeans, something most girls in Forks always wore. And Bella had a great style for sunny weather, I guess. She had spaghetti strap tops that weren't too revealing, but showed just enough skin to make me want to go to her and beg her to take my sorry butt back.

And when she filmed the movie, kissing Logan Lerman in almost every scene... it made me wonder whether she was happy with him. And she seemed to always have such a great time. I was happy for her, really, but I was so miserable inside.

When I saw her this morning, I read the minds of the other humans, most of which were fans of hers, and it turned out she was going to be on the Ellen DeGeneres show today. I decided to watch, just out of pure curiosity as to why everyone was so obsessed with her.

She walked out and a song played as she walked to the little couch.

_Until you're mine  
I had to find  
A way to fill this hole inside  
I can't survive without you here  
By my side  
Until you're mine  
Not gonna be  
Even close to complete  
I won't rest  
Until you're mine_

I wondered if she wrote that. Alice told me Bella wrote all her songs, so I guess it was true. I wondered who it was for. Her vocals were great, though. Better than Rosalie's, I'd say.

She and Ellen talked and Bella caught my eye, but I looked away. Then, when she talked about the boy who inspired her, she kind of looked at me, but she started to cry and went backstage. And that made me angry at myself, for causing this to her. Then after the show was done, I tried to get her to talk to me, but she wouldn't. And that's when I knew that no matter how much I pursued her, she'd never take me back. And I knew I'd keep trying, because I wanted to heal this broken heart of mine.

So I sent her a text message hours later. Don't ask me how I got her number, because I simply walked by Demi Lovato and fished it out of her mind.

I sent the text a few hours ago, but she never wrote back. I guess she didn't want to talk to me.

My phone beeped, and my hopes grew high before I could even register the fact that the damn phone was beeping the call tone, not the text tone.

"Hello?" I said, hopeful.

"She's come around, Edward, I've seen it," Alice's voice said.

"No. She won't," I growled. "You didn't see her face."

"I did. And I saw her curling up because your damn appearance hurt so much," Alice said. "Why don't you just listen to her music. It will help you understand."

"Fine," I said. "Goodbye, Alice."

I hung up and went to the App store. Yeah, I have an iPhone. In the top ten albums, Bella Swan's _Day to Day_ CD was number six. I bought the full Deluxe version and got the ear buds out. I blasted the music, listening to the lyrics, trying to understand the girl I loved so much. I walked around and sat in a park bench, watching the families walk by, unaware that thanks to the cloudy weather I wasn't sparkling. And that thanks to it I could try to follow the girl I loved.

**BPOV:**

Around seven, Renee arrived. She brought a pizza, which I thanked her for. We ate and she asked why my phone was on the floor.

"Oh, I was texting Demi when I fell asleep. I guess it must have fallen out of my hands," was my great cover.

After we ate, she went to take a shower and I got my phone, then saw the text message again.

_Can we please meet somewhere?_ he said. _I need to talk to you. _He wrote. _Did I scare you? I suppose that's possible._ He said.

I didn't know what to do. If I saw him again, I'd just beg him to take me back, and I doubt that's what he wants to do.

It took all I had not to take him back in the studio, and it would be just that much harder if I saw him again, face-to-face. And even though every fiber in my body wanted him back, and yet it was against my dignity as a woman to take him back so easily. Not to make him work for it. Just to give in.

I took a chance and grabbed my phone, flipped the keyboard open, took a deep breath and stared at the keyboard, the screen empty in the space, the reply ready to be written. But seconds turned into minutes and I was still staring at the screen. Renee came out and asked what I was doing. I quickly hid the phone in the back pocket of my sweats and shook my head, murmuring 'Nothing'.

She eyed me weirdly, but walked to her room and closed the door, turned the air on, and I knew in fifteen minutes she'd be asleep. I took my phone out and started staring at the screen again. Finally, I decided the perfect, most adequate reply would be 'What?' but that wouldn't do me much good. So I typed.

_What is there to say, Edward? My mother is asleep, so I guess if you want to talk you can come here, but, please, MAKE NO NOISE!--Bella Swan_

I hit send and poured myself some orange juice. I drank it and sighed, then went to my bedroom and started to pick out an outfit for tomorrow. I was going to spend the day just walking around L.A. and getting Christmas presents_, _so I picked out something comfortable_: _skinny-fare jeans, Converse, and a loose, spaghetti strap top that was cream colored, and the white Ray Bans Demi gave me for my birthday. My phone beeped as I received a text.

_You're at home?--EC_

I could not believe it. He was actually asking me to come here. Well, not exactly, but in the context it was there. I responded with a quick 'Yes' and told him to wait twenty minutes, then took a shower and put on some sweats, let my straightened hair and my bangs fall, and sat on the couch, turned on the TV and watched _Ten Things I Hate About You_, which I had on. I waited patiently for the man I owed my career to this way.

**EPOV:  
**

I was quite surprised when the ring tone** interrupted the music. I took the phone out and saw it was a text. From Bella. I stopped the music and read the text. **

_What is there to say, Edward? My mother is asleep, so I guess if you want to talk you can come here, but, please, MAKE NO NOISE!-- Bella Swan_

I was surprised she even replied. It took me a bit to realize she was accepting my offer to talk. But what bothered me was that she didn't know what we had to talk about. How could she _not _know I loved her? I mean, did she not understand my feelings for her at all?

I mulled over these thoughts and decided to reply.

_You're at home?--EC  
_

It felt stupid to ask, but I didn't have anything else to say. The reply came quickly.

_Yes. Come in twenty minutes.--Bella_

I listened to more of her music while waiting for the twenty minutes to pass. It sounds like stalker-like behavior, but I knew where Bella lived. Sure, it would take me, from exactly where I was sitting, three minutes to get there. After seventeen minutes, I turned off the music and ran flat out to Bella's apartment, ran up the side of the building, climbing, and as I got to her balcony, which had glass doors that showed you the inside of her living room, I could see her in lilac sweat pants and a white tank top, and a lilac hoodie over it. Her hair and bangs were straight and fell beautifully around her. She had her knees up around her chest as she sat on the couch, across from the TV, watching.

I dropped on her balcony and tapped on the glass door, Bella looked up, clearly alarmed, but then she saw me.

And her eyes turned so sad.

I was used to seeing them as I always did in the pictures of her around everywhere, or in my memory, and she was always happy. And now they saw me and turned sad. And it hurt to know I caused all of it.

**BPOV:**

Okay, if you're watching your favorite show on TV while waiting for a call or a text or something that might tell you your ex-boyfriend is near and is soon going to be in your apartment, and then suddenly you hear a tap on the glass doors leading to your balcony, you'd be scared, right?

Well, it only alarmed me. I looked up and saw Edward, and everything explained itself. He climbed up the side of the building. Simple as that.

I paused the show and stood up to open the doors, and he walked inside, running a hand through his hair.

"What do you want to talk about? 'Cause I honestly have no idea," I said bluntly.

"Bella, I...." He looked at me and I felt my insides melt. My composure stayed the same, but all I wanted to do was extend my arms and hug him close to me. We were standing so close. I took a step back and closed the glass doors, then walked around to the kitchen and got a glass of water.

"You want something?" I asked. I glanced over my shoulder, but he shook his head. He seemed to be trying to look me in the eye, but my bangs were so long he couldn't find them.

"I want to talk to you, Bella," he said. His voice was different-- somehow it sounded tortured. I looked at him.

"About?" I asked.

"What happened." He left that hanging. I took a deep breath, even though this topic killed me.

"You mean how you left and five months later I'm a professional singer with songs written about you?" I said sarcastically. "Or how I went on the Ellen Show and cried? Or how I kissed another boy for a movie? What is it that you want to talk about?"

"I'm sorry I left. I just wanted you to know that. I miss you and even though you're probably glad you had this shot, it saddens me," he said. He dropped his head.

"It _saddens_ you that I'm happy?" I asked, shocked. I thought he _wanted_ me to be happy.

"No. It saddens me that I have to share you to the rest of the world." I gasped. "You're no longer mine, I guess, but it hurts that so many teenagers out there see a picture of you or say your name, they think 'Hot'..." He trailed off and dropped his head again. Then he looked at the TV. "You're watching that show? Seriously?"

"I like it," I said. "It's realistic." I drank a sip of my water. "Anyway, if you have nothing else to say...."

"I also wanted to ask who the songs were about," he said.

I blushed. "Um, most about you. Only a few are about friendship and I co-wrote one with Taylor Swift," I said. That hurt me, to tell him just how much I loved him.

"You honestly just want me to be happy?" he asked, his tone colored with disbelief.

"Yeah." I cleared my throat. "I wrote that when I went back to being myself. It was like a few weeks before I got the deal."

He looked at me, walked at vampire speed until he was so close to me it hurt to be so, and he brushed the bangs back, looked me in the eyes, and leaned down. I felt myself shut down entirely and closed my eyes. I pursed my lips and took a step back, then looked up at him.

He'd tried to kiss me. And it was as if the last year and three months hadn't happened. Like it was just after my birthday and he wanted to kiss me goodnight.

But it was different. Because all that crap _had_ happened, and now nothing could change that.

"Edward, I think it's best if we talk tomorrow," I said firmly.

"Why?" His voice _killed_ me. It sounded so hurt.

"Because, you're just teasing me." I took a deep breath and prepared myself to say the words that broke my heart. "You don't want me. It doesn't make sense. And I don't need this. Please, just go."

I heard a sharp intake of breath, turned away from him, and walked to the couch, my back to him.

"Bella," he said, "I've never wanted anyone _but_ you. Please don't do this."

"It's done." My voice was icy, and I hated it. "Go."

And I felt a gush of wind, the glass doors opening and closing, and he was gone.

And that was when I broke down and cried like a baby. I loved him. I ordered him away. I loved him.

Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward.

..........

Renee found me asleep on the couch, the TV off. I'd hardly slept all night, thinking about what had happened, and how so much had changed in just the few minutes we talked.

Renee must have noticed I wasn't my usual, upbeat and quirky self, because she offered to skip her meeting with her friend and stay with me, but I told her it was fine.

I ate very little and got ready, then got in my car and drove to Starbucks. I needed some coffee to feel better. I drank it and then parked the car and walked around the streets looking for Christmas presents.

I was acutely aware I was being watched, but I ignored it and bought Renee the pink blouse she wanted. In the end, I got all my friends something unique, Charlie the signed album from his favorite band, and Angela her favorite perfume smell, only fancier. She'd die when she got it.

I sat down to eat at Wendy's and you can just guess who sat with me. That's right, Edward.

"What are you doing? There are paparazzi all over the place! They'll start some rumor about this, you know," I said as soon as he sat down.

"Is that 'chicken', if it even is chicken, any good?" he asked about my chicken tenders.

"They're better than Burger King's, if you ask my opinion, " I said. I dipped one in ketchup and bit the end off, then drank a sip of my Coke. I could literally feel all the paparazzi waiting to see what happened.

"I did." He smiled. "What happened last night?"

"You tried to kiss me and I told you you're just playing with me," I said nonchalantly. Inside, it hurt, outside, it didn't show.

"Bella, I'm sorry for

* * *

what I did to you, but I do love you," he said. His eyes burned. I realized they were black. Pitch black.

"You what?" I couldn't register what he said.

"I.... Bella, please," he said.

I stood up, grabbed my food and soda and walked out. I opened my car door and got in, put the food in the passenger seat and drove off. After I was halfway across town I stopped and threw out the food. It had been forty-five minutes. That was enough time for a gossip website to upload some story about what happened.

I looked up the one who uploaded faster and waited till the page loaded. And there it was, in big letters.

**BELLA SWAN SEEN WITH HOT GUY. WALKS OUT OF RESTAURANT.  
Bella Swan has some luck with guys. Two of the four in her band have admitted to have crushes on her, Logan Lerman has, too, and now she was seen having lunch with a very hot guy indeed. As seen in the pictures, they seemed to be having what started out as a light conversation, but it turned intense and she couldn't take it and walked out. He didn't seem too happy about this, as he dropped his head in his hands as soon as she got in her car.  
I'd like to know the story here and I'm sure everyone else does, too. First: Who is this super-hot guy? Second: Why is she running from him? and Three: Do they know each other from somewhere?  
They seemed pretty comfortable, so is this the man she wrote all her songs about? ****--GossipChikadeeOnline  
**

The pictures were one of me and Edward, sitting and talking, another of me frowning, another of me getting up to leave, and the last of him with his head in his hands.

I sighed and drove back home, then realized it was late enough to call Taylor and tell her to cheer me up. She tried, but nothing would be able to. My dignity was feeling high, but the rest of me wasn't.

My concert was tomorrow night, and most of my celebrity friends and important people were going, plus some super fans. And then in a few more days Christmas. What could be worse?

* * *

**What do you think? Follow Bella on Twitter at bellabooboto and me at adriswifty13. Review please. Thanks. Bye.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I took a week to write this one. This is totally random, but did anyone get the 'Big Bang Theory' reference? It's from like two chapters back where Bella says she expected Edward to pop up behind her and yell: "BAZINGA!" My dad showed it to us in the car on the way back from my Drama rehearsal and I found it so funny I copied it down on my notes in my iPod and remembered to post it.**

**Review, please. Enjoy.**

**BPOV:**

I woke up and realized it was way too dark to be morning. Only, it was. Well, three in the morning. Deatils, details.

I knew that even if I tried to get sleep, there was no way I would. So I decided to tinker around the Internet. I went on Twitter and posted: 'Show tonight! UGH. Can't sleeeeeep. Wanna watch SWAC reruns. Is anything good on at 3am?'

But no one was on. I couldn't text or call anyone because they'd probably be asleep, and I didn't want to be a bother. But to be honest, I knew it wasn't nerves or anything like that that had me restless. Because I'd done over seventy shows, and sure, I always got nervous, but never to the point where I couldn't sleep. It was what I loved doing, and losing sleep only made me less energetic. No, what had me restless was....... Edward...

What was I going to do about him? Sure, the publicity I was getting for being seen with him wasn't _bad_, but what if someone from Forks, like Lauren, saw it and told the media the truth? Or what if something horrible and heartbreaking happened and then the whole world hated him? That last one was a stupid thought, but some fan girls get a teensy bit crazy. No offense to any. Trust me, the author is one.

I looked for my iPod and tried to listen to soothing music, but not even the best could help the breaking inside. I stood up and changed into a white T-shirt and purple cotton shorts and walked out to my balcony. I needed to feel the fresh air on my face. I needed to breath the California air that had been my home for less than a year but already felt more inviting than Forks ever had. I needed to taste the cool breeze that rushed into me as I opened my mouth. I needed comfort.

"Bella?" my mother's voice called.

"Mom?" I asked. She turned the balcony door on and slipped outside, knotting her robe over her nightgown. "What are you doing up?"

"To tell you the truth, honey," she sighed, "I heard your door open and I wanted to see if you were alright." She smiled kindly at me and I tried to smile back, but failed miserably, and it came out as a sad smile. "What's wrong? Aren't you happy?"

"Yeah, Mom, I am happy," I said, looking down. "But something's been bothering me, and..... I don't know..."

"Is it Edward?" she asked bluntly. "Yeah, baby girl," she smiled. "I keep up with the gossip. And I saw him at Ellen's show. Is he hurting you?"

"No, see, Mom, that's the problem." I sighed. I took a deep breath. "I'm the one doing the hurting. The downside is, it's hurting me, too."

"So you still love him?" she asked.

I nodded and blushed.

"I know you don't think your mother understands you, but, sweetie, I can see this is hard for you." She stopped, as if deciding whether or not to say what she wanted to say. "A part of you wants to take him back, right?" I nodded. "But another, more powerful, angry and spiteful half wants to make him hurt and beg for you, am I correct?"

"Yeah, you are." I held on to the railing and looked down at the streets. "But the thing is, when he left me, he told me he didn't love me anymore. And he let me believe he didn't love me for more than a year, knowing I was probably still in love with him. And now he comes back, and he's saying sweet things, but I don't know what he wants to say. And it kills me inside not to know."

"Sweetie, we're not perfect. We make mistakes. But when life gives you a thousand reasons to cry, you have to show life you have a million reasons to smile."

"You're qouting movies and bumper stickers, Mom," I complained lightly.

"Yeah, but they have very good messages." She laughed. "Look, you can either talk to him and ask him about what he wanted to say to you, or you can live thinking 'What if I'd talked to him?'. You can take him back, or leave with your dignity as a woman and forget about him. 'What' and 'if' are as powerless and two words can be, but combine them, and they have the power to test your limits and kill you inside and break you."

She rubbed my arm and nodded her head.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"By any chance, did you and Bathilda drink too much today?" I asked.

"No, honey. We only had Coke and a sparkling water. Why do you ask?" Her face was priceless.

"Because I never thought my mother could be so deep and pensive," I said with a smile.

"Sweetie, I have to sleep. Tomorrow I'm leaving for Jacksonville, to spend Christmas with Phil, and the flight is really early in the morning." She looked at me suddenly. "Charlie's coming here to spend Christmas with you, right?"

"Yeah, Mom, don't worry about it. Get to sleep," I said. She nodded, kissed my forehead and went back to her room. I really should get some sleep too, so I turned in.

But Renee's words ran through my mind, and it wasn't easy not thinking about them. _We're not perfect. We make mistakes._ My mistake wasn't to love him, but I think I would learn what the mistake was if I talked to him. That would be masochistic, cuasing myself that pain. And _he _used to be my "masochistic lion".

_When life gives you a thousand reasons to cry, show life you have a million reasons to smile. _I guess I could smile about my friends, because it had been so long since I'd seen Angela and we were still really close. And my fans were amazing. And, really, anything I thought of that had happened to me in the past year could make me very happy.

_'What' and 'if' are two words as powerless as words can be, but put them together and they have the power to test your limits and kill you inside and break you. _I'm pretty sure that was from _Letters To Juliet_. I had that on DVD. Amazing movie, by the way, be sure to see it. But anyway, that quote was so true. If I never talked to him, I would always wonder 'What if I talked to him?' and if I'd never taken the chance, I'd always wonder 'What if I had gone to the audition?'.

I didn't sleep at all, but I decided to hear what he had to say, even if I had to go looking for him. Which would be hard, considering he could just as easily be in a park in L.A. as in New Hampshire with Alice as in Rio de Janeiro.

Around seven thirty, I dragged myself out of bed, and I knew instantly I looked horrible. How? I felt freaking horrible. My whole body ached in that I-didn't-have-enought-sleep-so-now-you-have-to-pay way. So I took a pain killer and had some breakfast, said goodbye to Renee as she walked out with her suitcase, and left.

I decided to eat some healthy stuff and ate an apple, then changed and called Selena. I really felt like going to the beach, for some reason. It relaxes me, I guess, and I could use a slight tan.

Selena, however, couldn't make it, but she promised she'd go to my concert tonight. As did Demi. Taylor was in Nashville with her family, Angela in Forks, and I guess I could call Bridgit.

"Hey, Bridgit?" I said as soon as she picked up.

"Yeah, hey Bella," she said. "What's up?"

"Where are you, in this moment in time?" I asked, in a fake-serious voice.

"Um, getting ready to go to the beach. Why?"

"Ooh, can I come with? I really wanted to go," I said.

"Sure, I'll pick you up at your place in half and hour, ok?"

I agreed and we hung up.

I looked for my blue, halter top bikini, and the full bottom part, put it on, and admired how no obscene body parts were showing and it didn't look bad with my 'curves'. I threw on a V-neck white T-shirt, pulled on my jean shorts, and my white flip flops, and got my Ray Bans. I grabbed my cellphone, iPod, a towel, some water bottles, a few apples and sunscreen and put them inside my bag. I turned on the TV and watched the Ellen DeGeneres show, hoping to see me. They'd also recorded a bit of my performance there, so that took up most of the time that I wasn't talking. And my crying was covered up really well. I really needed to call her and thank her.

Bridgit called and told me to go downstairs, and when I did I got in her car and we drove to the beach.

It was a beautiful, sunny, L.A. day. And we each set a towel in the sand, put our bags over the ends to hold them from the wind. We put on our sunscreen and raced to the water. A wave broke and I threw myself in, laughing. I emerged, pushed my bangs to the sides, and splashed Bridgit with the water. She laughed and dived in, and we swam into the deeper parts of the beach, carelessly pushing each other down, knowing we could take it.

After some time, we went back to our spot and ate some apples and drank some water. We reapplied our sunscreen and updated each other on what's been going on. She said she's try to make it to my concert with her mom, and I thanked her. We suntanned and then went back in the water, but by noon we were both tired and put the clothes over our almost-dry bodies, and went to the nearest SubWay.

We ate and she drove me home, I got ready and I went to the arena for the soundcheck. The guys said I looked tired and we sang _Me, Myself and Time_ for Sonny With A Chance, sung by Demi Lovato. And then _The __Best Damn Thing_ by Avril Lavigne, one of my new favorite songs. After the sound was just perfect, I checked all my clothes and costumes were in place for the show, then went home and showered and got into sweats. I blowdried my hair and then admired it's glossy look, only to see a pair of golden eyes in my mirror.

Only this time, they weren't accompanied by bronze hair....... A halo of inky black surrounded the pale face.

I looked behind my back, towards the windows in my bedroom. Nothing. No fingers on the window edge, and no shadow, either. I looked around the room, in the wild thought that maybe she'd slipped inside. I saw my unmade bed, the shoes around the hardwood floor, the mirrored closet doors closed, the vanity, the posters, the pictures, the letters from friends, even my guitar, but no sign of Alice. I sighed and went back to picking up the silver hoops I would wear and putting them on.

I slipped on my flats and grabbed my bag, cellphone and keys, and walked out, locking the door behind me. I went downstairs and got in my car, drove to the arena, went backstage, and as the show started in two hours, the guys and I went through songs and I showed them the new one I'd written that would be unveiled tonight that I'd written on the road. When thirty minutes passed, the hair and make up people came in and started on me. The guys left to their dressing room and changed, then went to check their instruments were fine.

My hair was going straight, and the bangs were supposed to fall into my eyes, but when I swung my head around, and ran my hand through my hair, they would still look good. I was starting with a sparkly, electric blue dress and high heels that were suprisingly comfortable. My make up was going to look natural, as it always did. And most of all, tonight was the show where we actually did choreography, so I was wearing the headpiece mic, and my white mic was upfront, where I'd sing the slow, and more cutesy songs.

"Fifteen minutes till showtime!" someone yelled over the PA.

I scurried around and went with my band, where we waited while the opening band, well, opened. Then someone came in and told us to get in our positions. I went under the stage and got in my platform, and the music started, and I was going to be lifted when I started singing the first verse, so when I sang the first, cheerleader-like part, it came from under the stage.

_Lemme hear you say 'Hey, hey, hey' _(The guys responded with a 'Hey, hey, hey!')  
_Alright, now lemme hear you say 'Hey, hey, ho' _(The guys responded with a 'Hey, hey, ho!')

I was being lifted now, my back to the audience.

_I hate it when a guy  
Doesn't get the door  
Even when I told him yesterday  
And the day before  
I hate it when a guy  
Doesn't get the tab  
And I have to pull my money out  
And that looks bad (Yeah)_

I had turned to the audience and was feeling my nervousness and anxiety leave me. I stepped off the platform and walked down the stairs with style and sass, slowly.

_Where are the hopes  
Where are the dreams  
My Cinderella story scene  
When do you think they'll finally see_

And that was when the girls dressed in blue and pink cheerleader outfits came out and did the choreography, the twirls and the spins around me, as I reached the bottom.

_That you're not, not, not  
Gonna get any better  
You won't, won't, won't  
You won't get rid of me never  
Like it, or not  
Even though she's a lot like me  
We're not the same  
And yeah, yeah, yeah  
I'm a lot to handle  
You don't know trouble  
I'm a hell of a scandal  
Me, I'm a scene  
I'm a Drama Queen  
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen_

I started doing some choreography that involved the girls tearing off the loose dress to show a tighter, blue dress underneath. They played with pom poms as I began singing the next line.

_Alright, alright  
Yeah_

_I hate it when a guy  
Doesn't understand  
Why a certain time a month  
I don't wanna hold his hand  
I hate it when they go out  
And we stay in  
And they come home smelling  
Like their ex-girlfriend_

They were doing some cheerleading stuff and I was twirling in the midst of them, having the most fun I'd had all week.

_But I found my hopes  
I found my dreams  
My Cinderella story scene  
Now everybody's gonna see_

_That you're not, not, not  
Gonna get any better  
You won't, won't, won't  
You won't get rid of me never  
Like it, or not  
Even though she's a lot like me  
We're not the same  
And yeah, yeah, yeah  
I'm a lot to handle  
You don't know trouble  
I'm a hell of a scandal  
Me, I'm a scene  
I'm a Drama Queen  
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen_

Now was the more difficult part of the song. The girls had cards with every letter of my name, but I had to come up with something, quick.

_Gimme a B- Be a-amazing to me  
Gimme an E- Everybody's gotta see  
L- Lonely nobody's gonna yell  
Another L- Lilly I don't need my cell  
A- Always gimme what I want!  
And let me hear you scream loud! (Let me hear you scream loud!)_

_One, two, three, four_

_Where are the hopes  
Where are the dreams  
My Cinderella story scene  
When do you think they'll finally see_

_That you're not, not, not  
Gonna get any better  
You won't, won't, won't  
You won't get rid of me never  
Like it, or not  
Even though she's a lot like me  
We're not the same  
And yeah, yeah, yeah  
I'm a lot to handle  
You don't know trouble  
I'm a hell of a scandal  
Me, I'm a scene  
I'm a Drama Queen  
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen_

_Lemme hear you say 'Hey, hey, hey' (Hey, hey, hey!)  
Alright, now lemme hear you say 'Hey, hey, ho' (Hey, hey, ho!)_

The guys reapeted 'Hey, hey, hey!' four times, and then I jumped and landed with my hands in the air.

_I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen_

And as always, the concert was a mix of covers and originals. I changed three times, once, when the 'cheerleaders' pulled off my sparkly, electric blue number, second, after I covered _Should've Said No_, then one with the PELTING RAIN, when I changed into a white, short, summer dress. And the third time, when I changed into the last dress, a purple one. I walked to the stage and sat on the stool in front of my white mic, adjusted it, and said: "Hey!"

The crowd cheered.

"I hope you guys are liking tonight. We're almost through. Just three more songs, and then whatever you like, but I've got to warn you, I've done as many female covers that don't curse as I can remember." I laughed.

I was suddenly hyperaware that the spotlight was on me, and it was really hot. Crap, soon, I'd be sweating.

"So, anyway, I wanted to play two new songs I wrote." I motioned to the acoustic guitar in my arms. "One was written while I was on the road, the other a few hours ago, when I couldn't fall asleep at night." I smiled a toothy smile. "Here's _When I Look at You_." I began strumming and the guys began playing.

_Everybody needs inspiration  
Everybody needs a song  
A beautiful melody  
For when the night's so long  
'Cause there is no guarantee  
That this life is easy, yeah_

_When my world is falling apart  
When there's no light  
To break up the dark  
That's when I, I, I look at you  
When the waves are flooding the shore  
And I can't find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I, I look at you  
When I look at you_

_I see forgiveness  
I see the truth  
You love me for who I am  
Like the stars hold the moon  
Right there where they belong  
And I know I'm not alone, yeah_

_When my world is falling apart  
When there's no light  
To break up the dark  
That's when I, I, I look at you  
When the waves are flooding the shore  
And I can't find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I, I look at you_

_You appear just like a dream to me  
Just like kaleidascope colors that  
Cover me, all I need  
Every breath that I breathe  
Don't you know, you're beautiful_

In the instrumental, I stood up and walked to the front, touching the hands of fans until it was my turn to continue singing.

_Yeah_

___When the waves are flooding the shore  
And I can't find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I, I look at you  
I look at you  
Yeah  
Whoa-Oh_

_You appear just like a dream to me_

"That song is dedicated to all my friends and family who have been there through the good and the bad times, and who are always there for me. And for you," I said. I sat on the stool again and breathed, then looked at the guys. "You don't know this one. You get a break." I turned to the audience. "There's something not quite right, and I live through music, so this explains right now."

I began playing the song, so carefully.

_I hear a word you're not saying  
It's driving me crazy  
It's like we stopped breathing in this room  
We're both the last who believe in  
I don't know what you're thinking  
I wish you'd make your move_

_It's much too quiet in here  
I wanna disappear  
I'm hearing myself thinking too clear  
It's too quiet in here  
Make it all go away  
Why can't we break this silence  
Finally_

_It's like you know where I'm going  
You follow me home but  
I never invite you inside  
I see what you're not showing  
I've got you alone but  
The air is so still it's weird_

_It's much too quiet in here  
I wanna disappear  
I'm hearing myself thinking too clear  
It's too quiet in here  
Make it all go away  
Why can't we break this silence  
Finally_

_Don't stop, don't stop  
Telling me goodnight  
Just promise you'll kiss me goodbye  
What's taking so long  
Don't tell me you're not gonna try  
The tension's building in my mind  
I wanna scream and I know why_

I was singing my heart out, showing him what I was feeling, willing him to understand the song was about him. I saw him in the audience, staring at me. I looked at him pointedly as I strummed the solo, getting ready for the end.

___It's much too quiet in here  
I wanna disappear  
I'm hearing myself thinking too clear  
It's too quiet in here  
Make it all go away  
Why can't we break this silence  
Finally_

"Thank you," I panted. "Thank you." I walked off the stage, changed quickly into the last outfit, (a strapless, baby pink short dress with crystals embedded in the hem, and a bow around the back, under the bust), ran out to the stage and finished with _You're The Reason_, from the show _Victorious_. The crowd screamed "ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!" and I sang _Catch Me_, by Demi Lovato. They again screamed yet again, so I sang _Back Around_, an unreleased song by Demi Lovato. By then, I got tired, the show _had_ been almost two hours, not counting the opening act. I waved goodbye and skipped offstage, thankfully not tripping once.

I changed into my normal clothes, went through the back to sign autographs and pose for pictures. After I finished, I called Selena, Demi, Bridgit, and all the friends that were coming, and we drove to the bowling alley. I sucked, to tell you the truth, but it was so fun and amazing. I went home almost happy and showered, changed into my PJs, and got into bed. I logged into my laptop and checked my e-mail, then turned off the lights, and sat on the chair next to my glass window.

I looked at the beautiful city lights, thankful that I could see it. I sighed, looked at the sky, and walked back to my bed. I lay down and closed my eyes. It was nice, with the air conditioning on, to feel serenity for once in this week.

At least, until I heard a knock on my window.


	19. Chapter 19

**I got one review, so far, saying it was unfair to end it in a cliffy (yeah, titanterror12, I'm talking about you. BTW, is that the number?) so I decided to try to update soon. Just wanted to update you on my life, too. (If you care. If not, please completely skip this.) **

**Sunday- I got my first cellphone, and it has unlimited texting and calls, and a keyboard! (The T-Mobile Samsung Gravity 2)  
Monday- 8th grade Graduation, in which I sing a solo and talk.  
Saturday- Junior Prom. (First formal dance EVER!)  
Next Sunday- Pool Party. **

**Review, please. Enjoy.**

**BPOV:**

_At least, until I heard a knock on my window._

I screamed, then calmed myself down and looked at the window in disbelief. Edward's face poked out, looking apologetic. I walked to the window, my fingers cold from the air, and opened it. I poked my head out, looked down at him, and my mind suddenly processed I was wearing a white, skin tight cami and blue cotton PJ shorts.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

If this was any human boy, I would've started yelling that he could get himself killed, (this was the twelfth floor), he was insane, and other crap like that. But he was a vampire, who'd been alive for almost a hundred and eleven years, and he knew what he was doing, or so I thought.

I moved away from the window and opened it wider and he squeezed himself in.

"Thanks," he said. He walked around my room, not looking at me. It hurt having him so very close, yet so far away. He looked at everything from the posters to the laptop on the desk to the guitar propped against the wall to the pictures of Angela with her new boyfriend, Jimmy, to the letters from fans to my camera to the camera Charlie gave me for my eighteenth birthday. He took in every detail of the room, even the wall colors, lilac and turquoise, which I'm sure he could see, everything but me.

"What are you here for, Edward?" I finally asked through the pain. His head whipped to the side to face me with such speed a human would have broken his neck. It didn't break my neck, but it triggered something in my mind that he actually cared what I said.

"I love you, and I want you back," he said after a moment. He left that just hanging in the air. And with that hanging, my eyes stung, longing for tears.

"But-But I thought you didn't want me anymore," I said. "I thought you were going to forget and then leave me alone."

"Yes," he said, "that was before I realized how much I need you and how had it is to be without you."

I was shocked, to say the least. Here he was, practically declaring himself, and I was being an idiot, holding back unshed tears. Tears I should have cried so long ago, when I was trying to ignore the fact I loved him so much. Before I wrote _Bottom Of The Ocean_, his song.

"You want me back?" I asked.

"I want things to change," he stated. "I want you to be mine, and I want you to know the decision is yours. I love you, and I'll fight for you, whatever it takes."

"But, Edward, I'm- I can't just quit being famous and making music because you want me to," I said, suddenly outraged as I realized what he meant. "I love doing what I do, and-."

"That's not what I meant, Bella," he said. "I mean, ugh. How do I say it?"

He started pacing and I got up from my chair next to the window, closed it, and lay on the bed, and covered myself with the sheets. Trying to mask my anxiety as impatience.

"You let me know when you figure it out. I didn't sleep last night, at all. I wasn't kidding," I said. I covered up to my face with the blanket, but he was on the bed in an instant. He pulled the covers down to my neck and I felt his cold breath on my skin. Oh, how I'd missed that.

"Please don't hide your face," he pleaded. "You don't know how long I've had to go on without it, in such pain."

"Fine," I muttered. He smiled and continued pacing, and I closed my eyes, hoping for the amazing oblivion of sleep.

And next thing I knew, sunlight was streaming inside my room, through my window. And Edward was sitting in the corner, where the sun didn't reach. He must have moved the chair during the night.

"Are you awake?" he asked quietly.

I sat up and stretched my arms. "Yup, I think so. No dream could be so realistic." Then what had happened last night rushed into my mind. The concert, willing him to know the song was about him, what he'd said. "Whoa."

"I'm sorry. I figured out a way to phrase it long after you fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you," he said. I nodded.

"Okay, then let's hear it," I said. I reached for the remote control for the air conditioner on my bedside table and turned the air off, then stood up and opened the window. Warm air rushed in thanks to the light breeze and I breathed it in, a small smile on my lips. The only comfort everything might be alright. I turned to Edward expectantly.

"I don't want you to quit your career, but I want you as mine," he started. I was about to say something when he shook his head. "It's long, please let me finish." I nodded. "Bella, before I met you, my life was like a dark sky. There were stars-points of light and reason-, but never more... Then you shot across my sky like a meteor, and there was brilliancy and beauty I had never seen before. Nothing anyone had ever provided to me. But when I left, all the light was gone... my eyes wouldn't adjust to the lack of you... And when I saw your face on TV for the first time... Some of the light came back, but it flickered and went out. When I followed you around the city, every time I saw you, the light became increasingly bright... When we finally talked at Ellen's and the day after, the light was back, but it was a dark and mocking light, telling me I would never have it as I had it before... When I listened to your lyrics and your sweet voice, the light glowed so bright, I felt so close to you.

"I need you, and I know you probably don't care about the old vampire who just wants you so badly, but I want you to know I loved you then, I love you now, and if I die, if I can, I'll love you then," he finished.

And the reality of what he said crashed down on me and I started crying. First just tears escaping my eyes, then sobs, until I was in his cold embrace, his arms around me, crying into his light shirt.

He _did_ want me. The way I wanted him.

"I love you," I said. The hole in my chest burned and tore and it slowly began to fill itself up, until I was just feeling Edward.

"I love you, Bella," he said.

And he leaned down and kissed me.

...

I was in my Audi, waiting patiently for Charlie at the airport. In L.A., it was mostly sunny, so Edward was inside the car, which I'd had the windows tinted for. It had only been two days since we got back together, but it kind of felt like he just went on a long hunting trip and came back. Then I went outside to the paparazzi and was reminded of what _really_ happened.

"Bella!" I heard a male voice yell. I looked around and saw Charlie with a suitcase and an over-the-shoulder bag waving at me. I ran over to him and hugged him.

"Hey Dad!" I said. "Did you have a good flight?"

He knew I bought him the best ticket I could get, which was First Class, and a direct flight, just because I wanted him to feel more comfortable.

"Yeah, Bells, thanks," he said. He kissed my forehead and grabbed my hand. "So show me your car. I wanna see it."

I lead him over to the Audi and enjoyed the awed look on his face. "Who helped you shop?"

"Taylor," I responded.

"Swift?" he asked as I opened the trunk.

"No, Lautner," I said, serious. I grabbed his suitcase and lifted it, put it in the trunk and closed it. "I wanted someone with a good eye and good taste in cars who knew what he was doing, and I knew Taylor from an awards show where we sat together."

"Ah," Charlie said.

He climbed in the passenger seat and I walked to the other side. I saw Charlie look at the back, then do a double take as he saw who was behind him. I braced myself for _hell_ as I got in.

"BELLA?" Charlie yelled as I closed the door.

"Yes, father dearest?" I asked in a scared voice.

"What in the hell is he doing in your car?" Charlie asked in his dangerous voice.

"Um, we're kinda, sorta dating," I said cautiously. I knew while making this decision Renee would respect it and even embrace it. Charlie... not so much. He hadn't liked Edward _before_ they left Forks. Imagine now.

"DATING!" he exploded.

"Charlie, please, you're making it very hard for her," Edward injected.

"Oh, don't start with me, Sparky! You're the one who made it hard for her during the first two months before she got her deal!" Charlie's face took on a haunted look as I pulled out, starting to drive. I could only imagine what he was thinking about.

"Please no yelling while I drive," I said. "Thank you."

A few minutes passed before Charlie calmed down, and another few until he turned to me.

"Bella, it's a fine day," he commented. "Why don't you turn off the air conditioning and roll the windows down?"

I did as he asked, glad for the fact no sunshine entered. At least Edward still _looked_ human.

Man, but it was _hot_ today in L.A. Like, maybe ninety-five degrees or something. And Charlie, who was wearing a flannel shirt, jeans and boots, who came from Forks, where it was snowing, was sweating.

"Dad, do you want me to turn on the air?" I asked, hopefully to make him happy and make him feel more at home.

"Bella, I said it's a _fine_ day," he said angrily.

"Ugh," I sighed. I turned on the air with the windows down. "Sorry, Dad."

"Um, I just got basted with cold air, and I can still feel the sunshine," he started, "I'm not complaining." He then stared out the window as I drove past L.A. to my apartment. Once I parked in the space, Charlie got out, told me to open the trunk, got his bag and went inside the building for shade.

"I think he took it quite well," I commented as I got out.

"Yeah, you can't read his thoughts." Edward got out and walked at vampire speed to the shade outside. "He's wondering whether his Chief of Police rights, like the gun, apply here."

I gasped and started walking inside, holding his cold hand. As we walked inside, Charlie climbed in the elevator and held the door for us. I pressed the number twelve and the elevator, well, elevated us to my place. Dad looked around, Edward looked at me, anxious, and I looked pointedly at the doors, willing them to open as fast as they could. When they finally did, I lead the way to my door and opened it.

"Dad, you'll be staying in the guest room, which is the second door on your left," I told him. He went that way and stopped just outside the open door.

"Where's Edward staying?" he asked cautiously.

"In a hotel down the block," I informed him, smiling.

He breathed a sigh of relief and I blushed, but he entered his room as though nothing had happened. I turned to Edward quickly.

"I don't need to know what Charlie was thinking, ok?" I smiled and hugged him around the middle.

"You don't _want_ to know, I'm sure," he whispered in my ear. He kissed the top of my head and looked up as a door closed. I let go of Edward and looked in the general direction of Charlie's door faster than I thought I would have been able to, but it was closed and he was inside. I sighed and walked to the kitchen.

"Why are you so afraid of him?" Edward asked, following me as I got a glass of water.

"I'm not _afraid_ of _him_," I said. "I'm afraid of what he can _do_, which as my father, is a lot."

"But you're nineteen. An adult. You can make your own decisions," he persuaded.

"Yeah, just because I'm an adult doesn't mean I'm immune to the guilt trip, or to the fact I haven't seen him since August when I won two TCAs," I argued.

"Didn't he come visit you in your show in Seattle?" Edward asked.

"No," I stated. "There was a case of these weird bears and some weird killing in Forks, and he didn't have the money and told me not to pay for it. But mostly because of the damn bears. You know they've been there since you guys left. Which is almost a year."

"Do you want me to check that out, Bella?" he asked.

"No, I mean, what good would it do?" His eyes gleamed and immediately I knew what he was thinking. "_No_, Edward! You cannot hunt them! People would notice why there are suddenly no bears. They're not stupid."

"I know," he chuckled. "It was just a thought." He kissed my cheek and my small irritation went away.

"Bella?" Charlie called. I walked away from Edward, a blue plastic cup filled with water in my hand, and called out.

"Yeah, Dad?"

He opened the door and walked out, holding something in his hand, only by his thumb and forefinger. "Who was staying in this room before me?"

He showed me the item in his hand. A tampon. Oh, crap. I blushed deeply.

"Angela," I said slowly. "She got her period while she was here and I guess she couldn't find that one before she left. Sorry, Dad, I guess."

"You at least cleaned the sheets, right?" he asked skeptically.

"Yeah, Dad." Then I frowned as I remembered how hard we'd checked to see if every single tampon was inside the box before she left. "Where did you find that?"

Now Charlie blushed and ran his other hand through his hair. "In the bottom drawer."

"Why were you looking in there? There are three more drawers. No one uses the bottom one," I said.

Again he ran his hand through his hair. "I wanted to see if anything was in them..." He dropped the tampon in my palm and walked back inside the room and closed the door behind him.

"Again, I don't wanna know what he's thinking," I said, walking to the kitchen and throwing the unused tampon in the trash. I washed my hands and drank the water, waiting for Charlie to come out. When he finally did, he was wearing jeans, a white T-shirt and sneakers.

"Hey, Dad, you wanna go have lunch? It's getting pretty late and my appetite is, too," I said.

"Sure, Bells," he said. "Where are we going?"

"Um, Pizza Hut, or if you feel like eating anything else, it's ok," I said.

"Is Edward coming, too?" Charlie asked.

"No, sir, I ate before meeting Bella here," Edward piped up. Then he turned to me. "Unless, you want me to tag along."

"Whatever you want, Bella," Charlie said, though his body language suggested otherwise.

I hated being put on the spot like this. Naturally, as an artist, recently I'd been put in this decision _a lot_. I knew how to make the decision fair, but I didn't know if it should be.

"Why don't you and Edward talk during lunch?" I offered. "I mean, Edward's not going to eat, but he wants to tell us about his... His college experience so far! Yeah, that."

Edward glared at the side of my head that was facing him, and Charlie looked at me with a look of utter disbelief on his face.

"Aw, come on, let's just get in my car, alright?" I asked.

Charlie reluctantly nodded and Edward was quick to follow. I smiled and grabbed my bag and keys and lead the way to the car. We decided to eat at Pizza Hut, or rather I suggested the place, Charlie merely grunted, still mad because of the Edward news, and Edward shrugged.

Oh, this was going to be a _long_ week.


	20. Chapter 20

**I don't own Twilight, any of the songs I have used, 10 Things I Hate About You (OMG, it was CANCELLED!), or the 'He Could Be The One' Season three Hannah Montana line I used.  
**

**Review, please. Enjoy.**

**BPOV:**

Charlie was staying one week, and so far it had only been a day, but it had been _torture._ I mean, Charlie had been making snark comments during lunch, only talking when the waiter asked what our orders would be, and he'd been nothing but rude to Edward and me. After lunch, I suggested we walk around the park, but Edward insisted he be excluded and we should have some father-daughter time. Yeah, not so much.

I tried to make conversation, something oh so unusual for me, but he ignored it. And after our walk, I got us Chinese take out, but he ate in freaking silence, not even bothering to ask me how the tour had been. We got home and he went in to take a shower, and I used that time to think.

I knew he was just being a Dad, worrying about Edward hurting me, mad at me that I'd gotten back with him, even after he hurt me, and I knew he was mad partly because he thought he'd raised me better than to just run back to someone who'd hurt you and not even make them beg. But I had made Edward beg, well, almost. But that's not the point.

After Charlie finished taking a shower, he changed into a T-shirt and PJ pants and sat on the couch, turned on the TV and played a sports channel, which was showing some boxing match.

I sighed and went into my room to change into PJs. I picked out long PJ pants, a loose white V-neck T-shirt and put them on, washed my face and went to the kitchen. Charlie's favorite beverage when he was angry was Vitamin R, or hot cocoa. I realized I didn't have the beer, but I made cocoa. I sat next to him on the couch and gave him a mug, which he grabbed, then put on the coffee table.

"Boxing? Well, nothing like two grown men beating the snot out of each other to bring a father and a daughter closer together," I tried. I put my mug down and hugged his arm, but he glared at the TV. "Ooh, that's _gotta_ hurt. But I don't care. As long as daddy's with me."

He shrank away from me and picked up his mug.

What? He blatantly ignored my odd attempt at conversation. I tried again.

"So, how's Harry Clearwater?" I asked.

"Dead," Charlie responded in a dead tone. "Sue's fine, though. Better than fine, I'd say, except for those kids."

I saw this as an opening for conversation, but he was still glaring daggers at the TV. And it really wasn't my business.

"What's going on with Leah and Seth? Her kids, right?" I asked.

He grunted, and I knew he didn't want to talk about it. I doubted they were up to anything bad, like drugs or gangs or anything, because I'd met Leah before, and she was a nice girl. Hard spirited and sad, maybe, but good. And Seth reminded me of Jacob. As in, innocent and sweet.

"Why are you so mad at me?" I asked.

"Bella, I'm just frustrated." He sighed and turned the TV on mute, then turned to me. "I know Edward hurt you badly, and I don't want you to go through such pain again. I thought you knew better than that, Bella." He sipped a bit of his cocoa and continued. "You need to know I don't support this, and I don't like it. That's final."

"But-," I tried.

"I said that's final," he said, finality in his tone.

"I am nineteen. You can't keep telling me what to do." I looked at him, though he was looking at the TV. "I can make my own decisions, and clearly they haven't all been bad, since I'm known with a Taylor Swift reputation, not a Lindsay Lohan rep, right?" I got up angrily and walked to the kitchen, dropped all the cocoa in the sink and walked to my room. I got the guitar and started angrily strumming, maybe hoping for a song, but I realized that if I continued to torture my guitar I could end up killing it. And I loved her. So I brushed my teeth and grabbed the first book on the book shelf, which happened to be _The Outsiders_. I loved this book, but I really didn't want to read it now. So I grabbed my iPod, hoping maybe a song could calm me down.

I knew it was stupid to be upset. Okay, maybe not stupid, but unreasonable. He was just being a Dad, worried about me, but I couldn't help it.

_Tik tok  
On the clock  
But the party don't stop, no  
Oh-oh-whoa  
Oh-oh-whoa  
Don't stop  
Make it pop  
DJ blow my speakers up  
Tonight  
Imma fight  
Till we see the sunlight  
Tik tok-_

The music was interrupted by a tap on my window. I pulled my earbuds off and paused the song, then stood and walked over and opened the window.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he climbed in.

"Your father's only worried about you, Bella," he started. "It's all my fault. If I had never hurt you so much then he wouldn't be this way. I'm sorry."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. I smiled, to notify him I was fine, only mad at my father for not accepting my decision. "It's fine. Really."

"No," he said. He sat on the chair and put his head in his hands. "Bella, maybe he's right. Maybe I shouldn't be with you. For the reasons he resents and for my own." He sighed. "You know what I am and what I do, and even though I would try to never hurt you, you know I could, so easily."

"Shut up!" I said, exasperated. "I don't want to hear you talking like this." I got up and sat on his lap, pushing his hands and head upward. "It's not true and I don't care. Charlie can think what he wants, but he can't control my life." I kissed his cheek.

He tried to smile and failed miserably, but kissed me nonetheless.

I grinned into the kiss, ending it, and looked at him.

"Sorry," I said.

"It's okay, Bella," he said.

We talked for a little while, but I started yawning around nine, and he told me to go to sleep. I heard the TV turn off and the lights went out and Charlie walked around the house. Before I could even register his soft footsteps approaching my closed door, Edward had zipped out the window and closed it. I quickly grabbed my iPod and turned it on as I heard the door creak open. I looked up innocently.

"Bella, I'm going to turn in," Charlie told me.

I nodded and he closed the door again. Then he opened the door again.

"Why are you sitting in your bed in the dark, listening to music?" he asked it as if vampires would fly before I would be sitting in my bed in the dark listening to music. As if.

"What? It's what I do. Creative processes, Daddy," I said innocently. He shrugged, muttering something about artists and their overly odd ways, and closed the door. I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard his footsteps down the hall.

I walked to the window and called for Edward, but he was never there, so I slipped under the covers and fell asleep instantly, forgetting the window was open and the air wasn't on.

...

I woke up to the sun and heat seeping inside my room. The window was on and the air off, so I was sweaty and sticky all over. I stood and closed the door, then stretched and checked my watch. It was seven twenty-four. Why so early? I sighed and grabbed some sweats and went to the bathroom, but not before turning on the air to make sure I went back to a cold room.

I walked to the bathroom and turned the water on. I closed the door and took my PJs off and took a relaxing shower. I even washed my hair and decided to blow dry it if it would make me feel better. Once my hair was impeccably straight, and I was totally relaxed, I walked outside my room. It was only eight something, so I grabbed a book and lay down on my bed, feeling the cool air on my skin, reading my favorite parts. In around twenty minutes, my stomach grumbled, and I got up, turned the air off, and walked to the kitchen. I made some breakfast and ate it, undisturbed. I really couldn't care less that Charlie was in his room, ignoring me. Really. Sure, I wanted to spend time with him, but he was angry at me, and I'd rather have people work that out by themselves. Not professional, but how I work.

I changed into my clothes and knocked on Charlie's door. He opened it, and he looked tired.

"Yeah?" he slurred.

"I'm going Christmas shopping, okay? Call me if you need anything," I said.

"Is-" He yawned. "Is Edward going with ya?"

"Nah, unless he wants to. But probably not." I rolled my eyes. "I've got a big Hollywood Christmas party we're both going to, and I'm going to be trying on dresses and looking at shoes and other stuff like that. He'll probably be bored."

Charlie nodded and closed the door, and I could hear the shuffling of his feet and the thump as he threw himself on the bed. I giggled and got my purse with keys, iPod and other necessities and walked out the door. I drove to the nearest mall and walked to the jewelery shop. I'd overheard Renee saying she wanted a new black pearl necklace, but with Phil's budget he couldn't afford it. I got her the necklace and matching earrings, and a complementary wallet that came with it.

For Demi, a studded, slim wallet. For Selena, a pair of gold hoop earrings. For Taylor, white flats with a purple butterfly inscribed in them. For Bridgit, a DVD she'd been dying for. For Alice, the whole Vampire Diaries Season One collection in box set. She liked the idea of other vampire shows because they were so far off. For Charlie.

Oh, God, I knew next to nothing about what Charlie liked. I knew he liked baseball, basketball and football, but teams were all the same to me. I didn't know which he liked and which he didn't. I couldn't get him something like a stupid baseball cap, and I couldn't tell him the present was taking him to the Christmas party, because I'd already told him both of us were going. Wait! A suit.

The only suit he owned was the one he used for his Senior graduation, which was at least two sizes too small. I could get him a black, elegant, classic suit and shoes to match it. With that thought, I raced to the my car and left all the small bags in the trunk, then asked where I could get a men's suit. They told me to go to the Macy's at the mall. I walked through the women's shoes department, promising myself I'd go through it later.

"Excuse me?" I asked the nearest store clerk. He looked up from a clipboard and mumbled a dismissive 'Yeah?', then saw who I was. His eyes widened and he smiled. He looked _really_ familiar.

"Oh, hey, Bella," he said. "Didn't expect to _see _you here." Mike shook his head. "What are you doing in Macy's? I thought you'd be shopping somewhere fancier or more expensive."

"Hey, Mike," I said, smiling. I hadn't seen him in almost a year. "I'm looking for a suit for Charlie. A Christmas present, I guess. What are _you_ doing here?"

"I work here now. I'm studying near here and this is my part-time job. I took these few days on because I really need the extra money," he said. "So, uh, a suit for Charlie, eh? What's the occasion?"

"A Hollywood Christmas party," I said. I blushed as his eyes widened. I fumbled with the strap of my purse, which hung on my shoulder.

"Who's party is it?" he asked, obviously wanting to be in on the Hollywood scene. Truth be told, it was a thrill to me that Beyonce had invited me to her party.

"Beyonce's. I'm so excited for it," I said.

"Oh, cool," he said. He shook his head again. I noticed he stopped trying to immitate Edward's look and went back to gelling his hair in spikes. His face wasn't that round anymore, but he was still as oblivious and talkative as ever. "You know, you've become so confident. I remember your first day at Forks High, when you were so shy, and now I people look up to you and stuff. It's so weird, you know? I can say I knew you before your CD, which, by the way, I love."

"Gee, thanks," I said. "So, Charlie's suit?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, the suit," he said. "How do you want it?" We began walking as I described the ideal suit, with the vest and tie, and he got me the closest thing possible, which was pretty darn good. I asked him for the shoes and we got them, and then the bill was around seven hundred dollars. It was nice, though.

"Bye, Mike," I said. He leaned in for a goodbye kiss on the cheek and I obliged, knowing I probably wouldn't see him in a long time.

I walked to my favorite boutique in the mall and went to my girl there.

"Hey, Maya," I greeted her. She air kissed both my cheeks and I told her what I wanted. Christmas was three days away and I couldn't get one custom-made, but I could get the closest thing possible. I wanted something Christmas-y, but with the sweet and edgy me-touch. What we came up with in the store was a blood-red strapless mini-dress. The hem had black lace sewn in and on the right side it had a black bow just above the lace, which was bloused. She told me to wear black stiletto shoes and a black and red or just black lace clutch and silver or black jewelery. And to let my stylist decide what to do with my hair.

I bought the dress and the clutch there, and walked to Macy's again for the shoes. I'd seen the perfect, simple and really high, sating black shoes, and they weren't even that expensive, so I got those. I carried all the heavier (which truly was everything) to the car and left the suit and my dress hanging in the hangers inside the car and saw some photographers. I smiled and waved, feeling as though they were watching my every move, and walked back inside for the jewelery.

Inside Tiffany's, I asked the lady to get me black and elegant things, but that didn't look too old on me. The lady asked for my autograph and then helped me find amazing picks. Dangly earrings with a few black jewels hanging off, a necklace with the same jewels, a matching bracelet, and ring, and a pair of diamond earrings as a present for Chelsea. I was going to get a custom-made coffee mug for Mr. Webber with his name inscripted in it.

I walked out of the store and bought a scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream and sat on a two-chair table, resting my legs. It was one in the afternoon, but I was already so tired. And now that I wasn't occupied, I felt exhausted that Edward wasn't with me. I knew from experience that if I called him now and asked him to walk around the mall with me he wouldn't mind, but I knew from the movie, that at one point, Brandy, my best friend had a heartbreak moment because she was the most clingy girlfriend ever. Edward wouldn't mind, but I didn't like to seem needy.

However, when I stood to throw out the napkin, he was standing right outside. The walls were glass, and he was behind the trash can. He smiled and I smiled and I walked outside. I hugged him as soon as I reached him.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey, yourself," he said. "I saw you earlier, but you looked really concentrated looking for a 'Christmas-y dress with sweetness and edge', whatever that is." He smiled and kissed the my hair. "I've been meaning to ask you. How can a dress have sweetness and edge at the same time?"

"A bow and lace and black are the perfect combination, but there are others. I usually have sweet or edgy, but I wanted to do both." I shrugged out of his embrace. "What do you want to do?"

"What were you gonna do?" he asked.

"Uh, I think swimsuit shopping," I said, just to see his reaction.

"You're lying," he said slyly, teasing me, too. "You can act, but you're a terrible liar off-screen." He laughed.

"I was actually not sure what to do," I said. "All I know is I need to get inside my apartment with all the bags without Charlie seeing his stuff."

"I could carry it," he offered.

"Nah, I know he'd look at you, and I don't want him to-." My phone rang '_Cause I'll be there, In the back of your mind, From the day we met, To you makin' me cry, And it's just too bad-'. _I answered before I started singing along.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey, Bella," Charlie's voice said.

"Oh, hi, Dad. What's up?" I made 'Shut up!' movements at Edward. Charlie _couldn't_ know Edward was with me after I told him he wouldn't be.

"I wanted to know if you and Edward wanted to go to the beach," he said clamly.

"The beach, huh? You're inviting me and Edward to the beach?" I was only repeating the information for Edward's sake, even though I'm sure he could hear the other line.

"Yeah, that's _just_ what I said," Charlie said in an annoyed voice. "Are we having a bad connection, or..."

"Oh, no, no, no, just wanted to make sure," I rushed. "Actually, Edward can't go to the beach."

"Why not?"

"Um, you know how... How he's so pale?" I looked at Edward for backup. He whispered 'skin problems' in my ear. "Well, he has a skin disease that doesn't allow him to be exposed to the sun very long, or else he'll... um... Well, it'll shock you, that's for sure." Edward glared at me.

"Skin disease, huh? How come they always went hiking and camping?" I could tell Charlie hardly believed a word I said, so I just made up the most ridiculous stories.

"Well, he always tagged along, but in the shade. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie have the same disease, and I think Esme, too, which explains why they're so pale," I tried.

"Fine, no beach," Charlie sighed. "Wait, can you and I go? I still wanna see it."

"Why'd you wanna go to the beach?" I asked.

"I have to tell you something, and I think Edward should hear it, too, if he's going to be around," Charlie explained. "Come home, and we'll talk, okay? Are you done at the mall?"

"Um, yeah, just let me pick up some lunch," I said. "I'll be home ine thirty minutes. Bye."

"Bye." The line went dead.

"Let's go to the little Pizza Hut down there," I said. "I'll order a personal, alright?"

He nodded and we walked off to the food court, me telling him about my day. Mostly describing how a bloused dress with a bow and lace can be edgy. He couldn't understand that. I ordered the pizza and my soda and we sat on a table and I began eating. I hadn't realized I was hungry while I was shopping, but now I realized I was starving.

"Your father wasn't angry at you yesterday," Edward stated.

"What are you talking about? Of course he was." I swallowed a lump of cheese and drank a sip. "He even ignored my attempt at conversation. It's obvious he was mad."

"I didn't say he wasn't mad. I said he wasn't mad at _you_," Edward said. "He was mad at himself for keeping a secret so long. I heard his mind. He's decided to tell you today."

"What's he going to tell me?" I asked.

"He's going to tell you. I won't get in the way." He smiled suddenly, making my whole day brighter. It was one of those killer smiles that aren't planned or posed or fake. A real, genuine smile. "You need to be surprised. As I said, you're great _on_-set. Off-set, however, dare I say, you suck."

"Take that back!" I exclaimed.

"Make me!" I threw a scrunched up napkin at him and he dodged it, and stuck his tongue out at me.

I finished my pizza, threw out the box and empty cup and walked with Edward to my car. We got in and I drove. I got home and Edward helped me carry everything into the apartment. I settled everything in my room, calling out as I entered the house.

"Bella, can you sit down on the couch?" Charlie called out.

"Sure," I yelled back. I dragged Edward out and sat on the couch, him beside me. We waited like five minutes until Charlie came out, discussing Beyonce's Christmas party.

"So I'm allowed to bring one person, and I thought taking Charlie would be fun, since he never does this kind of thing. And then it'll be fun. Oh, and Demi and Taylor are both going, but Taylor's flying in. Oh, and Miley Cyrus will be there, too, probably lap-dancing some gay old man. And then everybody's gonna get a goodie bag."

I sighed as Charlie walked out in a T-shirt and khaki shorts. His hands were in his pockets and he was looking at the floor. I waited patiently while he paced the living room, I guess thinking of how to word what he was going to say.

"Sweetie, you asked about Sue Clearwater yesterday. I said she was better than fine. Mostly because... I'm dating her."


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey guys. Oh my gosh, so much has happened to me since last time I updated. If you don't really care, then skip everything in BOLD here and go on. If you do, enjoy.**

**Okay, first, The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. It came out last Saturday, and I went to Border's to get it around eight thirty, even though I had a swollen eye. (I'll get to that later.) I knew this story wasn't going to be a very happy story, because obviously, Bree dies at the end. Sad, but inevitable. Damn Volturi. Anyway, it's a beautiful and sad book, and the reason it's sad is because you see how everything really was and how Bree really was, and you want her to live and go on, but you know she's going to die anyway. And it's not like I almost did with J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter)—that I would've been so mad if she'd killed Harry. (No, lazy movie-goers who haven't read the books, he doesn't literally, really die.) I can't be mad at Stephenie for killing Bree, because she did it three years ago. I don't want to put any spoilers, so if you want to discuss the book or anything, send me a review saying so and PM me.**

**Second, I'm in a really expensive and really **_**EXHAUSTING**_** camp. I'm not even joking. Today, we hiked for two hours in a forest, I got my favorite jeans muddy, and my hair all messed up. And I ate a Subway sub with all the cheese melted and all the bread soft and mushy. Ugh. It's really tiring, and I'm only thirteen. Next year, definitively NOT signing up. It may seem like I'm not updating soon, but I'm trying. I recently discovered if I pass a document to a flash drive and then copy paste that to a computer with Internet, then I could upload a chapter. So I wrote this on my laptop over the course of four days. I am writing, but I'm also getting so many ideas, and I'm not sure which I'll post after this one. Because this story will probably be over in less than five chapters. I've told people a long time ago, Two to three, or something along those lines, and then I keep adding more.**

**Third, about the swollen eye, I woke up on Saturday morning and it was really big and swollen. And my stepmother put some drops on it, and it went to an almost-normal size. Then I went to mom's house, and it got big again, so she called the hospital and told her to just put something cold against it. So I had that for ten minutes and then we got the Bree Tanner book.**

**Also, I wanted to send a sarcastic shout out to all the stories I was reading last summer, and how they haven't updated since summer ended. I won't mention them, but I loved them, and they haven't updated in so long!**

**And lastly, the MTV Movie Awards. This year, I watched the whole thing. And damn, was it disturbing. Whoever was beeping out all the 'Fuck's had to be getting a good pay this year. 'WHAT A SURPRISE! TWILIGHT WON EVERYTHING!' I'm not a die-hard fan, (I used to be, but I kind of realized that is **_**really**_** annoying, so I toned it down.) and I really don't think some of those awards, like best actress, were deserved, or Global Superstar. I voted for Kristen for best actress, but then I saw The Blind Side. Sandra Bullock won the Generation Award, though, so that's fine. LOL. Later, then.**

**Wow, that was a REALLY long Author's Note. Summary: Comment on the chapter, the MTV Movie Awards and the Bree Tanner book. :) Enjoy **

**BPOV:**

"You're dating Sue?" Charlie nodded, looking needlessly guilty. "That's great, Dad!" I jumped up and hugged him. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me.

"You're not mad because I didn't tell you?" he asked, sounding confused.

"Not really," I said. I let go of him and smiled. "As long as you're happy."

"Okay then," Charlie smiled, relieved. "Why don't we go-." My phone rang again, but the default ring.

'_Starstruck, Camera flashing, Cover of magazines, Starstruck, Designer sunglasses, Living the dream as a teen, Paparazzi, Cars, Hollywood, Boulevard—'_

I answered. "Hi, it's Bella."

"Oh, Bella, I was meaning to talk to you, but I just got your number. It's Beyonce," she said. "I wanted to—." I didn't let her finish.

"Oh, my God, I'm on the phone with Beyonce!" I shouted. I started jumping up and down, earning weird looks from Edward and Charlie. I stopped. "Sorry, I got a brief fan girl moment. Please continue." I heard laughter on the other line.

"It's okay, Bella," she said. "I wanted to say that since most people who are invited to the party are bringing celebrity friends, and the whole point of the party is to meet new people, so I changed it. You can bring three or four guests and pose with them all at the red carpet."

"Oh," I started. "Wait, all of my celebrity friends are invited already. Who can I bring?"

"I've heard recent rumors you got a boyfriend," she humored. "Why don't you bring him?"

"Where did you hear that?" I asked. "It might be true, but I haven't told anybody."

"It's all over the web, with pictures and everything," she said. "Oh well, I'll see you in a few days, okay?"

"Yeah, later, bye," I said. I hung up.

"Why do you have '_Starstruck'_ as your ring tone?" Edward asked.

"It's how I feel, really," I said. "Anyways, you can go to the Christmas party, if you'd like."

"I'd love to," Edward said.

"Um, well, can I call Sue?" Charlie asked.

"Sure, Dad," I supplied. "The Skype stuff is set up in the computer. You can use my account." He nodded and walked off.

"That turned out quite well," Edward said. I smacked his arm and smiled, then pulled him down with me on the couch. I turned on the TV and surfed for anything good. I was about to settle for a Discovery Channel show when my phone rang the default ring again.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey, Bella? It's Alice. Alice Cullen," a high soprano voice said.

"Alice!" I squealed. "Oh, my God, hey! How are you?"

"Great, now that I'm speaking to you," she chirped. "I heard you're going to the biggest Christmas par-tay in Hollywood and I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure, what?"

"Actually, three things. One, are you taking Edward?" she asked.

"If he wants to go," I supplied.

"I'll get his clothes. Okay, two, do you have your hair and outfit ready?"

"Not hair, but the outfit, yes." I walked to the balcony and breathed in the fresh air.

"I'll take care of that," she said. "And three, can… I know we haven't seen each other in so long, but… can _I_ come with you?"

I knew she was serious. I debated. The red carpet started around seven, and I always arrived about thirty minutes after to be fashionably late, and there would be lights, but the sun wouldn't be shining. Plus, it'd be more fun if Alice went with me. But everyone would wonder who she was. Sure, there were reporters who would ask, but it would still be awkward.

"I guess, but only if you don't wear red," I joked.

"Ooh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" she chirped. "Can we go shopping so we can get my stuff?"

"I've already shopped _too much_ today, Alice," I said. "Why don't you go and surprise me?"

"Oh, alright," she said. "Can I come over? Can we have a sleep over?"

"Uh, sure, I guess, but you have to know Charlie's here," I said.

"Oh. It's ok, I don't mind," she said.

The sleepover would be tomorrow, December 23rd, and she'd come over after dark. We discussed the details and hung up. I told Charlie, and he seemed delighted at the thought of seeing the legendary Alice Cullen again. He said it was fine and turned on the TV. He started watching some baseball game with Edward, and instantly I knew I wasn't excluded, but I wouldn't exactly be missed if I left. So I walked to my bedroom and surfed the Internet. Twitter was out of question, since I didn't have anything to Tweet, I still didn't have an official FaceBook page, and I got tons of fan mail, but I didn't feel in the mood to answer '_Aw, thanks. Thank you for all the compliments. I love being an inspiration. I hope you have a great Christmas and a happy New Year._' a dozen times, so I watched WHATTHEBUCK on YouTube. I must say, Michael Buckley was funny. Even when he said my crying on Ellen was baby-ish, I couldn't be mad at him. He said it in such a funny way. I had an official YouTube page, though it wasn't my name, and I subscribed and commented.

'_Hi, you just talked about me in your video. I have to say you're hilarious and I can't be mad about you saying it's stupid to cry on TV, because I really deserve that. Everyone else keeps saying 'Oh, poor Bella' but I like the way you criticize! Keep it up, Buck!'_

I watched videos and made one of my own, then checked the daily gossip. What I found on GossipChickOnline wasn't exactly comforting.

**BELLA SEEN AGAIN WITH HOT GUY—SOURCES CONFIRM—BOYFRIEND ALERT  
Bella was seen yet again with the hot guy we reported on a few days ago, and this time, a close friend confirms the relationship.  
"Bella wants to keep it a secret because of what's happened before with other celebrity couples," the insider reports. "She wasn't planning on getting back together with him, but she loves him so much. I don't know if she's taking him to Beyonce's party, but it's highly probable. She'll probably say it's a close friend, but you know by the way they look at each other."  
Back together, eh? So this could be the guy Bella cried over on Ellen, and the one her songs are about. We all know the rumor that Bella isn't the nice girl everyone thinks she is, but if she is that party girl from Ke$ha's party, then who's to say this guy can tame her? We'll have cameras and reporters at Beyonce's party, so anything that goes on will be here.  
Always keeping you posted with the young Hollywood news!  
Here's a clip of the video from Ke$ha's party and some pictures of her boyfriend and her.  
-GossipChickOnline **

Okay, I should probably explain the Ke$ha's party girl rumor. Ke$ha had a Halloween party in the same town I was in that week, and there was leaked footage of a girl with pale skin wearing booty shorts and a bra with my hair color giving a lap dance to most of the guys present who asked her to. Lots of people concluded it was me, but you can never see the girl's face, and no one at the party said anything. Ke$ha had said before she'd invited me, but then said I couldn't go. Some other witnesses said it wasn't me, and that rumor was cleared up, but some people changed their views of me.

Anyway, I ignored this chick, because she always went out of her way to embarrass me. I sighed and went on Twitter. I Tweeted '_Bored of the same old gossip. Come up with something new and refreshing! :p'_ and started looking up celebrities I didn't know who would be at Beyonce's party.

After seven, I decided to make pasta and texted Edward to make up an excuse since I was cooking. He excused himself and said he had to call his family to tell them he was staying longer and left. I could tell as I dumped the spaghetti in the boiling water that Charlie was still a little miffed at me for getting back together with Edward. I let the pasta boil and cook, stirring it occasionally, until nine minutes had passed. I took them out and got the sauce and parmesan cheese, plus the plates and glasses. I set the table and everything, and called Charlie.

"Hey, Dad, dinner's ready!" He stood and turned the TV off, then sat down. "Dig in."

"Thanks, Bella." He grabbed his fork and looked at it longingly.

"You missing Forks?" I asked.

"How'd you notice?" he asked, laughing. He gathered some spaghetti in his fork and popped them in his mouth.

"Dad," I said, "you looked at a fork as if you missed it."

I ate some pasta, too, and it was quiet. I gulped down some water and cleared my throat. Charlie looked up at me expectantly.

"I wanted to invite Tony for Christmas," I stated.

Tony was my cousin. I hadn't seen him since I was thirteen, but I loved him to death. He was, besides Edward and Jacob, the only guy who really understood me. He made family gatherings worthwhile. He'd been e-mailing me and calling me a lot, asking me to hang out, and saying he missed me. And he was studying in San Francisco, alone, and he didn't have the money to go back home for the holidays. I thought it would be a nice thing to do. And since it was Charlie's sister's son, I didn't think Charlie would mind.

"I think that's a wonderful idea, Bells," Charlie said after a moment of thought. "Are you gonna pay his ticket? 'Cause if he can't afford one to his parents, I don't think he can afford one for L.A."

"I've got it covered, Dad," I said. "I'll call him. He's already packed."

"Good, then," he said. We finished eating, and I brought out a chocolate cake I'd gotten especially for him, trying to get him in a good mood. I served him a huge piece and told him to dig in. I served myself a big piece and put it in front of me, but didn't start eating. Charlie looked at me after a moment, probably wondering why I wasn't savoring Aunty Em's homemade Triple Chocolate Delight.

"Do you feel all right, sweetie?" he asked.

"No," I stated.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital? Or get you some pills or…?" he asked, unsure of what to do.

"It's not a physical pain, Dad," I said. "It's emotional. You have to accept Edward and I love each other, and even though you and Sue love each other, you're going to hurt each other in some moment, and you're going to see that no matter how much she hurts you, you're still going to love her, and you're going to try and get back with her, because you love her."

"So, just so I'm clear, you're sure Edward's never gonna hurt you again?" he asked skeptically, unsure of where the conversation was going.

"I don't know for sure," I said, "but I trust him not to, and if he does, then he failed."

"Come again?"

"Love is exposing yourself to being broken, but trusting that person to hold you carefully," I said.

"Then there's nothing I can do to change your mind about Edward," he said. "I understand."

"You don't know how much that means to me," I said.

"But just so we're clear, no kissing while I'm around. Hand holding, arms on waist and hugging is fine, and long as his hand's not on your backside," he said in his no nonsense voice.

"Yes, Chief, now dig in," I laughed. I stabbed the cake and shoved it in my mouth, loving the taste of cold chocolate on my tongue. After we were both done, and Charlie had seconds, I washed the dishes and took a shower, then called Tony.

"Hey, Bella!" his voice greeted me.

"Tony! Oh, my gosh, I've missed you so much!" I said. "Listen, Charlie said you can come, so get your ticket ready—you leave tomorrow at eleven and arrive here at five in the afternoon, okay. Ready?"

"Oh, cool, awesome." He took a deep breath. "Hey, you still have no boyfriend?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I read an article online that said you were back with the douche you cried over on Ellen," he said. "And the one your songs are about, which is so not like you." He paused, probably to think. "When you were younger, when someone hurt you, you shielded yourself away from them, and you forgot about them. Remember Samantha in fifth grade? The girl who told you you looked like the crap she saw in the morning, even though she was your best friend? After that, you went home and cried, and the next day you looked as if nothing had happened, but you didn't talk to her and you didn't look at her."

"Yeah, yeah, I get your damn point, Tony, but I love him," I said. "And don't call him a douche, because I don't know what that is and it could be something worse than I'd rather have you say."

"A douche bag is a bag of shit, which makes 'douche' shit," he explained.

"Well, that's mean, but I can live with that, I guess," I said. "But, whatever, he's really nice, once you get to know him. I gotta go, but I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Bye."

"Bye, Bella, love you," he said.

"Love you, too, bye." I hung up.

I put my phone on vibrate and just as I put it in my pocket, it vibrated again. It only vibrated twice, which signaled a text. I flipped the phone open, reading a text from Edward.

"_Who's Tony?- E_"

I laughed and called him. As soon as he picked up I spoke.

"Come here and I'll explain," I said through laughter.

"Is Charlie asleep?" he asked.

"In a few minutes he will be." Right on cue, Charlie called out he was going to bed. "Yeah, exactly." I thought for a second. "Where are you?"

"Walking in the beach with my shoes off and my jeans rolled up," he said, sounding sarcastic.

"I thought you hated sarcasm because it was a nice way to tell someone they're hair looks ridiculous or they're outfit's from the sixties," I said.

"I don't like it, but that doesn't mean I can't apply it, Bella," he said. "I was outside your bedroom window when you were on the phone, but I'm at the park near your building now."

"Well, come in ten minutes," I said. He agreed and I hung up, then hurried to turn the hot water and the air on, then picked out my PJs and closed my curtains, then hurried to the bathroom. I didn't wash my hair, but my vanilla-scented body wash and the special face wash I took to keep my skin smooth were used. I brushed my teeth thoroughly and wrapped my body in my purple towel. I walked to my room and changed quickly, then looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost ten, and I wondered where the time had gone.

I picked up _Twist_ magazine, read an article debating whether I should let my hair be natural or curl it for every event. However, in the end, they said it was my decision, but I shouldn't use any kind of iron so much, because it could seriously damage my hair in the near/far future. _Whatever_, I thought, _it's not like I curl my hair every day_. Just as I was about to read an article about the star of _Vampire Diaries_, Nina Dobrev, I heard a swish as someone moved the curtains. Right, the window was open.

I stood and opened the curtains, then moved as Edward climbed in.

"Who's Tony?" he asked as soon as he was standing up straight.

"What, no hello?" I teased.

"Who's Tony?" Edward repeated.

"My cousin," I said automatically. "Why? Are you jealous?"

"It's not illegal," he said nonchalantly.

I looked up at him, searching for his eyes, shocked at his comment. Would he really think I loved someone else like I loved him? Seriously, after all we'd been through? That hurt. I looked into his eyes, but they were hard topaz, even though his face was open. It kind of reminded me of those last few days he'd spent in Forks, and that sent a shiver my spine. His hands had come around me in a hug during my thinking, and he felt the movement.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing… just thinking," I answered. I disentangled myself from his embrace and closed the window, then sat on the bed.

"What did I do?" he asked, sitting down with me.

I noticed that his eyes had turned from hard to pleading in all of three seconds. I looked over him, and he was wearing casual sneakers, jeans, a white V-neck T-shirt, and a light blue hoodie. Most people in California wore stuff like that. Casual and comfortable, subtly not showing any vampire skin. It must have been a hard thing to do to walk around L.A. without a disco-ball effect thing happening.

But I couldn't tell Edward I was hurt he didn't trust me. We were honest with each other, yeah. And he wanted to know, yeah. And I was totally sure I could trust him, yeah. But that didn't mean I wanted him to know how much power he had over me.

"Nothing," I said, "just an article I read on the Internet that's got me down."

He kissed my cheek, smiling my favorite crooked smile. "Well, don't worry. Whatever they said about you isn't true, and I know it, and you know it, and everyone who cares about you and loves you knows it."

I tried to smile, but I felt guilty knowing that even though he thought I sucked at lying, I must have been pretty darn good to convince him. But he was frowning. Only slightly, but I knew his face so well I could see when it was distorted, even if I didn't have the amazing vampire sight.

"So, what's your cousin going to be here for?" Edward asked.

"I haven't seen him in so long, and he's studying nearby, so I thought, why not?" I said. "He couldn't afford going to his family, but I paid for his ticket here, and he's going to be staying in the other guest room." I saw the dark look in his eyes before it went away. "Wait, where are _you_ staying?"

He looked at the floor, then smiled kindly at me. "Nowhere in particular, really."

"Where?" I asked firmly. When he didn't answer, I raised my voice. "Where are you and Alice staying?"

"Alice rented a big suite in a hotel, and I stay there sometimes, but not when I leave you." He sighed. "When I leave you, I wander around till the sun comes up. Then I go to the room."

"Um, okay, then," I said awkwardly. I leaned back and breathed in deeply. I was feeling sleepy, so I told Edward, and he offered to hum the lullaby I hadn't heard in so long. I agreed and in mere minutes I was asleep.

….

"Where _is_ he?" I exploded. It was time for Tony's arrival. Where the hell _was_ he? The flight wasn't delayed. I'd made sure of that. I was getting anxious. Since I was leaning against the hood of my car, and since this was L.A., where some celebrity had to be arriving in each flight, there were paparazzi _everywhere_. Tons of them, and they weren't holding back, taking pictures, I mean. I kept a small smile in case someone was taking a picture of me, but this setting made me feel on edge.

Charlie had decided to stay cool inside the car, and Edward was going to meet up with us after he and Alice went shopping. I glanced at my watch. Five twenty. I glanced at what I was wearing, glad it was something cute and presentable. I was wearing dark blue flare jeans, a dark green V-neck T-shirt with 'Love' written in cursive in it, and my black Converse. My hair was in a high ponytail because the harsh wind had been tormenting it. I started tapping my foot against the asphalt.

Suddenly, through the doors people walked out, some looking nervous, other excited, and some just walking fast. I stood on my tip toes, trying to see a bit of Tony, at the very least.

"Tony?" I called.

"Bella?" I heard him.

I rushed to where he was and hugged him. "Oh, I've missed you so much!" I let go of him and carried his back pack to my car. "You've gotten so tall," I marveled.

"You're so beautiful," he complimented. "Sure, still the little midget you always have been, but, you know, at least you're not four feet. Anyway, my God, this is your car?"

"Yup," I said. "I picked it out with Taylor Lautner, no biggie."

"No biggie?" he said incredulously. "Bella, this is one of the best models Audi offers, and it probably costs more than anything I could ever afford." He whistled and I smiled.

"Dude, if you want, later you can drive it," I offered with a smile. He smiled back and got in the passenger seat, saying Hi to Charlie in the process, as I got on the driver's seat. While I waited for an opening so I could pull out, I looked over my one and only cousin again.

He was handsome, that much was obvious. He had chestnut curls, like Charlie, but unlike me, he had blue eyes. His skin was also pale, but it had absorbed a bit of sun in San Francisco. His features were all soft yet angular, the kind that drove girls crazy. He wore casual clothes—jeans, soccer sneakers, a green soccer jersey, and he had a blue hoodie on. I saw an opening and drove out. Charlie and Tony were discussing the latest basketball game, but once Tony saw I felt out, he started talking about the flight.

"First class was awesome, Bella," he said. "Do you always travel like that when you go places?"

"Not really," I answered. "Depends on where, when, what time I have to be there, and why."

"If you had to perform for chickens and the president, in the House of Blues, on Christmas Eve at two in the afternoon, what would you use?"

"Where would they be taking me from and where is the concert?" I teased back.

"California and you are in Florida," he answered.

"Okay, then I'd probably go in a private jet," I said logically.

"You have a private jet?" he asked.

"No, we rent them," I said. Tony laughed, though I saw no comedy in my statement.

The conversation went back to sports, but I didn't mind. Tony was here, Charlie wasn't mad at me, and the world could be bliss, for all I cared.

Or so I thought.

…..

As soon as Tony started settling in his room, the doorbell rang. Edward was a regular visitor now, so he was allowed in. I opened the door and something flung itself at me. It was cold, and it had stylish clothes on. I screamed at the impact, thinking I'd hit the floor in no time.

"Bella!" a high soprano trilled.

My back made contact with the floor, though lightly, and the person on top of me stayed there.

"Alice?" I asked.

"Duh! Who else, silly?" she teased.

"Can you please get off of me?" I asked. "My back's still human." I forgot Charlie was in the room.

"So is mine, but people won't cry if I hurt _my_ back, will they?" she said. She stood up with Edward's help, and then they both helped me.

I mouthed _'Nice cover_' to Alice.

"Bella?" Tony's voice called. "I heard a racket. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, Tony, it's fine!" I yelled.

I looked at Alice, amazed she was here. She was wearing very California-ish clothes—a yellow sundress, with white leggings underneath and white sandals. Her hair was, as always, spiky and inky black. She looked so beautiful.

"Oh, my God, you're here!" I hugged her.

"Bells, chill," Charlie warned me. I ignored him.

"Bella, oh, you look so amazing!" Alice chirped. "How's superstardom feeling? I follow you on Twitter and everything! And I love, love, love your CD!"

"Awesome," I said. "But you sound like a fan girl, and I want my friend here, not my fan."

Alice dropped her sleepover bag and took a deep, unnecessary breath and said: "Alright. Fan girl mode—off."

I laughed and welcomed them in, then closed the door. Edward's hand immediately found mine, and Charlie's eyes didn't miss that. He didn't complain, but I told them I'd go check on Tony. I felt everyone's eyes on me as I left the room, and I was suddenly glad I didn't know what they were thinking.

**What did you think? Don't forget to tell me what you thought of the chapter, the MTV Movie Awards and the Bree Tanner book. Review, bye!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey, a week has gone by, so Happy Father's Day to your fathers. And mine. I love you, Daddy!**

**I don't think I have much to say about this, so I'll talk about something out of character, the FIFA World Cup. I'm rooting for whoever wins. Haha. And I was rooting for the Boston Celtics, but I wasn't disappointed, cause I don't care about basketball. And lastly, I DO NOT OWN ANY SONGS, FRANCHISES, ACTORS, CARS, LYRICS, SHOWS, BRANDS, OR ANYTHING ELSE I MIGHT HAVE MENTIONED. **

**BPOV:**

Edward left after six thirty for the all-girls sleepover. Tony, obviously, couldn't leave, but he promised that after dinner he'd keep to himself in his room. Charlie said there was a game on, and if it didn't bother us, he'd be there till midnight. Since we were just going to stay in my room all night, as Alice had no doubt planned and seen, Tony and Charlie decided to watch a soccer game, followed by a baseball game.

Alice's excuse was that she'd had a huge lunch and didn't need the extra energy, which I fervently agreed with. I made hamburgers with bacon and the whole salad bar, plus French fries. I teased Alice about what she was missing, and I knew she was hiding her true disgust through the lightly disgusted mask her face was as she said she was a vegetarian. Everyone ate, and within twenty minutes of serving the food, Tony and Charlie were already sitting on the couch, yelling: "GOAAAAAAL!"

Alice and I snickered as we watched them. I took out my camera phone and taped their ridiculous dance, hoping to Tweet it later. We walked to my room, where Alice had already stowed her bag, and closed the door.

It was a hot night, and I turned on the AC, closing the window.

"Alice, you'll tell me if he tries anything, right?" I asked her. She knew how overprotective Edward could get.

"Definitively. This is as much as a relief to you as it is to me," she said. "I've wanted to talk to you for so long."

"Me too," I said. "So, what do you want to do?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something serious before we go into traditional slumber party stuff," she said. I nodded and she continued. "I know you've said countless times in interviews that you write all your songs, and that most of them are about one boy. Is that really true?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I do write all the songs, except a few collaborations, where I think the other person should help, too."

"Oh, this is not good," she muttered, almost to herself. "Not good at all."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because Edward listened to your album. He knew it would help him understand, but lines like _'You don't have to love me for me to, Baby ever understand, Just know I love the time that we both had'_ are heartbreaking. And he knows it's about him." She sighed. "It makes him hurt that he hurt you so much, and he told me he was reading the thoughts of your cousin, and even I can tell Tony's not a big fan of the relationship." She was spot-on, as usual.

"I was going to say Tony can go straight to hell, but I love him, so his opinion can follow whoever reports on GossipChickOnline," I said. "Man, I hate that site."

"Oh, yeah, that chick always makes you look bad," Alice said. "Whatever, nobody reads that site, anyways. Only like twenty people check it every day, and half are the staff, hoping to see if anybody commented or if it looks good."

I blushed. "How do you know that?"

Alice smiled evilly. "I hacked them. The time they reported you as the girl at Ke$ha's party, I got mad and I hacked them. I made myself an account as a staff member, and I check the inside workings every day. Just to check if they're making decent news."

I laughed. "I love you, Alice. God, I missed you so much!"

We hugged, but just then somebody called me from the Skype. I looked at the Mac computer, then saw it was Angela.

"May I? I haven't talked to her in like two weeks," I asked Alice.

"Of course," she said. I got up and sat on the chair, then clicked 'Accept'.

"Hey Ang!" I said.

"Hey, Bella! I just wanted to—." She stopped abruptly. We were video chatting, just so you know. "Is that Alice Cullen?"

"Yeah, we're having a sleepover," I said. "Wanna talk to her?"

"Hey, Angela," Alice said, walking over and standing next to me. "You look so pretty. How's college? I'd ask Bella, but she clearly doesn't know."

Angela laughed. "Thanks. It's fine, I guess, but balancing so much with the classes is hard. Ben and I broke up before the semester even started, and I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because he was getting really possessive. You know he told me that if I didn't spend Christmas with him and his family, then I couldn't go home? So stupid."

"Oh, Angela, what a jerk!" I said. "I really thought he was nice. I guess I'll take down the picture I have of you two."

"And have you partied?" Alice asked eagerly.

"Not really," Angela answered. "I mean, I went to one party, but it was a really responsible girl's party, so what we drank was soda and there were no boys, and it was her birthday, so I have not even partied irresponsibly once."

"That's my girl," I joked. "Anyway, how's Ben doing? I know it's personal, but—."

"No, it's cool." Angela smiled. "We're good friends now, and he's got a girlfriend. It's the Lauren, bitchy girl type who you know has already gotten a boob job, but whatever. It's his life."

"Yeah, I'm just glad it's okay between you two," I said.

"I read online you got back together with someone," Angela started. "Am I intruding if I ask who it is and if it's true?" Her webcam wasn't very HD, but I think her eyes were apologetic and pleading at the same time.

"It's fine." I laughed. "Where'd you read that?"

"Posh24, why?" She looked puzzled for a moment.

"There's just this one website I hate so much," I said. "Anyway, it's true. I'm back together with Edward."

"Oh, God, wow." She smiled. "I knew it would happen."

"Hey, did you watch the aired clips of my concert a few days ago in L.A.?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I sang a new song, and it's basically for you, Alice, Taylor, Renee and Charlie," I said.

"Oh, yeah, I saw that," she said. "Thanks. Anyway, I gotta go. My roommate, Linda, is getting pissed because she wants to talk to her boyfriend, who is going to a college in Alaska and she wants to tell him a few things."

"Bye, Angela," I said, waving.

"Bye, Angela," Alice chirped.

"Bye Bella and Alice," she said. She was about to click the 'Disconnect' button when her roommate screamed.

"IS THAT BELLA SWAN!"

"Uh, yeah, Linda," Angela said.

"How could you not tell me?" She ran over to the computer and pushed Angela roughly out of the way. I heard a thump that informed me Angela fell to the floor. "I am your biggest fan! OMG!"

"Bye, Ang," I said in a sing-song voice. I clicked 'Disconnect', not because I didn't want to talk to this Linda girl, but because I really wanted to talk to Alice.

Of course, the Skype system beeped again with another call from Angela, and I clicked 'Accept'. "Look, I really can't talk right now. Bye." I disconnected the call again. The girl seemed to understand and backed off, and soon Alice and I were sitting on my floor again.

"Did you want to tell me something else?" I asked Alice.

"Yeah, I did," she said. She took an unnecessary deep breath and let it out noisily. "Um, see, Edward kind of never wanted to hear your music or anything to do with you. I mean, he—he was aware that you were a singer, but he wanted to know nothing about you. Hard to do when his sister loved your music. When he saw you on Ellen, he saw how much pain he caused you, and I told him to listen to your songs. And he finally understood."

"So, basically, it's your fault he stalked me all over California?" I joked.

"Nope, that's not what I meant," Alice said. "Just meant that he wanted nothing to do with you because the pain was intensified when he saw or heard you. You don't know how much I tortured him, replaying your songs in my head."

"Alice," I sighed, "what do you want me to say?"

"Just that it's good, but bad that your lyrics are so damn real and raw," she said. Then her face brightened and she giggled. "Now, let's talk about… Logan Lerman!"

"What about him?" I asked.

"Isn't he, like, into you?" she asked.

"He asked me out when we were filming the movie, but I declined, and then we were friends. End of story." She looked incredulous.

"Didn't he go to one of your concerts, cross country? And didn't you go on a date, and then ate in the park? And didn't you kiss at Prom?" she asked.

"Kissed me for the movie, concert thing was because all my friends were going and I invited him, and that was a group thing. Alexandra Daddario and Bridgit Mendler also went," I explained. "I only like him as a friend. He's cute, yeah, but I like him as a friend."

"Oh, well, Taylor Lautner? I know he helped you pick out your car, but how did you two meet?" she asked.

"I met him at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards. I was there, getting to know some of the professional actors, and we just started talking. We're not exactly close friends, but we're friends, and he helped me pick out a car. Good timing, too, since just two days after I got my Audi Angela came," I said. "He's sweet, but not my type."

"To start with the sleepover stuff, I think we should change into PJs and do our nails," Alice said.

I nodded and pulled out my ivory sweats and T-shirt, then walked to the bathroom. I took a shower and changed into my sweats, and went back to my room. Alice was already wearing bubble-gum pink shorts and a white tank top with 'PRINCESS' printed in pink in cursive around the chest. I normally didn't concentrate on a girl's body, but Alice being a vampire made me curious.

I knew the change was supposed to beautify you, but did it change you? Alice had been committed to a mental hospital, so she's probably been starved. That's why she was so thin. She had probably been a small girl for her age. But did that mean her chest never grew? She was beautiful beyond comparison, but just not Rosalie-beautiful, with curves and lines here and there. Alice was perfect as she was, but she was so small.

I looked away and smiled to myself. The stupidity of my thoughts was so amazing that I was glad Edward wasn't here and couldn't read my thoughts. I sat on the bed, feeling the air on my arms.

"So, tell me about Tony," Alice said, "while I do your toenails."

She got my black nail polish, some cotton swabs and the toe separator thingy. She sat on the floor and grabbed my left foot.

"Well, I've known him since I was little, since we were family, I guess," I started. "He always came over with his mom during summer to Charlie's, and sometimes during Christmas to where we lived in Phoenix. They lived close by, so it wasn't much of a problem. We went to the same school, but he was a year older than me. He was popular, but he wasn't a jerk about it. We didn't hang out much because his friends didn't like me, but when we were at family things it was different. We've always kept in contact, because we really do love each other."

My phone vibrated twice, signaling the arrival of a text. I went to get it. A text from Edward. I opened it, my heart hammering.

_IT'S NOT ILEGAL! _was what he wrote.

"Wherever you are, go the hell away! This is a girls-only sleepover, and if you're just hanging by the window, I'll push you off. Don't dare come back!" I called out. I heard a light shuffling and then a thud as someone landed on the concrete below. No one screamed or anything, so I guessed no one noticed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked Alice.

"I wanted him to hear this," she said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because he needs to understand that he's not the center of your life," she said. Then her expression changed completely from the light hostility to teasing in a second. "How was filming the movie?"

She began panting the nail on my big toe.

"Honestly, though I'd never tell anyone, it was…torture to kiss anyone but Edward. But it was so different. I'm sure you've seen the 'Kisses and Lies' trailer, which has a clip of me kissing Logan. Thing is, kissing a human was so different. His lips were soft and warm, but I'd rather have hard and cold." I wrinkled my nose. "It was fun to do something so different, and I made some good friends along the way, like Bridgit. And it rocked to do something that Edward never thought I could do. And I've seen some footage, and it looks so much better than I thought. I like it, though, because so many movies now aren't driven by the story, just by the special effects and 3D and stuff, and this one is purely driven by the story, which I love."

"That's so cool," Alice commented, painting my pinky. "Did you ever get to meet the author of the book?"

"Yeah, that was _amazing_," I said. "She's so awesome, because she's from Puerto Rico, a Hispanic girl, who came up with the story when she was thirteen, and wrote it when she was fourteen, and yet it's so well-written you'd think someone like James Patterson wrote it." I took a deep breath. "I met her when I was cast, because she wanted to see if the girl was good." I smiled at the memory. "She's fifteen, and she looks so much like me. But she's much prettier, though she'd say the exact opposite. Anyway, we talked and she explained the character, and we ended up talking about how awesome it was for her that she was only fifteen, and yet she was talking to her favorite singer about how she should play her character." I giggled. "Then we talked about how cute Logan was, and then she said she didn't want me to play everything exactly the way it was, because she liked some changes, but not too many. And then in the end, I took her for ice cream. Next thing I did, I went to Border's and bought every book she'd ever written, two that are published and one in the works which came out like a month ago, and I devoured them."

"Which author is it? I know of one author who's very young, but she's never been credited as Hispanic," Alice said, starting on the other foot after applying the second coat.

"Adriana Rodriguez," I said.

"Wow," Alice whistled. "She sounds so amazing. And you say she writes in English great, even though her first language is Spanish? Does she have an accent?"

"Not at all," I said. "She writes great, and when she speaks in Spanish, it's this sort of laid-back accent of words derived of English. It's cool."

She painted my pinky, then started the second coat. "A random question, do you come up with the idea for your videos? Cause the _Bottom Of The Ocean_ one is so emotional, and the _Distracted_ one is so…rocker-chick. I love it."

In the _Distracted_ video, it started with me sitting in a room on the floor, walls bare and white, and I was wearing a white tank top, with white skinny jeans, and white Converse. As the intro started, I was looking down as the floor, but when the lyrics started, I looked up and started mouthing the lyrics, looking straight at the camera. During the first chorus, I stood up and stood against a wall while the guys in my band began painting the room with colors, me included as part of the walls. We filmed the whole song like that, then another sequence of us performing it, then me walking down a school hallway with everyone cheering and laughing, the guy at the end of the corridor I was walking down. At the end, we met in the middle of the school hallway and he took my hand, and in the white room, my clothes were color, as the walls, and he was sitting with me, wearing white, and I smiled at him, and he smiled back. And because the white was a symbol for innocence, the guys came and dumped blue paint on him, while we held hands. The end.

"Yeah, I come up with most of the ideas, and how I want it to go down, but everyone else takes care of the wardrobe and sets and the other little details," I answered. "My manager told me that I have to release a new video soon, for January, but I don't know which song to do."

"You should do a really emotional one," Alice suggested as she got the clear coat from my desk. She came back and started passing the small brush over the drier nails. "You're really good at emotional."

"Anyway, how's Jasper? And Rose and Emmett and Carlisle and Esme? I haven't heard anything from them in so long," I said, suddenly starving for information.

"Carlisle's teaching the night shift in a med school, Esme's redecorating a house in New Hampshire we're still moving into, and Jasper's taking different night courses, some old, some new. Philosopy is a new one he's taking." She took a breath and then started painting the other foot. "Rose is…conflicted. She's happy because Edward has you back and he's happy, but she's so pissed because of what he had to go through, and what he made you go through. Plus, we were staying with Tanya's family and a nomad vampire passed by, and she was really beautiful.

"She had light brown hair with naturally blond highlights that reached the middle of her back, and she was about two inches taller than you. And she was a veggie, like us, so she had topaz eyes. And she knew she had beautiful features, and she was a bitch about it. And Rose was pissed. As was Tanya, even though neither is vain. It's just we don't like bitchy vampires. It doesn't look good." She finished with my toes. "Want me to do your finger nails, too?"

I nodded and she smiled. I extended my right hand.

"Tell me about something no one knows about you," Alice said.

"I secretly love the Disney movie _Starstruck_," I said. "I think it's an amazing and sweet story, and I'd _love_ a sequel."

There was silence for a moment as she painted my pinky, then grabbed my left hand. "What model is your cellphone? I heard after you got the deal, you dumped your old one after the album dropped and got a new one from T-Mobile."

"Yeah, I did," I said. "I wanted the Comeback, but I went to like three different stores, and mind you, I told them not to treat me any different, and they didn't have it, and they didn't know when they'd get it back, so I got the Gravity 2."

"That's a cool phone, though, isn't it? Do you have Internet in it?" she asked.

"No," I answered. "For two reasons; One, Charlie said it was too expensive, and even if I'm nineteen he's still my father, and Two, I'd be Tweeting too much too often to be healthy for any one person, and I don't have a FaceBook, so what's the point, really?"

Alice actually giggled as she finished my left hand and started the second coat on the right.

"What?" I asked, feeling totally lost.

"Nothing," she said. "Just something I read on your Twitter once." She looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "It was around June 2010, but it was quite a funny Tweet. Something about Angela's compulsive disorder to take pictures, I think."

I blushed. "She was taking like a trillion pictures of us everywhere."

Alice finished with my right hand and moved on to the left on, and then finished before I spoke again.

"Why did Edward stalk me all summer in L.A.?" I asked.

"That's sorta my fault," she said. She got up and took all the stuff back to my desk, then sat back down. "I guess I told him it was ridiculous the way he was being, and he said he didn't want to make you hurt, and wanted to see if you were happy. I told him you wouldn't be _completely_ happy without him, and he wanted to see for himself.

"Just happens that when he was stalking you, you were filming a movie as a happy and quirky girl who fell in love with a practically perfect guy. That wasn't very encouraging. And you were always with someone who made you happy, like Demi Lovato, or Taylor Swift or Selena Gomez, or Angela, or Logan or Bridgit or friends, so he never really saw you mopey. Until you lost it a few times, and then when it was reported you didn't go to the shoot a day cause you didn't feel so good. That was him, right? You saw him and you got screwed up? You didn't want him to see you kissing someone else?"

"It's not that, because I'm sure he must have known it was for a movie," I said. "I think it was all the hurt that he inflicted and all the pain and everything just amplified and came back when I saw him. And I could hide it and keep myself together most of the times, when I wasn't alone. But it was harder other times."

I suddenly felt like I wanted a lighter topic. I needed to get away from the stress and pain of the darker days where Edward was just a mere memory of happier times. Wow, I really sound like a lovesick teenager. I don't like that.

"What have you been doing?" I asked.

Alice suddenly tensed and I watched as she became a statue.

"Did I say something? I'm sorry," I said.

"It's fine, Bella," Alice said mechanically. Only her mouth moved to form the words. Her expression didn't change. Then she seemed to realize her actions and relaxed, smiling at me, though it still looked forced, and her eyes were still cold. "Sorry. Nothing. I didn't do anything."

I knew out of instinct she was lying, but I didn't want to press on it, out of fear she would leave.

She got the far away look in her eye that told me she was having a vision. "Tony's going to open the door in thirty-seven seconds. Pretend you're doing my make up so he'll go away," Alice said.

I didn't argue as I got up and lead her to my make up vanity. I started putting blush on her cheeks, and just as I was about to rub it in, I heard a knock on the door. "Come in," I called out.

Tony tentatively opened the door. "I wanted to say something, but if you're busy I can tell you later," he said as he poked his head in.

"About?" I asked.

"Forget it, I'll tell you later," he said. The door closed and Alice sighed.

"What is it?" I asked.

"He was going to tell you he liked me," she said. "That's so _weird_. Usually, people don't notice me with Rosalie standing or sitting next to me."

"You are beautiful, but just a more subtle beautiful than Rosalie," I started. "She's the Juliet kind of obviously beautiful, and you're a Taylor Swift more subtle beautiful. Understand?" She nodded. "Do you still want me to do your make up?"

"Oh, definitively! I hardly ever get my make up done!" I laughed, then sighed and continued with the blush. I put in some pink and blue eye shadow, eyeliner and mascara, and then a glossy red lip color. I would have added cover up, but part of Alice's majestic beauty was the bags under her eyes, and it felt criminal to cover it up. "Now I do yours!" she sang.

I reluctantly sat down, then shot back up. "Alice, what's the point of putting on make up now? I already have my night stuff on and nobody's going to see it anyways."

"Fine, grouchy-McGrouch-pants, but I do your make up for the Christmas party," she said.

By then it was ten thirty, and I wanted to go to bed early, so I Tweeted something, called Demi, and then turned the lights off.

Alice, obviously, wasn't going to sleep, but I certainly was. She told me it was fine, and she'd wake me up in the morning, no worries. I yawned and drifted into an easy slumber, already thinking ahead to the party in two days. I hoped they weren't going to surprise me by telling me I had to perform.

….

I woke up around nine something, and Charlie was banging on the door.

I groggily got out of bed and shook my head, then opened the door.

"What do you want, Dad?" I asked.

"For you to unlock the MEGA-Sports channel on the TV!" he said. "I need to watch the coverage of a game I didn't see because I was on my flight here."

"Fine, Dad," I said. I went to the TV and unlocked the damn channel, then realized I wasn't going to get any more sleep and got Alice, then made breakfast. I made scrambled eggs, the kind Tony loved, and woke him up, then we all ate. I don't know what Alice was going to do, but she ate her small serving as if she did so every day.

After that, it was a cloudy day, perfect for the beach since the sun here was blinding when it shined too much, I offered up going to the beach. Tony was all for it, as was Alice, though Charlie was so absorbed in his show he wouldn't know if he was eating raw or ostrich eggs, so I guessed he wasn't very interested in going to the beach. I promised Alice and Tony after I cleaned up, I'd get ready and drive us to the beach, but he insisted he do it. I agreed and Alice and I went into my bedroom to change.

Alice was prepared. She had a little pink strapless bikini, and a long white tank top and jean shorts with flip flops. She changed at vampire speed, in a whirl. Before I even had my bikini out, she was changed. I smiled at her and got my stuff. This time I would wear a light blue tankini, which is the bikini where the top is like a shirt. I looked good in it, and I'd already worn my blue halter top one, anyways. I put it on with my knee-length white strapless beach dress and blew flip flops and put my messed-up hair in a high ponytail.

Tony got ready and we drove to the beach, where we spent practically all day. I didn't care that tomorrow was Christmas Eve, or that the paparazzi could be taking pictures of every ridiculous thing I did, which included jumping piggy-back on Alice around the sand, I didn't care that anyone who called me would reach my voice mail because my phone was at home, and I didn't care that I had to be thinking for ideas for a new video. All I cared about was that I was having fun with my favorite cousin and nothing could hurt me.

….

It was the afternoon, and long after we got back from the beach. Alice had immediately gone to the bathroom to shower and get ready, and probably to puke up breakfast and lunch, too. I just hoped my toilet could take it. Twenty minutes after she entered the bathroom, she walked out, her hair dry and everything. Even at my fastest, there was no way I could shower, wash my hair, dress that pretty and blow dry my hair in that time slot. Vampire speed must help a lot. Just as I was about to take off my swimsuit, my beach dress already off, the doorbell rang.

Without thinking, I screamed "I'll get it!" and ran for the door. I wrenched the door open and saw who it was, then slammed it in his face. I didn't want Edward to see me in practically my underwear, especially since I was wet.

"Alice! Get the door!" I yelled. I ran back to my room and wrapped a towel around myself, then walked out again. Edward was standing in the living room, his expression confused. He tried to smile when he saw me, but he didn't quite manage it. I knew he was trying to decipher what I was thinking, but there was no way he'd ever guess.

"You're here to get Alice? See you later," I said. I went back to my room as they exited my house, Alice dragging her bag and Edward with her. I mouthed 'Thanks' to her.

I took a shower and let my hair air dry, and put on sweats and a peach T-shirt. I was ready to relax, so I ordered a pizza instead of having to cook. We had dinner and I called Edward and Alice. I hadn't decorated the house for Christmas, because I thought I was spending it alone, but I'd bought some ornaments just in case. And who needs a tree, really?

They both agreed to come, and I even got Charlie off his lazy butt to help. Once Edward and Alice got here, we started putting little toy Santa's and Christmas ornaments on the tables and Edward put the little tinkly lights on my balcony. After that, they left and Charlie and Tony watched a baseball game while I retreated to my room.

It was only nine thirty, and I was sitting in my bed, replying to fan mail, when my phone beeped Mr. Webber's ring. Crap. He only called to congratulate me or tell me I had to quit slacking. I answered the phone before he could get worked up. It was the same time here as it was in Seattle, so he must be really pissed if he was calling me after labor hours.

"Hello?" I said.

"Bella, I know it's Christmas, but I've told you a trillion times, and I'll tell you again," he started, "you need to make a new video. I don't care what song it is or what concept it has. You need new material before the movie comes out. Your name is on the soundtrack, but you need independent stuff, and you need it before January fourteenth."

"But, Mr. Webber, I can work that in, but why so soon?" I asked. "The movie premiers in March eighteenth, and the soundtrack comes out the fifteenth. That's more than enough time."

"No. It's not." Mr. Webber got on his no-nonsense voice. "You need new material, and then a single out before the movie. So get working, okay, Bella? Merry Christmas." He hung up.

How could he do this? I know it was stupid, being outraged as I was, but it was a lot of work. I went to bed, angry, and fell asleep, dreaming up ideas for a possible video for _Forever & Always_.

**What did you think? Please review. Thanks.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey, sorry I took so long. Camp is draining me. It's over on Friday, though, and then I'm all yours. Well, available to write anyways. I'm excited—Eclipse starts in four days and I have to make plans pronto. A few things I want to say: I DO NOT OWN ANY BRANDS, TEAMS, SONGS, OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT IS COPYRIGHTED I HAVE MENTIONED/USED HERE.**

**I know that if you look in the first chapter, I used 'Chemicals React' like Bella played it for the board of directors at RED MARK RECORDS, but before I even posted that, I always meant to take that song out, because it didn't fit what had happened to Bella. So it was my bad, and I hope you can look over that so this chapter can go by smoothly.**

**I wrote this in the course of a long time for me—I honestly can't remember how long it's been—and so I thought this was just one day, but then I read the first few parts, and it actually started with one day and it was long and then it was a day and a morning, and it was very long. This is a long chapter, is my point, I guess.**

**I also don't have a Beta, so any spelling mistakes or anything that I missed is Microsoft Word's fault. :)**

**One more thing, I give a lot of thought to every detail of Bella's career. Her first album—I made sure all the songs were clean and I ordered them the exact way I needed them and I've listened to it to make sure it sounded good, and I designed the CD cover and the back and even her signature. Then I've already figured out the second album, down to the order of songs and cover. I give a lot of thought to these things, and I even designed hers and Alice's dresses for Beyonce's party. **

**So I'm not just winging it when I say something. I'm going to draw the CD covers and the other stuff, or ask my friend to photoshop them and then I'll post them on Twitter or something… **

**Please review. :) **

**BPOV:**

I woke up to that feeling when you know it's Christmas. That happy, warm feeling inside when you know everyone you love is going to celebrate with you. Then I remembered how Mr. Webber had spoken to me last night, and my blood boiled. I tried to relax and looked at my alarm clock. It was eight fifteen, so I stretched and turned off the AC. I looked around my room and saw something slightly out of place. What it was, you ask? Edward sitting in my desk chair, looking directly at me.

"Gah!" I yelled. Then I realized I wasn't sleeping alone anymore. I listened for the sound of Charlie's snores, or any indication I'd woken him or Tony, but none came. "Man, you scared me! What are you doing here?"

"As I've told you before, I like watching you sleep," he said. "It's fascinating to me."

"Um, okay," I said. "Can you go home? I don't really want Tony or Charlie to come and see you here," I said. Truth was, even though Edward's presence always made everything better, I was thinking of ideas for an emotional video for _Forever & Always_, and having him here while I thought wasn't going to help.

"Alright, if that's what you want," he said. He got up and was at the window in a flash, then opened it and climbed out. I heard a thud as he landed on the floor, but it was faint for _my_ ears, and I was waiting for it. Unless another vampire was close by, no one would have heard it.

I sighed and went to the kitchen. I made my breakfast and ate, then took a shower. Today was going to be a cold day. I could tell by the clouds and the wind that it would be cold. I went outside in my shorts and tank top to my balcony, and I instantly felt a chill. Perfect. A real Christmas with Charlie and Edward where I wasn't depressed. I went inside and decided to change.

It was Christmas Eve, and even a casually-dressed girl like I was knew this wasn't a day where you just wore jeans and a T-shirt. I reluctantly turned off the heat in the house and turned on the AC, then put on a red, round neck long sleeve sweater I'd taken on tour for when we went sight-seeing to cold places. It was very Christmas-y, with little beads and cute lace. Now, since I'd become a spectacle for the paparazzi, every picture they took would be criticized, and I tried to look put together in each one, and I'd bought some skirts, girlier clothes, and nicer things, and I picked out a black, short skirt. It was simple and slightly flowy, which complimented the fitted sweater. I put on my strappy, high heeled Mary Janes, much like Sonny's in _Sonny With A Chance_, put on a silver necklace and bracelet and diamond earrings and walked out of my room. My hair was naturally curly from the salty air yesterday and letting it air-dry, and it hung past my shoulders naturally.

I made a breakfast buffet for Charlie and Tony and then woke them up. They both went through the same notions: Grumbled at me for waking them up so early, then smell the bacon and toast, then shoot up and run to the table, then contemplate my formal outfit skeptically, as if hoping I won't expect them to wear something like that. I giggled to myself silently.

Tony and Charlie were alike in some ways. They both had curly hair, they both were definitively not morning people, they were not fans of my relationship with Edward but approved of Alice anyways, and they loved my cooking. Ah, family.

They dug in and both had seconds… and soon thirds… I was just about to tell them I ran out of bacon to make when Tony muttered he was full. I smiled.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yup," he and Charlie said together.

"Well, then go get dressed up." They looked at me. "We're going out tomorrow, but I turned off the heat and the AC on so we can have an authentic Christmas, and since Edward and Alice are staying here alone without their family, I thought maybe they could come over today, and then tomorrow morning."

Charlie, with his understanding and accepting of my decision, nodded a _very_ stiff nod. Tony, however, wasn't so sure.

"Why can't they go home?" he asked.

"Because they want to stay, and I'm taking both to Beyonce's party," I said. "You know, the one I'm also taking both of you to?"

"Oh," Tony said. "Do we have to bring dates?" I knew he was thinking of Alice.

"Alice has a boyfriend, Tony," I said. "And I could take, maximum, four people. If you take a date, you stay behind."

Tony slumped in his seat, already stumped. He knew I knew him too well not to know when he liked a girl.

"What do we have to wear? Sweaters and jeans? Cause I didn't bring any sweaters, but I brought a red jacket," Charlie said.

"Yeah, wear that," I said.

"Well, I brought a green sweater with white snowflakes," Tony provided. I giggled. "What? Mom knit it for me and you know how she gets. Anyway, that with black jeans?"

"Sure," I said. "But do you have anything formal to wear to the party?"

"Um, formal? Like, Prom formal?" I nodded. "Nope."

"Dang, we're gonna have to go out to buy one," I said. "Go get dressed and we'll go with Alice and Edward." Both men nodded and got up, walked to their respective bathrooms and within two minutes, I heard the shower running.

"Oh, boys," I sighed. I went to my room and looked for my cell, then dialed Edward's number. "Hey," I said when he picked up.

"Hey!" Alice's voice chirped. "We're already on our way. I'm wearing red. He's wearing white."

"Um, alright?" I said. She hung up and I was left dumbfounded. I shook it off and started writing in my laptop.

'Ideas for FOREVER & ALWAYS video'  
Pictures of memories…random cute boy  
Restaurant place…sitting bored looking at camera  
Sitting on floor in room next to old-fashioned phone  
….

That was pretty good, right? So far, I'd made progress. I went on Twitter and Tweeted 'Happy Christmas Eve! Made progress on new vid. Happy so faaaaaaar!' I checked the daily gossip, and the only thing about me was that I was taking my boyfriend, my father, my cousin and a friend to Beyonce's party, but that none of them were riding in my limo with me. I ignored that and laughed it off. The doorbell rang and I went to get it. I opened the door and my personal angel stood, smiling at me.

He literally looked like an angel. He was pale and beautiful, and he was wearing a white long sleeve shirt and loose white jeans. His shoes, though worn, were white Chucks, and the finishing touch was the moss-green hoodie he was wearing.

"Hi," I said.

"Hello," he murmured. He kissed my forehead, and I opened the door wider for them to walk in.

Alice walked in and pecked my cheek. She was holding a black purse, and several plastic bags. I didn't know what those were, but I assumed I'd find out soon enough. She was wearing a red V-neck blouse with three-quarter sleeves, and she was removing a cream colored hoodie. Her jeans were so _her_—skin-tight red skinny jeans. She was wearing white stilettos, but for some reason, the outfit looked amazing on her. If I wore it, I'd look like a freak of nature. Alice, however, could pull it off.

"Make yourselves at home," I said. "Tony and Charlie are getting ready. We're going to get something for Tony to wear for tomorrow, and then we're coming back here to do Christmas-y stuff."

Alice turned on the TV to Disney Channel, which, as always, was rerunning every single Christmas episode of every out-dated show, just like every other year. Right now, they were playing one of my least favorites—The _That's So Raven_ special. She was so superficial and her outfits were at times ridiculous. Alice clucked her tongue at Raven's outfit, then turned to me.

"And by Christmas-y stuff you mean…?" she asked.

"Watching movies, drinking hot chocolate, (which, incidentally, you're going to be allergic to), and stuff," I said. Suddenly I realized how pathetic I sounded. It must have shown on my face, because Alice's critical gaze softened. "I just don't want to spend Christmas Eve like we spend every other day. Charlie and Tony watching a game, me writing a song, you asking me questions or doing my hair and Edward watching. I want it to be like a family. And last Christmas was not exactly a very nice one, as I wasn't really myself. And you guys are family."

I sank on the couch and sulked. Alice ran her hand through my hair and Edward's arms were around me. I felt comforted, and the need to write a song. All the pieces and the melody came together, and the words whirled through my mind, metaphors and literal forms.

"Oh!" I gasped. I jumped up and got my guitar in my room. I went back and got a piece of paper and a pen, and sat on the floor. Thankfully, the skirt was long enough so that even when I sat cross-legged, you couldn't see my underwear.

I began strumming, and all other elements were tuned out. I was only vaguely aware that Edward and Alice were watching me closely, and that Tony had walked out of the bathroom and sat down on the table.

The strumming turned into a melody, and I imagined drums and keyboard and other sounds, and then words poured out. I stopped strumming and wrote them down. I had the whole song finished in seven minutes, but I felt like it needed something. It was basically about those moments where Edward and I were getting back together, and the hurt and the confusion, and it didn't feel right the way I ended it.

"Hey, Edward, can you come take a look at this and help me?" I asked. He nodded and sat next to me, reading the lyrics. As he smiled, I blushed.

"I think you should changed _plunged_ to _jumped_…" he observed. "Hm… And _confusin' colors _to _kaleidoscope of colors_…" He sighed. "Those are some amazing lyrics, Bella. There's not much to change."

I smiled at him and quickly crossed out the words to his suggestions. His sounded better than mine, anyway. Then I took a deep breath and played the song. And I was in my element again, vaguely aware Charlie had joined us, sitting with Tony at the table.

_You make me feel  
Out of my element  
Like I'm walking on broken glass  
Like my world's spinning in slow motion  
And you're moving too fast_

_Were you right?  
Was I wrong?  
Were you weak?  
Was I strong?  
Yeah, both of us broken  
Caught in the moment  
We lived and we loved  
And we hurt and we jumped, yeah  
But the planets all aligned  
When you looked into my eyes  
And just like that  
The chemicals react  
The chemicals react_

_You make me feel  
Out of my element  
Like I'm drifting out to the sea  
Like the tide's pulling me in deeper  
Making it harder to breathe_

_We cannot deny  
How we feel inside  
We cannot deny_

_Were you right?  
Was I wrong?  
Were you weak?  
Was I strong?  
Yeah, both of us broken  
Caught in the moment  
We lived and we loved  
And we hurt and we jumped, yeah  
But the planets all aligned  
When you looked into my eyes  
And just like that  
The chemicals react  
The chemicals react_

_Kaleidoscope of colors  
Turning hopes on fire  
Sun is burning  
Shining down on both of us  
Don't let us lose it  
Don't let us lose it_

_Were you right?  
Was I wrong?  
Were you weak?  
Was I strong?  
Yeah, both of us broken  
Caught in the moment  
We lived and we loved  
And we hurt and we jumped  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah  
We lived  
We loved  
We hurt  
We jumped  
We're right  
We're wrong  
We lived to love_

_But the planets all aligned  
When you looked into my eyes  
And just like that  
Watch the chemicals react  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
Watch the chemicals react  
The chemicals react  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
The chemicals react_

I looked up to see them all mesmerized. "What do you think?" I asked.

My normal voice broke through their trances, and Alice was the first to recover.

"I think you have your newest single," she said, smiling.

"Any other comments?" I asked, pleading the men in the room for some feedback.

Charlie blinked and started applauding, though he'd seen me writing songs before. "I think it's an amazing song, Bella," he said. "And even though I guess it's a bit personal, that's how you work, right?"

I nodded and thanked him.

"Uh—I…" Tony was obviously at a loss for words. "Good song. I'll buy it when it comes out." He smiled, and I knew he wasn't just saying that.

Then only the most important opinion was left to be told. "Well?" I asked Edward.

"As I said," he murmured, "they're amazing lyrics, and even better with your voice singing them." I smiled in relief and hugged him close to me, since he was already sitting next to me on the floor.

"You know who they're for," I whispered in his ear. "That means a lot to me."

Charlie cleared his throat and I let go of Edward. I blushed as I stood up and picked up the paper and guitar and stowed them in my room. I grabbed my black purse and put my cell phone, iPod and other important stuff in it and put the paper where all my lyrics were stowed—my lyric box. I texted Mr. Webber to say I already had an idea for the video and a song for the next single, and then just as I was about to put a pin in my hair to make it look more elegant, Tony knocked on the open door of my room.

"Yeah?" I said. "Come in."

He entered and stood next to me. "Bella, is that song about Edward?"

"Most of my songs are," I said. "Is there a problem? It shouldn't matter to you. It's not your business."

"Bella, you seem a bit…defensive over this," he said.

"Well, I love him, and I don't need your criticism on top of everybody else's," I said. "Now let's go get you a suit before my patience runs out."

He smiled, knowing I wasn't going to give him grief for being so nosey, and followed me out. My phone buzzed the text jingle.

_It's not illegal!_ was all it said.

"I'm getting tired of that text, Edward," I called out.

….

After we found the perfect suit for Tony, and I fervently told Charlie not to worry about his, we went back to my apartment. We all somehow fit in my car, but I think that had something to do with Alice, the smallest, being in the backseat between Edward and Tony. Charlie was quiet, as were the rest, and I turned on the radio. Just so happens that every time I changed the station because someone didn't like the song, it was one of my favorites.

I was denied _Can't Be Tamed, Sexy Chick, Telephone, Bad Romance, TiK ToK, _and _You Belong With Me_. We settled for a CD I had in the car, but nobody wanted to listen to Paramore, so I got my iPod.

"Ya know what? My car, my music," I said. "What Michael Jackson song do you prefer? _Beat It _or_ Thriller_?"

There was a mumble of agreement around _Thriller_, and I put that on. After Alice, Tony and I enjoyed it, I realized Edward and Charlie weren't big MJ fans.

"Dad, what songs do you like? I must have something in here you enjoy," I said.

"Likin Park? Muse? Pearl Jam?" he asked rhetorically. "Didn't think so."

I did have Muse and Linkin Park, but Pearl Jam was something I'd never listened to. I stayed silent and played _Supermassive Black Hole_, just to see his shocked face. I was pulling into a red light when the music started. Charlie laughed and Alice, Tony and I started singing along. I felt bad that I didn't have any music to please Edward, but I'd make it up to him…somehow.

After I parked at home, it was already lunch time, and I got out a special turkey I'd made. Edward and Alice excused themselves, saying they had a huge breakfast, but Charlie encouraged them to eat, as it was Christmas. They reluctantly agreed, and I served them smaller amounts, which I knew they'd puke up later.

I put on the radio, where they were now playing Christmas songs. All of them were re-mixes of ones I'd known, but then Taylor Swift's _Christmas Must Be Something More_ played. I sang along to every line, and even considered calling her, but I didn't. The song was deep, and I loved it.

After we were done and everybody had finished cleaning their plates, I made hot chocolate, fully using Edward and Alice's excuse, and we all sat, pressed together on the couch, a quilt over us, as it was quite cold in here. We watched like ten different Christmas movies before dinner, where Edward and Alice again ate small portions. This time it was chicken, and we ate on the couch, watching _The Ultimate Gift_.

I had a small plants I kept outside that I'd put lights on, and as they chose the next movie to watch, I moved it to a corner and started putting the presents around it. Demi's, Taylor's, Alice's, Renee's, Bridgit's, Tony's, Charlie's, and every other present were placed around the little tree, then told the others to do the same. Tony put two, Charlie three, Alice four, and Edward three. The tree looked really crowded, what with so many gifts piled around it.

We watched _The Santa Clause _with Tim Allen, I think, and then the Cullens claimed they had to go home. They said they'd be here bright and early around eight tomorrow, still in their pajamas to make it more authentic, but Charlie, surprising everyone, said no to that.

"Your family's not with you, and you can't just spend Christmas alone," he argued. "Why don't you go to where you're staying and get some clothes for tomorrow and pajamas and everything you need and sleep over? I'm sure Alice can sleep in Bella's room, and Edward in Tony's."

Alice saw this as an opportunity too good to pass up, and she accepted, though I wasn't too thrilled about what Edward might hear in Tony's mind. However, they left and said they'd be back in twenty minutes, and we promised not to set everything up without them. I could tell Charlie was getting tired, and I was, too, but a promise is a promise.

In fifteen minutes, Alice and Edward were back, and we all went to our respective rooms to change into our PJs. Alice changed in a dash, and this time it was long blue Aeropostale sweatpants and a white tank top with a hoodie the same color as the pants. I had planned my PJ combo, too, as I told everyone I'd Tweet Christmas pictures. I was going to wear silky-looking red pants, and a white tank top that had a few lines from _Santa Baby_ inscribed in the front. It was cold, so I threw on a black cardigan, which only added to the cool factor. Alice braided my hair, letting the bangs fall naturally, and yet we were outside before Charlie.

Tony and Edward were wearing similar PJs, yet Edward's looked more casual. Tony's was a Messi Argentina soccer jersey with blue flannel pants. He'd put on a blue hoodie for my cold house. Edward's was a white V-neck T-shirt and red flannel pants, with no jacket. He didn't get cold, but at least he could pretend like Alice had. Alice seemed to think the same thing, for he excused himself and went to his room to get the hoodie. He came back, and it had been about fifteen minutes since Charlie entered his room.

I sighed and went inside, only to find him fully clothed, asleep. I smiled and got my camera, and took a picture. I wasn't going to wake him. We needed family moments, but not if they were torture.

I explained to the others and we got some chocolate chip cookies, milk, and against my better judgment, Coke, and set it at the table next to our little tree. We took some pictures and then, near eleven, everyone went to their respective rooms. I fell asleep instantly, tired as I was, but the last thing I remember is wishing I could understand the soft murmurs from the other room.

….

**EPOV:**

Even in pajamas Bella looks beautiful. Damn, she looks beautiful when she's not trying. She drives me insane at awards shows and events, where she _is_ trying.

After we went through traditional cliché Christmas stuff, Bella and Alice went to Bella's room, and I followed Bella's cousin Tony to his room.

_Why did Charlie have to set me up with him?_ Tony thought. _I don't want to spend any time with a guy who hurt Bella so badly. Hell, after Gina told Bella she looked like a deer I dumped her, but this guy…it's so weird. It's like whatever I say, she doesn't care. Like I was with Melissa, but I guess she wanted Bobby. Oh well, she was good, for when I had her._

He was very conflicted while he got in his bed, and I sadly heard all of it.

_Bella said she doesn't care what I say, because she loves him, _he thought,_ but what if he dies? I can't do it here, now, because she'd know, but what if I ask enough to know where they live and go one day and kill him in his sleep? Man, I'd never do that. The chocolate's taking its effect on you, dude. Go to sleep._

At least I knew he wasn't serious. But I thought Bella should know what kind of person her cousin was. Thankfully, the guy fell asleep before any more psycho thoughts could be heard by me. His dream was worrying for me, though.

_We were standing in a clearing, Tony unaware that I was there. The place was sunny, but strangely, I wasn't sparkling. I mean, since he didn't know, I guess he couldn't make that happen in his dream. Anyway, Tony was dressed in very formal attire—exactly the suit I wore for the Prom I unwillingly took Bella to last year. A girl I recognized immediately stepped into the clearing, but she was about a hundred feet away from us, in the edge of where the trees disappeared._

_The girl looked up as she saw Tony and smiled, something that made me angry. Then her eyes flickered to me, and they turned adoring. I looked down at what I was wearing, and I realized I was wearing the suit for Prom, too._

_Bella, the girl, was wearing a slightly similar to dress to the one to Prom, but this one was more form-fitting, shorter, and it was strapless. Her accessories were silver and her hair hung straight down, and she wore black shoes that must have made her like four feet taller. Her bangs, the one feature I didn't like, hid her eyes from me, but I understood the self-conscious smile on her face._

"_Bella," Tony and I said._

_She looked up and I saw a decision was made in her mind. She started walking towards us, though I wasn't sure who she was walking to._

"_Hey, ready?" he asked._

_She nodded and as soon as she got her, she linked her arm through his and they started dancing. He was very good, but somehow she wasn't stumbling or tripping. I was surprised she could stay upright at all, considering her high heels._

_She looked happy, but then she stepped away from him and walked up to me. _

"_Can I have this dance?" I asked, holding her hand like they did in the old days. She nodded eagerly and we waltzed for a long time, but then storm clouds came and covered the sun, and a lightning bolt struck me. I fell down, my hair burning, and watched as Tony laughed and Bella hit him. She hit him again and again, until there was nothing but black._

_I realized this was Tony waking, and I made sure to keep up my charade._

As he sat up, I stayed down, to keep up my charade. I breathed in and out evenly, his scent burning my throat. He had a less potent scent than Bella's, but it was still stronger than a regular person's. What was it with the Swans and their sweet and potent scents?

He fell into a light slumber, and I tuned him out, trying to concentrate on Alice's visions. Strangely enough, though she was trying to see the outcome of tomorrow, she couldn't. The vision disappeared. She was blind.

This was odd. This was something we'd never encountered before. Alice was frustrated, and I could find reason enough for her to be. I whispered for her not to tell Bella, and she responded with a positive in her mind. Bella would worry too much, and that's not what we needed for Christmas.

….

**BPOV:**

I woke up and saw Alice sitting with her legs crossed, her head between her knees. As soon as I took a breath, she looked up and smiled, though it looked forced.

"Merry Christmas," she said.

"Merry Christmas," I said. I checked my watch. Seven AM, huh? Not bad for Christmas.

I woke the others up and wished them a Merry Christmas, and then we gathered around our little tree.

"Okay, this is how we're gonna do it," I said. "One person grabs all the gifts they have and give them to the person. Tony first."

Tony grabbed a flat box and a smaller, square one and handed the flat one to Charlie. He opened it and pulled out a soccer jersey from the FIFA World Cup—the USA team's. Charlie smiled at Tony and thanked him. Then he handed the smaller box to me.

I hadn't noticed before, but the box was red, and it had a pretty, red bow on it. I took the top off and it revealed a silver necklace. It had a small circle on it, which he read to me as he put it around my neck.

"_Forever here for you, Love, Tony,_" he read.

"Aw, thanks," I said. He smiled and sat down. "Alice, your turn."

She got up lightly and grabbed four packages. She handed one to Charlie, one to Edward, one to me, and kept the other for herself. When we stared at it expectantly, she said: "Can't a person get herself a gift?"

I laughed and opened mine as Charlie and Edward did the same. Charlie took out a digital camera, and Edward took out keys. I was slightly nervous as to how much money Alice had spent on me, and with my fingers shaking, I opened my box.

"Oh, my God," I whispered. It was the poster of my favorite movie ever, _10 Things I Hate About You_, the original, signed by all the main actors. Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger, etc. "Alice, thank you so much!"

"Keys?" Edward asked.

"New car," Alice said. "It's parked outside. I mean, if you're going to stay here, you might as well have a new car to go with it. It's a Volvo S40, in coal black."

"Thanks," Edward said.

"A camera? It's not even in the box…" Charlie muttered. "Thanks."

"It's already charged," Alice supplied. Charlie turned it on and took a picture of Alice and me, smiling. God forbid he now becomes a photographer.

"Ok, Charlie next." He got up and grabbed three packages, and gave one to Tony.

Tony opened it and pulled out a FIFA Messi Argentina shirt, which he proceeded to wear over his outdated jersey. He thanked Charlie and smiled. Then Charlie handed Alice a smaller box. She opened it and pulled out a charm bracelet with hearts and starts and other little things on it. She smiled and thanked him, saying her dress matched it. Then he gave me a long box, which made me nervous as to what was in there. I looked at him and he smiled. I opened it and gasped. It was an electric keyboard, with all the effects and trinkets I used. I thanked him so much.

"Edward?" I asked. He grabbed his three boxes and gave one to Alice. It was a small box and she opened it enthusiastically.

"Keys?" she asked. The key chain had a silver '_A_' with glittery stones on it.

"A canary yellow Porsche 911 Turbo is waiting for you at home, Alice," he said with a smile. "I knew you wanted one." Then his smile turned teasing. "Man, I got you a Porsche, and you got me a cheapie Volvo? That's cold, Ali."

She laughed and playfully hit his arm. Then he gave Charlie his box. Charlie opened it and got a signed Vintage CD from his favorite oldie's band. He smiled at Edward, the opposition to the relationship forgotten for a moment. Then Edward gave me a small box and Charlie's goo-goo eyes left and were replaced by a glare.

I hesitantly opened the box, knowing everyone was watching me. I took off the top and gasped at the beautiful ring inside. It was simple, with just one diamond around the white gold band. Inside there was an inscription—_I love you, forever and always, Bella. Love, Edward._ I put it on the ring finger of my right hand, loving it on my finger.

"Thank you," I whispered. "I love it." I leaned up to kiss his cheek. "I guess I'm next." I suddenly realized as I gathered the presents that I didn't have one for Edward. Oh, crap.

I gave Tony his box and he opened it and pulled out the Rolex watch he'd been wanting for months. He thanked me. I gave Alice her box and she squealed at her present while Edward rolled his eyes. Charlie was very surprised when I handed him a box bigger than any other, and he was even more surprised when he saw what was inside it.

"For tonight," I said. "And anything else you might need it for."

He thanked me and gave me a hug, ogling at the shinny shoes. Then it was Edward's turn, and everyone noticed I didn't have a package in my hands for him.

"It's in my room, sorry," I said. I ran there and looked frantically around for something he hadn't seen or known the existence of that would be an acceptable present. A blanket? No, he didn't sleep. A bracelet? No, he wasn't a girl? Wait, my sheets of all the songs I'd written! Those for him. Yes! Perfect for his present.

I grabbed _The Only Exception, _written in hotel stationary, _Until You're Mine, See You Again, _written on the back of a Spanish essay, _One In A Million_, written on the back of a Lady GaGa poster, _Crazier, Untouchable_, written with Taylor Swift, so it had her beautiful handwriting too, and _Forever & Always_. I ran back to the living room with the assorted papers and handed them to him. He saw what they were, though you could hardly understand thanks to my clumsy scrawl, and smiled.

"What are all those?" Tony asked, pointing at the rest of the presents around our tree.

"Oh, those are for my other friends and my boss and stylist, and Mom," I said. "They're not here, but the next time I see them, I'll give it to them."

"Oh," he said.

"Now let's get ready," I said. "Today we stay here until the party. Alice and I need lots of time, and we should probably be out of the public eye today."

Everyone nodded and I went to the kitchen, Edward following me, contemplating what would be an amazing Christmas.

**Did you like it? Next chapter is the Christmas party. :) Please review and tell me what you thought. And tell me what your plans for Eclipse are… Maybe I can get some ideas. ;) **


	24. Chapter 24

**Okay, firstly, I'm sorry I didn't update in a while—I've been a little busy. First, camp was ending and I was so tired, I literally took a shower, ate, made my bag for the next day, and went to sleep. Then the guy I liked since camp started (so like five weeks ago) became my boyfriend, and I guess I kind of spent more time texting him than writing here. And then (pause for dramatic effect) ECLIPSE CAME OUT.**

**I wanted to share my experience, so if you really don't care, skip over this. **

**Since I knew it was going to be full, I asked my stepmom to get me and my friend tickets the day before. I had camp, so I made a bag full with everything, including face wash, deodorant and my small bangs straightening iron, and my dad put it in his car. We went to a pool, and I asked a plastic bitch for shampoo and conditioner. Then when we were getting to the check in point my friend called me to tell me she would buy a jacket and then get in line. My dad got to the check in point, and so did the other Twi-hard's dad. We shared our stuff and got ready together, and our leader took our pictures. When I called my friend to check if the line was long, (an hour and a half later), she told me she _just_ got in line. However, it wasn't _too_ long. And we finally got in, and missed all the movie trailers trying to get popcorn, but we got awesome seats anyways. We watched the movie—this is a non-spoiler review—and it was AMAZING. Funny, violent, awkward, romantic, and overall, better than anything I expected. So I believe it's worth watching it again.**

**I've watched it twice already, and I'm going to watch it a few more times….**

**I think I made enough excuses for a late update, but mostly, my main setback was that this chapter *SPOILER ALERT* contained a bit of chapters six and seven of Twilight, and I was too lazy to dig in my room for it, and then I found it looking for my hair curler and kept it on my bedside table for days until I started writing again. So mostly because I was lazy and because I was riding home in the car at night and I passed through a park I saw every day. But it looked scary in the dark, and it didn't even have a single lamp post on, and a preface for a story began writing itself in my mind. And then I just started writing and couldn't stop. But I'm not gonna post that story here—I wanna publish it. **

**I DO NOT OWN ANY BRANDS, PEOPLE, SONGS, OR ANYTHING I INCLUDE HERE-INCLUDING CHARACTERS AND STORYLINES. OR THE PARTS I USED FROM TWILIGHT.**

**Anyway, enjoy and review.**

**BPOV:**

Alice and I were just finishing getting ready for the party. The party was at seven thirty, and it was six fifty five. She was finishing straightening my hair, when someone knocked on the door.

"Can I come in?" Edward's voice said.

"Yeah, we're decent," Alice called out. She passed the iron through my long hair one more time, then turned it off.

Edward came in and his eyes stopped on me. He smiled, and I melted. He looked dashing in a dark green suit with the white button up shirt and the black shoes. However, Alice, who was now glossing her lips, dropped the tube. She gasped.

"What is he _doing_ here?" she hissed.

"Who?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Your friend Jacob stopped by to give some Christmas wishes on his way to visit his aunt in Sacramento," Edward said. "He realized now what Alice and I are, and he wants to speak to you."

I looked down at myself. The dress and shoes were already on, as my hair and make up, but I still had to fill my bag and put on my accessories. Ah, this was presentable enough. I was about to get up when Alice hissed something else.

"No wonder I could see nothing! I can't see those dogs! They block me," she said. I sighed and got up. I walked out of my room, warning Edward with my hands to stay in.

I was so confused as I walked to the living room. What had Alice meant about _dogs_? And how could Jacob know about vampires? This knowledge would only get him killed. And I didn't want _another_ human friend's life on the line because he spent time with me.

Jacob was sitting on my couch, and Billy was in his wheel chair next to the dining table. But, _my God_, Jacob had changed.

Gone was the young, lanky boy with long hair and a smile to light up my world. He was wearing a T-shirt and jean shorts, despite the unusual chill, and he was busting out of the T-shirt. He was at least five inches taller than the last time I'd seen him, and back then he'd been taller than Edward. His hair was cropped short, and his face was not the young, carefree face I'd loved—it was a calm mask, as though trying to get complete serenity by displaying it on your face. He looked up at the sound of my heels, and I smiled at him.

"Whoa, Bella, you look great," he said. He got up and I noticed again how tall he was. He hugged me to his chest, and he was _hot_.

"Whoa, Jake, you got a fever or something?" I quickly disentangled myself and stepped back.

"No, this is just how I run these days," he said. "Hey, Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," I said. I waved at Billy and he smiled back.

"I got you something, but first I wanted to talk to you…privately," he said.

"Uh, ok," I said. I lead him to the balcony and closed the doors. It wasn't going to stop Alice or Edward from hearing, but Tony and Charlie didn't have super hearing. "What's up?" I asked.

"Vampires." He glared at me, all friendliness gone. I tried to act horrified and confused, but he knew me too well. "Don't lie to me. You have two bloodsuckers in your house, and Charlie and your cousin don't even know."

"And?" I asked. "They are civilized vampires, and they wouldn't hurt anyone." His anger, though retained, was affecting me, and making me angry, too. It was stupid to admit I knew their secret—a secret Jacob all of a sudden knew about.

"They are still bloodsuckers, and one slip and you lose a family member, Bella, and anyways, what are they doing here?" Jacob said.

"They're family and Edward is my boyfriend, and they have as much right to be here as you, only they were invited," I said harshly. "I'm sorry, that was mean."

"No worries." His expression cleared, and I could see he was honestly worried. "But, Bella, how could you never tell me? If you knew?"

"I wasn't supposed to, Jacob," I said. "I—Why are you here? To tell me I shouldn't socialize with them? To yell at me for something that's out of my control? How did you even know where to come?"

"I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and give you my present," he said quietly, all anger gone. "I called Charlie before he left—."

I cut him off. "Aw, Jake, I didn't get you a present! I'm sorry."

"It's fine." He smiled my favorite smile. He took a small bag from his pocket and opened it. "It comes with an explanation. If you tell me how you know about vampires, I'll tell you how I know about them, too."

"Okay, what do you want me to say?" I sighed. "Almost two years ago, I asked you about the Cullens and you practically told me, and then I asked him about it and he said it was true."

"That's it? I told you about it? Seriously?" he asked, completely incredulous. Then something changed in his face. Anger again. He was angry at himself. For telling me.

"Yep." I popped the 'p'. "Your turn."

"Remember the legends I told you? The ones about the tribe?"

I honestly tried to remember… Something about wolves…

"Um, no, I—Jake that was so long ago, and I don't remember well," I said. "Can't you just tell me?"

"No. Not with Billy here. Not with what Sam told me." He looked sideways to the room, where Billy was watching us avidly. "I'm going to visit my aunt in Sacramento. Can I come back tomorrow and talk to you? Will you please try to remember?"

"Uh, sure, Jacob, I'll try, even though you're basically talking in code now," I said. "Do I get my present?"

"Not until you understand," he said. Then his anger vanished and he smiled. "I gotta go. My aunt gets really irritated and that's _so_ not pretty."

We exited the balcony and bid goodbye to Billy and Jacob as they left, and then I went back to my room. Charlie and Tony were in their rooms, and Alice was finishing painting her toe nails, as she was wearing open-toed heels. I was wearing peep-toe heels, but I already had the black nail polish Alice did.

"You heard what all that was about, right?" I asked Alice and Edward, who was also in the room.

"Yes," Alice said. "You reek like a dog. Put on more of that Vanilla body splash."

"How is that supposed to not be offensive? I just took a shower, Alice," I said.

"Oh, I know," she said.

Regardless, I put on the body splash, as it was my favorite, and then got my camera, lip gloss, mirror, cell phone and other important stuff, and put it in the long clutch purse. I set it down and put on all my accessories, then checked on Tony and Charlie. They were both ready, though Charlie didn't know what perfume to wear, and Tony wasn't sure whether his curls looked good or not. I assured him they looked fine and told Charlie to wear the one Billy gave him and then checked on Alice. She looked amazing in her dress and pearls, and she was ready. Everyone was ready.

"Let's go, then," I said. I grabbed some gum and breath mints, and we left.

…

"Bella, who is this you're with here?" a reporter asked me. We had just arrived at the red carpet of the party, and the whole place was full of people—celebrities and reporters.

"My cousin, my dad, my friend, Alice, and my boyfriend, Edward," I said confidently.

"Oh, and are they spending Christmas with you?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "It's been fun."

"And can you tell me anything upcoming for you in the next year, darling?" he asked, being quite obvious at trying to sneak a peek down Alice's cleavage.

"So far, I've got some singles and videos planned, and a new album and the movie, and just spending time with family and friends, Jim," I said, trying to draw the reporter's attention.

"Well, I hope you enjoy the party," he said. I waved and he walked over to talk to Katy Perry and Russel Brand.

"Bella," Charlie whispered. He grabbed my arm. "I'm not so sure about this…"

"Relax, Dad, it'll be fine," I said. We walked further down, posing with each other, and another reporter approached us. This time, it was one I knew, who was sweet and nice.

"Hey, Bella, I wanted to ask something," she said.

"Hey, Mitchie," I said. "What's up?"

"First, how are you?"

"Oh, I'm great," I said. "I feel amazing." I smiled.

"Good, good. So, who did you bring tonight?" I laughed.

"My dad," I motioned to Charlie, "my cousin," I motioned to Tony, "my fiend Alice," motioned to Alice, "and my boyfriend, Edward," I motioned to Edward.

"So this is a confirmation to all the rumors? You do have a boyfriend?" she asked.

Edward put his arm around my waist delicately, careful not to harm the dress, and kissed my cheek, just to make it more obvious. "Yes," he said.

"Oh, well, good for you, sweetie," Mitchie said. "Also, your movie's coming out in a few months right? Can you tell me what to expect?"

"Well, expect typical teenage hormones, heartbreak, prejudice, music and parental problems," I said. "The movie's driven by the character's emotions, and the story itself, and the only CG used was to make the effect of more rain or more sun, and the narration," I said.

"Well, that's good," she said. "I also wanted to ask if you're going to be releasing any more music soon."

"Yeah, I'm planning to release a single and a video before February, and I have some music on the movie's album, too," I said.

"I can't wait for it, then," she said. "Enjoy the party. I hear Beyonce's one for surprises."

We kept posing for pictures and then we were inside. Tony instantly went to get some Coke for us, and Charlie looked for a table for all of us. Alice automatically started dancing to the loud pop music, leaving me and Edward alone.

This is why I hardly ever went to parties and enjoyed it. I looked up at Edward and begged silently with my eyes for us to go find Charlie and sit, and he agreed. He seemed occupied, though, as he lead me to where my father sat in a table for eight. We sat and automatically someone asked if we wanted something. Charlie asked for a light beer, but Edward and I passed.

"Dad, you know people document these things," I started. "So no more than two beers. I want you sober enough." He grumbled but nodded and I smiled.

I was more relaxed than I'd ever been at a party when Justin Bieber came up to me.

"Hi, you're Bella Swan?" he asked. Ok, cute, but so young. Eh.

"Yeah, I am," I said. "You're Justin Bieber, or is it your evil twin?" He laughed, and smiled.

"Yeah, I am Justin, and I wanted to talk to you," he said. Then he noticed the arm around my waist, and the person I was so close to. "This is your boyfriend?" I nodded. "Cool. Anyway, I wanted to do a duet with you."

Justin Bieber wanted to do a duet with Bella Swan. Holy God, pinch me now.

I mean, I wasn't a huge fan, but I _did_ like his music.

"I'd like that, but let's talk about it some other time, when it's not Christmas," I said. "Now's a time for celebrating." I opened my bag and got out a piece of paper and a pen. "Here's my number—call me when you can and we'll figure something out." He smiled and took the paper, then walked off, probably to talk to some other celebrity.

"Isn't Demi Lovato supposed to be at this party?" Tony's voice came from behind me. He sat next to me and gave me a can of Coke.

"Thanks," I said. I opened it, nearly chipping my nail in the process, and took a sip. "I suppose so, though I think she was coming later."

Then the DJ blasted one of my favorite dance songs and Alice came to get me.

"I know you love this song, and you _so_ are dancing it with me," she said.

_California girls, we're unforgettable  
Daisy dukes, bikini's on top  
Sun-kissed skin so hot  
We'll melt your pop-sickle  
Oh oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh oh  
California girls, we're undeniable  
Fine, fresh, fierce  
We got it unlocked  
West coast represent  
Now put your hands up  
Oh oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh oh_

And I got lost in the music and danced, along with all the other guests and Alice and laughed and sung along. I didn't even care it was probably being caught on camera.

When the song was over, they played _Round and Round_, and I couldn't help dancing either. By the time Alice and I sat down, I was tired.

"Don't tire yourself out, love," Edward whispered in my ear. "Beyonce has a surprise for you, and it won't look good if you're all sweaty."

I looked at him curiously as I drank a sip of ice water. It felt refreshing, though his cold hand on my knee was better.

"It's a surprise, love, I can't tell you," he said with a smile. It was my favorite crooked smile I hadn't seen in so long, and I felt like smiling back.

The music stopped and I heard some high heels moving through the room, then getting on the stage.

"Hello, everyone, welcome to my party," who I could only guess was Beyonce said. "I hope you've enjoyed what's been going on so far… But I have a few special treats. Justin Bieber, Miranda Cosgrove and Bella Swan are all going to perform a song or two, if they like." Justin Bieber got up and the crowd applauded, and he smiled at me. "These are just a few of the hot young performers of Hollywood, and it would be an honor if they graced us with their talent."

Justin ran up to the stage in his suit and sneakers and Beyonce gave him the mic. He whispered something to the DJ and the guy began playing some mixes. It sounded vaguely like _Last Christmas_, with a pop-rap edge.

_Last Christmas  
I gave you my heart  
But the very next day  
You gave it away  
This year  
To save a few tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

And Justin sang the whole song, not forgetting the lyrics once. Then he sang his own _Baby_, and then he ran off the stage.

"This is the surprise for me?" I asked Edward. He nodded and clapped along with everyone else for Justin. I craned my neck for any sign of Miranda Cosgrove, and I finally spotted her getting up, wearing a cute, turquoise dress. She caught my eye as she made her way to the stage and smiled.

She sang _Silent Night,_ and I was surprised by her vocal range. I loved her music, but I never thought her voice was that powerful. Then she sang _Daydream_ and walked off the stage. She tapped my hand as she passed my table, and I suddenly wished I was someone else.

I mean, what if the sound wasn't good, and I ended up embarrassing myself? Or what if I forgot words? What if I fell off the stage and broke my leg?

Edward gave me a little push and I stood up, nervous. I walked on stage and people started cheering. They were _cheering_. Famous people were cheering for _me_. Yeah, that gave me some confidence. I whispered to the guy what I wanted to sing and he got the track, and then I put my hand around the mic, feeling stronger.

I sang _Christmas Must Be Something More_, and then _The Only Exception. _People went crazy clapping, especially Edward, Alice, Tony and Charlie. I grinned and walked off, to the table, and watched as Beyonce walked back on. I was still shaking off those 'I can't believe I did that without falling' nerves, and they came back as soon as Beyonce spoke.

"I invited the most shining stars out of young Hollywood here because I'd like to ask them something," Beyonce announced. "Tonight, on December twenty-fifth of two-thousand-ten, I ask all of you, and some others who couldn't make it tonight, to collaborate with me for a song for the struggling Haiti relief."

Miranda and I stood up, and Justin followed lead. We all walked towards her and shook her hand, accepting. It was for a good cause, and working with Beyonce—who in their right mind would give that up?

"A few other young stars will be joining us," she said. "Nick Jonas, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift, Kellie Pickler, KSM, Ashley Tisdale, Hayley Williams, and Victoria Justice, and a few others I still have to make sure of." I smiled as all my friends were mentioned, plus some singers I loved, like Hayley Williams from Paramore.

We sat down again and the music came back on, and soon, the party was back on track. Some waiters served turkey and pasta, but Alice and Edward passed, while Charlie and Tony dug in enthusiastically. I ate rather slowly, because for some reason, my mind was drifting away. To almost two years ago, the first time I met Jacob Black and he told me stories…

The party sizzled down as the younger and older stars started leaving, and by midnight, only two dozen people, including my family and myself and the hostess were still mingling around. Charlie was sitting at the table, almost asleep. Tony, however, was crazy dancing on the dance floor. Alice was in the bathroom, pretending to check her make up. Edward was watching me avidly as I navigated through every memory, every time I went to La Push.

He helped me escape Lauren's grasps and we walked down the beach…and we sat on a fallen, bone white, sand water bleached tree trunk…and …

"Bella," Edward's voice murmured, shaking my shoulder gently.

"What?" I said. I sat up and realized I'd fallen asleep.

"Time to go," he said. "Alice says if we don't get on Boulevard drive by twenty minutes, we'll be part of an accident."

I stood up and got Tony and Charlie. Alice was already at the door. I found Beyonce saying goodbye to Jessica Alba and her husband, and we walked up to her.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so glad you could make it," she said. She shook my hand and everyone else's, and then said 'Merry Christmas' as we walked out. I stumbled, Edward's arm around my waist, to the car, and I imagined Tony and Charlie were doing the same. Edward drove us home, and when we got there, he and Alice dropped us off and left.

I took off my jewelry and the dress and put on sweats. I took off the heels and turned on the AC, then dropped on the bed. I was so tired I fell asleep almost instantly.

….

The cold against my skin felt good, but I realized soon enough that even though my mattress was comfortable, I'd _never_ been this comfortable in it. I looked around and saw Edward's bright golden eyes watching me.

"Go to sleep, love," he murmured, "you'll need it for what's coming tomorrow."

I obeyed and fell asleep again, rejoicing that Edward was there with me.

…

I woke with a start into Edward's cold arms. There was a screeching sound coming from my closed window. I couldn't see Edward's face in the darkness, but his eyes shone with disgust. I hesitantly went to open the window, stumbling.

"Bella," Jacob's husky voice said. "Hey. Can I come in?"

"Um, it's—." I checked my watch. "It's three twenty-seven in the morning? What are you doing?"

"I wanted to talk to—." He stopped abruptly. "You've got a bloodsucker _in your room_?"

"You stop right there, and turn around, Jacob," Edward said. "She's in no state to answer your questions."

"You don't speak for her!" Jacob yelled. He climbed in and stood next to me.

"What questions? What are you talking about?" I asked, suddenly a little more alert.

"Bella, I need to speak with you, to help you remember, so that you know," Jacob said.

"Oh, knowing that will only put her in more danger, dog," Edward said. "Besides, can't this wait till morning? If it's as fresh in her mind as you think it is, she won't forget, will she?"

"Get the hell out of my head!" Jacob yelled.

"Hey, shush, okay, Tony and Charlie are in the other room," I tried.

"Bella, can I please speak to you someplace where your bloodsucker won't hear?" Jacob asked.

"Edward?" I asked, pleading with my eyes.

Edward surrendered and sighed. "You have twenty minutes. I won't be listening."

He walked across the room and climbed out the window, and once I heard the small impact of Edward's feet against the asphalt, I turned to Jacob.

"What is it that you want to tell me?" I asked him expectantly.

"I can't tell you—You have to remember, because I already told you, Bella," Jacob said. He took a deep breath to calm himself. "Do you remember…the first time we met, when we walked in the beach…do you remember what I told you?"

"The story about…the c-cold ones," I said.

"I guess I understand why that's the only one you'd remember…" Jacob said.

"Jake, come on, I'm really tired and I—come back tomorrow. I swear, I'll try to remember," I said.

"I just need to know we'll be okay if you know…" he said. "I mean, I guess if you're fine with the bloodsuckers, then it'll be okay, but, you know, at least call if you don't want to talk anymore."

"Jacob, whatever's wrong, it's not that bad, is it? Because you're still Jacob, and you're still my friend, and I still love you, no matter what." I smiled at him, though I'm sure my eyes showed worry and confusion.

"Go to sleep, okay?" Jacob said. "And _try _to remember, please."

He climbed out the window and descended down until he reached the ground. Once there, he whispered something in Edward's ear and ran off. Edward whizzed up in two seconds and was hanging on, when he saw my expression.

"Do you want me to stay tonight?" he asked. "I could go with Alice. She's leaving for New Hampshire in a few days and I think with all the shopping she's done, I could help her start packing."

"Yeah, go help Alice," I heard myself say. He whizzed down again and in just a few seconds, my weak human eyes couldn't see him anymore.

I stumbled my way back to my bed and lay down. It was nearly four in the morning, and I was more tired than I had been in a long time. I pulled the covers over my body and fell asleep instantly.

The dream I had was so strong in déjà vu, I nearly woke up.

_I opened my eyes to a familiar place—I recognized the green light of the forest. I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks somewhere nearby. And I knew that if I found the ocean, I'd be able to see the sun. I was trying to follow the sound, but then Jacob was there, tugging on my hand, pulling me back toward the blackest part of the forest. _

_There was something different with this Jacob from the one I'd seen this afternoon. This was the younger, more carefree Jacob. _

_"Jacob? What's wrong?" I asked. His face was frightened as he yanked with all his strength against my resistance; I didn't want to go into the dark. _

_"Run, Bella, you have to run!" he whispered, terrified._

_"This way, Bella!" I recognized Mike's voice calling out of the gloomy heart of the trees, but I couldn't see him._

_"Why?" I asked, pulling against Jacob's grasp, desperate now to find the sun. _

_But Jacob let go of my hand and yelped, suddenly shaking, falling to the dim forest floor. He twitched on the ground as I watched in horror._

_"Jacob!" I screamed. But he was gone. In his place was a large red-brown wolf with black eyes. The wolf faced away from me, pointing toward the shore, the hair on the back of his shoulders bristling, low growls issuing from between his exposed fangs._

_"Bella, run!" Mike cried again from behind me. But I didn't turn. I was watching a light coming toward me from the beach._

_And then Edward stepped out from the trees, his skin faintly glowing, his eyes black and dangerous. He held up one hand and beckoned me to come to him. The wolf growled at my feet._

_I took a step forward, toward Edward. He smiled then, and his teeth were sharp, pointed._

_"Trust me," he purred._

_I took another step._

_The wolf launched himself across the space between me and the vampire, fangs aiming for the jugular._

_"No!" I heard myself yell, still in the dream. I knew exactly when I'd had this dream, and the sense of déjà vu was so strong... _

_I tried to stay in the dream, even though I knew very well it ended here. I tried to stay asleep, and suddenly, I wasn't in the forest, frozen in the moment when the wolf launched himself at the vampire. I was in the beach, walking. Or rather, seeing myself walk with Jacob. It was as if seeing it from a third person's point of view, and I edged closer, trying to hear. Jacob and I sat on a fallen bleached tree trunk and he began speaking. Words and sentences whirled around in my head as I watched his younger mouth move. _

_"Do you know any of our old stories, about where we came from—the Quileutes, I mean? … Another legend claims that we descended from wolves—and that the wolves are our brothers still. … Then there are the stories about the _cold ones_. … The cold ones are the natural enemy of the wolf—well, not the wolf, really, but the men that turn into wolves. You would call them werewolves. …"_

And I shot up in my bed, knowing Jacob's secret.

Now all of Alice's and Edward's comments about dogs made sense. But this dream was so ridiculous, yet so ridiculously real. So Edward really was a vampire, and yet even in my dream I foretold Jacob was a wolf.

I was so confused, though. Could it be that _nothing_ was made up? Could all the stories about monsters and fairies be real? Maybe when I went to a CD signing I'd meet a troll who was a fan. And next an Oompa Loompa.

I realized it was too light in my room for it to still be night. I looked at my watch and groaned. Eight fifty in the morning. I got up and stretched, then turned off the AC. I walked out of my room and found something slightly unusual in the living room. Charlie was drinking coffee while watching a baseball game. Tony was on FaceBook in his laptop, using the Wi-Fi I'd gotten installed for my apartment.

"Morning," I said with a yawn.

"Morning," both of them mumbled.

I sighed and made some toast as breakfast. I ate it and got my phone. Already, I had two missed calls along with voice mails, five text messages, and three Tweets. A missed call from Edward and another from a number I didn't recognize, three texts from the number I didn't recognize, and one from another number, and one from Alice. One Tweet was from Justin Bieber's account, and the other was from Demi.

I listened to Edward's voice mail.

"_Bella, it's Edward. Just call me soon. I want to speak with you before you speak with Jacob." _The message cut off.

Eh, I wasn't going to tell Jacob to come over till I was presentable, and with my hair looking like a bird's nest was not my definition of presentable.

I listened to the other voice mail.

_"Bella Swan? I hope this is your number… Uh, just wanted to say it's Justin Bieber calling. Sorry if it's too early. I wanted to talk about doing a duet. Please call or text me soon. Bye."_

Justin Bieber calling me? What Christmas list was Santa checking off for me? A thirteen-year-old's?

I checked the text messages as I turned the heater for the hot water on.

_"Bella? Please call me back soon." _From Justin Bieber.

"_How about we have dinner and discuss it more freely instead of over the phone, eh?" _From Justin Bieber.

_"Heeeellooooooo? Please call me soon."_ From Justin Bieber.

_"Bella, it's Jacob. I got a phone cuz I'm staying in LA for a month. Please call me soon so I can come over. I wanna talk to ya."_ From who I could only guess was Jacob.

"_BELLA! ALL I SEE IS BLACK AND BLACK FOR YOU TODAY! TELL ME WHY!_" From Alice.

I sighed and checked the Tweets.

-bellabooboto when can we meet up? I'm dying to talk to you! :) –From -ddlovato.

And -bellabooboto answer me….. –From -justinbieber.

I Tweeted: '-ddlovato just call me! :p'

I took a shower and changed into jeans and a Paramore T-shirt. It looked as if I was gonna spend the day at home, and I dressed casually for days like these.

I sighed and got my phone again. I decided Edward could wait a little, and called Justin.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hi, it's Bella, Bella Swan," I said.

"Oh, hey, sorry about so much stuff, I just got really anxious," he said. "So, what do you think?"

"I think it'd be cool, but we can't just do a cover of something," I said. "How about we both write the lyrics together and work it out, and have it out before March?"

"That sounds great," he said. "How about we meet up at somebody's place and write the lyrics there?"

"Come over to my place, any time next week," I said. "This week my Dad and my cousin are staying with me, and I think they'd feel left out. But call me first, okay?"

"Sure," he said. "Later." He hung up. I saved his number in my contacts and called Alice.

"Bella, why haven't you called me? Do you realize I can't see those dogs, and I can't see if you'll even be alive after you talk to him?" she screeched as soon as she picked up. "Do you know how frustrating that is?"

"I'm sorry, Alice, but he's my friend, and I deserve to talk to him," I said. "Where's Edward?"

"Right here," he said.

"Alice, was I on speaker!" I said.

"Yeah, she thinks that since she'd hear it in her mind and I'd read it, it wouldn't really be private, and I could hear it anyways, so what's really the point?" he explained.

"Fine," I said. "Whatever. Tell me what you needed to say, cause after this I'm cleaning my room and calling Jacob."

"Just that you need to be careful what you say when you're with him," he said. "Werewolves are very temperamental and unstable, and you say one wrong word and you could die. And I don't want you hurt."

"Okay, Edward, thanks," I said. "Goodbye, I love you."

"Love you, too," he said. I hung up and looked around my room. It wasn't that messy, but there was some work to be done. I started working, and within twenty minutes, everything was back in its place, and what had a never had found one.

Suddenly, I felt nervous. I knew what I had to do.

Time to call Jacob.

**Okay, definitively not my best piece of work, I think. I used like three pages out of Twilight, and I think some of New Moon. The dream sequence, and then what Jacob says. The rest, however, baby is MINE. Hehe. **

**Seriously, sorry for the LATE update, please review and I hope I can update soon, because I cannot wait to write the next chapter.**


	25. Chapter 25

**I realize when I need another source for dialogue, I take longer than usual to update. That still is no excuse. And if anyone is reading my Percy Jackson story, I am writing the next chapter. And also, anyone who has a FaceBook account, I made the Bella here a FaceBook page. It's literally a page named 'Bella Swan (from the Bottom of the Ocean FF story)'. Please 'like' it, cause it means a lot to me. I know it sounds really vain and stupid, but it's just for the fun of it. **

**BPOV:**

_Time to call Jacob._

I got my phone and looked in my contacts for Jacob, then hesitantly called. He answered within two seconds.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Jacob," I said. "Um, can you come over? I want to talk."

"Okay, I'm on my way as we speak," he said. He hung up and suddenly I got nervous. Not 'Oh, what if I trip and fall on stage' nervous. More like 'Oh what if I say something wrong and lose a friend' nervous.

I started pacing, thinking of things I could say. Jacob didn't give me much time to think. Soon enough Charlie was practically pounding on my door. I opened it quickly and he looked at my worried expression.

"Jacob's here," he said. "Says he wants to talk to you. He looks as worried as you do."

"Um, tell him to come in here," I said. Charlie disappeared from my view and in came Jacob.

He was wearing cut-off jeans and a black T-shirt, and his face was calm. I wish _I _was.

"Jake, I—," he didn't let me finish.

"Close the door," he said. I obliged and he started pacing. "So you figured it out?"

"I think so," I said. I gulped. "I want to talk to you." My voice shook.

He suddenly turned hostile and cold. He wasn't my Jacob anymore, the one who's smile shined like the sun. There was darkness in him now—like my sun had imploded.

"Go ahead," he hissed. His glare was vicious. I'd never seen him look at anyone like that, least of all me. It hurt. Then he tried to calm himself. He took a deep breath and sighed. "I knew you could figure it out."

"Yeah, I remember the story now," I whispered. His mood swings had me confused, and I was afraid one bad move would bring out more anger and hostility.

It was silent for a long moment, and I was looking down at the purple carpet by my feet, but I could feel Jacob's eyes searching my face—or trying. There must have been something he saw, because when he spoke again, his voice was acidic.

"You could have just called," he said harshly.

I nodded. "I know."

Jacob started pacing. "Why did you come?" he demanded, not stopping his angered pacing.

"I thought it would be better face-to-face," I said timidly.

"Oh, yeah, so much better, with you looking at the floor," he snorted.

I laughed nervously and looked up at him, brushing my bangs away so he could see my entire face. "Happy?"

"Little better, I guess," he said. "But why do you look so scared?" He paused and looked at my face again. "You know what, you're such a hypocrite. What, I'm not the right kind of monster for you?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You know it makes me so mad I could just spit," he said. "There you are, _terrified_ of me, and yet it's okay to have a bloodsucker at your arm. How is that fair?"

"What?" I held up a finger in a motion for him to give me a second.

He thought I was scared of him, when really, my mind was just on a break down because of all the confusion and stress brought by magical creatures in my life. This wasn't good, but it was better than bad.

"You think I'm scared of you because you're a werewolf?" I clarified.

"For normal girls it would be reason enough," he said. "But, yeah."

I smiled a tiny smile.

"So it _doesn't _scare you that I morph into a giant dog?" he asked. "You really, honestly don't mind?"

"No," I said. He hugged me so hard it was almost bone-crushing. "Can't…..breathe….." He let go of me instantly.

"But then, why did you look so scared?" he asked.

"My mind's finally cracking," I answered. "I'm surprised I can even think at all. With all the stress my work has me in, keeping Edward's secret, and now yours… I mean, is nothing unreal anymore? What about the sane, safe world humans are supposed to live in? Is everything real? At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Taylor Swift actually was a fairy in disguise, or Miley Cyrus a troll in costume."

"I guess you don't like MC," he joked. "But seriously, what stress do you have?"

"Let's see, everyone spreads rumors about me, and as you get more and more popular, they get more frequent and worse. Then there's the movie coming out in March and all the travelling and shows and promotion I have to do for it. And my boss wants me to have a single and a new video out before the movie comes out, and I still have to figure all if that out. And, on top of that, I have a werewolf and a vampire running in and out of my house with my oblivious father and cousin. Wouldn't that be _enough_ to give you a headache, Jake?" I finished.

"My God, I just thought you sang a song, looked pretty, talked on shows and that was it," he joked. "I guess it _is_ harder than college."

"Jake," I said. "Why are you going to be in L.A. for a month? Yeah, to totally change the subject."

"Well, Sam, he's the pack leader, told me that while I was here, to check the bloodsucker area, and there are some trails and scents that aren't from the Cullens, so he told me to stay longer and check it out, and my aunt let me stay, and Billy will get along without me," he said easily. "It's only a moth, anyways."

"But we have to spend more time together," I argued. "I hadn't seen you since we shot the first video, and that was almost a year ago."

"Well, you hardly ever come by Forks anymore, and I don't exactly have the money to visit you all the time like your bloodsuckers do, do I?" he said.

"Be nice," I warned lightly.

"Come on, spill," he said, "it has to get boring spending all your time with the same bloodsuckers. The tiny chick and your boyfriend are old, and it must get boring talking to them."

"It doesn't," I said defensively. "But sometimes I'd like a change, and talking to you is fun, too." I smiled.

"Then it's settled—I'm in L.A. to keep you from boredom and check out the leech trails," he said. "Speaking of which, I should go check this out. It smells like two we've had in Forks, but I haven't smelled it in so long I can't be sure." He started towards the door and looked at me.

"It was nice talking to you, Bells," he said. "I think it's finally going to get easier with you knowing."

"Okay," I said. "Go, check the vampire out. You're welcome to come over for dinner."

He smiled my smile. "What are you making?"

"Domino's Pizza delivery," I teased. He laughed.

"I gotta go," he sighed. "See you later." He left.

I felt as if something heavy and bulky had been removed from my shoulders. It felt nice to know Jacob and I would be okay. I sat on my bed and looked around my room. I picked up my sketch book and started drawing what could be scenes for the _Forever & Always _music video, and I ended up with a pretty storyline. I'm looking at pictures of me with a boy sitting at a desk in a room, couple-y pictures, and mouthing the words, then I'm at a restaurant, looking bored as I see all the couples holding hands and stuff while I'm alone, and then I'm sitting on the floor next to an old-fashioned phone, and a cell phone, flipping it open every few seconds, checking for missed calls.

I liked the idea for the video, and I called my usual video director, Tracy, and she said she could schedule a three-day shoot in two weeks. I told her I'd call Mr. Webber and ask if those days worked and if he could come over to help. He said he could and called her, and she told me to pick out a boy and leave the rest to them—Mr. Webber was coming January second to start helping her.

….

It was two in the afternoon when Tony came into my room.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "I just needed some time to think." I looked up at his frown. "Why? What's up?"

"I don't know how to tell you," he said. "But Charlie and I got hungry and we ordered pizza, on me."

"Did you save any for me?" I asked eagerly. My stomach had been rumbling for the past half hour.

"Five slices," he said with a grin. "Come on." He took my hand and pulled me up with him, and my phone beeped the text jingle. I quickly got it and opened the text.

_It's not illegal!—E _

I quickly texted an angry reply.

_Wherever you are, go away. If you want to talk to me or see me, you can simply come over.—B_

I got a reply as Tony got me three slices heated.

_You were with the dog, and anyways since you have dinner plans I guess I'll see you some other time.—E_

I gave up texting and dialed his number.

"Hello?" he said.

"Edward, seriously, come here in like half an hour," I said.

"Okay, fine," he said. He hung up as the pizza was placed on my plate.

…

I was in my room and Edward came in. Charlie must have been thinking something odd, because Edward's lips were a grin as he closed the door behind him.

"Bella, you can't be around werewolves," he stated, suddenly serious.

"Why not?" I asked. "Jacob's my friend, and if I want to see him, then I will. You can't control who I spend time with, Edward."

"I can do my best to try," he muttered. "Bella, werewolves are dangerous and unstable. People around them get hurt if they lose control. I can't let you be around that. I can't willingly let you be in such danger."

"Jacob's not going to hurt me," I said firmly. "And you _can't_ control me. You can't control who I see, what I do, or where I go."

"Bella, I'm just worrying for your safety," he said.

"And I'll be completely safe with Jacob." I glared at him.

"But—it's not safe, Bella, you have to trust me on that," he said.

"You have to trust _me_, and I trust Jacob," I said.

He started pacing around the room, frowning and looking at the floor.

"Bella, I just _can't_ trust a werewolf—it goes against everything I know," he said.

"It also goes against everything you know to stand next to me and not kill me, but you do it anyways," I said. "You have to understand you can't control me, or who I spend my time with, or anything about me. It's a free country and I am legally an adult. So if you can't watch me spend with my friend Jacob, then go do something else."

"You're mad at me out because I care about your safety?" he asked, his tone one of complete disbelief.

"From my point of view, it doesn't look like you care about my safety," I said. "It looks like you only want me for yourself. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but I want to spend time with some of my other friends. And that includes Jacob."

"I'm sorry, then," he said. He walked over to the window, pulled his hoodie up and climbed out. I guess it could have been called storming out since he tore the window open and nearly cracked the wood.

I was so angry at him that I wasn't nearly as sad as I should have been over him storming out. I slammed the window shut hard and sat on my bed, my arms crossed on my chest. I had learned to control my anger thanks to all the bad press I got sometimes, and every time I got ticked off and had to swallow it down was coming to the surface. It was so close to the boiling point anything would set me off.

"Bella, are you alright?" Charlie asked, poking his head in.

"Aaah!" I grabbed the closest thing I could find—a small and lumpy pillow—and threw it in his direction. He closed the door before the pillow could hit him and it thumped on the door then fell to the floor. "Aaah!" I cried in frustration.

I couldn't call anyone and tell them my vampire boyfriend who I hadn't seen in over a year doesn't want me to hang out with my werewolf friend, because whoever heard that would have me committed.

My phone rang. I got it and looked at the caller ID. _Logan Lerman_.

"Hey, Logan," I said. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to a friend," he said. "So, you know the press tour for the movie stars in two weeks right?"

"P—press tour?" I asked. "No, I can't, I'm shooting a video. It's like a three day shoot."

"Aw, come on, we don't have to talk this out now," he said. "And, anyway, if you remembered, I told you, like a month ago to clear your schedule cause of the damn press tour for the movie."

"Yeah, well, a month ago my boss didn't think I was slacking and wasn't telling me that before the movie came out, I had to have a new single and video out," I retorted. "And besides, as I'm not a regular actor, I don't have as great a memory as you. What my cousin told me yesterday I can't remember."

"Nice," he laughed. "You sound stressed. Is something else wrong? Because during shooting you also had to avoid screaming fans and had to do CD signings."

"Actually…" I thought. I could just tell him in a simpler way. "My boyfriend is being…difficult."

"Is this something I want to hear, Bella?" he asked.

"It's nothing, bad, I guess," I said. "It's just that an old friend from home stopped by, and he's fun and great, but he's kind of… well, Edward calls him dangerous. And he doesn't want me to be around Jake."

"Oh," was all he said. He was quiet for a moment. Then he sighed. "Bella, I'm guessing your boyfriend loves you, am I correct?"

"Yep," I said.

"Well, as you said he thinks your friend Jake is dangerous, and he cares about you, then it kind of makes sense for him to not want you to hang out with him," Logan said. "Try to see it from his point of view—what if the guy hurts you or something? He let you hand out with the guy, so he'd think it's his fault, no matter how indirectly."

And now I got it. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Okay, but I know I can trust Jake," I said. "I've hung out with him before, and he's not so bad." But I hadn't hung out with him after the change, and that was probably the most important factor.

"Do what you like, Bella," Logan said. "But seriously, you seem really high strung and stressed out. How about we catch a movie or something? I heard that new vampire one was playing."

"No, no vampires, please," I said reflexively.

"Okay, there's a new animated comedy out," he suggested.

"Fine, but _as friends_, and I have to be home by seven," I said.

"Yes, ma'am," he said. I laughed. "I'll get the tickets and pick you up in around half an hour, ok?"

"Sure, see ya," I said. I hung up.

I changed from my normal clothes to a cute purple blouse, skinny jeans and Converse, and took the oversized hoodie I used to go out in public when I didn't want to be seen. I brushed my hair—it looked fine—and made a bag, and by the time I was done, I told Tony and Charlie where I was going and that I'd be back by seven, and got a text from Logan saying he was downstairs.

…

"Okay, pull the hoodie up _before_ you get out of the car, Logan," I hissed.

We were in his car, parked inside the Cinema parking lot, and there were paparazzi vans all over the damn place. The only way to get to the movie was to pull up the hoodies and hope to go unnoticed. Yet Logan was being an idiot.

"Just pull the damn hoodie up and walk out," I hissed again.

"What if they notice? I mean, we could go somewhere else," he tried.

"I am fixated in watching this damn movie, and I _will_," I said. "Just do it. If we get spotted, what? Just two friends going to the movies together."

"But—but—_fine_," he said. He pulled his hoodie up and put his shades on and turned off the car. I pulled the hood up and put on my Ray Bans and walked out. We walked towards the doors and didn't hear a thing, so I think we got away.

We quickly bought the tickets for _Little Fockers_, popcorn and sodas and scurried into the movie theater. We sat on the very last seats, farthest away from the entrance, which probably wasn't a good idea in case we got spotted. We sat and watched the trailers, and I blushed as the 'Kisses and Lies' trailer from 'It's a Once In a Lifetime Thing' played. It was the first official trailer released, and they played it everywhere. I personally liked it, just not the fact it was me kissing the guy who was currently sitting next to me.

Finally the lights dimmed and the movie began. The theater was full, but with our normal-looking clothes I doubted anyone would look at us. I pulled my hoodie off and took off my shades and watched the movie. About half an hour into the movie, the girl next to me, who looked around fourteen, got up and looked around, then walked out of the theater. I saw her eyes widen when she saw me, so I pulled up my hoodie.

She came back with popcorn in her hands, and sat. She stared at my face until I looked at her. She gasped and opened her mouth, I covered her mouth with my hand.

"Please don't," I whispered. She nodded. I let go of her and turned back to the screen, looking at Ben Stiller's grinning face as he made yet another joke. Then all hell broke loose—for me at least.

"BELLA SWAN!" the girl screamed. And then all the heads turned toward her shrill voice. I probably shouldn't have sat all the way up here. Suddenly the girl next to Logan realized who was sitting next to her. "LOGAN LERMAN!"

And then everyone forgot about the movie and was running over to us.

"Follow my lead," he whispered. He stood up and started jumping over the empty seats.

"I'm not coordinated enough for that!" I yelled. He waved it off and motioned for me to follow him. I hesitantly climbed quickly jumped to the floor, then did it again and again and again faster, hoping not to fall and break something.

Finally we made it out of the theater and ran into the car, and we tried to avoid hitting any cars or fans on our way out.

"Okay, next time, mission is to _avoid_ getting seen by psycho fan girls!" I said breathlessly after we were on the highway. "This is sure to be on the gossip sites. We didn't even sign autographs."

"Whatever," he said, breathless too. "At least we got away." He turned on the radio and a new Lady GaGa song was on. After it finished he looked at me. "What do you want to do now?"

"It's like five thirty so can we just go to a mall or something? I want to get Jake a late Christmas present," I said. He took the next exit and we rode in silence, listening to the Ke$ha song on. He parked and we headed for the department store. I ended up buying him a video game, because I didn't know much about him. It was a cool video game, though, so I hoped he liked it.

"You still got an hour to get home so why don't we get ice cream and then I take you home?" he asked. "Since this sucked so badly."

"It didn't suck," I said. "And it wasn't your fault. But sure, I'd love some ice cream." I smiled. We took off for the Baskin Robins and ordered. He had a vanilla cone and I had a mint chocolate chip cone. The place had free Wi-Fi and I checked the GossipChickOnline site.

**BELLA SWAN CHEATING ON TWO GUYS WITH ANOTHER GUY—NEWEST STORY NOW  
It was reported very recently that Bella Swan had been reunited with her old boyfriend. She confirmed it on the red carpet last night at Beyonce's party. He was even there with her. However, before the party, she was seen having a very heated-looking conversation on her balcony with another boy _before_ the party. This is the first time we've seen him since Bella hit the big time. However, some pictures are surfacing from her first video which was shot in her hometown and the rez near it, and there are many, many pictures of her and the new boy talking and hanging out.  
Then tonight she went on a date with Logan Lerman, who has been asking her out since he met her on the set of her movie. So I'm guessing this girl is a huge heartbreaker. She has a boyfriend, she has a boy she's cheating on him with, and she's got a boy she is cheating on BOTH of them with. She is reported to be friends with Logan, but apparently, she gave him a romantic chance—while she's with another guy. We'll keep you posted on this man-eater.  
-GossipChickOnline**

"That site!" I gasped. "I hate it so much! Look at what they said about me." I showed him the article. Once he read it through he looked at me.

"I told you they wouldn't simply think of it as two friends catching a movie together," he said.

"No you didn't," I said. "You never told me that."

"I told you in my mind," he said. "Anyway, this is just one site. But soon it'll be all over the web."

"You know, I think I should just make an official page just to get rid of these stupid rumors," I commented, trying to humor him so he wouldn't be angry.

"Come on, let's get you home," he sighed. We threw away our trash and went to his car. We thankfully avoided the paparazzi all the way to my home, and it wasn't even seven when I walked in the door.

"Hey, Bells, did you have fun at the movies?" Charlie asked as soon as I went inside.

"Not really," I said dryly. "About forty minutes into the movie a girl screamed my name and we were mobbed and ran off. I almost broke my leg jumping off the seats. Then we went to the mall and got ice cream. And then he drove me home."

"Well, that seems like the usual thing you see on Hannah Montana Forever," Tony said casually.

"You watch that?" I asked incredulously.

"You watch JONAS L.A.," he retorted.

"Touché," I said. "Lemme call the pizza place." I ordered as much pizza as I did after a concert on tour, and right after the pizza arrived, Jacob did too.

He ate more than Charlie and Tony combined, and that's saying a lot, considering Domino's Pizza is their absolute favorite. When they were done, Charlie turned on a football game and he and Tony were entranced. Jacob, however, walked over to me as I did the dishes.

"I saw an article on the Internet today…my face was splashed on the site…I looked kinda scary…I'm sorry," he said.

"_You're_ sorry? Why are _you_ sorry? If anyone should be sorry it's me, for not being careful," I said, scrubbing a dish clean. "I know the paparazzi are going to be everywhere, taking pictures of everything I do. I should have been more careful."

"Bella, this will blow over soon," he said. "Once Miley Cyrus does something skanky again you'll be out of the tabloids. And since she's performing on the Rockin' New Year's thing, you can bet she's going to try something."

I actually laughed. "Nice," I said.

We talked a bit more till he said he had to go. We said goodbye and he left, and I went to get ready for bed. I was completely ready, called Angela and squealed over her presents—tickets to a Ke$ha concert she was dying to see—and then I turned off my light.

Of course, there was a tap on my window. Edward opened it and walked in.

"We need to talk," he said firmly.

My heart fell. He probably saw the article and didn't want to get mixed up in it, so he was just calling it quits. He was breaking up with me so as not to suffer being scrutinized by the damn paparazzi.

"You're gonna break up with me," I said mechanically. "Just man up and do it, Edward. I can take it."

"Why do you think I'm going to leave you?" he asked.

"You just quoted the most clichéd break-up line!" I said.

"Okay, that _may_ be true, but that's not the kind of talking I meant," he said. I breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry about before."

"What _about_ before?" I asked.

"You were right," he started. "I _can't_ control you. I can't control who you spend your time with, where you spend it, or when you are with me or someone else. And I was completely wrong for thinking I could try and stop you from doing what you want. I was a complete and utter fool. And I am sorry."

"So you're not mad because I spent some time with Jacob?" I asked.

"I was worried, because Alice can't see past the wolves, and she couldn't see whether you'd come out alive or not, and I was worried about your safety, but I can't be angry at something that brings you happiness," he said. "It's like being angry at the sun—it makes you happy, so I can't hate it."

"So it's fine if he comes over tomorrow night to watch a movie or something?" I asked.

"If that makes you happy then it's okay, love," he said.

"Thanks," I said. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Why the sudden change of heart, though?"

"I didn't want it to drive a wedge between us," he answered, kissing my hair. "And because I know you're so stubborn you would tell him to come over anyways." He laughed softly.

"Thanks," I said.

"So, we're good?" he asked.

"Yeah, we are," I said.

I went to my bed and he laid down next to, just like we used to do in Forks. And I fell into a blissful sleep as Edward hummed the lullaby I'd longed to hear for so many months.

**I realize this chapter is exceptionally short, compared to the last one. Two thousand less words. I feel bad. But I know that since this started out as a New Moon spin-off, Eclipse somehow had to come into the mix. Please remember to follow me on Twitter adriswifty13, Bella's Twitter account bellabooboto and to 'Like' the FaceBook page 'Bella Swan (from Bottom of the Ocean FF story)'. The profile picture is a picture of me, since I imagine Bella here to be like myself, and I hope you 'Like' her page. Thanks, bye.**

**Oh, and please review.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Sorry that I have not updated in such a long time. School started *ninth grader* and I haven't had much time. I'm reading Frankenstein this year for Literature and I should be reading right now, but I stay up until 4 AM in the morning to write for you guys. I had hoped this chapter—in the video storyline—would be longer, but I brought in a new element, so it's justified. **

**Also, I've been caught up reading other fanfics. Right now, I'm reading 'An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy' by m81170. I love it. Especially because I'm that age and I can understand how Bella feels. Mostly, she's quite overdramatic, but it's fun to read nonetheless.**

**And Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam came out, which is why it's mentioned here. I saw it twice and so far, my favorite songs are: Introducing Me, Fire, Tear It Down and Heart & Soul. **

**And there's a_ Back to the Future_ reference, too, because it's one of my favorites. :D **

**Enough of my babbling. Sorry to keep you waiting so long. Enjoy and please review.**

**BPOV:**

Video shoot day one.

Yeah, the rest of my holidays were quite the same. The day before New Year's Charlie left for Forks to spend it with his friends, and Tony left to go spend it with his mom. So it was Jacob, Edward, Alice and Bella in the house, and after one dramatic and slightly stupid scene in my kitchen, all three agreed they could come and go as they pleased as long as one of the vampires wasn't there if Jacob was and vice versa and that I was okay with it.

But Jacob was hardly ever at my place. He was tracking what was apparently a vampire—here in L.A., which I found odd. The only vampires who would come to such a sunny place were Edward and Alice, and even _I _couldn't figure out why. Most of you are saying 'Because they love you' in the back of your minds, but I don't know. Anyway, two weeks after the holidays, Mr. Webber came in with the director and we started talking about ideas, wardrobe, sets and boys, and in the end, we got the best video. So we got all the stuff and as the press tour started in a week, we started filming, pronto.

Thing was, I had gotten 'so popular' with teens that MTV decided to interview me on-set and ask for permission to be the ones who air the video for the first time. My manager, publicist and Mr. Webber talked it out, and apparently now while on-set, I was going to be interviewed, too. From when I got to the set to when we wrapped.

I was getting my hair perfectly straight yet messed up with my bangs all nice, wearing my black, loose-fitting T-shirt and gray skinny jeans, sitting on the make up chair when a guy with a camera approached me.

"We need to start filming, k? We got you out of the car and now ….. just talk," he said. He turned the camera on and started recording.

"The song _Forever & Always _is about…you know, you're with this person and out of nowhere they just start drifting away and you can't do anything about it—you can only sit back and watch. This is one of the most personal songs on the album, and it has four sides to it. With the collaboration with Taylor Swift, it shows the angry and confused sides, but with this one, it just shows the sad and hurt sides, and I think that's a really big part of the video. Because, you know, I think if we were doing the other version it'd be a totally different video than this one because that song doesn't have such sadness to it and …..uh, it's hard to explain."

Just then the guy working with my hair finished and tapped me on the shoulder, saying I could go to my trailer and rest and prepare for a while. The MTV camera guy followed me as I walked to my trailer thing and sat down.

"Tell us about the idea for this video," he said, turning the camera on.

"The idea for this video…I don't know. It came to me, but since it was about a boy I was _with_, and he was visiting me, it hurt because I had to think about that time when we were drifting apart, and with him there—you know, it hurt. And so, basically, I had to kick him out, and that was like, really hard for me at the moment, because I had just gotten him back. But I got the general idea for the video sitting on my bed, and then when I told my friend Alice about it she was like 'Are you sure you didn't just watch the _White Horse_ video and changed it a little bit?' so I had a mini freak out moment and looked it up and it was a lot like Taylor's video.

"So we took out a restaurant scene and some cute couple scenes and changed it a bit, with Alice there... See, Alice is one of my best friends, and she has a knack for knowing how things will turn out." I laughed a little at the inside joke. "So I wanted her there, kind of as a helper. And I came up with the cheating concept. So, basically, half of the video, you see me in a dark bedroom, holding a flip phone, like checking for missed calls or waiting for a call, sitting next to a dark drawer, and the other half is me sitting on the bed in the room, wearing, like, formal date clothes, waiting for the guy to come and take me to a date, or something, and, you know, I'm frustrated that he's not here yet and I absently kind of just look out the window, and under a pool of light from a streetlamp I see him kissing another girl.

"And, you know, I'm wearing this cute, green short dress that is actually a new addition to the Macy's Prom collection, waiting, and my make up's all pretty and my hair's gonna be flat because, you know, we kind of thought that flat represented sad, and we got an explanation, and then completely forgot it. And we have a bit of drama, because in my song, the way I wrote it, the guy doesn't necessarily drift away for another girl, but in Taylor's way of seeing it, he does. And so we have this blond girl in a bubble-gum pink cliché shirt and super skinny jeans who's so much prettier than me in the video. Her name's Ally and she used to model for Forever 21, one of my favorite stores, and when I saw one of her ads I was like 'Oh, my God, she is so pretty!' and then she modeled for one of my favorite books, as the covergirl, and I saw it like a few days before casting closed and I called and they were like, 'Oh, we'll, she's actually one of the finalists,' so that worked out.

"And then picking the guy for this…my God, that was so….hard. Let's see, all of my video guys stand for something different. In 'Bottom of the Ocean' we wanted the guy to look like someone cute who you just never want to let go of, so we chose Mark Kreil, who is just so cute, that—you know. And then for 'Distracted' we wanted him to look like the kind of, ehh, cliché guy that girls always like in high school, but it turns out that he likes you, too. So he wasn't supposed to be the cutest or the hottest guy ever, but he had to be at least some degree of handsome. So it was one of the up and coming young stars, Alex Meraz, who is in the whole, uhh, vampire-werewolf thing craze mania thing, but he was a really funny guy and he was awesome to work with.

"For this one, we needed someone who just looks so sweet that you'd never think they'd ever hurt you. And I think that the point of the song is someone who is hurting you so badly, but they don't do it intentionally, and they may not even know that they're hurting you. I was there when they were casting the guys, most of them looked like the nice guy next door, but no one seemed to fit. And then the band Big Time Rush came in, and they all wanted a part, but they thought they were auditioning for some movie. But Logan looked exactly right, and we hired him. What was weird was that they knew who I was.

"And so, you know, he's got this little 'I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm nice' kind of thing and it's gonna be super fun to film the scenes with him and Ally tomorrow in the street." The director came in and told me I had to go film a scene just in time—when I'd run out of things to say.

The guy with the camera left and went to the set and the director started walking with me towards the room set.

"Okay, Bella, in this you have to cry, and it has to look really real, because we wanted it to look raw and honest, like the song," she started. "So, basically, you have to cry on camera." I took a deep breath. "This is going to be strictly confidential, and if you don't want to tell me you aren't forced to." I nodded. "Okay, who makes you the saddest? What makes you the saddest?" My eyes widened and my thoughts instantly connected to that moment in the forest so long ago.

"I—that's—um," I stuttered.

"Shh, Bella," she said. "You don't have to tell me. But just focus on that one thing—just think about that—and it'll make you cry."

We were at the set now and she motioned for me to go sit in my little corner. I sat next to the dark wooden drawer and pulled my knees up to my chest. The prop guy gave me the Sony Ericson flip phone and the make up artist came over with a brush to make my face perfect while the hair stylist tousled my hair and bangs to make them look uncared for.

The director once again came up to me. "You know what to do, right?" I nodded. "Mouth the lyrics, look sad, think about that one thing, cry when you think it's good, follow my directions, and open and close the phone _a lot_. Got it?" I nodded. "Good." She went back to her place behind the camera and yelled, "PLAYBACK!"

The piano played. The song started. Before the lyrics started, I realized something was off.

"Hey, guys!" I yelled over the whacked track. They stopped the track and the director looked pissed, her penciled eyebrows through the roof.

"Who the hell dared to mess with the track?" she yelled. "Don't you know we need to shoot this quickly?"

"Anyone got the piano version on an iPod or something?" one of the producers called out.

Ally, who was watching the shoot out of pure curiosity, raised her hand and got an iPod Touch out of her purse. They connected it to the speakers and played it once to make sure it was the right version. Once it concluded, the director yelled, "PLAYBACK!" and they started it over again.

The piano started. The song started. Before the lyrics began I opened and closed the phone desperately, looking at the window longingly.

I mouthed some of the words, not others. I opened the phone several times before the chorus. Then during the chorus I stared at it, then curled into a tight ball.

_The forest. Edward left you. He said he didn't love you. You knew it was too good to be true. The forest. He left you. He said he didn't love you. You knew it was too good to be true._

And I started crying. My mascara was running and I was gasping, and the crying was real enough.

I regained my composure enough to let the tears go but mouth the lyrics.

_Back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything?_

And as the song finished I stared at the phone, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, then threw the phone across the room.

_You said forever & always, yeah_

"Good, still rolling?" the director said. "Bella, look past the phone at the window. And deep breath, close your eyes and deep breath. Tears. Good, that's good." I followed all her directions. "And cut." I looked up, and I could see my make up artist and hair stylist glaring at me.

"Okay, everyone take five," the director said. Everyone except the two people mentioned above left for coffee and brownies. "Guys, you too." They hurried out. Then the director, Meena, approached me.

"Did my advice work?" she asked.

"Sure did," I said. "That crying was as real as it can get." I took a deep breath.

Meena crouched down in front of me and put her hand on my knee.

"We're gonna shoot this scene two more times, okay, dear?" she said softly. "But we want more frustration and more…sadness. Crying is sadness, but we want to see it on your face, not in tear form. And also, go back to the make up trailer—they're going to reapply your make up, as your tears won over." She laughed.

"Look, just because you really cried doesn't mean you're a sissy or something, Bella," she tried. "It actually just makes you human. Don't be afraid to show your emotions, or you're not going to be a real person. Understand that?" I nodded. "Good. Now off to the trailer, we only have five minutes."

As I walked to the trailer, the MTV guy came up to me again. "Tell us about your crying on crying on-camera."

"As you can see, I cried, a lot, and my face suffered. So now I have to go put more make up on. But…crying on camera is kind of an art form in acting itself. Just because you have to concentrate on something that makes you cry so hard, something that sometimes I can't even do alone—in front of about thirty people. And if you were supposed to cry and you didn't—well, it's a lot of pressure, and it's not easy."

I opened the door to the trailer and washed my face, then dried it and sat on the chair while the guy came and put my make up on all over again. Then the stylist came to work on my hair, taking out a straightening iron and passing it through my hair for like the thirtieth time today. And the MTV guy turned the camera back on. "Tell us a bit more about the crying."

"Before I went to that set, Meena, the director came up and talked to me. She said 'Who makes you the saddest? What makes you the saddest?' and she said 'Just concentrate on that one thing—just think about that—and it'll make you cry.' And it worked. I am proud of the incredible crying, and the next two shots of that are purely frustration and hurt and confusion and sadness without crying."

"Tell us about what you did before you came here," the guy offered, seeing as I was, like, at a loss for things to say.

"It was really funny because we had to shoot this video quickly because in two days I start press touring for the movie and I had to get this video done. And I'd promised my friend Angela I'd go to her welcome dance at her University, and she goes to a college in Seattle. And just so happens that the welcome dance was the exact day before the first day of video shooting. And I need to be there, in every scene, so it doesn't work if I'm not there. And I couldn't break my promise, so I went to Seattle two days before the party and played a benefit show there, at the mall, because it brought so many memories from when I was starting. And then I went to the party, left around midnight and got on a private jet at three AM, got to L.A. around six and slept on the way home. I had to get here at eight thirty. In order to stay awake, I drank a triple shot frozen espresso thing.

"So basically, it was just crazy and fun," I concluded.

They told me to go back to the set and film the scene again. The MTV guy followed me and I sat in my corner. Meena yelled, "PLAYBACK!" and I mouthed the lyrics, a look of hurt and confusion and pain on my face as I waited for a call that would never arrive. At the end, I threw the phone across the room and wiped my face.

"Great, that was great," Meena said. "Still rolling? Bella, pull your knees up, your arms around them and put your head down in the gap." I did everything slowly as the piano came to a close and then everyone clapped.

"Bella, that was _awesome_!" Ally yelled from the back.

I smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"Okay, let's do one more take and then we're off to hair and make up again," Meena said. Everyone made different sounds of agreement and she yelled, "PLAYBACK!"

I did everything over again, pulling my knees up before the bridge throwing the phone at the wall as the song ended.

"Good, good," Meena said. "Now, Ally and Bella to wardrobe, hair and make up, please."

I got up with Ally's help and we walked to the wardrobe trailer. She was going to wear a bubble-gum pink loose, off the shoulders top with light wash skinny jeans, and with her blond hair and pretty blue eyes the outfit looked cliché, but cute. I was putting on a short, moss green, dress with think straps, a line at the waist and some lighter fabric over the thick, silky fabric of the dress that was little crystals embedded with super cute black high heels.

I walked out of the screen and Ally squealed. "Omigosh, Bella, you look so cute!"

I looked at Ally. "You look actually passable for a girlfriend, though," I said.

"What?"

"As in, you look like what a guy wants," I clarified. "Blond, spunky, pretty, funny, sweet, ambitious, etcetera."

"You think I have a whole bunch of guys lining outside my door?" she asked.

"Well, yeah," I confessed.

"I don't," she said. "Yeah, I'm pretty, and sure, I'm ambitious, but I haven't actually made it big, and I work so much that guys think I'm not committed as a girlfriend. And most guys think I'm too tall to be dateable. Hell, I'm shorter than Taylor Swift!"

"But you're still beautiful," I argued, "and that's the biggest quality guys like."

She laughed. "You need to understand something, Bella," she sighed, "guys don't necessarily think being pretty is the most important thing in a girl. For some sexist pigs it is, but to the guys who are _worth_ your time, it's not the number one quality—it's a bonus."

I smiled.

Just then the MTV guy came in. "Talk about Ally." He turned the camera on.

"This is Ally, and she's going to be in my video," I said, motioning to Ally.

"Hi," she waved.

"She's going to play the girl who my boyfriend cheats with on me, I guess," I chuckled. "And I think she's really pretty and looks super cute in pink." I smiled.

"And this is Bella, she's letting me be in her video, and she's the girl who's boyfriend I like and go out with in secret," Ally said, giggling. "And I think she's really pretty in that dark kind of way and that she looks awesome in blue and that her music is amazing."

Meena's assistant, Eliza, came in and told us to go to hair and make up and the MTV guy followed us. My real phone, which I'd exchanged and was now a T-Mobile Sidekick, beeped. Text message.

I took it out and flipped it open. Text from Demi.

_Hey, ur filming 4ever & always now, right? Good lck, btw did u c cr2 last night? Plz talk bout it to the interview guy. It needs press. :/ ily ttyl_

I texted back.

_Sure no prob. Thanx. Ttyl ily, and btw I did c it :D aww .! _

I sent it as we entered the hair and make up trailer. Instantly, Ally and I sat on our respective chairs and the make up artist started working on her. The hair girl started straightening my hair more and putting glittery beads in random places, then changed the bangs so they didn't look the same as they had for the other shots.

"Talk about something random." The MTV guy popped up everywhere.

"Well, when I was touring, ten days before my birthday, Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam premiered on Disney Channel. I have lots of friends that work on Disney Channel, like Demi and Selena and the Jonas guys, and I usually watch their stuff to support them, and so I really wanted to watch Camp Rock, and also because I knew that from where the previous one had ended, this one had potential. But that day we had a show, so the next day, I was so sad because I thought I'd missed it. Then Demi called asking if I was gonna watch. I was in my hotel room with two of my dancers and we turned on the TV and watched the whole thing. We sang along and, like, literally after the movie was done, I went on i-Tunes and bought 'Introducing Me' by Nick Jonas, my favorite song in the movie, and also because it slightly resembles one of my favorites—'I'm Yours' by Jason Mraz."

"Bella, switch chairs with Ally, please," the make up girl asked.

We switched and the make up artist removed my dark make up and started adding lighter colors and tones, which complimented the rhinestones in my hair. It looked all nice and innocent and pretty. However, I couldn't contemplate the look for very long—the MTV guy spoke up again.

"Can you talk about your friends?" he asked. He turned on the camera.

"I didn't have many friends in high school, but I had Alice, who was my boyfriend's sister, and we're still close to this day. She's awesome and I love her with all my heart." Smile. "I also had Angela, who introduced me to Mr. Webber, my boss, and she is just a sweet and shy and intelligent and beautiful girl, and she's one of my closest friends. Then on my first show, I sang opening for Taylor Swift and we kind of bonded, and now she's one of my best friends. And, you know, one thing lead to another and she introduced me to Demi and Selena at a party, and Miley Cyrus, too, but she doesn't like me. And then when I went to film the movie, most of the people in it bonded and we all got along really well and we're friends."

"Tell us about all the Miley Cyrus drama and your opinion of her." Man, MTV wanted everything.

"With Miley Cyrus….ehh…. it's not drama, per say, it's just that when I met her, I wasn't very big or popular, and she didn't like me, but her manager asked me very strictly not to say anything about her. But if you ask me, I don't like her, but I don't hate her, either. And I know that people are saying rather…..truthful yet hurtful things about her, but she does have a point, in a way. I mean, she's trying to break free of her little girl image, and even though she's hardly eighteen ***A/N: By this time, in the storyline, Miley would be eighteen, as would most of the Disney people.* **but I understand. Will I ever try something like that? I don't think I will. I'm happy—more than happy—with the fans I have, and music doesn't have age, so if I make a song that a twelve-year-old likes and her mother does too, then why would I change it?"

"So you don't like Miley, but you don't hate her, either," Ally concluded.

"Exactly," I said.

Just then, both girls finished and we went to the set. I know it was supposed to be a three-day shoot, but I think we'll finish tomorrow.

My stomach grumbled at the same time that my eyelids began to droop and I yawned.

"Tired?" Ally teased.

"I haven't slept for two days—all the energy I have is thanks to Starbucks," I said, stifling another yawn.

"Ah, girls, here you ar—Bella, what's wrong?" Meena said.

"Oh, she's sleepy and hungry," Ally said.

"Um, then go change and I'll call the lunch break," Meena suggested. My eyes sprung open at the word 'lunch', but they closed again soon enough. "And I think Bella, that you should go home and rest, and come back tomorrow and we finish the last two sequences, k?" I nodded and Ally and I changed again. I took the rhinestones out of my hair, trying—and failing epically—to do it with care. Ally came to help me and then we were off to the nearest place—Subway, which incidentally, was next to a Starbucks.

"Okay, we eat, you get a shot of caffeine, I drive you home, and then I go back to film some scenes," Ally said. We got in my Audi and she drove very carefully, and it was obvious she thought the same as I on the car—it's beauty was to be taken care of carefully.

I ate, not really noticing what I was eating until I spat out the tuna. I don't like tuna. I was about to go and tell the guy he got my sandwich wrong when Ally told me that's exactly what I ordered. I really was _that _loony from lack of sleep. I went and ordered again, then ate the sub and Ally got me the Chocolate Cream Chip from Starbucks with a shot of Espresso. I drank it while she drove me home. I offered for her to use my car and get me tomorrow, but she insisted on taking a taxi.

So I walked to my apartment and opened the door, ready to collapse on my bed, when I found Jacob sitting there. His face betrayed his feelings—he was worried sick.

"Whoa, Jake, what happened?" I asked, setting my bag down and taking off my hoodie.

He came over and wrapped his arms around me. It felt kind of nice, in his warm embrace, as opposed to the cold embrace I got from Edward. No! Don't think like that! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"Oh, Bella, I'm so glad you're safe," he said. He let go and I sat on the bed.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Oh, this is not good," he muttered, oblivious to my question. He started pacing around my room. "Bella, this is not good at all."

"What's not good?" I asked.

"Where are the bloodsuckers? They ought to hear this," he said.

"I don't know, I was filming today and Alice went shopping, but I don't know where Edward is," I said.

"Call them!" he rushed.

"Okay, okay," I said. I got my Sidekick and called Edward.

"Hey, love," his voice greeted me.

"Hey, where are you?" I asked.

"Um, at….Tiffany's, with Alice," he said.

"Oh good, Alice is with you," I sighed. "I need you both to come here right away."

"Why? To the video shoot?" he asked.

"No, no, no, I got sleepy and left that like an hour ago," I said. "Jacob wants to talk to you guys."

"You can tell that dog he can go to hell," Edward said rather harshly.

"He's really worried," I said. "Says it's important that you're here."

"Bella, Alice is busy picking out—dear Lord, what the _hell_ is that?" he said. "Alice!"

"Bella, would you like a diamond necklace with a sapphire on it?" Alice's chirpy voice asked.

"Just come here ASAP and you can buy it later and I promise I'll wear it to the movie premiere," I rushed.

"L.A. premiere or London premiere?" Alice challenged.

"L.A.," I said.

"EDWARD, WE NEED TO GO _NOW_," I heard.

I hung up. "They're on their way."

"Good," Jacob said. "Wait, why was the Pixie screaming?"

"You heard that, didn't you?" I asked.

"Bella, the penguins in the North Pole heard it," he said with a smile.

I laughed. My eyes started drooping again. "Can you just wake me when they get here?" I asked. Jake nodded and I lay down, shoes and all, on the bed. Jacob moved to sit next to my head and began stroking my hair, and the last thing I remember was hearing words in Jacob's voice before falling gladly into the safe oblivion of sleep.

…

Someone was shaking my shoulder, muttering my name over and over, and I didn't like it.

"Gerroff me," I tried to say.

"Bella," a female, high voice said.

"Wha?"

"Jacob wants to talk to us," the girl crooned. "You've slept nine hours already."

"NINE HOURS!" I sat up.

"Yeah, it's like ten PM," Jake joked.

"Aren't _you_ tired?" I asked, stretching my arms. How I got under the sheets is anyone's guess, really. "I mean, you're still human."

"I got used to not sleeping much," he said nonchalantly. "Anyway, there's something more important that needs to be called to attention. Bloodsucker number one, get in here!"

"Bloodsucker number one?" I asked.

"Edward's 'Bloodsucker number one' and I'm 'Pixie leech'," Alice explained with a smug look on her face I could just sense.

"Jacob, that's rude," I whined.

"Whatever, it's funny," he said.

"What did I miss?" Edward's voice asked, coming out of the darkness.

"Oh, come on, like you didn't hear it," Jacob said. "Turn on the light—I hate this. It reminds me of all the time I spent in Forks searching for leeches that weren't there."

Edward turned on the light and sat on the floor next to Alice, while Jacob stood, facing all of us.

"Okay, I called you here because I have news," he started. "As you know, I've stayed this long because Sam told me there was some possible vampire activity in L.A. and since I was in the area, he asked me to check it out. I've been following scents and working hard, and I can honestly say that there is a large coven of bloodsuckers here."

"How large is large? Because a coven of three is unusually large," Alice said. "Hell, our coven is considered freaks. The only coven who is bigger than ours is the Volturi, and it's only because they have the guard. Without them, they'd only be five ancient vampires."

"I'm talking of about twenty or so vampires, plus a momma and a daddy," Jacob said, rubbing his hands together. "The chick is a redhead with a knack for escaping, and the guy is pretty average, with sandy hair and a big build. Ever meet anyone like that?"

"Well, we have been acquainted with a redhead, but maybe it's not the same woman," Edward said. "What's her name?"

"Her lover, the guy, calls her Victoria, but the babies don't see her," Jacob reported.

"Whoa, wait, _lover_? No, we killed James almost two years ago!" Alice said.

"The guy doesn't go by James," Jacob said. "He goes by Danniel."

"Okay, whatever, tell us more," Edward said.

"Anyway, I've been following her around in wolf form since I saw her and I found some stuff out." Jacob looked proud of himself, then his face was a worried mess. "Things aren't as good as we thought they were. This chick is building an army, an army of newborn bloodsuckers. She's made about twenty or so, and she has Danniel train them for battle every few days. I haven't exactly heard what her plan is, but I've gotten the gist of it by the conversations I've heard.

"She's telling him that there is a coven with strange eyes that lives in L.A. and feeds on aspiring artists. She even told him that Michael Jackson's death was these guys' fault and they used the papa doctor to clear it up and make the charges. And she says that once they find Victoria and him there, they will hunt them down until the city is theirs again. And that the reason they kill aspiring artists is so their girl, a human celebrity, can make more money. They're targeting Bella," he stressed. "And they're training the newborns to have them die in battle or something , and somehow Bella will die, too."

"Whoa, this is heavy," I said, quoting Marty McFly in the _Back to the Future _movies.

"Bella, that means you can't go out anymore unprotected," Edward said, his face like stone. "You can't go anywhere without me or Alice. I'll call up the family and in a few days Jasper and Emmett will be here to protect you, too. And we'll need to plan a strategy, so that if it _does_ come to a fight, we're ready."

"Whoa, whoa, wait," I said. "You're bringing your family here so they can protect me? What do you mean I can't go anywhere? I have to shoot videos, be at press conferences, movie premieres. It isn't something I can just back out of. This is my job, and I need to do it. I have to finish the video tomorrow, do the photo shoot the day after that, and then I'm press touring with Bridgit, Logan, Emma, and a whole bunch of other actors from the movie. I'm the main character—I can't just _not_ be there."

"You can't be there if you won't be safe," he said in a hard tone. "And you're not leaving this building until those newborns and Victoria are dead."

"And how do you think you're going to manage that? If I don't show up on the set, they're just going to have Ally come and pick me up, and I can't say I can't go to my own video shoot because some psycho vampire is trying to kill me and my vampire boyfriend isn't letting me leave until the girl is dead," I said.

"Bella, you don't understand," Alice said. "Newborns aren't like normal vampires. When they're young, they're stronger and fiercer than a regular vampire. They'd be more powerful than me or Edward."

"But you two act as if you knew for sure Victoria was going to stroll in here tomorrow with her army and her guy and try to bite Bella," Jacob said. "I heard that they need to do it when the popularity goes down, so that Bella's not as watched by the paparazzi and it's easier to get to her. That won't happen in a long time, with the movie and the second album coming out."

"Jacob's got a point," I said, throwing him a grateful look. "We don't know when she's planning to do this. The world would know if Bella Swan was out of the radar for more than a week."

"You're in the tabloids every week?" Jacob asked, clearly impressed.

"I was exaggerating, Jacob, to prove my point," I said.

"But Bella—," Edward tried.

"But Bella, nothing," I said. "I need to work. It's what I do."

"Then at least have one of us accompany you everywhere, so if something happens we know," Alice said.

I looked at Jacob for approval. He half-smiled. I looked at Edward. His face was beyond anger, beyond rage, beyond…..whatever synonym for anger, only more potent, comes after rage. He glared at the floor and when he realized I was looking at him, stormed out of the room, with a quick, "I won't have it. She's not protected."

I heard the front door slam shut and the wooden doll that said, "Welcome" hung behind the door clanged behind it.

"He'll get over it," Alice said. "He's just mad you don't want to go along with his plan."

"Of course I don't want to go along with his plan!" I said. "It's ridiculous. How could I just be absent to all these events? Stay here locked up until Victoria decides to come and kill me? No way."

"Whatever, but at least let me go with you to the shoot tomorrow," Alice plead, "just to make sure you're protected."

"Fine, Alice," I grumbled. "Now let me sleep!"

Jacob and Alice left my room and turned off the light, and I slept, dreading the approach of someone with cold, hard skin for the first time in a very long time.

**Thanks so much for reading. Please review and tell me what you think. **


	27. Chapter 27

**Dear readers, I know you are all incredibly . . .angry, maybe, at me because I haven't posted in like forever. But, alas, here is a chapter.**

**I have to say something first. Anyone ever read _The Hunger Games_? They are fabulous books, fast reads if you're willing to stay up and spend every waking moment reading. ;) Anyway, they are presented near the end here, because as you may have noticed, everything I get obsessed with ends up in some way or form in one of my stories. TEAM PEETA! :)**

**I had bigger plans for this chapter, but let's just say it got a bit long, so what was coming will probably be in the next chapter. I'll be honest. I have absolutely no idea when I'll post it, but I hope you understand I just don't want to end this, so I have no clue when. I've lost the thrill of writing over the past few months because I don't get any reviews because I post so rarely nowadays. I know it's all my fault. I won't go all Emo on you like Katniss (Hunger Games) so yeahhh…**

**Hope you had great Holidays, and a Happy New Year :)**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY STORES, CHARACTERS, BRANDS, PEOPLE, BOOKS OR TITLES MENTIONED HERE OR ANYWHERE ELSE. I DO THIS FOR FUN. Enjoy.**

**BPOV:**

"Bella, we have only one more little sequence and you can go home," the director told me, looking slightly gleeful and still a bit guilty, for which the reason I do not know, as we finished recording the bedroom scene for the video.

"Okay," I said, Alice smiling a sly smile, "where do I go to get dressed?"

"They have the outfit in the wardrobe trailer, hon, just get dressed," she said.

"Ok," I said.

I walked towards the trailer, Alice at my damn heels, as she had been for the past few days. I got to the trailer and dressed in light wash jeans and a lilac blouse with white platform heels. There were other similar outfits draped on the couch. The assistant wardrobe girl was checking some papers in the trailer, sitting in a desk.

"Hey. . ." I trailed off.

She looked up. "Amy. My name's Amy." She blushed. "Sorry."

"No, it's fine," I said. "I'm sorry. .I should know your name."

"Heck yeah, you should," Alice piped up. "She dressed you about an hour ago in that beautiful dress everyone liked."

"Thanks a lot, Ali," I said sarcastically. "Anyway, Amy, what's those outfit's for?"

Amy blinked. "Those?" She pointed towards the clothes draped over the couch. I nodded. "They didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I asked.

"The sequence they were gonna do," Amy said slowly, "the dates sequence. . ."

"They told me I was doing a little sequence, nothing more," I said.

"They had a brain wave that just as you see him kissing Ally, you have flashbacks of dates and touching moments and you see that he isn't who you think he is," Amy said.

"So I'm basically gonna have to change into all of those outfits?" I asked.

I looked at each one carefully. Thank the heavens there were only three.

One was a medium length white skirt, black Converse and a black V-neck shirt. Another was dark skinny jeans, silver flats and a long, sleeveless form-fitting silvery shirt. The last was a pink tube top with light pink circles inside it with a white knit cardigan over it, a jeans miniskirt and white flats. I have to say, they were pretty cute outfits.

"Aren't they nice?" Amy asked.

"They made you come up with these for the next day?" I asked, shocked.

"I had lots of inspiration, but it was mostly like green and blue colors, and they wanted you to be a bit girlier, so they went with prettier things and pink and silvery and stuff," she said.

"That's amazing," I said. "I totally love this wardrobe!"

"I'm sure Eddie loves it, too," Alice said.

I glared at her. "Shut up."

"Whateves, Bells," she laughed.

Amy raised her brows but said nothing. She went back to reading whatever she was reading, and Alice and I walked out towards the set. Once there, Meena **{? Can't remember if that was the name..} **told me we were gonna film me and him laughing and holding hands walking down a little park street.

"Where's Logan, then?" I asked.

"Changing," Meena **(?) **offered.

"Okay, and after that what are we gonna film?" I asked. "Cause I know there are three more outfits."

She laughed knowingly. "We built a little restaurant set, a moonlit night set, and a schoolyard set. It fits with the age a bit. I mean, we didn't want to have like, say a date in a club dancing like MC, would we?" We both laughed.

"Okay, so what do we do in this scene?" Logan's voice came from behind me. **(Remember, this is not Logan Lerman, this is Logan from Big Time Rush.)**

"Where did _you_ come from?" I asked, startled.

"My mother," he said confusedly.

"Whatever, chop chop, kids, focus," Meena said. We both looked at her. "Here, you hold hands and look at each others' eyes and laugh heartedly. It's just a happy couple moment, so make it as sweet as possible, please."

We nodded and went to the edge of the set and they started playing the music. Every time Meena wanted us to do something, she called it out, and we filmed it three times, then both hurried to the trailers to change.

This process happened three more times, except in different sets and clothes. In the end, I think the result would be the most emotional video I'd done yet.

The next day, Alice followed my every move as we went to the studio to shoot the promo shots for the video. They were using some of the wardrobe I had used in the shoot, really Romantic and yet dark shots, and even with Alice chirping at everything, it was still amazing fun.

Then Logan Lerman, not from BTR, called me and told me the press tour started in a week.

"I know, Logan," I said. "You call me every single week and tell me."

"Just to make sure you don't forget," he said, laughing.

"Well, shush, I got stuff on my mind and I gotta record this song by next week," I said.

"Okay, sorry, we'll talk later, bye," he said. The line went dead.

I looked around the recording studio and put the headphones back on.

"Play it back, please, Marty," I asked.

We were recording _Chemicals React_ for the single for the tenth time today. Even though Marty, Alice and everyone else there said every single time I sang it through it sounded great, I knew there was a bit more I could do.

I loved this studio. It was always fun to record here because Selena, Christina Aguilera, John Lennon and so many legendary artists had recorded here, going through the same process over and over again, just to make the now-classic songs that are so famous and amazing that they aren't played on the radio.

I also loved the look of the studio. The owner always made a deal with every singer to walk through the door—when a song you record here makes it big, you send us the cover art signed and we put it on the wall. I didn't have my covert art up there yet, but it was beyond my wildest dream to do so. However, that was outside the recording area per-se. The recording area itself was a bunch of mirrors. The_walls_ were mirrors, and I gotta say, it was kind of creepy to see yourself reflected three times as you sang.

Alice always said I had to look hot-mazing when I came in to record because as this was such a high-profile studio, the paparazzi would be outside to take pictures and I always had to look my best. I was wearing these light-wash skinny jeans and an over-sized black and gray T-shirt that in gold letters said 'Catch Me, I Am Falling'. So me, right?

"Last time for this one, Bella, k?" Marty said.

I nodded and the music played again. Once we went through it again, Marty told me to come outside.

We mixed the song and when everyone was beyond satisfied, we went home. Or rather, I suggested to Alice that we go home and she speeded down the high way to get there.

"Ali, SLOW DOWN!" I yelled, clutching the seat, my heart beating a million miles an hour.

"Shhhh, you're just making it worse by being scared," she said in a would-be soothing voice.

"I'm going to call someone if you don't slow down," I warned. My threat, however, didn't sound so menacing because my voice cracked in the middle.

"You're not going to do that." Her voice was icy and menacing. Ten times way more menacing that anything I could've ever mustered.

"Alice?" I asked.

She suddenly pulled over and parked in a little alley way. Now, forgive me for being a girl, but I was starting to get a teensy bit scared. I mean, I knew no human could do any harm to Alice, and Alice's whole point for, um, how do I put this lightly?, gluing herself to me and following me everywhere I go, being my sole companion, was to keep me safe. So what could possibly happen?

Pfft. Instincts are more powerful than reason, and right now my instincts were telling me I should be careful.

I glanced over at Alice, only to see her with a glazed look in her eyes. She was having a vision. She came to and gasped.

"Bella," she said urgently, "call Jacob and tell him to stay here and not go anywhere."

I obeyed silently, knowing she was serious.

"Hey, Bella, what's up?" Jake's cheery voice greeted me.

"Do not leave. Where are you?" I asked.

"Your place, actually," he said. "I was tracking some of the bloodsuckers and they were pretty close to your apartment complex, so I wanted to make sure they haven't been near your place. You're clear, for now."

"Alice said to not leave," I said. "Stay at the house, watch TV, eat, do whatever, but do not leave. We'll be there in a few minutes."

"Okay, I won't leave, I swear," he said. "Just stop sounding like a whack-job."

"Jacob, I have a vampire boyfriend, a vampire best friend and a werewolf best friend," I stated camly. "I think I have the right to sound like a whack-job!"

"Jeez, okay, see ya later," he said after laughing.

Alice sped through the streets towards my apartment building, only this time, I was terrified of the driving. I was now worried for whatever Alice saw in her vision.

Once up in my apartment, Jake saw that I was okay and gave me a big bear hug, which comforted me lots. Then we sat on the couch and Alice looked at Jacob intently.

"I know you hate my kind, but this is a sacrifice for Bella," she started. "I had a vision that the vampire army thing… well, they're getting stronger, and as Jacob said, they're getting closer and closer to getting your scent. What I saw was a decision made by Victoria. She decided to make the friends around you 'disappear'. Example: One day, out of nowhere, Taylor Swift isn't found in her hotel room or whatever and is reported missing, only to be concluded years later when someone makes up a story that she died.

"But, Victoria can't make people disappear if she doesn't have an army to do the work _for her_. See, she doesn't want to get her hands dirty with this business. My catching that decision was pure chance. What I was thinking was that Jacob gets back up and attacks these vampires before it's too late. I mean, I know it's very dangerous, but it's for Bella."

Alice suddenly realized how desperate her plan sounded and sat on the floor, her head down. Her disappointment was very evident.

"Whoa, whoa, wait," Jacob said, "not that I'm not into the whole kill vampires thing, but why can't you bloodsuckers do it?"

"Because, one year ago, Edward went to Italy to ask for a favor from the Volturi," Alice began narrating. "They are a very old, almost royal family, as powerful as one can get in our world, and Aro, their leader, wanted to see if Edward's intentions were true. He read Edward's every mind and saw his every memory, including telling Bella about our world. He broke the only law our kind have—to keep the secret. By doing so, he put the whole family in danger, and we're kind of on parole. We can't do anything to put us in danger or they will kill us.

"And that's exactly the kind of thing we can't do. And also, because newborn vampires are much stronger than us, and it would be much easier and fun for you, and because I know you're just _dying_ to get your paws on a leech you can kill." Alice finished with a smirk.

"So basically, to make it easier and safer for you," Jacob said. There was a prolonged silence in which I began doubting Jake. Then he smirked. "You're reeeeeeaaaaaaally lucky me and my pack wanna kill some bloodsuckers. Lemme call the guys."

He went to the guest room and I suddenly realized Edward wasn't here.

"Alice, where's—?"

"Edward?" she said. "He didn't tell you? He was going to New Hampshire to visit Esme and the rest of the family."

"No, he didn't tell me," I said, feeling the weight of my words crashing down on me. "How long is he going to be gone?"

"Eleven days, two weeks tops," she said cautiously.

The sinking sensation, well, sunk in, and it felt as though a huge weight had been dropped onto my chest, and it hadn't settled yet.

I went to the kitchen and got myself a can of Coke, just to keep myself busy. Truly, my stomach was in knots, and therefore in absolutely in _no _state for anything to go in it, but. . .

I really thought Edward trusted me enough to tell me when he was leaving. Maybe he thought I'd try and follow him, missing him terribly? No, I know I have things to do and responsibilities to withhold. But then, what could he possibly find as a passable excuse for not telling me he was leaving.

"Bella," Jacob called out.

"In here," I called out. Jake came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"I got neutral news—." I cut him off.

"_Neutral _news?" I asked, a bit amused.

"Yeah, cause I know you're not gonna love it, but you're not gonna be so mad at me," he explained. "Anyway, thing is, I talked to Sam, and. . . I gotta go to La Push to convince the rest of the guys. Or at least the stronger guys of the pack. And I'll be gone for. . .about two weeks, maybe three."

It took a moment to register what Jake said, and the whole time my only thought was that Jake told me when he was going away, and my boyfriend, my true love, _Edward_, didn't have the damn guts to do it.

"So you won't be here for two weeks?" I asked softly.

"No," he said. "And then for a while I'll be killing those bloodsuckers."

"You're telling me ahead of time?" I asked softly again.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" he said, confused. Then, you could practically see the realization, followed by anger, wash over the expressions on his face. Then he controlled himself and his eternal mask of patience was back again. "Your bloodsucker's not here." I nodded. "He didn't tell you?" I nodded again. "JERK!"

"Jacob!" I shushed. "I know it is kind of jerk-ish of him, but. . . .I don't know."

"Forget about him," Jacob said.

"Jaaaaaaaaa-yyyy-cooooooob," I groaned.

"Seriously," he said. "Your life would be a lot less complicated without him."

"He knows," I said. "But it would also be a lot less entertaining."

"So you think having _blood_thirsty _blood_suckers plotting your murder entertaining?" Jacob asked sarcastically.

"Shhhh," I said. "You know I don't."

"I'm just saying," he said.

"Anyway, when do you. . .leave?" I asked.

"Tomorrow night," he answered.

"Oh." The word seems inadequate, but it's the only thing I can say.

Tonight, I spent as much quality time with Jacob as I possibly could, and the next day, he went with me to the studio while Alice hunted. At lunch, the paparazzi walked up to me and asked who Jacob was.

"He's just a really good friend," I answered truthfully, adding a smile that always signaled truth in a statement.

"And where's your boyfriend?" a guy asked me.

"He's visiting his family," I answered, keeping all emotion out of my face.

"And what are you doing now just before your press tour?" I had forgotten momentarily about the press tour. Which would be a three-week-long cross-country tour.

"I got in a bit of last minute recording to get a head start on the second album, and just hanging out with my friends," I said.

"Ooh, when's the new album coming out?" another reporter asked.

"Somewhere in between June and October," I answered. "Maybe a second single in April, I'm releasing one before the movie comes out."

We were walking into the restaurant, and even though the reporters were asking more questions, I just waved and smiled until we were inside.

"The paps are crazy people," Jacob commented.

"Shhhh," I said. "They may not be inside, but it's rude to say stuff like that."

We ate and went to the park. We sat underneath a tree and just talk. Then suddenly he sits up and looks at me in the eye. "Bella, I've been meaning to say this for a while, and given the heaviness of the situation and the circumstances, I think it's better to say it now."

"Spit it out, then, Jake," I said with a smile.

"I'm in love with you," he said bluntly.

I stared at him for a minute before understanding his words. Then I lowered my face.

"Jacob," I pleaded.

"I know you think you don't feel the same way, but I know it's there," he said. "I know you feel something for me. . .too."

"Jake," I pleaded again. Pleading for him to stop.

"The press tour starts Saturday, and then you're off, and I'm not gonna get to see you until a few days, maybe a few weeks before the premiere, but neither is your bloodsucker," he said. "Listen, if you were to rate who was better for you now, I'd win, not because I'm human, but because I told you about my leaving. He didn't bother to share. He's been distant for a while. Don't you think you should consider your options?"

"Jacob, I can't think about this now," I said.

"Just try and think about it, please," he said, "for me."

I was about to look at his face, registering the truth in his words, because behind them was a tone that was so unbelievably honest, it couldn't even be a half-truth, because it sounded like he really meant it. My phone went off, beeping the producer of the movie's ring tone.

"Hey," I said.

"Hello, Bella," he said. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Oh, no, it's fine," I assured him, my voice sounding truthful, yet so, so untrue.

"Well, you see, we're giving the movie a _lot_ of press, but people aren't so psyched," he started. "They want to see the superstars behind the camera working their magic together."

"We're going to be on tour basically the whole of the next month and a half," I deadpanned.

"I don't mean seeing you guys answer questions," he said. "They want to see you two interacting."

"We're friends," I said. "Everyone knows that. We're going to be as we always are on tour."

"The audience wants more," he said, finality in his tone.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"They want to the Taylor and Nick come to life as Logan and Bella, kissing, holding hands, flirting, the whole enchilada, but for real," he said.

"But I don't love Logan," I said. "He's like an awesome friend, but I don't like him that way."

"This is for the sake of the movie," he said. "Break up just before the DVD release if you want, to get people riled up again, but by the beginning of the tour, the fact that you two are a couple must be announced."

"The tour starts in four days!" I said. "You want me to drop my boyfriend for some fake thing so the movie gets more press?"

"Please?" he asked.

"I hate this, and you." I hung up the phone and called Edward's phone. Of course, luck was hardly ever on my side, and he didn't even pick up. Alice would know this was happening, but she wouldn't be able to communicate with him either. Jacob touched my arm, trying to comfort me.

Jacob! Jacob was going back to the rez. He wasn't going to fly all the way there, he was going to be running past Edward. Could he give him a note?

"Jacob!" I started. He looked at me and I quickly explained, and he agreed—after my consent to give Edward a solid punch on the gut for my sake—and told me to go home and write the note.

We went home and he turned on the TV. I got a paper and pen, then sat on the table.

_Edward,  
I suppose by the time you get this, you'll know what's going on anyways, but I have to tell you. The producers of the movie asked me to be Logan's girlfriend for a little while, just to get a bit more press. I need that extra piece of luck, and it's just pretend, just like the movie was pretend. It's just how it works. But you're the one I'll miss, and I hope you miss me too. I won't see you for about two months, thanks to you taking off like a freaking ass—I WILL contain my effin anger. Okay, breathe in, breathe out. Phew. Okay, so I guess I'll see you around.  
P.S. If Jacob hits you too hard, that extra punch is from me, for you taking off like a spoiled, rich boy who couldn't—BREATHE.  
—Bella_

I stood up and handed the note to Jacob. "What do you think?"

He read it through swiftly and gave me a sly smile. "I wish you would include how disappointed you are and everything."

"Trust me, that's coming for him, just not in paper," I said. He raised his eyebrows and laughed. "Now I gotta go announce I dumped him."

"Twitter will probably be the best option," Jacob called out as I ran to the computer.

I Tweeted: 'my relationship w/ Edward is done. I'm not feeling it anymore. Sorry :('

Then I called Logan.

"Reese called you, too?" I asked as soon as he picked up.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"About how we're going to be going out now," I said.

"I just got a text," he said. "Oh look, that's exactly what it says."

"I say we make it as public as possible," I said. "Go to a restaurant, nothing but paparazzi around us, in the passing you say I look cute, I say I broke up with Edward, you comment about how great I'm coping and ask me to be your girlfriend. How's that?"

"I bet Reese would _love_ that," he said. "But if you broke off with him today, then we should wait at least two days. It seems a bit trampy in Hollywood to do what you're saying tomorrow."

"Okay, then the day before tour starts?" I asked.

"Great," he said. "So. . . .why'd you break up with Edward?"

"Oh, I explained it in a letter," I said. "He'll probably get it in a few days."

"Why in a letter?" he asked. "Wait, right, right, he's out of state."

"Yeah," I said. "Anyway, I'll talk to you later."

I hung up and walked back out to Jacob, sat next to him and looked at the TV.

"What the hell are you watching?" I asked.

"Jersey Shore," he answered easily.

"Why?" I asked, perplexed.

"There's nothing else on," he said. He pressed a button on the remote and the TV turned off. He looked at me in the eyes. His eyes were burning. With passion. With love. With reluctance. Slowly, ever so slowly, he dipped his head and his lips found mine.

For some reason, my eyes closed. And I kissed him back. I broke apart almost instantly, but I could see the triumphant smile on his face.

"Why?" I put all my feelings into that one word. The hate, towards myself, the confusion, everything.

"You need to know you love me, too," he said. "If you want me to leave, I understand."

"You better go say goodbye to your aunt in Sacramento," I said, my voice like a robot's.

"Okay, I understand," he said. "Call me whenever you wanna talk, okay?" I nodded. "See you later." He walked out and left.

And then it was just me, completely alone in my apartment, left to dwell with feelings I had no idea what to think about.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Bridgit, you're coming on the tour, too, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, definitively," she said. "During those weeks I don't need to be on set, and it'll be a lot of fun."

"Oh, cool," I said.

"Bella, something's off," she said.

"I know," I said. "I'm just having a bit of trouble over a boy. . ."

"Edward?" she asked softly.

"He left with no explanation," I said.

"I get it," she said. "However, sadly I can't help you with that. I'll talk to you later, k?"

"Sure," I said. "Bye." The line went dead.

I knew the only person I could pour my heart out to without worrying about it slipping for the paparazzi was Angela. And it was just time for the start of her shift at Border's, too. Just in time.

I dialed her number and hoped for the best.

"_The number you have tried to reach is out of service."_

I nearly just said a very terrible word.

Now what am I going to do? "ALICE?" I called out. I had no idea where she was, but surely she wouldn't leave me unprotected?

Silence. FML. **(Nice little tidbit for the people who know that site ;). I just didn't want to say that so blatantly.)**

I considered calling Taylor, but. . .what would she tell me? He loves me and I should forgive him, or he doesn't care enough to trust me with heavy things like that, or . . . .what?

Yesterday, Jacob left. Alice was nowhere to be found. Angela was unreachable. I couldn't ask Bridgit for help. Selena was so busy. Taylor would tell me the advice she's provided several times prior. Demi was. . .in rehab. Who could I turn to? The only friend I somewhat had left was Logan, and he said we should do the girlfriend-boyfriend thing tomorrow. But couldn't be go out, as friends, today?

My hands were on the phone before my mind registered what was going on.

"Logan?" I said.

"Hey, Bella, what's up?" he asked.

"You said to do the public thing tomorrow, but can't we go out today. . .as just friends?" I asked. "I need someone right now."

"What about Bridgit? Selena? Your friend Angela? Or that tiny girl?" he asked.

"Bridgit said she can't help me, Selena's terribly busy, I can't contact Angie and I don't even know where Alice _is_," I answered frantically. "Please, let's go to some store or something? It could even get some rumors going. . ."

"I guess you're right," he said slowly, "but I'm kind of in the middle of something."

"What are you doing?" I asked cautiously.

"I need to finish reading this script. My manager told me I should finish before tour so I can be ready if people ask me questions about future stuff," he said.

"And what am _I _going to do?" I asked, feeling so selfish as I spoke.

"Read a book or something," he offered. "Didn't you tell me you've got this huge collection of books in your room? Read one. Or go to Border's and get a new series."

My day suddenly brightened up. "Thank you so damn much, Logan!" I hung up after he said thanks. I showered again and put on light jeans, my black Converse and an Undesirable N. 1 _Harry Potter_ 7 T-shirt, grabbed my new over-the-shoulder Coach bag and got in my car. I went to the nearest Border's and said hi to the paparazzi that had followed my car here.

"Bella, how are you handling the break-up?" one guy asked.

"I'm getting through it," I said. "I'm going to get a book to try and. . . .you know, something new."

"And how's Logan?" a lady with light tawny eyes asked.

"Great, I guess," I said. "We're going to hang out tomorrow, get some prep before the tour." I smiled.

I went inside the Border's doors, where the paparazzi were, thankfully, for some unknown reason not allowed, and headed for the Young Adult section.

_Harry Potter._ Check.

_Maximum Ride. _Check.

_Mortal Instruments. _Check.

_Percy Jackson._ Check.

Most of the big franchises I had already read, and I didn't want some Horror, Vampire, or Romance book. I looked around for someone who worked here.

"Hi, my name's Annie, how can I help you?" a blond girl said as she turned around. Her face was round, with pretty hazel eyes, full lips and a slight smile. Her expression was somewhat bored, and I can't blame her much for that. Then she registered who had tapped her on the shoulder. "Bella Swan?"

I nodded my head, but with my eyes, asked her to shush. "I'm looking for something not about Horror, Vampires, Mythology, or a novel solely carried by teen romance. Anything like that?"

"Oh, yeah, they're these awesome books called _The Hunger Games,_" she said. My face showed complete confusion. "Never heard of them?" I shook my head. "They're about this post-nuclear war world, where this government kind of place tries to show their twelve districts they are the boss, and send twenty-four kids to these games where only one can survive, and then the girl. . .ugh, they're amazing. You'll love them."

"How many are they?" I asked.

"Three, the last one came out last year," she said.

"How long are they?" I asked

"They first one is like 374 pages or so, the second one 391, and the third 390," she said.

"First person or third person?" I asked.

"First person, narrator being Katniss Everdeen," she said.

"Author?" I asked.

"Suzanne Collins," she provided.

"You really do love these books, don't you?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said. "Would you like to take them?"

"Yeah," I said. "If it's got anyone that hooked, it's got to be really good." She laughed and showed me where they were.

The first book's cover was black, with a golden bird inside a circle, the second red with a bronze-ish bird, the third a beautiful baby blue with a silver bird. They looked so interesting. I grabbed a copy of each one and bought them. I signed the check out girl's Team Peeta bracelet and went back outside, preparing myself for the paparazzi.

"Whatcha got there, Bella?" a girl asked.

"_The Hunger Games _books," I said. "I haven't started them yet, but I bet they'll be great reads." I smiled. I walked a bit faster and made it to my car before anyone could get out any more questions.

I got home in a flash and decided I better get everything out of the way before starting to read, so I cleaned my room, made dinner and called my stylist to tell her to come over to pick the clothes for the tour and she said she'd come in tomorrow in the morning to pick out the outfits for the stops and everything else. I then ate and got in my pajamas, considered making hot chocolate, made it, and then checked the daily gossip.

**BELLA SWAN A 'HUNGER GAMES' SUPER-FAN—HOPING TO BE KATNISS EVERDEEN  
Singer, actress, and now what? Bella Swan is taking off for tour for her movie, which was filmed last summer with rumored romance Logan Lerman, and she has recently broken up with her boyfriend, Edward. She announced this mere days ago, via Twitter. And already she seems fine. She was, as we reported, out with her guy friend Jacob, who has left LA. And she was seen going into Border's.  
She said she was "getting through [the break up]" and she's getting a new book for "something new, you know". She was seen walking out, walking swiftly, and when asked, she said she bought the _Hunger Games_ books, (written by Suzanne Collins), and we can only hope she gets enough enthusiasm to audition for Katniss.  
-GossipChickadeeOnline**

I haven't even read the books, but I guess I can't get bad publicity for this, can I?

I updated Twitter, saying

'putting off reading the Hunger Games….I think I'll start now…Anyone read them? :)'

And then I picked up _The Hunger Games._

**_PART I_**_  
"THE TRIBUTES"_

**_1)_**

_ When I wake up, the other side of my bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim's warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping._

**A few hours later. . . . . . .**

I had to stop reading. It was almost midnight and I had to be up by nine, at the very least, to be ready for my stylist. But this story was emotionally riveting, and what I needed, _distracting_.

I went to sleep, the black book next to my pillow. My dream starred Peeta, a boy with beautiful blond hair and blue eyes, professing his love for Katniss, a girl with long dark hair and gray eyes, over and over, with such honesty.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

I shut off my alarm and wake up, craving more _Hunger Games_. But I can't. I have to get ready for my stylist, and she is not gonna like seeing me, my hair a tangled mess, bags under my eyes, huddled over a book in my PJs.

I showered, dressed in simple clothes, got a suitcase ready for my new stylist, Katie, and ate some breakfast, then sat in a corner and continued reading.

Before I knew it, my phone buzzed. Katie was calling.

"Tell the guard to let me up," she said.

I told the guard and Katie made her way to my apartment, saw me on the sofa, halfway through the book and told me to drop it and show her my closet.

Crap. I never, ever, want to drop this book again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

We finished making the bag, the whole while catching up, me thinking about how Katniss would absolutely _hate_ most of these outfits, and she had a snack and left. I immediately picked up the book again.

I have no idea how much time passed between my picking up the book and Logan calling, but I guess enough time, because I was nearly seventy pages away from the ending and I was hungry for lunch.

"Hey, Bella," he greeted.

"Hiya," I said. "What's up?"

"Meet me at Baskin Robin's in an hour, will you?" he said. "To stage the boyfriend-girlfriend thing."

I had forgotten about that, so absorbed in Katniss' world. "Ok, yeah, sure."

I showered, got really pretty, made a bag, checked my hair in the mirror countless times, repeated to myself this would be like Katniss being Gale's girlfriend—he might feel something, but she felt nothing for him at all. Then I got in my car and went to the Baskin Robin's. I waited till I saw Logan's car, then went over there, keen on the paparazzi seeing us.

"Hey," he said, kissing my cheek. "What's that book you got there?"

"_The Hunger Games_," I said, smiling at him. "I've got the second one, _Catching Fire_, in my car."

"I guess they must be awesome, then, for such a smart and talented girl to read them," he said, taking my hand.

"You know, this is a little overboard, we haven't even flirted yet," I whispered in his ear, keeping a coy smile on my face in case the paparazzi saw.

"This is me flirting with you, and in the shop you flirt back," he said in the same manner.

Oh, goodie. I'm just another piece of Hollywood's games.

I mean, everything has a way to be, and this is, in a way, similar to the message in the books.

We flirted, hugged, smiled and laughed our way through our ice cream, then drove in separate cars to a little park. We sat on the bench, close together, and he asked me what I was feeling for Edward.

"I'm really hurt, because he's been a part of my life for so long, but it was time for change," I said. I smiled at him.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't be," I said. "I have you." I kissed his cheek. He moved his lips toward mine, and it was just like back in the set. I was playing the Bella character now, and he was playing the Logan character.

"Would you go out with me?" he asked.

"Sure," I said.

Let the media buzz. . . .begin.

**I think I pretty much prepped up _The Hunger Games. _Go and read them, they are amazing. Also, I think I'll show one tour stop and then Bella will give you an overview of the others, because honestly, let's say it's a twenty-city tour that takes a month and a half, TV appearances, and interviews. When they're mostly asking the same questions. So yeah. There's another little storyline where you'll get to see kind of like in Eclipse, Bella & Jacob, just like in this chapter, and then. . . .I know I was strongly Team Edward, but really, in this he's turned out to be so grumpy, maybe she'll keep Jacob. Ooh, Poll Alert! Review and tell me what you think, PM me if you know _The Hunger Games_ and need to discuss it like I do, and if you want Bella to be with Edward or Jacob. Forget the personalities in the books, please, and concentrate on what they've done in this story. :) Thanks for reading. –Adriana**

**I realize this has been written out, just sitting in my laptop for three weeks. So you get extra. Over extra.**

It was crazy, to say the least. Every single Hollywood gossip site, FaceBook, Twitter, everything, was buzzing about our relationship. Then on tour, some questions were about the filming, the psychology of the characters and the relationship with the cast and crew and the author of the novel, and then there were the questions of 'is Logan a good boyfriend?' 'does he kiss you goodnight?' 'is he a gentleman?' and kinds of things that didn't have anything to do with the movie and stuff that I shouldn't have had to answer. In one of the tour stops, though, there was a girl who asked me how I was liking _the Hunger Games._

"They are amazing books," I said. "I mean, I'm still by the middle of _Catching Fire_, but, my God, Suzanne Collins is amazing. Just the best. I love everything about them, except the gore. I get really, really dizzy around blood, and when they make the movie, oh Lord, someone's going to have to cover my eyes or I might. . .ugh, let's say it won't be pretty." The enormous crowd laughed. "But, seriously, Hailee Steinfield, from _True Grit_, or Danielle. . .oh, her name escapes me, well, she's blond, but they can die her hair, either one has my vote for Katniss."

And then the really irrelevant questions like, "What perfume do you like?"

It was exhausting, though, we hardly rested. But it was huge fun. Logan and I were in endless TV shows, and I even got to tape an episode for Birdgit's show. It was a small cameo, but some chick in the backround screams my name and they all run towards me, and then Bridgt's character rolls her eyes and keeps talking to her friend. Then it was tour, tour, talk, tour, talk, rest, etc.

Just let me say, getting to New York for the premier of the movie, with three days to spare, to rest and to go on two talk shows, well, when the past month and a half has been crazy and question this, answer that, sign this, wave at that, well, a long time to sleep and to be rightly pampered feels good.

The first TV talk show was alone, and my hair was in a curled ponytail, falling down my right shoulder. I was wearing a powder pink silky-satin mini dress with small crystals imbedded around the waistline, the oversized frame of the dress making me seem younger, looking nice, in great contrast with the nude-colored high heels and the light make up.

The host introduced me and we talked about the movie, about how it was looking out to be amazing from all the clips, and how my singing career was at the moment.

"Well, I did a video, which you've seen by now, for _Forever & Always_, and my boss wanted to get out a single before the movie, and though I got the time to record it the way my band and I liked it, it never got to him, he never approved it, and so it will be released in a few weeks," I started. "That being said, I'm not putting my career on hold so I can do movies and TV shows and stuff like that. Music is my passion, and acting is like a hobby to me. I've only ever done one movie, and that's not much experience. And, as much as I like Nicholas Sparks and Adriana Rodriguez, I don't want to be type-cast as the typical teenager in love. And most actresses get that to happen to them when they do movies like that to develop their acting skills. Let's face it, take Katniss Everdeen, for example. There's no way in hell I'd have the acting chops _right now_ to play her, no matter how much I wanted to, because there's that certain feeling underneath Katniss that has to be something natural, something that the actress develops over time, where she just _is_ the character, and she feels hunted, she feels oppressed, she feels like a part of the Games."

"Oh, yeah, you've been talking a lot about the _Hunger Games_ lately," the host commented.

"Yeah, a lot of people on Twitter are thinking it's because I want to play Katniss, you heard it here, I am not going to audition," I said. "And besides, every time I Tweet something, this site I follow on FaceBook posts it and people start commenting it's 'just that I want a serious acting job and I can't play it because I'm a soft fru-fru frilly bimbo down to the bone'." The audience looked appalled, some bemused. "That comment made me laugh. People can say whatever they want about me. I know as long as it's not true, and it doesn't affect me, then why should I care? This is someone who wants the movie cast correctly, in her eyes. It's just someone who cares a lot about the series, and they want it true to the books."

"But you look a bit like Katniss," he said.

"Only the hair," I said. "Katniss has olive skin, I have porcelain skin. Katniss has gray eyes, I have brown eyes. Katniss. . .she's a deep character. And right now, I couldn't do it."

"Well, I know those _Hunger Games_ fans can get a bit feisty, but isn't that part of the fun?" the host asked.

"I'm not going to put myself in a sort of competition against a girl who was nominated for an Academy Award, if she didn't win it, I didn't get a chance to watch the Oscar's," I said. "In my personal fantasy, I don't care that Hailee Steinfield is fourteen, she is , like, perfect, for Katniss. I can't see many actresses doing that part."

"Well, enough _Games_, what about your boyfriend, Logan?" he asked.

"He's. . .great," I said lamely. Even though I had been pretending to be head over freaking heels in love with him, the truth was, I had absolutely no idea who I loved anymore. Spending so much time with Logan made me like him like you love a brother, or a best guy friend. Spending so much time away from Jacob. . .made me miss him. Made me think of his soft, warm lips on mine, of the way he—ugh! And then the whole Edward situation, where he would just leave, out of nowhere, and I hadn't seen him since. . .the night of the Victoria news, I guess.

"There's got to be more," the host tried. "Details, details."

"Well, he's a gentleman, for one, which I love, and he respects me, and everything I say or do, which is good, and he's even going to read the Harry Potter books again for me," I said. Truthfully, I wasn't sure if Logan had ever actually read the Harry Potter books.

"Aw, that's so sweet," the host said. "And good, too, because after Bella performs her song for us, this needs some wrapping up to do." The camera, or whatever, clicked off and the host told me to go stand by the cordless mic. I stood and thought about what to sing. All the songs I usually sang have been sung so much, it wouldn't really be exciting for the audience if I sang it, and I couldn't sing anything new, Mr. Webber would kill me.

I turned on the mic and took a chance.

"Hey, guys," I said to the audience. The shouts and screams were surprising. "Hey," I laughed. "Okay, I don't know what to sing, so you guys tell me." There were unintelligible shouts, some that were too horridly hard for me to sing, and then the occasional good option. "How about—how about _Sparks Fly_ by Taylor Swift?"

The uproar for that was _huge_. I nodded and smiled. I told the guys how to play it and then the camera zoomed back in the guys began.

_The way you move is like a full-on rainstorm  
And I'm a house of cards  
You're the kind of reckless that you send me running  
But I kind of know that I won't get far_

_And you stood there in front of me just  
Close enough to touch  
Close enough to hope you couldn't see  
What I was thinking of_

_Drop everything now  
Meet me in the pouring rain  
Kiss me on the sidewalk  
Take away the pain  
Cause I see  
Sparks fly  
Whenever you smile  
Gimme with those green eyes  
Baby as the lights go down  
Gimme something that'll haunt me  
When you're not around  
Cause I see  
Sparks fly  
Whenever you smile_

. . . . . . . . . . .

Cameras flashed, I could see as much from the tinted windows of the limo. Fans were screaming like crazy, as if they knew this car was my car, and I would be in mere minutes walking out, in my beautiful green gown, to greet them, take pictures, sign autographs, and do interviews.

I was getting nervous, with barely anyone in the car but Angela. She was just excited to be plucked out of school and be flown to a full out New York City premiere. And on top of that, she was going to arrive with 'the star of the show'.

Let me explain. I got tickets to take anyone I wanted to the premiere. I had four, and then my own. Thing was, my mother is on her second honeymoon right now, and it seemed mean and childish to take her away from that so she could spend time being taken pictures of, with flashes that made her dizzy. Plus, she'd already seen the complete film anyways. Dad was. . .working. He'd politely refused, saying I should take friends and such, but most of my celebrity friends were already either invited or on tour or just couldn't make it. Selena couldn't make it, and Taylor said she was going to try her hardest. And then Alice. . . .I hadn't seen her since I took off for tour. I knew she was always there, but honestly, I hadn't seen her in so long, and if I wanted to invite her, I had to see her, didn't I? Jacob was with his wolf pack and he was working hard to keep me safe, so really, he couldn't come. And it wouldn't work with the whole 'Logan & Bella are dating' thing to invite Edward, and I haven't seen him since he left.

So what my publicist suggested was to make a contest on Twitter, where the fans sent videos and the three that I liked best got to go. A blond girl with green eyes who warped one of my songs into an 'I need to go so I can have a good day' parody won a ticket, an enthusiastic boy who blogged about Harry Potter, Adriana Rodriguez's books and The Hunger Games, and my own music at times, said he would love to get to go, but sooner he'd get an interview with Melissa Anelli. Then he got the interview and I felt compelled to get him a ticket. And a fan site owner won one, as she was going to do 'press' for the event, but wasn't going to get to watch the movie, and it was a very respectful site. They were going to sit next to me to watch the movie, as those were the tickets, but they hadn't wanted to walk the red carpet. Angela, however, loved to.

The roaring became louder and louder and louder until our driver said to open the door. Angela opened it a bit and the screaming began to honestly hurt my ears.

"Here goes everything," Angela said as she opened it whole and put her leg out, her pretty salmon pink gown-ish dress covering her legs. She stepped out, her silky soft dress draping over her figure perfectly, her long hair glinting her highlights, her glittery bracelet dancing in my eyes. She moved a bit and gave me some space.

I took a deep breath and stepped out. The screaming became deafening. I smiled, trying to look pleased. This _was_ pleasing, knowing so many people wanted to see the movie, but it was doing damage to my ears.

My dress was an emerald green color, with fabrics draping around the skirt, which reached my feet. It was a thin dress, not tight, but not oversized or poufy. The straps were off the shoulders, but secured, as they were heavy with some jewels, and there was a big jewel in the center, where both straps met. It was a beautiful dress, and I was so honored to be wearing something so freaking beautiful. The shoes weren't so high heeled, but they were perfect. And I was feeling slightly more confident, my heart beating a mile an hour, as I started walking.

Angela and I posed for some pictures together, and then she stood a bit off the side as I posed for pictures with my 'boyfriend' and my costars. Jennifer was wearing a pretty red dress, and Bridgit a nice gold-ish-looking number. Then Logan and I posed with Angela, and then with the director. Adriana (the author of the book) was there, too, in a pretty, age-appropriate dress. I mean, she wasn't twelve, but_come on_. She was wearing a pretty light blue dress with purple studded flats, and her hair and everything was just so freaking cute.

Then I signed autographs. All the fans there had something they wanted me to sign, and I did my best. I even signed a pair of glasses. Even a purple bow from Hot Topic.

Then we went inside. Of course, I'd seen the movie. I made it, I was there to do some voice-overs, and I did a lot of promo shots for it. But the movie was awesome. It was spectacular. If I hadn't known what was coming, I would probably have cried. As it is, Angela cried a bit, and she read the book.

At the after party, I met lots fans, press people, celebrities invited, and the fans who won the contest. I took pictures with them, but after that, everyone just let me sit at my table with Angela and talk.

And then a man walked up to us. He was wearing a nice suit, but he didn't look very fancy. He had big glasses and graying hair, and a stubble to add to the 'too cool to care' vibe he had going on. He held out his hand to me.

"My name's Mario Roberts, Miss Swan," he said.

"Call me Bella," I said. "This is my friend Angela."

"Hi," she said.

"Hello," Mario Roberts said. "May I sit? I was wondering if I could speak with you."

"Of course," I said as he took the seat across from me. "What about?"

"Your acting skills, honestly, were pretty good," he started, "in this movie. I'm creating a project right now, for an indie film, and we want someone like you."

**Sorry it's taken me so long. I promised I'd get you an update, but this is over nine thousand words, I hope you're happy. It's twenty-one pages in size eleven on my laptop. :) Review and Enjoy please. =Adriana**


	28. I am so sorry

I want to apologize to anyone who is disappointed by my lack of posting. I know that while it's no excuse that if I say 'Next chapter up soon!' and then don't post, and say 'Sorry, school's hard, I was sick, blah blah!' it still doesn't mean it's okay for me to not post in months. At the same time, I _do_ have a life. And if you want to know about it, follow me on Twitter, at adriswifty13 (obviously with an sign before it). There, that was my shameless plug.

Anyway, what I mean to say is, I want to apologize for leaving the story. I know how it ends, and I actually have a chapter (and a very good, and vital one) written out, and the following one half-way done on my laptop. But that's the thing, they're on my laptop. And my laptop doesn't have some program or whatever, so I couldn't directly post through it, and then I lost my USB drive (which, incidentally, got me in big trouble in school), and I couldn't get the files to another computer. And then I was so resolved on posting. So I open my laptop, I turn it on, and I put the password it, (or was until very recently), and I feel crushed when it tells me that's not the password.

I spent at least twenty minutes putting in passwords and getting rejects, and the darn computer wouldn't even give me the hint question.

I wrote it like three months ago, and I don't remember half the stuff in it anymore. All I remember is a dream and a vital phone call.

My dad's working on seeing if we can fix the problem, but in case we can't, if anyone wants to know what happens, PM me.

P.S. There are only the two chapters in the story left, and then the Epilogue. (:

-Adriana


	29. Chapter 28

**Hi. Sorry I take so long to update. I have a lot going on, emotionally and school work. AND I interviewed Melissa Anelli, who Potter fans will know. ;) **

**Those that read the last post know that my laptop was effed up. Well, now it's not. My amazing, beautiful, genius uncle fixed it, and though he will never read this, THANK YOU! Anyway, I'm so sorry for making you wait so long, and I'm every sorrier, because all you Team Edward peoples are gonna HATE me after this chapter. :S **

BPOV:

_"Your acting skills, honestly, were pretty good," he started, "in this movie. I'm creating a project right now, for an indie film, and we want someone like you."_

I stared in shock at Mario Roberts. I couldn't believe what he was saying. A movie deal? An indie film? It was perfect. Most of my new album was already done, and honestly, how long does it take to record? Not very much.

Angela, however, wasn't feeling as amazed.

"What kind of movie?" she asked him, her tone almost cold.

"It's a movie about a girl who sees her parents get killed, and she is affected so much she draws into herself, only talking to herself and her tutor when she didn't understand something. She goes to a boarding school and one day she stumbles into a corridor where she sees a mirror kind of like the Mirror of Erised from Harry Potter, except it shows you how to get what you want. She sees her parents, and it tells her she can do a complicated spell, and with the help of a warlock, she could bring her parents back. She finds said warlock on the outskirts of the school, in a little hut that used to be deserted, but he is amazed she can see him and agrees to help her. They do everything and get the spell going, but first she has to stand in front of the supernatural court and when she does, she realizes that it would be wrong to bring her parents back, not matter how much she misses them and she comes to terms with their death. The story ends with her riding in the car next to the aunt she shunned in the beginning, ready to start a new life," Mario finished.

"Quite a story you got there," I said. "Who wrote it?"

"My fourteen year old daughter came up with it, but I developed and wrote it as a screenplay, and she'll get credit in the movie credits," he answered. "Except she wanted the warlock to fall in love with her."

"Why'd you omit that?" I asked.

"The warlock's eight hundred years old," Mario deadpanned.

"But in the _Mortal Instruments_, Magnus is eight hundred years old and he goes out with Alec," Angela argued.

"He wasn't a normal human being, Alec, he was a Shadowhunter," Mario said.

"He was still _human_," she said. "And still, if the warlock didn't _look_ eight hundred, what does it matter?"

"That it wouldn't set such a nice example for teenagers," Mario said.

"Those vampire movies, where the girl marries the vampire and he's, what, a hundred and ten years old? _Good example_, isn't it?" Angela laughed.

"Shut up," I said. "Is there any romance in the movie, though, or just, like, magic and stuff?"

"There's a boy who takes an interest in your character, actually the warlock's apprentice, who your character likes, and would become her romantic interest if there was a sequel," Mario provided.

"Is there a story planned out for a sequel?" I asked.

"Basically, she has come to terms with the death of her parents, and she moves to California with her aunt, but there, she runs into the warlock's apprentice, who tells her there's a way to turn back time and make her life the way it had been a few months ago. She tells her no, but she hesitates, and though he's only trying to help, they stumble into the portal-ish thing and go back in time to a week before her parents died, and she spends days trying to stop it from happening, but in the end realizes she has to let go, and the warlock fixes the thing and they go back, where he comforts her until she falls asleep and wakes up in her bedroom at her aunt's house," Mario said.

"Sounds nice," I said. "But why do you want me to play the character? And what's her name?"

"Her name's Jade," Mario said. "I want you to play this character because even though she has blue eyes, we could use contacts or something, and anyway, you just have this subtle beauty and the way you try to hide the emotions the way the character would, and I like your speaking voice, and the way you downplay your looks and. . .well, the casting director has asked me to approach you for weeks, but now was when I got to do it."

"But why do you ask me?" I asked. "Ultimately, it's my manager who makes the decision."

"Because if you want to do the project, it's easier to persuade," Mario said. "So do you want to?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I plopped down on my bed and sighed. "ANGELA, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE KITCHEN! NO COFFEE!" I yelled.

I was so tired. Every bone in my body felt aching. My legs felt like jelly, and the dress that had fallen so gracefully on my body hours before now just felt like limp, heavy cloth that should be removed from my body. I kicked my heels off and took some pins out of my hair, then removed the ring and earrings and left them on the bedside table. I knew I had to get up and take the dress off, then hang it carefully on its' designer hook, but all I could think of in this moment was how damn heavy the jewels on the sleeves were.

Angela came in, her dress still looking perfect, and took one look at me. "I thought you said the press tour was tiring, but you never told me you ended up _this_ tired."

"In a press tour, I'm sitting down on a panel, with a glass of water, answering questions," I said. "At a premiere, incidentally my first, it's always walking, standing, waving, and praying someone doesn't get an embarrassing photo."

"Here, let me help you get the dress off," she offered. She set her glass of water down and helped me up, then turned me around and pulled the zipper down all the way to my butt. I felt an instant relief as the tightness of the dress around my back was released.

"Ahhh." I shrugged it off and laid it down on the bed, then looked for my pajamas. I changed and washed my face, then unzipped Angela's dress, which was longer than mine. She changed and laid down on her bed, put her hands up, cupping her face, and in minutes she was asleep. I wanted so badly for sleep to find me, just laying in my own bed, lights off, but sleep evaded me.

My mind was buzzing. Mario's offer was so damn good. Be in an independent film, with magic, depth and no teeny bopper lovey-dovey romantic chiz. And if he could persuade my manager to let me do it, it would be such a big opportunity. Casting directors would see me in a different way, not a girl who can play in love and sing and cry, but someone who is strong and graceful and skilled. And it would be so much fun to do that movie.

I'd told Mario, yes, I want to do this project. Because I do. And I'd say it a thousand times. But what if my manager didn't let me do the project? They'd already signed half the cast—the parents, the warlock, the aunt, the teachers, the warlock's apprentice, etc—and they only had to wait to get the lead actress to set a schedule to start filming. But if it filmed during the summer, it wouldn't affect tour, would it? After the next few weeks, my downtime from tour was over and I had to finish my cross-country tour, which would end mere days before the speculated release of the new album, which was early June.

But what if they thought I had to do press for the album and I couldn't film? Usually people like Selena, who were in movies and made CDs, had a schedule to fit making movies and press for other stuff, didn't they?

It was two in the morning here in New York, so it'd be eleven in L.A., where Selena had told me she was, so would she mind a phone call? I grabbed my phone and went to the hall, so as not to wake Angela.

"Bella?" Selena's voice asked. "Isn't it like two AM there? How was the premiere?"

"It was fun, but tiring," I said. "Something interesting happened, though." And I told her everything Mario offered me and what I thought.

"Look, your manager's only going to try and do what's best for you," she started. "And your publicist will want to expose you to the good media without it being over-exposure. They'll find a way to mix shooting with touring and everything else, and when the websites and magazines talk about it, they'll say you're a very busy girl dedicated to your fans. And this movie couldn't bring you any bad press, could it? It's not anything pornographic, sexual or involving any F-bombs, and it's not like you're playing some psycho chick who ends up killing everyone. And even if it _was_ that, if you were careful about it, or did a wonderfully terrific job, nobody would say it's bad."

"Thanks, Sel, that was very helpful," I said. "I'll tell you how everything goes later. I'm so busy with the press, I won't get to sit down with my manager and publicist, Mario and my dad before April." Selena laughed and we said our goodbyes. I drank a glass of water and went back to bed, glad that tomorrow's earliest interview was at three PM.I fell on my bed and gracefully found sleep.

Sleep brought dreams. Dreams of thoughts I'd been suppressing since Jacob left. Dreams of Jacob.

_In the dream, I was running through a forest towards a small hut, much like Hagrid's in the _Harry Potter_ movies. I was wearing a long blue gown, made for a princess, not a normal girl. I ran and ran, my feet nearly slipping on the wet, green grass, damp from rain that had come not long ago. I became aware I was not running alone. There was a gigantic wolf-shaped animal the size of a horse running beside me, the russet fur glinting in the sunlight. It noticed me staring and looked at me, and it's eyes startled me._

_They were _Jacob's_ eyes. The pretty eyes that always knew how to make me laugh, or make me feel better or comfort me when I cried. The pretty eyes that looked into mine before the boy they belonged to kissed me. _

_We continued running until we finally reached the hut and knocked on the door. A woman opened the door, took one look at me and gestured us to enter. Jacob, still in wolf form, put his head against my shoulder as I leaned against the wall. I sat on a chair and watched as he changed back to human, turning and pulling shorts on. I didn't glance that way, if you're wondering. I'm a—well, just a bit innocent. _

_The woman told us to wait shortly and Magnus and Effie would be with us shortly. I sat on a stool and Jacob grinned at me, touching my bare arm, his hand coming up to caress my face—_

_And I can't be thinking like this. Jacob is a friend. _

_But I enjoyed kissing him. And I'd been thinking a lot about him. And I was in this dream, with him. And I wanted him to cup my cheek with his over-heated hand and kiss me on the lips. _

_And just when Jacob was getting close to me, so close I would've pulled him to me if he'd been wearing a shirt, a dream version of Magnus Bane—of the _Mortal Instruments _books—and Effie Trinket—from the _Hunger Games _books—walked inside. Magnus was in bright colored leather pants, a see-through blue T-shirt and a bright red leather jacket, the breast pocket bejeweled with _MG. _Effie was in pink and green robes, her wig lilac and curled. She laughed the annoying _hem-hem_ giggle and Magnus rolled his eyes. "She likes to quote the Dolores character," Magnus said. _

_I nodded, laughing, and Magnus moved toward us. Closer still, until he was inches from me. His cat eyes were decked out in glitter, as described in the books, and he looked me up and down. Had this come from anyone, I would have slapped them. Or at least crossed my arms. But this was Magnus Bane, a gay warlock. The High Warlock of Brooklyn, actually. _

_"You are in love, I see that much," he said. I raised my eyebrows. "Isn't that why you're here? You're reading Katniss' story to escape your own. You once loved a handsome, if not sexy, vampire, but he's hurt you too badly, and even though you love him so, you love another soul as well."_

_"How can you know that?" I asked. "_I_ don't even know that."_

_"I see in your eyes what your mouth doesn't say," Magnus said simply. _

_"And I can clearly see why you like dear Katniss's story," Effie said. "It's quite inspiring, isn't it? The underdog, winning, and getting to keep her lover. . ."_

_"I like Peeta," I said. "Gale's too. . .war-ish. It's like he wants a war to happen and , like Jace, would be glad to kill himself trying to win."_

_"But Jace got through it and went off with Clary," Magnus said, a smile in his voice._

_"And we get to find out what happens next in a little while," I said. "Hey, do you know who is going to show up from Victorian London in New York in the new book?"_

_"Can't say anything," Magnus said. "Sorry."_

_"Dammit." He laughed. "Hey, how's Alec?"_

_"That would be giving away too much," Magnus said. _

_"Damn," I said. _

_"But, I promise you this, the next events taking place in your life will put you in danger, but they will be great, and they will either be your fall or your graceful upheaval," Magnus said. "You must be very careful what you choose, who you choose, and where you go."_

And with that, I started awake. I blinked sleep out of my eyes and looked around. Pale light was coming through the light curtains, and the bed next to mine was empty.

"Ang?" I called out.

"In the bathroom," she called back.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Whatever Magnus had meant about choosing correctly, it freaked me out. It could mean something as trivial as well as actually dangerous. And even though Magnus didn't actually tell the future in the books, dreams are subconscious thoughts, aren't they? So somewhere in my head, a little voice is going off, saying that I need to be very careful.

I took a shower and dressed in sweats, and then we got room service for breakfast. We ate quickly, and then my prep team, as Angela calls them, got here. They made me wash my hair, then dried and curled it. They showed me the outfit I was wearing to the interview—a soft mint green off-the-shoulders shirt with white designs on it and white skinny jeans, with black heels with a flower in each—and started working on Angela.

The reason they were prepping up Angela too was because I was allowed to bring a guest to the interview, and Angela was perfect. She was going to be wearing a light pink loose blouse and dark skinny jeans, with white flats, and a silver necklace around her neck.

We finished getting ready and got in the car, rode to the building and got out. Paparazzi were taking a bunch of pictures, and while some people on my team were trying to get us through the door, Angela and I were smiling small smiles and waving. We finally got through the door and were skittered off to a dressing room, where a guy told us to wait until the host was ready.

"This is _so cool_," Angela said.

"I would say you get used to it, but you don't," I said, laughing.

"And look at this couch!" she squealed. "It looks so comfy!" She threw herself on the couch and giggled. She looked up and saw my expression. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," I said. "I had a weird dream last night, and it freaked me out."

"Well, what happened?" Angela asked.

"Jacob and I went inside a hut-ish house and Magnus Bane and Effie Trinket came in and told me to be careful with my choices," I said.

There was a silence. "If you _weren't_ freaked out by that, it would be unnatural."

"I know, but I can't help but think it's important," I said. "Dreams are subconscious thoughts. What if. . .? I don't know."

Angela opened her mouth to say something, but there was a rapid tapping on the door. "Yes?"

A big, burly man opened the door. "Ms. Swan and Ms. Webber?" We nodded. "Come with me, please."

We followed him through some corridors and a door and found ourselves on the set. The host waved across the room to us. We smiled. A guy wearing a headset came in and secured mini mics on our shirts and told us where we were going to sit. Then a woman wearing a blue blouse and gray pants and a headset walked up to us.

"Hi girls," she said. "Okay, first, we're going to give each of you a little intro and we're going to play a clip of one of Bella's songs, and you'll come in and sit, and then we'll introduce your friend and she'll come in and sit. Okay?" We nodded. "Okay." She pointed for us to stand on the left side of the stage and walked off.

"What am I allowed to say?" Angela asked me as we crossed the stage.

"Nothing about Edward, Mike or Jacob that is too personal or romantic," I whispered automatically. "I'm supposed to be dating Logan now, and it wouldn't be fair to him to be talking about boys that liked me on the show." She nodded. "That, and the depression I had and that time I ran off during Spring, when I ran off to Arizona."

"But I can say you were clumsy and smart and sweet?" she asked.

"Totally," I said.

In no time the camera man was zooming in on the host at his desk.

"And today we bring you an interview with the girl of the hour, Bella Swan," he said. "Bella's an upcoming pop star, and she's just premiered her new movie, starring along side with boyfriend Logan Lerman. Today we bring you an exclusive interview with her, and her best friend, Angela Webber. Here they come."

A bit of _Until You're Mine_ played while I came in, waving, and sat down on one side of the couch, closest to the host. Then Angela came in, blushing and smiling, waving, and sat beside me.

"And here we have Bella Swan—" I waved, "—and her friend Angela Webber—" Angela waved. "So, girls, you two went to the premiere last night, right?" We nodded. "How was that?"

"I think, even though I've been on the red carpet before, my God, that was an experience," I said. "It was crazy. People taking pictures, people asking to sign stuff, and it was actually really good to be there and share this experience with Angela."

"And for you?" the host asked Angela.

"I—wow, I don't know how celebrities do it," she said. "In the car, I was like 'Oh, yeah, I'm going to Bella Swan's premiere, I'm so cool, this is awesome, I'm so popular now,' and then we got out of the car, and I heard all that screaming, and I freaked out. It's like, crazy, I don't know how some people get used to it, it's insane. People are always taking pictures and you have to make sure—ooh, but it was fun."

"So it was quite an experience for you," the host said.

"Yes," Angela said, laughing. "I'm sure it's something I'll _never_ forget."

"And so you've never been to anything like that?" the host asked. "Bella's never taken you anywhere?" This question could be leading up to dangerous territory. I can see the headlines now. Angela, _please_ give the right answer.

"Well, it's not that she's never offered to take me places," Angela said. I sighed internally. "It's just that for every event, I always have something else that's important. Like for that Christmas party, I was with my family, and for all the awards shows, I've been in school."

"And would you say Bella's a good best friend?" the host asked. I looked at him.

"She's an amazing friend," Angela said. "She calls me all the time, we tell each other everything, and she gives me great advice. For example, a few weeks ago, I told my then-boyfriend that Bella had invited me to her premiere, and he asked to come along. I told him Bella only had the one ticket, and he told me he'd dump me if I didn't get him a ticket. And I asked Bella for advice, and she told me most likely he was a gold digger and I should break up with him if he hurt me. I stood and looked out the window, and he was telling his friend how big of a loser and a fool I was and how hot another girl was and how good a kisser she was. And I dumped him."

"And Bella, do you feel Angela has been a good friend to you?" the host asked. Angela smiled at me.

"Definitively," I said. "She was one of the first friends I made when I got to Forks, and she was always nice to me, and she always helped me. She was really supportive of this whole thing, and she's very enthusiastic about meeting new people. And she's not the kind of person who's just hanging out with me because I'm famous. I know that, and I'm very thankful to have such a good friend like her. And even though we're almost always in different states, she's always in my heart."

"And can you guys share any thoughts on what you were like, say, two years ago?" the host asked.

"Well, Bella was really shy when she came to school, but people befriended her really fast," Angela said. "She was really sweet, and nice and smart, and she was supportive as anyone could be. And she was just a really good friend."

"And Angela was shy, too," I said. She looked at me scornfully. "You _were_! And then you started loosening up and we became really good friends. And then this whole thing happened, and she just looked at it like an opportunity to travel a lot to see me, and something that had been waiting to happen to me. She was always the nicest person I met in Forks High School."

"Aww," the host said. "Aren't you two just the cutest?" We laughed. "And we'll be back with two of America's cutest young ladies after this commercial break." The camera zoomed out and Angela looked at me.

"How was I?" she asked.

"Perfect," I said.

"Girls," the host said. "Even though there's no audience, we got a deal where Bella here would sing a song, and it would be so cute if you guys sang it together." Angela smiled and looked at me through her lashes.

"Which one do you want to sing?" I asked, playfully exasperated.

"_I'm Only Me When I'm With You_!" she squealed.

"Ooh, good choice," I said. "I don't think I've ever sung that on TV before. . ."

"Also, we want to talk about your boyfriend, and would it be okay if we got personal about your ex?" the host asked. I blushed. "It's for the fans. It's not like you're going to tell us anything you don't want the fans to hear. It's not necessary." I exhaled. "And if you could tell us a bit about your new album."

"Sure," I said. "But I need to call my manager to ask about something first."

"Make it quick," the host said. "We go live in a minute."

I got my phone and dialed my manager's number, urging him mentally to pick up. "Pick up, pick up!"

"Bella, aren't you on TV right now?" he answered.

"Commercial break," I said. "I gotta make it quick. Did Mario What's-His-Name call you about an indie movie deal thing?"

"Yes, actually, a few minutes ago," he said. "He said you wanted to do it."

"And I do," I said. "Can I announce that we've got that in the works?"

"It's a bit early, but if we're going to be closing a deal soon, then I guess so," he said.

"Thanks! And can I say something about _The Hunger Games_?" I asked.

"Whatever you want the fans to know," he said.

"AND WE ARE LIVE IN THIRTY SECONDS!" someone yelled.

"Gotta go," I said quickly. "TTYL, bye!"

I hung up and put my phone in my pocket just as the camera zoomed back in.

"Okay, Bella, so let's get to the good stuff," the host said. "What's up with you and Logan?"

"He's a really sweet guy, and we're going out," I said. "We've been spending a lot of time together, and things just kind of happened."

"Details, that's what the fans want," the host said. "So, is he a good kisser?"

The first time I'd kissed Logan, it was for a scene in the movie, and every other time that hadn't been for the movie, it had all been for the cameras, for show. For press. But had I enjoyed it? Was he a good kisser?

"Yeah," I said, blushing my cheeks off.

"And did you know him from before?" the host asked.

"I met him officially on the set, but I saw him once before at an awards show," I said. "I never thought he'd notice me, much less like me."

"And has it been a good relationship?" he asked.

"Most relationships only happen because the two people were friends first," I said. "Some of them don't, but most of the long-lasting relationships do. Because you're already comfortable with this person, you already know what they like, there's not awkwardness. And that's how it was for me and Logan. We were friends, and one day it turned into something more."

"Is he the reason why you dumped your ex, Edward?" he asked.

"I want to get this message clear, I am not using Logan as a rebound, I truly love him," I said. "That being said, Edward left with no explanation, no goodbye, and I'd begun to lose some of those feelings, and I broke up with him because I wasn't feeling much anymore, and I was hurt over what he did, and Logan was always there for me, and that was when I realized, I loved him."

"And what about your friend Jacob? Can you tell us anything about Jacob?" he asked.

"Jacob's my best guy friend, and he's the nicest, sweetest guy I know, and I haven't talked to him in a while because I know he's really busy, but he knows he can call me any time, whenever he wants," I said, hoping Jake would see and know that I miss him.

"And now what about your new album?" the host asked.

"We've got some songs worked out, some not so much, but we hope to release it sometime before summer, or maybe during summer," I said. "With it, I want to show that even though this past year has matured me a bit, I'm still me, a shy girl from a tiny town."

"Not so shy anymore, though, are you?" the host asked. I laughed.

"Actually, I've grown into my skin a little bit more," I said. "I'm more confident now, and I'm a lot more sure of myself than I was a year and a half ago."

"It's true," Angela said. I laughed.

"And I kind of have an exclusive for you guys," I said. "Yesterday, a certain movie maker came up to me with a movie offer, and we're working it out."

"So you're making another movie?" the host asked.

"Possibly," I said. "And I shouldn't really say anything, but from what I know, it's going to be _really_ good." I smiled coyly.

"All the _Hunger Games_ rumors. . . Can you say anything, now that Jennifer Lawrence has been cast?" the host said.

"I remember saying this several times—I did not audition. But even though I haven't seen her act—wait, Katniss was cast! Ooh, this is news for me!" I squealed. "Angela, get me Mockingjay dot net on my cell!"

"And apparently, with that reaction, we're taking a break, and when we come back, Angela and Bella are going to sing a surprise song," the host said.

The camera panned out and the crew showed Angela and me to a platform. There were two microphones, and they gave us an earpiece and told us to get ready. I breathed deeply and noticed Angela's legs shaking.

"Nervous?" I asked her.

"I've never sung before. . .in front of people, and it's like. . .I can't sing, Bella," Angela stuttered.

"You have a really nice voice, Ang, and it doesn't matter if we sing badly, it's just for fun," I said. "It's supposed to be a touching thing, to show we're just people, not that we're perfect."

"And in three, two, one!" a guy yelled.

"And here are Bella Swan and Angela Webber, singing Bella's hit _I'm Only Me When I'm With You_," the host announced.

The music started and I began dancing around, bumping my hip with Angela's to get her to loosen up.

_Friday night beneath the stars  
Any feel behind your yard  
You and I are painting pictures in the sky_

Angela began to dance and move around with me, singing, and her voice was lovely and sweet as honey.

_Sometimes we don't say a thing  
Just listen to the crickets sing  
Everything I need is right here by my side  
And I know everything about you  
I don't wanna live without you_

_I'm only up when you're not down  
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground  
It's like no matter what I do  
Well, you drive me crazy half the time  
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that  
What I feel is true  
And I'm only me when I'm with you_

_Just two small town little girls  
Living in a crazy world  
Trying to figure out what is and isn't true_

_And I don't try to hide my tears  
My secrets or my deepest fears  
Through it all nobody gets me like you do  
And you know everything about me  
You say that you can't live without me_

_I'm only up when you're not down  
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground  
It's like no matter what I do  
Well, you drive me crazy half the time  
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that  
What I feel is true  
And I'm only me when I'm with you_

_When I'm with anybody else  
It's so hard to be myself  
And only you can tell_

_That I'm only up when you're not down  
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground  
It's like no matter what I do  
Well, you drive me crazy half the time  
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that  
What I feel is true  
And I'm only me  
No, I wanna be  
When I'm only me when I'm with you_

_With you  
Ohh yeah_

And we said goodbye and the camera zoomed out. And our team was ushering us out, getting us into the car and getting us to our hotel. All through this, my phone kept buzzing with messages that I would later learn to be Alice's, telling me that Victoria's army had been minimized from twenty two newborns to seven, all by wolves. But when I tried to contact her again, she wouldn't answer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It had been a few weeks since the premiere, and the movie was doing pretty good in the box office. But right now, I was in a meeting with the people for Mario's movie offer and my managers and publicist and everyone. They were negotiating contracts and time schedules and everything.

My manager and Mario's people shook hands and everyone shook hands with me, and congratulated me and thanked me. They slowly trickled out of the room until the door shut closed behind the last man in a monkey suit.

"So when do we start filming?" I asked.

"May twenty-first," my manager said. "Your album is coming out a few weeks after you're done filming, which will be around September, depending on how well the blowing up of the warlock's house turns out."

"Seriously?" I asked. "I'm going to be filming _all summer_?"

"You wanted to do this movie," he said. "By the way, they haven't casted many actors for this. Only you, your parents and the young warlock apprentice."

"And when am I getting the finished script?" I asked. "I read a draft, but they told me they changed something."

"Next week," he answered. "Now go and rest, tomorrow we're booking a press conference so you can talk about the deal and the movie."

I nodded and walked out of the office. I got in my car and drove home, then called Angela.

"What's up, Bells?" she asked in a hushed tone.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"Computer lab," she said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'll call you later," I said. I hung up.

I lay on my bed, bored out of my mind.

What to do? What to do? I didn't have anything to read, my TV service was down for the week to install a new TV, I didn't have any movies, Tweeting about anything would not be very wise, and I only had one song to write for the new album, and I didn't have anyone to talk to because Logan was off rehearsing a new part for a movie. But. . .Tweeting pictures and thanks and things wouldn't be such a bad idea, especially when so bored, would it?

I got my laptop and started Tweeting random stuff.

'soo bored at home (: well, how about answering some Twitter questions..?'

The fans started Tweeting questions at me and I answered what I could, for about fifteen minutes, and then said I'd stop. Then I Tweeted other stuff.

'should I dye my hair a lighter color..? or should I cut it..? I want a new look.. (:'

Fans responded to that saying it would be a cool look, maybe an inch or two shorter, some that I should chop it in layers, others saying to leave it the way it is. Then I start Tweeting pictures of the Harry Potter Weekend on ABC Family. The randomness turns into a nap and when I wake up, I have two missed calls from Angela and three missed calls from a number I don't recognize, and I'm hungry as hell and it's only two in the afternoon.

My phone began ringing again. I answered.

"Hi, who is this?" I asked.

"It's Jake," Jacob's husky voice said.

"JACOB!" I yelled. He laughed, complaining about my loudness. "What's up? What have you been doing for two months?"

"Bella, man, I've missed you," Jake said. "I got the pack together and we started hunting the bloodsuckers here. Then we went to L.A. to find the bloodsuckers there and we attacked them. Then we had to rest because they put up a strong fight and we had a few broken bones."

"But you're alright now?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course," he said. "But I called because Seth showed me that interview you did with Angela where you said that stuff about me, and I wanted to call you."

"Oh, my gosh, you could not have called at a better time," I said. "Do you want to come over and hang out?"

"Unless you're in Forks, then I can't," he said. "We're all at home resting. We're spending some downtime. We're coming to L.A. next month with more help to finish off that army."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"But you can call whenever you want," he said.

"But next month I'll be in rehearsal for a movie I'm doing. I won't be able to see you," I said.

"Bells, there's nothing I can do about it," he said. "I have special orders not to leave my place until Sam says so."

"Alright," I said. "I guess I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, then bye," he said. I said goodbye and hung up.

The next month was going to be the most boring month of my life. I had no friends to hang out with, no music to record, hardly any photo shoots or press conferences, and no one was around to hang out. What the hell am I going to do for the next few weeks?

It wasn't late, and I _did_ need a new haircut.

I changed into a sundress and sandals, put on a cardigan over the lilac and blue flower print dress and grabbed my purse. I went to my hair salon and asked if Shirley was available. They told me she was dyeing someone's hair and would be done in twenty to twenty-five and ready for me. I sat, my hair in a high ponytail and huge sunglasses over my eyes. This salon was a really popular amongst teenagers, and the first time I came here to get Angela some highlights the girls here did not leave me alone until I left. It wasn't annoying, but when I wanted peace and quiet, squealing girls weren't ideal. I grabbed Seventeen magazine and waited until my name was called. Or rather, the name I put down that they knew was me.

"Isabella," Meg, the receptionist, called out.

I stood and walked over to Shirley's chair and only took off my sunglasses after my back was to the front of the store.

"So, Is, what do you want?" Shirley asked. I could see her small smile in the mirror. She loved cutting my thick hair, hers being so thin and straight. She had long, straight red hair and clear blue eyes.

"Hey, Shirley," I said. "I don't know. Cut my bangs short again, I guess, and my hair. . .instead of so perfect-looking, cut it in jagged, crazy layers? I don't know. Would that look good?"

"I think it'd look pretty awesome," she said. "And since you're getting a new part and making a new movie, and you've got a bunch of stuff going on soon, and you want a new look, right?"

"Actually, I'm bored out of my mind," I said. "But that sounds like a valuable enough reason." She laughed. I smiled.

"How about some highlights?" she asked.

"Nah," I decided. "That's not me."

"Okay, whatever you say," she said. "I still sustain that they would look freaking amazing on you."

The next hour was a blur of hair washing, hair clipping, blow drying and straightening. My bangs looked like Vanessa Hudgens's in _Beastly_, my hair looked straight and clipped and freaking awesome, and I loved it. I thanked Shirley for working her magic and put my sunglasses back on. I paid and went home and turned on the TV. I put _Back to the Future _on the background and got my laptop. I opened Twitter.

'got a new haaaiiircuuuuut (: …. Will tweet pictures later'

The fans went _crazy_. Some with hate, others wanting pictures. I took a picture with my webcam and posted it. I took several pictures and posted them. Within twenty minutes, MTV, Entertainment Weekly, BOP, Yahoo!, MSN and all the other big news sites had the pictures and made up hilarious stories as to why I cut my hair. The closest one was that it was for the part. I Tweeted,

'I cut my hair cuz I wanted a new look. I've had the same haircut for almost a year. Gosh, gimme a frikin break… -.-'

I closed my laptop and fell asleep watching the movie. Unlike last time, I didn't have any crazy, kooky dreams. I had a single thing happen.

I stood in a white sundress, barefoot, in an empty white space. But it was not me. Not how I was or looked now anyways. I noticed I had a slight hunch in my shoulders, or rather the way I held them, that reminded me of how I felt on my first day in Forks High. My hair was the same shade, length and style—which was nothing, just straight, no bangs—and my expression was the same—guarded, careful and scared of being unaccepted. My skin was paler than it was now, my nails unpainted, my face clear and not hidden by bangs or hair. I was a totally different me.

"All I wanted was to be happy," the dream-me said.

"I _am_ happy!" I told my dream self.

"Not really," the dream-me said. "Not right now. You're sick of Hollywood. You just want Edward. Just like I do."

I didn't know how to respond to that. How can you love someone you haven't seen or talked to in months, who is not honest with you, who is so overprotective he thinks he controls you and who does not answer you when you call? Do I really still love Edward?

**DUN DUN DUNNN..! What do you think will happen? I swear, I'll try to post the next chapter as soon as I possibly can. Most of it is already written on my laptop, and since I'm putting a password I know, it won't be a problem. Anyway, any Potter fans here that are so into it they know what Team StarKid is? Or watch Glee? Or know what LeakyCon is? If you do, then please tell me. **

**Also, you can follow my Potter & random Tweets at adriswifty13 (with the sign before). And you can follow Bella's Tweets at bellabooboto with the sign before. **

**-Love, Adriana**


	30. Chapter 29

_Do I really still love Edward?_

"No," I told dream-me. "I've changed. I'm not the scared, shy and overly self-conscious girl I was two years ago. And you know what? I don't love Edward anymore. He left you to protect you. He left me because he couldn't bear to see me as I protected myself. I've changed. And Hollywood, has changed me, sure, but in a good way. I'm confident, and I realized, if you're in love with someone, and you fall in love with someone else, go with the second person, because there was a reason you fell in love with them. The other person was not for you. I'm in love with Jacob. And I wouldn't have fallen in love with him if there was nothing wrong with Edward."

"But you still love Edward," dream-me said. "I'm you, I know what you're feeling. You don't love Jacob as much as you love Edward."

"But I will," I said. "With Edward, it was too sudden, too fast. With Jacob, there's been a reason. Edward's not there for me. He likes to take care of me, likes the damsel in distress part of me, likes to save me and to have me be a weak girl, from his time. His little doll, who looks pretty but can't do anything by herself. Jacob knows I'm strong enough to hear the news, strong enough to take him on, and strong enough to leave him if I have to, and I know he'll take care of me."

"But Edward will take care of you for eternity," dream-me said.

"But eternity isn't for humans, and I'm a regular human," I said. "Yeah, I said I wanted to be with him forever, but I only thought I did. I don't want to live forever. I want to live my life once, in one lifetime, not ten."

"Then I guess you should call and tell Edward," dream-me said.

"How?" I asked. "He hasn't been answering any calls or texts, and neither has Alice."

"He'll answer this time," dream-me said. "By the way, you should know, when a vampire falls in love, it's forever. He'll never forget you. He'll love you until he dies."

"He screwed up," I said. "He ruined everything. Twice. Once, I took him back. Everyone deserves second chances, but then he does almost the same thing again. It's not fair to me."

"Call him and tell him that. Now." And then the dream faded and I woke with a start.

"Damn," I muttered.

Should I call now? Or should I wait till the morning? I mean, it's not like he'll mind, he doesn't sleep, after all, but isn't it rude to call at three in the morning? But why should I care about that. I needed to get this off my chest.

I yawned and my eyelids drooped. Maybe I should save this for the morning.

I fell asleep, and though it was eight more hours, it felt like ten minutes. I got out of bed and made myself some breakfast, showered, made sure my phone was in my purse, looked in the mirror to see if I looked presentable in my jeans and strapless flower print shirt. I got in my car and drove to the park, parking and sitting on a bench.

It was eleven in the morning on a Tuesday, and normally this park was deserted anyways, so I took out my phone and used all the courage I had in me and pressed SEND on Edward's number. As always, the phone rang and rang and rang and rang, until—unexpectedly—a voice answered.

"Bella?" Edward's voice asked, soft like velvet.

"H—hi, Edward," I said. I took a breath. "I really need to say something to you, something really important. And it can't wait until you decide to come back to visit."

"I wanted to come back," he said. "And I know you're angry—"

"I'm not angry," I said. "We're—honestly, this is very hard for me—but we're completely done. I don't want to see you again. Don't ask me to give you a second chance. You blew it. You had your second chance, and you went and left again. I can't be with someone like that, not now, not ever."

"But, Bella—"

"But, Bella, nothing. Alice said it was going to be a two-week visit, tops," I said. "It's been two months. And sure, I've been traveling, but I've called you like a million times. You couldn't talk? I sent a billion text messages. I love you, and I have for two years, but you had your chance, you had a second chance, and you lied to me, I didn't know where you were, and you ruined everything. Twice." I heard him suck in an unnecessary breath. "I don't want to see you again. I don't want to be a part of your world. I don't want any part or anything to do with you. I just need to be. . .left alone. I didn't belong in the monster world you introduced me to. And I'm leaving it."

"Bella," he said. "I know you hate my world. I know what I've done to you, over and over again, is never going to be something I can make up for, but how do you think it's been, knowing I can't tell you I love you anymore because you're with your costar?"

"It's for _show_!" I said, indignant. "That's what it is. I can't say no to that. It's not my choice. I just follow the rules set up for me. I can't do anything about it."

"Yes, you could," he said. "You could've said no."

"No. It's the other way around." I was really angry now. He was blaming me. I wasn't the one who ran away. "You shouldn't have left. You should've said no. You should've come home. You should've though twice before you let it all go. And I should've been there, not in the back of your mind."

"You think I _wanted_ to leave?" he asked.

"Sure seemed like it," I said.

"Well, I regret it." I couldn't help glaring at the sidewalk in front of me. "It wasn't that I wanted to. But I had to."

"Why?"

"I can't tell you," he said.

"If you can't be honest with me, you can't even leave me to protect myself, and you can't even trust me, I'm done. Completely done. Forever. Goodbye." I hung up and threw the phone in my purse angrily. Then I looked around to see if anyone was there. Anyone hearing this argument and knowing who I was would mean big trouble for me. There was no one around, thank God. I stood and walked to the edge of a pond and sat. Tears stung in my eyes.

This was it. If Edward was smart, he would know not to come near me. It wasn't like last time, when he decided to leave and I put all my energy into hoping one day he'd come back. This was different. He left, and he blew it. He lost me. I still loved him, but time heals everything. The last time, I had not allowed myself to heal, but now it wasn't just healing for me, I was healing for the media, for the fans and for my name. My name was what made me who I was in this industry, and if Bella Swan looked sick, this not only affected her, it affected the producers of the movie, Logan Lerman, all of Bella's friends and her work. Bella Swan had to be strong. And rightly, she would be.

I cried behind my shades, letting the tears fall down my face, my back to the world.

God knows I cried when Edward left all that time ago, but I didn't cry enough. I tried to be strong for Charlie, for my mother and for my self. Because if I was not strong, if I didn't pretend I could take it, I would crumble down, my father would send me to live with my mother, and my mother would not know how to deal with me so I would be sent to a psychiatrist. And then I had stopped reacting. I'd stopped caring. But I'd been nursing a wound that hadn't gone away. And it never would. I would never forget Edward. And I cried harder and harder, knowing that now I had to go on, knowing it was _my_ fault this time.

When the families started arriving for picnics and days at the park, I stood, and wiped my eyes free of tears with my hand. I walked to my car and drove to a full parking lot and parked. I pulled down the mirror and looked at my reflection. My eyes looked hollow, dark underneath, and my face was dried with tears. I looked pale. Paler than I usually looked in L.A. That kind of paleness you get when you cry, because you feel so young and alone? That's what I looked like.

I took out some powder and cover-up and made myself pretty enough again and drove to Maggie Moo's. I ate a big, cappuccino-brownie-caramel-almond thing, then posed for some pictures with some fans. They said thanks and I went back to my car. I thought about getting a book, but _City of Fallen Angels_ didn't come out for two more weeks, and since the Border's stores were closing, the distributors didn't have all the Sarah Dessen books, which I wanted to read. Discouraged, I went home.

I didn't go online for Twitter, my personal Facebook or to check gossip sites. I checked my e-mail. For the first time in History, I had a reply from Alice.

_Bella, I know the dream you had this morning. I know what you're going to do. Please at least let him explain. Honestly, I understand (or I think I do) why you're doing this, but give him a chance. He deserves that, doesn't he? –Alice. _

I answered her e-mail with the same thoughts I was repeating over and over like a mantra.

_Alice, I gave him a chance. December and January was his chance. He left. Again. I can't do this to myself. And I don't think you fully understand. I know for vampires when you love, it's forever, but just think, if Jasper left you and you still loved him, you'd wait for him. Let's say he came back and you loved each other the same, but then he left again, this time with no explanation, no nothing. He had his chance. He blew it. If you fall in love with two people, you choose the second person, because there's a reason you fell for them. The first person wasn't right for you. I fell in love with Jacob. And if Edward was the absolute perfect one person that was for me, I wouldn't love Jacob. I mean, I love Edward too, and I'll never forget him, but I will love Jacob as I loved Edward. And who knows, maybe after Jacob I'll love someone else. That's the thing about being human, there are possibilities. I don't want to be with Edward forever, be the same person forever. I want to be as normal as I can be. And I'm sorry. And tell Edward I'm sorry, too. –Bella._

I sent the e-mail and opened another one from someone I didn't recognize.

_Easy come, easy go  
That's just how you live, oh  
Take, take, take all, but you never give  
Should've known you was trouble  
From the first kiss, had your eyes wide open  
Why were they open_

_Gave you all I had  
And you tossed it in the trash  
Tossed it in the trash, you did_

_To give me all your love  
Is all I ever ask cause  
What you don't understand is_

_I'll catch a grenade for ya  
I'll throw my hand on a blade for ya  
I'll jump in front of a train for ya  
You know I'd do anything for ya  
I would go through all this pain  
Take a bullet straight through my brain  
But you won't do the same_

_-I'll never forget you. (EAMC)_

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. He sent me some of the lyrics from _Grenade_ by Bruno Mars. I know somehow, somewhere, he's there, knowing he's making me sob myself dry. Tears were in my eyes. I didn't throw his love in the trash, and sure my eyes were open when we kissed because I was shocked, I wasn't expecting it, and it was like half a second, right? And, again, how the hell would he know my eyes were open unless _his_ were open.

I considered replying, but I just closed the e-mail. I wanted to drown myself in other people's problems, not my own. So I went to a fan fiction website. I found a promising, long, funny Harry Potter fan fiction and started reading. They were about fifty chapters in all, and they were all quite long, with amazing jokes and a pretty hilarious plot line. **(AN: I'm making a reference to the Harry Potter fanfic 'Oh God, Not Again!', which is one of the very few HP fics I've had the patience to read, and it's pretty funny. For the HP fans who _HAVE READ THE BOOKS_, I highly recommend it. For anyone, really, but it's got a bunch of spoilers.) **

It features Harry as a twenty-three year old dude, I believe, and he somehow goes back in time by dreaming of the Veil..? And he starts at Hogwarts as an eleven-year-old again, but with all the knowledge he has. It's quite funny, and I entertained myself for a few hours until I noticed it was dark out and I was starving. I started heating some frozen pizza and checked my e-mail again. Another one from Alice.

_Bella, Edward asks if you saw the e-mail he sent you. I'm sorry. He also says to see the video and watch until the end and say what you think. I know he's being very hateful, but you WERE his—in his point of view—only reason for living. I know all your points are really, quite valid, but Esme in particular asks for you to please listen to him. He's threatened to go to Italy. You know what that means, am I correct? I need you to understand what he did. I'm—we're—not asking you to go running back to him, because we all know what it's like to be hurt, but we all ask to please listen. He's been a lonely man for so long, and seeing him like this is only worse. Bella. Please. –Alice. _

I gave in and dialed, but I chickened out. So I went and ate and took a shower. I tried calling again.

"Bella?" Alice's voice asked.

"Yeah," I said awkwardly. "Hi."

"Hey," she said. "I'll get Edward, he's still around." I could hear the glare she would be giving me clearly enough. She may be one of my best friends, but she's also Edward's sister. And she probably cares more about him than about me. And for good reason, too, I guess.

"Hello, Bella?" Edward's voice asked.

"Hi," I said. I was so nervous my breath was hitching.

"I need to tell you, just like you needed to tell me, something very important," he said. "It's about why I left." There was a pause. He sighed. "Somehow, the Volturi got suspicious about us. I think it was maybe all the media coverage you were getting with Alice and me, or the press, or someone told them, but they thought maybe you knew something about vampires and they sent a messenger to tell us they would be coming to us soon and we all had to be there. I went ahead because Carlisle asked for me, and Alice stayed a little bit longer to protect you, but then she had to leave. We knew you'd be well enough protected. And then the Volturi came and said you had to be here, too. We told them you knew nothing about us, and bringing you here would go against the rule. They tried several ways to see if we would let something slip, because they didn't completely believe us, but after a week they left, saying they'd be back soon to see if anything had changed. And they said if you ever knew, you had to be Turned into one of us. That's why I haven't come back. And that's why I didn't fight you on breaking things off. I don't want you to be one of us."

"But you knew. . .?" I asked.

"Knew what?" he asked.

"Knew that the Volturi were coming, that you wouldn't be back in a while, that you were in danger?"

A long silence. ". . .Yes, I knew."

"And _that's _where you went wrong," I said. "I understand. I would have understood, _had you told me._ But if you don't tell me you have to leave to protect your family and yourself, how am I to know you're not just going off to Rio or something? I don't want to be one of you anymore. I don't want to speak to you anymore. I don't want to see you anymore. I'm sorry."

"Bella. . ."

"Don't go off to the Volturi and tell them you want to die, because that's just a waste," I said. "You could do so much, and you could be with someone who deserves you. Now, goodbye."

I tapped the red button and let the phone drop on my bed. The realization of what I have done hit me with so much force, it knocked the breath out of me. I leaned face-down on my bed and let the tears flow freely. I tried telling myself this had been my choice, but the tears would not stop.

At some point in the night, I got up and washed my face, got my laptop and opened Twitter. Instead of Tweeting anything, I went to the 'Mentions' section of the Home page. So many fans had -replied me.

-bellabooboto you are such an inspiration.. keep on rockin'  
-bellabooboto you taught me to believe in myself. I 3 you :')  
-bellabooboto if I ever got to meet you, I'd let you know how much you have influenced me 3  
-bellabooboto you are so cool and amazing, it's hard to believe you're so down2earth.. love u!

I know it sounds super mega cheesy to say, but the fans' Tweets made me feel a bit better. I didn't want to Tweet anything, but one particular Tweet caught my eye.

-bellabooboto u like HP, rite? Check out on youtube the very potter musical. AWESOMENESS.

I looked it up, and honestly, the humor that only book fans understand made me chuckle so much. I fell asleep around two in the morning, but I was so emotionally drained I didn't wake until midday.

I checked Twitter again. I replied to the person who told me to check the musical, thanking them for humor during a hard time, and closed my laptop.

Still, the enormity of what I had done in the past twenty-four hours was shocking. The thing was, when he first left, I thought he would never come back. But it was my safety blanket. He was a safe zone for me, because no matter what happened, he had been real in my life, and it didn't matter that he left, he had changed me, and that change was there. When he came back, I had changed into a different person, but he was my safety blanket, and blankets are made to accommodate you, and so I thought he'd grow used to the new me. When he left the second time, I didn't think it was permanent. He was still a safety blanket. Until now, when the possibility was gone.

Eventually, I showered, and my phone ringing distracted me from pulling sweats on to continue watching Darren Criss on Youtube. I dug under my bed for the phone and answered.

"Hello?" I said.

"Bella, where have you been?" my manager yelled.

"At home," I said.

"You had a press conference yesterday!" he said.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry, I completely forgot!" I said, the weight of the statement bearing down on my shoulders.

"I made all the reporters sing a written promise not to say anything, but three reporters are coming to your house in an hour to talk about the movie deal," he said.

"And you couldn't have told me sooner?" I asked.

"YOU DIDN'T ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE!" he yelled, using a word he'd never used with me before. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. Look, just be dressed nice and make sure your place is somewhat tidy. And be more careful next time."

"Okay, I'm sorry," I said.

I changed into shorts and a flower print dark blouse, pulled my hair into a ponytail, because despite it being straightened barely two days ago, it was frizzy, bushy and untidy, and made my bed. My room was the right amount of messy to accept for a nineteen year old girl, and so I made my way to the kitchen. I washed the dishes and put them away, stacked the DVDs right and made sure the living room looked ok. Once it looked good, I went back to Twitter. I checked my mentions. They were all fans asking me what was wrong.

Hmmm? I Tweeted: 'Guys, don't freak out, I'm just feeling a little sick, is all. Thanks for the support. Love xx(:'

I looked at my phone, and noticed I had ten missed calls, three texts and two voicemails. I was not, however, in a mood to answer them. The only one I felt like answering was Jacob's, and since the interviewers were practically knocking on my door at this point, I couldn't.

I opened the door. A short, red haired woman carrying a professional camera and a large notepad, her chubby body adorned by a lime green tank top and gray pants. Another woman, this one slim and tall, with straight black hair and piercing green eyes, came in, wearing a light blue blouse and dark dress pants. The last one, a tall man, taller than the woman, came in, wearing jeans and a button-down white shirt with blue lines. As the first lady, they were all carrying cameras and notepads.

"Hi," I said. "Welcome. Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday."

"It's fine," the short woman said. "I'm Addie, E! news reporter. Pleasure to meet you." She shook my hand.

"I'm Sabrina, People Magazine reporter," the taller woman—Sabrina—said. "Can I take some pictures of your house?"

"Um, not now, maybe later," I said, hoping later would be when they were gone.

"I'm Dave, fan site reporter," he said. "I run the biggest site for all music fans, and I consider myself quite lucky to be here, actually."

"Okay," I said. "Well, Addie, Dave, Sabrina, why don't we sit down?"

We sat on my couch and they all took tape recorders, pens and cell phones out.

"We agreed on a list of questions for you, to make it easier," Sabrina said. I nodded. "First question, are you excited about this movie deal?"

"Oh, yes, I am," I said. "I mean, Mario first approached me after the release of my first movie, he told me the story, and I fell in love with it. Of course, it's bound to change, but the core story is still there, and while there might be a lot of action and explosions and stuff, it's a story about sacrifice and love."

"Who do you think should be cast?" Dave asked.

"Um, right now, I can't remember what parts exactly have been cast, but I'd like, um, what's his name?—Tom Felton to play the apprentice. I mean, the apprentice has to be Scottish or something, right? And he's a very good looking guy. I love him in _Harry Potter_. I mean, it's the worst kept secret that I love _Harry Potter_. And for the warlock… I kind of read the descriptions and he's supposed to look like a regular guy in his twenties, right? But he's not supposed to look mega-attractive, he's just a regular guy. I don't know, um, but isn't he supposed to be like of Asian or European descent? Darren Criss is good, right? I love Darren, he's totally awesome."

"And what do you think your fans will like about this movie?" Addie asked.

"Well, first you have to start with, Why are they fans? And that answer would be, because they like my music. Why do they like my music? Maybe they relate to it, I don't know. But I'm totally thankful for it, and anyone who isn't appreciative of their fans is a real jerk. I hope they like the movie because it's going to be a totally different me. I'm not saying I'm going to, say, turn into this character, because God knows the thing I most try to do is stay true to myself, but they're going to see something they're not used to when they think Bella Swan."

"Right, because you have this good girl image," Sabrina said.

"Because I'm not really that type of person. I mean, yeah, I love reading these books where the characters go through things like this, but I'm a more mellow, calm person, and while people are used to seeing Dan Radcliffe and Emma Watson in the middle of an explosion or a battle, they're not used to seeing Bella Swan in battle."

The rest of the interview flashed by, and that Sabrina remembered she wanted pictures of my house, and blatantly disregarding the fact that I said I'd rather they didn't, she went ahead and led them as she took pictures of my living room, my kitchen, my balcony, and my room.

"Excuse me, I'd rather if you didn't publish the ones of my room," I said.

"Why?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

"So little of my life is private anymore, I'd rather that stay mine," I said.

"Fair and valid point, except, oh wait, I don't care," she said. "We need to sell our magazine, and if pictures of your house are what people want, then that's what they'll get."

"But that's not fair," I said. "If I don't want anyone to see my room, then no one should!" I said.

"Too bad, that's how press works," she said, her tone icy. "Now, unless you want me to say you were a bratty, teeny-bopper slut that had boys all over, cheating on your 'boyfriend' and you were just the replica of someone out of Jersey Shore, you move your little ass over there and let us get some candid shots of you."

I was appalled, but I couldn't let my "image" be ruined. I did as she said in silence, and turned on the TV. They got pictures of me watching some random movie, replying to fans on Twitter and making coffee, and they got a few of me posing around my house, and one with the heart over my face.

Then they left, and I waited patiently until it was night time and called Jacob.

"Jake?" I asked.

"Yeah, Bella, what's up?" he asked.

"Where are you?" I asked, my yearning to see him suddenly ten times more potent.

"Actually waiting to board," he said. "We're going to L.A. to finish off the bloodsuckers, and then the Cullens are gonna get the leader and bring her to the older bloodsuckers. That problem will be fixed in a few days. Why do you ask?"

"As soon as you can, I need you to come see me," I said. "It's really important."

"I can go tomorrow, the time depending on how fast we kill off the leeches," he said.

"K," I said. "This is something I need to get off my chest, but it has to be in person."

"Don't _tease_, tell me later," he said. "Oh, shoot, we gotta get on, I'll call you when I get in, k?"

"Bye," I said.

"Bye, Bells," he said.

"Love you," I whispered.

I thought he hung up. "What was that?" he asked.

"Hmm?"

"What did you say?"

"Bye," I said.

"No, after that," he said.

"Love you," I said, my face heating up.

"Then love you, too," he said. I hung up.

Jacob called me the next day, early in the morning, to say he'd come over around four. I wished him luck, and though he said they didn't need it, he sounded a bit worried.

The day was uneventful as any other. Addie posted her bit online, and it was a nice, flattering piece, and the pictures she took were conservative, making the fans think they were seeing all, while actually not showing very much. The candid she used was me drinking coffee, and she also posted the one of me posing, sitting on the sofa with a leg up, the other down, smiling sweetly into the camera as the wind blew my hair back. Dave's piece was nice, but he only posted a picture of me, smiling at the camera while answering Twitter messages. Sabrina sent me an e-mail saying her piece was going to be in the magazine, and I had to wait.

I stayed in sweats all day, watching reruns of Glee on who knows what channel, waiting for Jake's call. I got increasingly worried about him until at five, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize.

"Hello?"

"Bella, it's Seth, Seth Clearwater," he said. "Jake's got his arm broken, so we're getting him fixed up. He said he had to go to your place, so he'll be along in about an hour, two tops."

"Should I make dinner?" I asked. "And how'd he get his arm broken?"

"A little bloodsucker pulled on him before Leah got the leech off," he said. "Nothing to worry about. Your problem's done, with those little bloodsuckers here. Wait, hold on Jake wants to talk to you."

"Ok," I said.

"Hey, Bella," Jacob's husky voice said.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it, it's fine," he said. "Wolves heal fast. Anyway, make pizza tonight. I'll be over in thirty minutes."

"Seth said an hour," I pointed out.

"Seth can't drive," he said. "I, however, can. And so can Embry."

"Whatever you say," I said. "I'll see you in a bit, okay?"

"Yeah, later," he said. I hung up and changed into shorts and a powder pink blouse, and started making some homemade pizza.

By the time the pizza was out and ready to be served, Jacob was already here.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," he said, leaning over and kissing my cheek.

We sat down and began eating, and, my God, good thing I made another pizza, because Jacob eats a lot.

When he was finally satisfied—i.e. when I had no more food to offer—we sat on the couch.

"Okay, I am going to tell you everything," I said.

**In itself, this chapter was a good 5,201 words long. It's okay, right? A cliff hanger, hehe. Anyway, the next chapter is already underway, and since I personally think this story is wrapping up nicely, the next chapter will also be the last. Of course, as I usually do, there will be an epilogue, but the epilogue is usually shorter.**

**Anyway, I don't own CHARACTERS, SONGS, NAMES, PLOTS, MAGAZINES, SITES, OR ANYTHING HERE. **

**Also, this has been a year and a half, for you that have stuck through, and a year and a half for me. And even though I have tried to make this story as realistic as possible, it's a work of fiction, and in fiction, things happen. **

**So, MTV Movie Awards. BD trailer (already saw it) and HP7PII clip (anxiously awaiting!) and actual awards. Best movie? Going by the standards, I think it should be Inception or Black Swan, but going by love, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I. **

**-Love, Adriana. (:**


	31. Sorry but you need to know

**Dear readers of Bottom Of the Ocean,**

**Um, I am sorry. I got a review from someone a few weeks back saying that they wanted me to update this story, and I need to share this news with you.**

**First off, I'm alive and—by health means—well enough. **

**Secondly, just so you know, I think there were three more chapters left in this story, including the epilogue. I finished writing this June of 2011. And out of plain laziness never got around posting this stuff. I had everything saved on a USB drive, and for some reason or other I couldn't post it through my own laptop. And the thing is, I sort of lost that USB in September. I suck, I know. I'm a disappointment and a disgrace as a human being. **

**I can somewhat remember what happens in the following timeline of the story, and maybe with enough motivation I could write it all, but I know it would never be the same as the original. In June, the night I sat and wrote the last thirty pages (which would be the two chapters and the epilogue), I knew I had to finish this thing. I wanted to, so badly. Not because I was sick of it, but because I was sick of feeling guilty about keeping you guys waiting and apologizing, and then doing it over again. So I finish the story and leave it there. **

**But now, I'm at a completely different point in my life. For starters, I don't like Twilight anymore. I dislike the series very much. Which is ironic, considering the only stories I've ever posted have been for this saga. But after I got back into Potter, I realized I never loved this series as much as I love HP. I'm into way different things now. Yeah, I still love Taylor Swift, though. Hehe. No, but seriously, in the past year I have changed a lot. I'm now a completely different person, with different experiences and opinions of certain things, and I'm not sure I could write the ending of this story the same with a completely different mindset. **

**Yes, I know where this story is going. Yes, I remember most of the important plotlines. **

**Could I write it? Probably. Will I? I don't know. Only if you guys want to hear it. If you want me to write it out, leave a review saying so. If you want me to summarize the ending, PM me. **

**Now on with the not-so-depressing (for me, anyway) news. As a Potter fan, one of my best friends got me into reading Dramione (Draco/Hermione) fics. And while I despise the idea of that in cannon the way things ended in the books, in most fics I love the way it works. And I'm currently writing two. I won't post them until they're at least half-way written, but you can PM me if you want to learn about the idea behind them. **

**Another thing, I repeat, if you want me to write this, I probably could. It probably won't be as good and it will undoubtedly be different, but I'll do my best. And probably instead of two chapters, it'll just be one and the epilogue anyways. But only if enough of you want it. **

**Last thing I'm going to say, which would be my almost shameless plug:**

**Follow me on Twitter if you want at: adriswifty13**

**If you have Instagram, follow me at: adrilala17**

**If you need anything, PM me. Just because I'm not posting doesn't mean I'm not here. **

**-Lots of love, Adri (:**

UPDATE: I decided to finish this story. I can't leave it unfinished. So if you _are_ interested in reading it, review and tell me. If you're not, well, sorry. Bye.


	32. Chapter 30

**Alright, as I said, I'm finishing this story. Three things to say.**

**One, funny how this story started out Edward/Bella and it even says so in the description, and it ends up being Jacob/Bella. **

**Two, this is the last chapter. The only thing left is the epilogue, and I think I'll write that tomorrow and post it tomorrow or Monday. Give me some credit, it's 12:20 am right now.**

**Three, I'm not completely happy with this chapter, cause I know it doesn't compare at all with the original one. Some things seem very random at times, and I breeze through most of the time, and it not many things are very detailed. But I'm deciding it's decent enough to post. **

**Also, there are some StarKid references in there. If you know them, you are Totally Awesome. If you don't, and you like Harry Potter and Darren Criss, I suggest you google StarKidPotter and watch. :)**

"What do you mean by everything, Bella?" Jacob asked, looking me in the eye, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Surely you're not gonna tell me everything that's happened since you were born, right? Cuase I do have to get home at some point."

I playfully smack him in the arm. "I meant, I'm going to tell you what's happened since I came to this town. In all honesty."

"Do I _want_ to hear this?"

"You'll love the ending, I'm sure," I said, smiling.

And so I told him. I told him about Edward watching me since I came last summer to shoot the movie, everything that happened during the holidays and how he'd just disappeared, about my fake relationship with Logan, and about my epiphany the previous day. All up to saying that Edward wasn't meant to be with me because he couldn't understand the way I was now, and how he simply screwed up and how I decided to let it go and stop it.

"So, now that you've broken things off with the bloodsucker, what are you going to do?" Jake asked, brows furrowing.

"Well, first thing I'm going to do is call my publicist and ask how much longer I have to be with Logan," I said. "He's a nice guy and everything, but he's just a friend. There's actually someone I really do want to be with, though." I bowed my head so he wouldn't see the red staining my cheeks.

"And who might this lucky guy be?" he asked, his voice tight.

"Well," I said slowly, looking up. "He's tall, he's really sweet. He knows me, which is important. He accepts me the way I am, warts and all. He likes to eat a lot. And he's about to be kissed."

I leaned across the small table and closed the distance between us, finishing my statement with a kiss. A soft brush of lips on lips, and I drew back, smiling a bit.

"Really?"

I nodded.

And he pulled me closer to him and kissed me. And kissed me for what could have been hours or seconds. I didn't care.

Later that night, after talking things over, Jacob left. The smile on his face assured me of everything he'd said. He loved me, and he would never hurt me.

I called my publicist and she said I could break things off tomorrow, if I wanted, but I had to tell Logan first. So I texted Logan and after asking why, he agreed. He was getting annoyed about being secretive with his real—and not celebrity—girlfriend Anastacia, who was one of the sweetest girls to ever walk the earth, considering she was being nice to the girl everyone thought was her boyfriend's girlfriend. We decided to meet up tomorrow and have a talk, and tell the press later. He also said to not be spotted with anyone of the opposite gender until at least two weeks. Said he spoke from experience, so I wasn't going to override that.

I thought about how much my life had changed in the past few days. Losing who you thought was the love of your life and then being sure someone else is the love of your life can really take a lot out of a person, right?

The next day, I dressed in a gray over-sized shirt and white jeans, my heart curly, Converse shoes on and a bright blue bag to complete the look. Makeup was minimal and my blue Ray Bans would do a great job of covering everything I didn't want anyone to see.

Logan and I met in a somewhat crowded park and sat on a bench, close together, but not as close as a happy couple would be. The signs of a breakup had to be there for photographers.

"Bella," he said, not in a loud voice, but loud enough that anyone who was paying attention would hear clearly. "You asked me to see you here?"

"Um, yeah," I said. "Well, remember last night we were talking about what was gonna happen if you get that movie deal and well, things fell apart for me."

"What do you mean?"

"I—uh—well, I can't be with you," I said.

"This is awkward," he muttered.

"Hmm?"

"It's beyond awkward, but it's a relief," Logan said, taking one of my hands in his. "I was actually going to tell you that, um, things have been kind of hard lately. And, well…"

"Things have been done for the past couple of weeks, I know," I said, putting on a brave face. "Let's just save it. You're a really nice guy, and I really hope we can still be friends. I don't want to lose you that way, Logan. You were one of my best friends."

"Yeah, Bells, you're one of my best friends, too," he said. "Friends?"

"Friends."

I smiled at him and withdrew my hand, then got up. "I'll see you around." I walked back to my car and drove back home, knowing full well that Twitter would be the easiest way to "break the news".

"So, Logan's a great guy. Too bad we had to say goodbye."

And then, "Ooh, AWESOME SONG LYRIC!"

Instantly, fans were asking and reporters were calling, but all Logan and I were saying was that it was mutual and we were going back to the easy friendship we'd had before.

A few weeks later, I found myself closing the deal to the new movie, set for filming September through December. Press conference to be held the next day, I walked out, ready to see Jacob. He was flying back from Forks this afternoon, and after a month of calls and video chats, I couldn't wait to see him. I went home and changed into a pretty, lavender and light green sundress, appropriate for the late-April weather, and white wedges. My brown hair had been in a French braid all morning, but now I let it loose, falling past my shoulders in cascading waves. I ate a quick lunch and went to the airport.

The past month had been torture, but pure bliss at the same time. I was having a normal relationship with a semi-normal person who loved me the same way I loved him.

I had begun to see the many things that had made my relationship with Edward so incredibly sick and flawed, and it made sense to me now. They were things I hadn't seen during our whirlwind courtship that I saw now. And they worried me.

First of all, he used to watch me sleep. Not only is that creepy, but I can't believe I found it romantic once upon a time. Yes, in a way it is, but when you break into the girl's room and watch her till she wakes up, that's not…normal.

Second, even if he was physically seventeen, by now he'd been well over 110. I was seventeen when we met. A pedophile is not someone who _looks_ old, is it? It's someone who _is_. And if 110 isn't old, then by God, we all die young. Yes, our romance was beautiful, and the way he would treat me would warm even the iciest heart, but…I fell out of love.

Third, he controlled me. I never admitted it to myself before, but he was always trying to control me. Not in the way that I can't say what I think or do what I please, but in the way that I somehow always ended up bending to his will and doing everything he wanted me to do. When I changed and wouldn't be manipulated this way, I realized that's what he'd been doing all along.

I know all you fangirls in the back are screaming a billion things at me, but this is my decision. If you don't want to stick around to see it happen, no one's forcing you to stay.

I sighed as I parked near the doors where Jacob would soon walk out of. I couldn't wait to see him, but I couldn't help but remember about the last time I'd been in this car, in this airport, waiting for someone, with completely different company.

Yes, I still sometimes missed Edward. But I know I made the right choice. Jacob understands, and he knows everything about me. He is better for me, and he always will be.

Ten minutes later, I see him. I rush out of my position—casually leaning against the side of the car facing the doors—and run to him. He sees me and drops his bag, lifting me up in his arms.

I nestle my face in the crook of his neck and he kisses my cheek.

"I missed you so much, Bella," he whispered.

"Me too," I said.

I stepped back and took his hand in mine, and with his other hand he took his bag. We walked back to my car and dropped his bag in the back seat, then drove to a nice pizza place not far from my place. Jacob was going to be staying in the guest room.

We laughed, talked and laughed during lunch, after paying the bill, we went back home. Jake was tired, and I'd gotten a text saying to check the gossip sites.

"You know where to go," I called out to him as I threw my keys on the table and went to my laptop.

I opened the gossip sites.

**BELLA SWAN SEEN WITH NEW GUY, REP REFUSES TO COMMENT**

**Today, Bella Swan was seen arriving at the airport, and suddenly, she ran out and jumped onto a man we don't recognize. This screams romance, right guys? Well, after that, they went for a late lunch at BreadStix, and they looked quite cozy and in love. We asked her rep if they had anything to say, but they refuse to speak. Hmm.  
Right, so maybe it could be a good friend? I don't think so. It's been a month since she broke up with Logan, and the most she'd said about it was that they were still great friends and talked often.  
I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. In the meantime, enjoy these pictures of the beautiful singer/actress greeting the man at the airport.**

Following was a picture of me hugging Jacob in the middle of the airport, and another of me holding his hand while walking to my car.

The only thing that goes through my head is, _Thank God we didn't kiss_.

Oh well. I'm not going to make any comments about this. Let's just hope it doesn't get out of hand.

April rolled by and I got the script for the movie.

May rolled by and I waved hello to summer, thanking God that I had Jacob to share it with.

On the seventeenth, my manager told me to come by his office so he could give me my summer schedule.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked timidly, walking into his office.

"Yeah," he said. "Sit."

I sat.

"Here's your summer schedule, planned by week," he said. He handed me a lilac piece of paper. "You'll notice July is not in there because that's a month you have free to do as you please." I nodded. "Now, let's discuss this. From the remainder of May, which is like a week, finish recording all the songs, if you haven't, for the next album. I need that released before the movie begins filming but after the summer, so any date in August sounds good. Alright. The first week of June is photo shoots for the CD, a single that needs to be released, and you're going to be on the September cover of _Seventeen_, so you have that one, too. Second week of June is when you'll do the _Seventeen _interview, and I want you do to a benefit concert and a talk show. Third week, I'm shipping you off to a friend of mine's camp, where you'll be camping with other teenagers for that whole week, so you get down and gritty and learn to love the earth and mud and nature, so it's an easier transition for filming the movie, and also because it looks good. And the last week, there's a high profile party and I want you there.

"July, you have off. Go vacationing, go have family time, do whatever you want, but don't do anything stupid, please. August, the first two weeks, you'll be teaching an art class in New York. The following two weeks, you'll be with an acting coach who'll help perfect your acting. And then obviously, the movie starts filming September seventeenth, so that's where you'll be."

"Alright, sir, thank you," I said. "Anything else?"

"No, that's everything for today," he said. "Have a nice day."

The dismissal was obvious, and I walked towards the door, down the stairs and ended up home.

"Well," I said upon seeing Jake sitting on the couch, watching TV, "there go your plans to surprise Angela visiting next week."

"What do you mean?" he asked, tearing his eyes away from the TV. He patted the space next to him. "Come and tell me everything." I tossed the lilac paper at him. "What's this?"

"That," I said, "is my schedule for the summer. Week by week."

His eyes bulged. "You only have July free." I nodded.

"I only have two songs left to record for the album, and I'm free for the remainder of this week and May, and then it'll be photo shoot week. That's usually the most fun," I said wistfully.

"I need to be there," he said with a laugh.

"I'll head to the studio tomorrow and Friday, and then I'm free," I said. "I'm making chicken, by the way."

The next day, I went to the studio and recorder the more fun and more pop-like song of the two. I knew I needed emotional preparation for the not-so-fun one, and I was going to record that one Friday.

Friday, I walked into the studio hall blindly, not taking in my surroundings, and came face to face with none other than Darren Criss.

"Oh, hi," he said, a smile forming on his face.

I know as a celebrity I shouldn't fangirl over him, but I did. I couldn't speak. Or so I thought.

"DARREN!" was what came out of my mouth. His eyebrows raised, and I couldn't help but fangirl again. Then I realized. "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry."

He looked taken aback. "I'm not. You're awesome, and you know who I am. That's even more totally awesome."

_He just said 'totally awesome'_.

"You are so super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot, dude," I said, blushing slightly. "The musicals are amazing."

He blinked. "You're a StarKid?"

"Um, yes."

"Can I hug you?"

I threw my arms around his neck and laughed at the small difference in height between us.

"So, what are you doing here?" he asked when we let go.

"Um, I actually was heading to the recording booth," I said. "I'm recording the last song for my new album, and I need it done today."

"Oh, yeah," he said.

"Would you like to come and watch?" I said.

"Sure," he said. "But first, can I Tweet a picture of us?"

"My dreams are coming true right now," I said, laughing.

We each took out our phones and took pictures, then he Tweeted, "Look who I ran into at the recording booth :D at-bellabooboto" and I Tweeted, "To everyone, this guy is supermegafoxyawesomehot & he's here with me so I'm not alone at-DarrenCriss" and then we went to the recording booth.

He set up the levels and stuff and I got my lyrics sheet.

"You need a guitar?" he asked.

"You _do_ carry your guitar everywhere!" I squealed. "I thought it was just an urban legend!"

"You're hilarious," he said. "Seriously, need the guitar?"

"Sure, why not?"

After Tweeting a picture of me with his guitar with the message "he DOES carry his guitar everywhere! At-DarrenCriss", I closed my eyes and began strumming.

_Last night I heard my own heart beating  
Sounded like footsteps on my stairs  
Six months gone and I'm still reaching  
Even though I know you're not there_

_I was playing back a thousand memories, baby  
Thinking about everything we'd been through  
Maybe I've been going back too much lately  
When time stood still and I have you_

_Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would, you would, if this was a movie  
Stand in the rain outside till I came out  
Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You could, you could if you just said you're sorry  
I know that we can work this out somehow  
But if this was a movie, you'd be here by now_

_I know people change and these things happen  
But I remember how it was back then  
Wrapped up in your arms  
And my friends are laughing  
Cause nothing like this ever happened to them_

_Now I'm pacing down the hall  
Chasing down the street  
Flash back to the night when you said to me  
"Nothing's gonna change, not for me and you."  
Not before I knew how much I had to lose_

_Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would, you would, if this was a movie  
Stand in the rain outside till I came out  
Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You could, you could if you just said you're sorry  
I know that we can work this out somehow  
But if this was a movie, you'd be here by now_

_If you're out there  
If you're somewhere  
If you're moving on  
I've been waiting for you every day since you've been gone  
And I just want it back the way it was before  
And I just wanna see you back at my front door_

_And I say  
Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would before you said it's not that easy  
Before the fight, before you locked me out  
But I take it all back now_

_Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would, you would, if this was a movie  
Stand in the rain outside till I came out  
Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You could, you could if you just said you're sorry  
I know that we can work this out somehow  
But if this was a movie, you'd be here by now_

_It's not the kind of ending you wanna see, now  
Baby I don't like the ending  
No, I thought you'd be here by now_

I looked up to see Darren holding up his phone, presumably taking pictures.

"Well?"

"That's a beautiful song," he said.

"Thank you," I said. "Do you think I got the emotion right? That's the main thing for me in this song."

"Yeah, I think so," he said.

My eyes stung as I pushed back the tears as I remembered when I wrote it, but I looked at him. "I'll run it by a few more times, just in case."

May breezed by and in came June, and photo shoot after photo shoot, I was told I looked gorgeous, and I wore very different and distinctly beautiful and classy styles of clothing. I did a benefit at a school on their last day, and I did two talk shows and the _Seventeen _interview. Mostly, we talked about the movie deal, the summer plans, and nothing ever got too personal. After that, the camping, though distressing at first, proved to be fun and just what I needed.

July was spent by a week in Puerto Rico, a beautiful tropical island, a week in Orlando and Tampa, visiting the Harry Potter park, Universal, Busch Gardens and Sea World, a week with my Dad and Angela in Forks and a week with my mother in Phoenix.

Did I mention that Jacob was always there with me? He was like a rock, always keeping me balanced and in place. And he knew I loved him for it.

Charlie had been exceptionally happy to find that my boyfriend was none other than Jacob, and though surprised, after I explained, Angela was pleased, too. Renee took the news well, considering how much she'd liked Edward, but she could tell I was happy with Jake, and that was all she wanted.

In August, Jacob went to La Push to catch up on school and I went to give classes to little kids. Then I had the acting coach, and before I knew it, I was promoting the new album, due out September fourth. And then, I was on set.

Jacob was finishing his senior year of high school in La Push, and I was filming the movie, and though there was hardly time to talk, I knew he missed me as much as I missed him.

And then and there, the thirty-first of December, as I reflected on everything that had happened in the year, I knew I'd made all the right choices and I was finally happy.

**As I said, I'm not incredibly happy with this, but what can I do? It's decent, even if it doesn't compare to the original. Anyway, the only thing left is the epilogue. I know exactly what happens there, no worries. **

**-Lots of Love, Adri (:**


	33. Epilogue

_Eight years later. _

"Happy birthday, Bella!" Angela squealed, hugging me as she came in through the door.

"Thanks, Ang," I said. "There's some food in the other room, and Sel said she wanted to meet up over there later." Angela smiled at me, her eyes twinkling, no longer behind glasses anymore.

"And your present?"

"You didn't have to get me anything, you being here was enough!" I said. She laughed. "In the guest room by the back door."

She nodded, pecking my cheek one last time before heading off in the other direction.

I was stationed at the door of my house, waiting for the remaining guests to arrive. Only Taylor, my parents and some of the StarKids were left, and I wanted to greet everyone before they came in. Jacob was out there entertaining some friends and the rest of mine were either well-acquainted or getting there as they talked. My guest list had been a mix of celebrities I genuinely liked, normal friends—basically Angela and a girl I'd met at a conference a few years back and we'd kept in touch—and my parents. The StarKids, some of them quite famous, others in their fandom, were mostly here. The only ones that weren't coming weren't really active members anymore, but coming were Darren, Joey Richter, Joe Walker, Lauren Lopez, Brian Holden, Joe Moses, Julia Albain and Dylan Saunders. Some of the other guests were either business partners, but it was a relatively small party. It was being held in my own house, which compared to other Hollywood houses was small.

I looked in the mirror, staring at my reflection, so different and yet so similar. I was wearing a short, purple one-shoulder dress, ending mid-thigh, black peep-toe heels making my legs seem longer than they were. My hair was impeccably straight, and now it was darker, with no bangs. My make up was minimal but elegant, and my jewelry was silver and diamonds. I felt beautiful and elegant, and most of all, young. I looked the epitome of youth, twenty-one or perhaps twenty-two. Hehe, I wish. This is my twenty-seventh birthday party.

I glanced at the white gold and diamond-studded wedding ring on my finger, smiling. Of course I was aging. I should be happy I was still alive.

The doorbell rang again and I opened it.

Five people rushed at me at the same time, hugging me and screaming happy birthday.

Joey, Joe, Lauren, the other Joe, Brian and Julia all drew back and handed me a large bag. "Your present," Julia said. "By the way, Dylan couldn't make it, he had the flu. Says he's really sorry, and that he picked out the present, even though he didn't."

I smiled at them and hugged them each one by one. "It's okay. Presents go in the guest room by the back door. There's food in the other room, and there's one rule." I paused. "Enjoy yourselves."

They all kissed my cheek as they passed, and went the other way.

Again, the doorbell rang. In came my mom.

"Hey, honey!" she said, hugging me close. "Oh, you look wonderful! Happy birthday!"

"Thanks!" I smiled at her. "There's food in the back, and Jade's in her room. She said she didn't want to come out until you arrived. Or Charlie. Or Darren."

"He's not here yet?"

"Nah, he had to finish recording something before he came," I said.

"And your father?"

"I thought he was with you," I said.

The door opened again and my father's arms came around me. "He was," Charlie said. "Just wanted to see if you noticed."

"Of course I noticed!" I said.

"Happy birthday, baby girl," he said. "We got you something, where do we put it?"

"The guest room near the back door," I said. "There's food in the other room and Jade's upstairs."

They hurried upstairs to see Jade.

Ah, Jade. Such a wonderful little cutie. She had Jacob's dark, silky hair and skin, though hers was a bit lighter, and my brown eyes. She was like him in character, sometimes, but sometimes like me, too. Such a beautiful little girl. Only four years old, and most of my friends were in love with the girl.

The doorbell rang again.

"DARREN!"

We hugged and when he let go, he wordlessly handed me a small, silver bag.

"In the guest room," I repeated. "And, what? No happy birthday?"

He laughed. "Happy birthday, Bella." He hugged me again before walked towards the other room. "Joey and the rest are already here, by the way!" I called out.

Now to just wait for Taylor.

I whipped out my phone and wrote her a text, but just as I hit send, the doorbell rang. I sheepishly opened it, expecting Taylor.

What I found was most definitively _not_ Taylor.

"Happy birthday, Bella," Alice Cullen said.

She hadn't been on the guest list—or _any_ of my guest lists for that matter—because even though I'd continued inviting her, she never showed. So I gave up. _So what's she doing here now?_ She wasn't wearing anything that suggested she was going to a party, just jeans and a pretty blouse.

"Alice," I said. "Thanks." A moment passed. "Um, what are you doing here?"

"He was too scared to show," she explained. "But we all wanted to say that we're happy for you and for your happiness, and wish you a happy birthday." She sighed. "And I wanted to meet your daughter."

"You wanna see Jade?" I asked.

"He says it's wrong and we should all just stay out of your life, but I really do care about you like the best friend I've never had, and even if I can't be with you anymore, I want to see your little girl—and you—one last time," she said.

"Alright, come right in," I said. I hadn't seen or spoken to any of the Cullens since the year I broke things off with Edward, though I had tried for a while. And here was Alice. "She's right upstairs, but she should be coming down with my parents any minute now. I suggest you wait till they're gone. She'll probably be playing with Darren, so you can cut in and do whatever."

Alice smiled at me and walked inside, then looked around. Fortunately, Taylor walked in at the moment.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" she squealed. "I got you the cutest pair of—wait, no, you have to see them!"

I hugged her. "Presents in the guest room," I said with a laugh.

She nodded and walked past me, not even noticing Alice. "There's food in the other room, by the way!" I called out.

Finally, I took a step and closed the door. I went to the room where the party was being held and observed all my friends and the people I held dearest to me having fun. Friends beaming at me when they caught my eye, waving and smiling. Warm arms wrapped around my waist and I smiled.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" Jacob asked.

"Only like three thousand times," I said.

"I love you," he said, kissing me cheek.

"I love you, too," I said.

The party was a slow progression of people eating finger sandwiches and pastries, nobody able to keep their eyes off the cake in the middle of the table. Everyone had been dancing, talking, having a great time. Alice came by, told me she'd left my present in the room, pecked me on the cheek, told me Jade Alexandria was beautiful, and left. And when the music cut off and the lights shut down, except for one hanging over the cake and the spot next to it, everyone cheered.

"Hey, y'all, wassup?" the DJ said. Everyone cheered. "Alright, alright, I know everyone wants to dig into that delicious-looking cake, but first, anybody wanna make a toast to Bella here?"

Taylor walked up, grabbed a glass and went over to the spotlight of sorts next to the cake. Her shimmery pink dress sparkled and she smiled.

"I've known Bella since the moment she started, and I'm not gonna lie, I was intimidated," she said, laughing. Everyone chuckled, including Jacob, who had his arm around my waist. "No, seriously, this girl, so incredibly talented, opening for me. Gosh, I was so…shaken. She was a sweet girl, though, and we became really good friends. And I'm so proud of her. She goes and gets herself an incredible career as a singer, and then on a whim auditions and gets one of the most coveted roles in recent Hollywood history—for a franchise that's not a book series, because even though I love you, Bella, you don't beat the Hunger Games—and gets herself this career as an actress, too. And then she finds the most wonderful guy on the planet, who just so happens to love her back, and they have this really princess-y wedding. And then barely a year later, she's pregnant and gives birth to the cutest little girl I've ever seen. And she's still at it. And she's the most down to Earth person you'll ever meet. She's incredible, and she deserves the happiness she has. Happy Birthday, Bella."

And Joey Richter walked up. "Alright, well, Bella's—we all know Bella's awesome. As the cool Taylor Swift here just said, Bella made herself the life everyone wants, and she managed to do so while being such a _dork_. Yeah, we all know she's a dork. But an awesome dork. We love you so much, Bella, and as always, we wish you the best. Happy Birthday, kiddo."

"I'm twenty-seven!" I yelped.

"So?"

I laughed along with the rest.

Lots of people came up with different speeches about how I was so wonderful and how they were so proud of me, and how I'd somehow gotten everything right without even trying. Then my father came up.

"Well, Bella, you're twenty-seven. Ten years ago, you were just moving in with me," he started. "Man, I remember everything about everything. I remember how just by walking through the door of my tiny house, you made me happy. Do you know how happy I was just by having you home? I know you hated Forks as much as the next guy, but you really tried to adjust. You have no idea how much I've missed you. I'm so proud of you, honey. I love you, baby girl. Happy birthday."

I ran up and hugged him. "I love you, too, Daddy."

Renee gave a somewhat similar speech. And when no one else came up, I clapped my hands.

"Time for cake." Everyone cheered. "Somebody get me Jade, I promised she'd get to cut the cake."

My darling, beautiful daughter ran up, her emerald-green dress making her tan skin smolder. "Yay!"

After five failed attempts to cut the cake, she got it and gave Darren the first piece. The look on his face from receiving the most butchered piece was priceless.

Once everyone ate and the music resumed, people began leaving, starting with those who had to be at work the next day. The last to leave was my mother, because she was vacationing and would meet me tomorrow for a shopping spree in the afternoon.

"Jade Alexandria Black," I called out, turning on the lights. "Come on out, it's time for bed!"

My little daughter skipped over to me from the kitchen and jumped into my arms. "You look so pretty, mommy," she said sleepily, yawning.

"And you look sleepy," I said. "Let's get you in your jammies."

When she was sound asleep in her room, I went to the bathroom and took a quick shower, then changed into the most comfortable night gown I owned. Jacob was already asleep on his side of the bed, and as I went over to the window, overlooking our street, I saw him.

It was only a flash, but that bronze hair was hard to miss.

My breathing hitched and I walked back to the bed.

I had made the right decision. I was happy with my life exactly the way it was, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I fell asleep slowly, and with the dreams that came, I knew what I'd chosen was best. What I'd done was best. What I was, was best. And with that, I bid you goodbye.


	34. Thank You

**I know it took me _forever_ to finish this story, but I just want to thank every single person who's reading this for bearing with me. **

**I want to thank you, first of all, for reading. And second, for continuing to read even though I know this story is not only ridiculous, but not as good as it could be if it was written by anybody else.**

**I've been venturing a lot into the Klaine world of fanfics (Glee fans know, not Glee fans, that is Kurt+Blaine) and I find that I kind of suck at writing compared to some of the authors I've found. SO, thanks for reading this, and I hope that even though it's not the best thing ever, you enjoyed it. **

**Now, for the news.**

**I'm not posting any more Twilight fics. I think. If I do, it's only because I know I can't actually write it as a story because it's based off something real or from a TV show or whatever, and I'll just be using the characters and the places because out of all the franchises and series I love, it's the easiest to just play around with the characters in completely different situations and it works. I mean, imagine writing Peeta and Katniss in a normal high school writing the school paper. Not normal. So I find it easier to write a scenario like that with Edward and Bella. **

**I may be posting in the near future Dramione fics. I'm in the process of writing one loosely based (or not so loosely based) on the Katy Perry song _The One That Got Away_. I got it all planned out, don't worry.**

**Anyway, thanks so much for bearing with me, I love you guys. :)**

**-Adriana**


End file.
